Look How You Turned Out 75

"There won't be anymore," I say to Edward gasping. "Sorry."

"It's all right. Whatever you say."

"Tell me…oh God…," I work my way through another pain. When it ebbs, "…I'll never have to go through this again."

"You won't," he says. He's rubbing my back for all he's worth because the labor is in my back. I've been at it three hours and the pain…well who knew. He's been rubbing and telling me to breathe, reminding me that every pain is progress and that small-framed girls deliver babies naturally all the time and I'm doing so well.

"Shut-up and rub," I say as another pain starts up on the tail of the one that just left.

"Mother of God," I say soon as I can. I roll onto my back and open my legs.

Edward is dabbing over my face with a wet rag. I don't know what I want other than this kid out of me, but that rag is not working. I strike out and he says sorry.

No, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a bitch, but my body is clenching up for another one. "God I'm going to have it right now!" I say loudly.

Then here I go and this pain…could I describe it you'd think I was making it up. It's a T-Rex, I'll say that.

"Look at me baby. Breathe. Look at me."

I look at him and he has no idea how the room just got dark around him. "It's coming," I pant.

"Not yet Babe. They were just in here and they said…."

The doctor just wanted to get down the hall to deliver that other one. "It's coming," I think I yell.

I have repositioned myself and Edward takes a look and he says, "My God. There's a head." He's down there with his hands positioned like he's about to catch a football. I'd tell him to get the nurse but I've got another pain. Just then the door opens and she shows up anyway and she says, "Oh my God," just like he did, and he's reading her the riot act for not being around when the baby decided to poke its head out.

I'm going into this growl that starts somewhere in my chest. I can't control it cause I'm pushing. The nurse tells me to stop and Edward gets a little louder saying I'm not stopping. Another nurse comes in, then another. The doctor hurries in next. I get a flash of Edward backing up for a minute, his eyes on me, in that one flash I see his helplessness, but that doesn't last long cause in a couple of minutes he's drawn close, part of the team, all of them fixated on my hoo-hah like it's a seventy-inch HD TV.

But I can see the joy in Edward's face. The baby is out, and it cries right off, a little bleat. And he's crying too, my husband. And they're all carrying on down there but they hold it up for me to see, this perfectly formed…doll. My child. From me. They're jabbering at me, but I don't hear. This darling…came from me.

Edward cuts the cord. He's following the nurse who's holding our child, and the doctor is saying the baby is fine, the nurse lays it in the little bed and messes around while they mess around with me. But I can't take my eyes away from that little form, its noises and movements, and then the look on the daddy's face.

After a time Edward comes over to me then, he kisses me and I remember what got me in this trouble in the first place. He kisses the hand he holds. "Oh Babe. Wait 'til you see."

Then he's gone again, out of my way and he's holding the baby. He comes to me and lays her in my arms.

"Here's your beautiful Mama," he says. And I take that little fist and she has her eyes open, I know she's as shocked as I am right now, but it will be all right. I won't let anything happen to her.

My Rebecca.