Disclaimer : I don't own One Piece, no, nope, nein, niet.
megaME - Ahem *gulps nervously*, so the line in Spanish means "Make love to me until I can't take no more." and the French line is a little cruder and it means "Fuck me until I lose all my strength" (which sounds quite awkward in English but that sentence was awkward to begin with, so wth)
(Sweetie) ANON - *reaches for a glass of water* Sanji is a nice character, isn't he…?
Seis Fleur - All these nosebleeds… I'm lost, I don't know what to do!
(Cutie) Guest - *wipes sweats off forehead* The new chapter is here.
UltimateC3 - Haha…! Thank you! I'll write that on my whiteboard tomorrow.
Kojo208 - Right?! Go get your fork!
NinjaSheik - *gets her Ventolin out* Naw! And I wish I had published this earlier but I ran into a few emergencies this week.
(Pretty) Guest - (You can go get your fork too)
(Lovely) Guest - I know, that's very… handy of her, if I can say so (haha…HAHAHAHAHAHA)
Otaku-SIG - *pushes her LIFE ALERT button* I'm melting and drowning in my tears
bAsAn - I hope the "plot twist" won't deceive you though! (and I'm deeply sorry, I'm anemic)
A/N : In the middle of writing this, I realized that it contained spoilers "up to" chapter 699 (that I obviously tweaked for the purpose of this story, ahem) … Ah… I'm sorry…
So here comes the last chapter and I'd have to warn you that the sexiness has drastically been toned down too… If it had a title it would be, "In which Zoro's proactive behavior gets an explanation". Yeah, definitely, that's a good wack title.
The vision of her whole naked self was still pretty clear in his wandering mind when she uttered the following words with a smile that, after the fact, seemed way too dauntless.
"I am pregnant, fufufufu~"
Let's just say that the effect was as instantaneous as getting a "fierce ass" punch from an exaggeratedly angry Nami, on a cool, sunny and relaxing afternoon of napping.
Zoro abruptly sat up, with his right eye wide open just to find out he was alone, in his hard bunk bed, sweating heavily and almost hyperventilating. He brought his tensed hands to his face and palpated it to make sure it had… just been a dream. An excellent dream that could have gone down in (his) history if it hadn't been for the brutal and cruel ending that had awoken him up in this state.
"Robin…? Pregnant…? You have to be bullshitting me!"
Indeed, there were a few variables that might not quite sit well with his ideals of a romantic relationship with the gorgeous black-haired archeologist of the Straw Hat Pirates. Among other things, his ideals included keeping aforesaid relationship hidden from the rest of the crew, having tons of sex, sparing him of improvised moments of melodramatic cuddling (a rule Zoro often bypassed himself) and, above all, no babies. Those tiny crying and screaming pink creatures that would evolve into children for whom he'd have to put his responsibility on the line… Well, those things were definitely a "¡NO!" for him.
After his little moment of panic, the swordsman calmed down and lay down on his back, leaving his arms and legs, hanging outside of the bedstead, exactly like when he had fallen asleep. He wouldn't be able to doze off after such shock so he just remained still and checked his surroundings, albeit a little bit anxious and apprehensive.
In the bed above him, he could hear his captain and fellow bony companion snoring really loudly. Judging by the few colors that streamed through their quarters, it might have been one hour or two before dawn, at most. As he was sighing, Zoro came to realize he felt a kind of stickiness down there. He decided to check it for himself and slightly lifted his clothing just to find, in horror, that in fact, it was what it was. Jerking a low grunt and cussing at himself, he got up, reached for a towel in his closet and headed out of the boys' room.
As soon as he opened the door, he was welcomed with the sight of two of his youngest crew mates, still disguised as samurai for their exceptional shared guard duty. The first one to notice him was the little reindeer who turned to him.
"AH!" Chopper screamed, soon followed by Usopp with a similar yelp.
"Ah." he then calmly uttered, "It's just Zoro."
