A/N: Thank you to Not A Ghost3 for working with me on this chapter.
Warning : This chapter contains flashback images of rape.
Chapter 3 - Broken
I woke up on Sunday morning feeling rested and capable of facing the day. After yesterdays episode, I felt like all eyes were on me and I needed to make more of an effort to appear normal. I had spent the remainder of Saturday in my room. Edward and Carlisle had popped in from time to time, but for the most part I had been alone. I didn't feel like the anxiety pills were helping me any. So last night I had managed to slip down to Carlisle's office, with the pretense of getting a cold pack, and slipping a few strips of pain killers. I had gotten them to partly to help with the pain, but mostly it was to knock me out, so I slept at night. I knew I talked in my sleep, and I was frightened of what I would say. I had been prescribed them before for one of the many accidents that I had when I was younger and knew they were strong enough to do the job. Getting them out the office had been the easy part, getting them past Edward, who happened to be in my room was harder. But somehow I pulled it off.
I slid out of bed, wondering why Edward wasn't around. Had he figured out what had happened? Maybe I had pushed him away? I decided to skip the shower today, I knew no amount of time in there would make me feel better. I dressed myself in leggings and hoodie, making my way downstairs. I found the house to be eerily quiet, it made me feel uneasy. I found Alice and Jasper were cuddled up on the couch. Alice greeted me, and Jasper gave me a pained look. I decided to avoid the empath and headed for the kitchen. I wasn't really hungry, but I was all for keeping the pretense and looking normal. I grabbed myself a bowl and poured myself some cereal and milk. As I sat down at the island to eat Carlisle walked into the room. "Morning Bella. I'm glad to see you up and about." He smiled, sitting down across from me with a newspaper in hand. "How are you feeling?"
I had always loved Carlisle and his need to help others, but when it came to this I was starting to resent him. "I'm fine." I replied as I looked down at my cereal.
"Are you sure?" He asked, reaching over to take my hand. I flinched back. He looked hurt.
"I'm...fine." I said again, trying to sound more convincing than the first.
"It would be better if you talk to someone, rather keep things bottled up. Maybe if you don't feel you can talk to me than perhaps another member of the family." I didn't answer. "How about Esme or maybe Jasper?"
I whimpered as I stood up. Why did they need to meddle? Why couldn't they just let me be? "I'm fine." I turned to leave the room as Carlisle reached out for my wrist to stop me. He hadn't meant any harm, but when I screamed he looked alarmed.
"I.. I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to scare you."
"No...no... You didn't" I stammered.
"I just wanted to ask you to come up to my office." I really didn't want to go up to his office. "Edward said he... er... he smelled a few cuts that you had fallen. I really just wanted to check you over to see if you were okay." He knew.
I started to panic. I had to get out of here. "I'll come up later." I said as I turned to leave. It was starting to get very hot in here, and I was struggling to catch my breath. I had to get out. I hurried through the living room. I heard Carlisle call after me, but I couldn't concentrate on what he said. I raced out the front door and into the drive, gasping for air. I bent over leaning my hands on my knees trying to catch a breath as the tightness took hold of my chest. I couldn't see. Colours were forming in front of me turning to darkness.
"Jacob, please! You have to stop!" I cried out as I pounded his arms.
He moaned as his lips worked their way down from my neck to my breasts. His hands made their way down to my jeans zipper. I clutched at his hands trying to stop him. "Jake, please!" I begged. "You... You can't take this back." He took my hands and pinned them above my head. I continued to struggle, but it was no use.
I closed my eyes as he pulled my jeans off with his spare hand, tears streaming down my face.
I felt him stop. I sprang my eyes open, hoping that he had realized what he was doing and stopped. The Jacob I saw before me was not one I recognized. His eyes were pits of dark pools, full of a hunger I did not understand. He sat taking me all in as if he were savoring the meal before the bite.
"Jake! Jake! Look at me!" I shouted, hoping to snap him out of this craze.
I started kicking and screaming as I felt him touch my panties. He raised his hand and slapped me hard across the face. I cried harder as I realized there was nothing I could do to stop this.
