Fans of Dawson Leery and/or Riley Finn may want to look away

I don't own the characters. The Dawson's Creek ones belong to Kevin Williamson and the Buffy ones belong to Joss Whedon.. I got the Dawson/Riley boring each other idea while posting on the Slayer Fanfic Archive Board. Enjoy! Send feedback to queenclaire@chickmail.com

Dawson Leery looked out of his window and prepared for another monotonous day of his summer vacation. Without Joey, his life held no meaning. She had left.

"With Pacey," he thought. "My best friend. How could he? Even though I treat him like crap the whole time, how could he do this to me?"

"As a matter of fact, how could Joey have done this to me? Despite the fact that I'm always screwing with her head, rejecting her and then wanting her, and despite the fact that I have absolutely no claim to her, I'm annoyed. And I get to be annoyed because I'm Dawson. It's my creek, my show and I get to be as unreasonable as I want!"

"Hi, Dawson!" Andie greeted him, climbing into his bedroom through the window as was the custom for the women of Capeside. They hadn't quite figured out why doors were there yet. "I'm feeling depressed over Pacey because I still love him, even though I slept with someone else and didn't make my feelings known about him until after it became clear he was interested in Joey. I still love him and it's tearing me in two. Oh, well, I'm going to get written out next season so I guess I won't have to deal with that anymore. I'm probably going to kill myself, seeing as how I'm crazy and psycho and all." She smiled tentatively.

"Hey, where's Jack? Maybe I should get together with him, seeing as how I clearly can't handle relationships with women," Dawson mused. "Or I could just watch ET or Jaws for the ten billionth time. I wish I had someone to discuss my creative musings with. If only Nikki was still here."

"But I am, Dawson," Nikki said, climbing in the window. "I love you. I've always loved you. You have so much talent and dedication."

Dawson acknowledged this with a broad smile. "Really? You think I have talent?"

"Oh, yes, definitely," she smiled, leaning in to kiss him. He stopped her. "No. I can't do this. I can't betray Joey like this. I'm going to be in love with her until I die, like the sad pathetic guy that I am."

"Hey, Dawson," a guy's voice said, as a tall figure climbed in through the window. "What's up?"

"Riley? What are you doing here?" Dawson asked with a smile.

Riley Finn sighed. "My girlfriend and I had a fight. I think she's still in love with that Angel guy. I'm gonna go and beat him up, although clearly that would be impossible as he's fought Buffy, and she can throw me across the room with her little finger. Which makes for interesting bedtime games. But enough of that. I'm here to practice the brooding thing."

Andie was shooting admiring glances Riley's way. "Hey, Dawson, you gonna introduce your friend?"

"Oh. Right. This is Riley Finn, my childhood friend who moved away when we were little. I know you've never heard of him, but if Pacey can have a childhood friend then so can I. Riley, this is Andie MacPhee."

"Charmed," Andie smiled at him in a totally soppy way.

He smiled back.

***

"So, basically, Dawson, my life is in pieces," Riley said.

"You think your life's messed up?" Dawson said. "Hey, let me tell you…"

Nikki was sitting on the floor, looking bored, flipping through Dawson's pretty bad CD collection. Andie was sitting on Riley's lap, her head resting against his chest, his arms around her, as Riley and Dawson played the "I have more problems than you" game.

"Riley Finn, what the hell are you doing?" Buffy Summers demanded, striding in the door. Ah, finally, someone who knew how to use the door. It was a Capeside first.

"I - uh - um," he stammered, standing up and pushing Andie away from him. "Buffy, it's not what it looks like."

"Yeah, I'm sure," Buffy rolled her eyes. "Who is this little tramp, anyway?" She glanced around the room. "God, this place is more boring than the funeral parlor. Hey" - she caught sight of Nikki - "Kendra?"

"Uh-uh. Not me. No way," Nikki panicked, and then dove out the window.

"Hey! She faked her own death to get out of the slayer duties! What a bitch!" Buffy exclaimed, leaping out the window after Nikki/Kendra.

"Cool idea," she added as she landed on the ground beside her old friend. "I'm so impressed!"

Kendra smiled. "Well, I wanted a life."

Andie climbed out the window and down the ladder to join Buffy and Kendra. "Hey, guys? Mind if I hang with you for a bit? Riley and Dawson are moaning about how bad their lives are again."

"Oh, God," Buffy rolled her eyes. "It's so boring when Riley gets like that. I just want to tie him up and torture him, you know?"

"Totally get you. Sorry about sitting on his lap and all that."

"Oh, it's fine. At least you didn't screw him. I hate it when people do that. Although, now that I think about it, I'm not sure why."

"He's got the looks, but the personality's missing?" Andie suggested.

"Yeah. Definitely. Hey, by the way, what's the name?"

"Andie."

"Andie, I have got the perfect guy for you. Yummy and with a personality. Sure, he's got some emotional baggage" - at this Andie's eyes lit up - "but he's a pretty cool guy. Angel's the name. Here, I'll give you his number."

"So, how's Xander?" Kendra suddenly asked.

"Do I detect a hint of interest?" Buffy raised her eyebrows. "He's going out with an ex-demon at the moment."

Kendra looked disappointed. "How about Giles?" she asked hopefully.

"Do not go there," Buffy said.

They suddenly heard a thump from the Leery household, and climbed back in through Dawson's window again. Both Dawson and Riley lay lifeless on the floor.

"Looks like they bored each other to death," Andie said, searching for a pulse from either of them.

"Oh, well," Buffy shrugged.

Joey and Pacey climbed in the window, and Joey gasped when she saw Dawson's body. She knelt down beside him on the floor.

"Oh, Dawson, no, no, I love you! Even though I told you I didn't want to be with you, and spent the summer with your best friend, I still love you! Don't leave me!" She looked around wildly for a sharp object.

"Here," Buffy said helpfully, handing her a stake.

Joey drove the stake through her heart and promptly exploded into dust.

"She was a vampire?" Pacey asked incredulously.

"Huh. Guess she's the one who gets killed off," Andie said. "I get to stay. Yay! Now, Buffy, where do I find this Angel guy?"

Buffy was too busy gazing into Pacey's eyes. "Huh?" she muttered distractedly.

Kendra rolled her eyes. "Angel lives in LA. He's hot. And a vampire."

Andie shrugged. "So far, so good."

"And your name would be?" Pacey asked Buffy, utterly enchanted.

"Buffy Summers. You?"

"Pacey Witter. Now, why is it I feel I've been waiting for you my whole life?"

"Because I've been waiting for you too," she said.

Andie sighed. "Aaaaw. How sweet. I'm off to LA."