"Phew, you got me scared there, Chopper! There's no way Doflamingo would come out from our room to attack us, right?!"
"Right!" the little one energetically assented in return before asking his green-haired idol "But Zoro, what are you doing up that early?"
"I'm gonna take a bath." the swordsman replied nonchalantly as he cooly removed the top of his robe and placed the towel on his left shoulder, already going towards the wrong direction.
"A bath?!" Usopp & Chopper both merrily exclaimed before looking at each other in their sparkling eyes.
The long-nosed sniper then took one of his coolest poses and declared : "Yosh! Let's go take a bath too! To celebrate our intensive and brave efforts! We have to revive our warriors' bodies and guide this miserable Zoro and its poor sense of direction!". As expected, the last remark didn't leave the interested man unaffected and Zoro's contorted face betrayed his short irritation.
"HM!" Chopper agreed. He was so excited that one could barely say he had stayed up for so long.
"Oi, Usopp, Chopper, be quiet, the others are still sleeping." Franky advised, talking from his spot near the ship's rail, in a very chilled out manner.
The two lively boys briefly exchanged a knowing look then rushed in the direction of the bathhouse, followed by a calmly sighing Zoro.
After they finally arrived inside the bathroom, Usopp and Chopper removed their artificial clothing in a flash and got engaged in a race to be the first to dive in the large bathtub. While they were splashing themselves with hot water to then begin soaping their bodies, Zoro sat a little further away, to wash his manly mess at a much calmer pace and in a more… discreet way. As he went on with his cleaning, he couldn't shake off the thought of Robin telling him she got pregnant someday.
Zoro was so absorbed in thinking about tricking scenarios that he was oblivious to the ruckus Chopper and Usopp were causing next to him. It was only when their shouts got exceedingly louder that it snapped him out of his thoughts so he scolded and shushed them.
A while passed before the three ended washing each other's back, save for the swordsman who ended the straight line they formed. Before long, Usopp poured hot water on himself, got up proudly and faced a startled Chopper.
"It seems I've won now, haha!" And while his laughter trailed away, the sharpshooter was running to the bathtub. Usopp leaped high then plunged in the clear water, splashing his two other companions in the process.
"Oi, Usopp, that's not fair!" Chopper scolded in a whine after wiping his face off. The little doctor tried to wiggle away from Zoro to imitate his partner in idiotic crimes. The swordsman was ready to let go of him. After all, Chopper could do whatever he wanted as long as it didn't clash with Zoro's "personal space". However, it then hit him that he could take the advantage of having this moment with the doctor to ask a few questions about Robin's current medical condition and what not.
"Wait, stay still." Zoro simply ordered.
Chopper obeyed, turned a little back to look at him, a little surprised. "Oh, ok." he eventually agreed.
Zoro resumed brushing his soaped up fur. "Say… Chopper…" the green-haired man began saying quite hesitatingly, thinking about how the cute reindeer would interpret his would-be unusual nosiness. He stopped for a brief moment when he saw the doctor turn to face him once again, expecting him to finish whatever he wanted to say. Zoro then cleared his throat and finally asked "Has Robin been in good health lately?"
"Yes, why?" Chopper almost immediately answered.
"There's nothing strikingly unusual in her report, right?" the green-haired man stressed.
"Nothing at all! It even looks like her health is better than what it used to be two years ago. Lately, her vitamin D level has been a little lower than usual but there's nothing to worry about. " Chopper smiled throughout his explanations.
"And she doesn't sport those strange hematomas on her body anymore! You know those vine bruises she sometimes had on her neck, torso and legs!" the doctor proudly revealed.
Zoro froze on the spot and stared into space before Chopper called him back to earth.
"Why are you asking this, Zoro?"
"You can't help but fight an omen if it's about the endangerment of your nakama's well-being." was only what he could come back with after a pretty good moment of reflexion.