I felt someone touch my arm. I turned to see who was there, but I couldn't see, darkness clouded my eyes. I could hear far off voices shouting, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. I stumbled back. Coldness wrapped around me. Then I felt my body go limp, followed by the darkness.
I sat in our meadow mulling over recent events. I was worried about Bella, and I couldn't understand her behavior. Something had happened to her, I was sure of it. She hadn't been herself for months, not since Charlie had died, but she had never been this bad. When Charlie had passed away she had distanced herself from my family and me, clinging to Jacob. Carlisle had advised me to let her be, it was her way of coping, and I had. It pained me to watch her leave us to go and spend time with him, but I wanted her to be happy again. To see her smile. If this would work, then, I was willing to try it. After a few months with him, she had started to spend more time with us. She had started to be happy. It was just around that time that he had started to distance himself from her. It started with text message cancelling plans. Then he wouldn't answer her calls. She had gone over a few times, and Billy had said he wasn't in. It was starting to send her backwards in the healing process. I could kill him for hurting her. My family and I do the best that we can, trying to occupy her and take her mind off things. I wished she hadn't gone there. I had expressed often that she should stay away from him after the way he was treating her. She had gotten worse since Friday. How dare he tell her never to come back. He had broken her heart.
There were other things that played in my mind that I just couldn't make sense of. She had told me that her truck had broken down. God knows I had tried to kill it off several times to buy her a better car, and that thing would not die. I just didn't understand why it wouldn't work now. Then there was the fact that he let her walk up the road himself, argument or not, Jacob had always looked after her. When I saw her, on Friday night, she stunk of dog. I didn't understand the smell or how she was as dirty. She was covered in sand, it had been all through her hair and stuck in her clothes. Her actions were also causing me concern, she had covered her clothes in bleach? What was she trying to hide? My family had a few ideas about that one. None of them I wanted to contemplate. I had also smelled a strange scent of blood from her. She had said she had fallen, and that was more than believable for Bella. She couldn't walk without falling half the time. However, something just smelled off about the blood. Jasper had come with me that night to make sure I didn't cross the treaty line, which I had, but only for a second. When I had heard her crying, and then saw her, she looked so broken. I couldn't have left her like that.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I wondered whether to answer it or just let it ring. It was probably one of my family checking up on me. They knew I wasn't handling Bella's break down well. Then there was the possibility that something could have happened to her. I pulled my phone out, seeing Alice's name on the screen. "What's wrong?"
"It's Bella." Alice sounded upset.
"I'm on my way." I hung up the phone and started running towards home. I had to see that she was okay. I raced towards our home searching for my family's thoughts as I got closer, but they all seemed to be doing their best to occupy their mind with other thoughts. Carlisle greeted me on the front porch, I knew it had to be bad. "What's wrong?" I asked him as I reached his side. I put my hand out to open the front door, but he put his hand out to stop me.
"Bella had another episode. I had to sedate her again." He started. "It was my fault. I approached to see how she was feeling. I suggested that she should talk to a member of the family, it wasn't good to keep things bottled up... Then I asked her if she could come to my office to checked her over." I growled at him. He had his own ideas about what was wrong with her. He was just trying to confirm those ideas.
"You shouldn't have asked her."
"Edward, we need to find out what is wrong with her. I just wanted to look her over see if there were anything..."
I growled. "I know what you think is wrong with her."
He laid his hand on my arm. "No, really Edward, that was just me thinking to myself. I...I don't think he did. I don't believe that he could do that..." I turned to head into the house. "There's another thing." I turned back to face him. "I was fetching some things to take to the hospital, we were running a little low. I'm missing two strips of Hydromorphone. Bella's the only one that could have taken them."
I clenched my fists in anger. "Do you think she planned to...?" I couldn't say the words.
"At this stage I'm not sure. It's possible that she could have taken them because she is in pain. We will need to find them and keep and eye on her. If she has them in her system just now, then it will take her longer to wake." I nodded. "Another thing... With your permission, I would like to examine her when she is still asleep."
"No! Absolutely not." I growled, storming in the house and heading up the stairs to my love. I found her on the bed, she looked at peace. I sat down taking her hand in mine, my other hand running down the side of her face. My sweet Bella... what is wrong with you. How can I fix it?