Chopper gazed at him with round eyes in silence for a few instants before concluding in a praise "Haha~! Zoro, you're so cool~!"
"Her latest health checkup was done after we departed from Fishman's Island but I guess I can ask her to do another one later in the day!" the doctor finally stated after a while.
"Hm." Zoro simply purred before he took a basin full of hot water then poured its content on Chopper "Done. You're good to go!"
"Yay! Usopp, look, I'm coming!" the reindeer exclaimed before rushing to leap and plunge in the bathtub.
As soon as the hooves of his hind feet left the ground, Chopper excitedly yelled : "Heavy Point!"
Next thing his crew mates knew, the reindeer transformed into his second strongest form with the sole intention to make a better diving than the lying sharpshooter's.
"Wait, Chopper st-" Zoro tried to warn him but it was probably too late.
After a quite dramatic moment, a few smacks on the back of their heads and another session of cleaning for Zoro, the swordsman finally joined them in the tub and stretched out his arms as he laid his back against the walls.
Usopp & Chopper had been calmly making the water squash, just faintly enough to not anger Zoro ever again, until the reindeer paused and mused for a moment.
"Oi, Chopper, what's wrong?" Usopp asked after he also stopped playing with the water.
Far from paying attention to their childish antics, Zoro was trying to relax and shoo the stupidities that had fiddled with his mind since he woke up. He certainly wasn't ready to hear the most wicked excuse his lover had ever said to hide their little affair.
"Robin doesn't have those marks anymore…"
"Chopper, what are you even talking about?" the long-nosed one once again called for his attention, even more intrigued that the archeologist's name was brought up in the conversation. Zoro only opened his able eye and gazed at the two that were opposite him.
"Then it means there are no longer leeches in their room!"
"Leeches?!" Both Zoro and Usopp inquired, out of astonishment.
"There was this one time I asked you and Luffy to check out the girls' quarters because there were peculiar leeches attacking Robin from time to time, during nighttime, she said."
Even though he forcefully kept his eye closed, Zoro felt more than flabbergasted and decided to stay quiet and keep on eavesdropping. That had to be the lamest thing she had ever come with.
"Now that you talk about it, I do remember that!" Usopp continued the conversation, holding his chin with his fingers. He then added with a shrug "We never got really inside, Nami absolutely prohibited us to do so. She kicked us out, actually."
"Oh… And did Nami say anything about them?"
"Hmmm… She must have said something like 'Right, right, and I'm Miss East Blue' or something." Usopp jestingly said so, mimicking the navigator's mannerism.
"So this is a mystery will never see with our own eyes…" Chopper stated, really pensive. "I asked Sanji to check the women's quarters as well but he turned blue right after I said the word 'leeches'."
"Did he know they were in the girls' room?"
"I can't remember if I mentioned it… I was so shocked to see him turn blue that I probably thought about treating him first."
Usopp sighed. "What about Brook?"
"Brook isn't even allowed to approach their room!" Chopper blurted in response and, as if he had anticipated Usopp's next question, he added "And when I told Franky about it, he only said that there should be only one 'SUUUUUPER' huge leech that roamed in their quarters… but he couldn't do anything or Robin would snap him in half."
The tiny doctor then turned to the green-haired guy. "Zoro, do you know what they look like?"
"How would I know? I'm not supposed to go inside their room either."
"But once I saw you get in-"
"Must have been your imagination." the swordsman cut him off, as a way to defend himself on the spur of the moment.
Usopp narrowed his eyes. "Uh…" He was far from being convinced. "Oh well" the long-nosed pirate eventually shrugged off.
After they got back to their rooms, picked clean clothes and changed themselves, Zoro, Usopp and Chopper went on the deck of the Thousand Sunny, waiting for the sun to rise and the others to join them. Progressively, they saw their companions, the permanent as well as the temporary ones, leaving the places where they had spent the night. They all greeted each other as a new eventful day was ahead of them, with its direction being set by the content of the newspaper that had freshly landed on deck thanks to the News Coo.
He finally saw her getting out of their quarters, holding Kinemon's son in her arms as he was shyly rubbing his eyes in this difficult moment of awakening. The raven-haired woman was followed by Nami who exuberantly stretched out her arms while she was conversing with Robin. When they finally arrived down the stairs, the archeologist let go of the little boy who directly run to meet up with his father. And Zoro could bet his other eye that she had the same foolishly merry smile she had worn on her face right before his sexy dream was crushed. Nico Robin proceeded to skirt the semicircle of people that had gathered around Luffy and the newspaper, not forgetting to greet each of them as she passed by them. She finally sat down just behind Chopper who spun around to talk to her briefly.
"So, how was your guard duty?" Robin sweetly smiled
"Usopp and I did a very good job!" Chopper proudly revealed.
"Fufufu, I wouldn't doubt it, even for a moment."
"We then took a bath with Zoro and, it doesn't look like it but we're ready for battle!"
"I'll count on you, then." she purred in response as she turned her head towards the - already, she had noted - grumpy swordsman.
"Ah, Robin, would you mind if I do another checkup today?"
"Not really but may I ask why?" Robin inquired as she faced Chopper again.
"Hmm…" Chopper voiced as he tried to come with a valid reason and an idea suddenly flashed within his mind. With a swift change of facial expression, he used one of his most serious - but, unfortunately for him, in her opinion, it was also one of his most jesting - tone and said "You can't help but fight an omen if it's about the endangerment of your nakama's well-being."
In the back of his mind, Zoro snickered. As for Robin, her smile grew a little bit wider right before she accepted his request.
"All right, whenever you want."
While they kept talking about trivial things, plans and assumptions on Dressrosa, Zoro started to detail her figure, on the lookout for any sign that could betray a would-be pregnancy. That should be the number one reason that prevented them from having a good and hot one and one since they had left the Sabaody Archipelago, he thought. Yes, Zoro still had difficulty shaking off these thoughts and the day had barely started.
Right when he began his inspection, Robin was actually tying her hair up in a ponytail with a black ribbon. Zoro gazed at her long hair and started to revive all these feelings that filled his - not so regretted - wet dream : the sensation of clenching her hair and hear her moaning out of subtle pain but insane pleasure, the feeling of her soft skin and her curves being intensely groped by his bare hands, their respective tastes they had shared through kisses during their lovemaking sessions, the echoes of her enticing voice saying his name so seductively, the whole feeling of becoming one with her, the only woman he had accepted to love at such crazy extent with his mind, body and soul…
Soon enough, his blood pressure started playing tricks again and he could feel his ears turn brightly red when she dared look back at him with her signature smile. And, maybe, that was what brought sense to him on that very moment.
"Wait a minute, since we haven't had sex together since the reunion, if Robin ever got to be pregnant, I wouldn't be the…!"
It's not that he didn't have the courage to finish his thought, but he was quite astounded by the even crueler reality that had fallen upon him, out of his very own stupidity. He would soon know that he might not have the time to solve this puzzle or even get the dose of intimate fun with the raven-haired archeologist in the near future since the crew was soon to be engaged in another new extraordinary adventure. And then his sense of duty would surpass any other motive and he might, in fact, totally forget about the whole story.
But for the moment, his look in the eye had given way to a simply idiotic and stunned facial expression that took her a little aback. Robin's lips parted but before she could even call his name, both of their attentions were called by Luffy's shouting voice as he read the headlines of that day's edition.
"Donquixote Doflamingo 'Resigns from Shichibukai'!… And he's abdicated the throne of Dressrossa?!"
A/N : And... This shortfic finally comes to end!
Thank you very very very much for reading and putting up with your nosebleeds, blushing moments and my own stupidity. I will now embark on the ship towards the preparations of my final exams and I hope to write again as soon as I can.
Have a very lovely week!