Why? Why did I ever introduce myself as his younger sister? Now, my love for him would always be considered incest. I can only sit on the side-lines and watch as the object of my adorations is stolen by these girls. I have to watch as he speaks to these humans, as he tells them all the words I wish he would say to me. He has never looked at me and seen anything but a nuisance, the demon who dragged God out of his perfect realm. He sees nothing but the contract.
Because of him, I began wishing to be possessed by a Weiss. He would finally love me, though I know it would only be a façade. Quite pathetic for a demon, is it not? A member of the Spirit-Hunting Squad, in love with a contracted human would be a disgrace. However, this is no mere human. This is a god.
I raised my head. The final confrontation with the target would be today. Kami-sama was already waiting for her, game console in hand. I readied the Spirit container as the girl approached. It was difficult to refrain from screaming as the conversation started, and I could not hold back a whimper at the kiss.
As I confined the Spirit, silent tears of jealousy leaked from my eyes. I desperately wished, once again, to be in the same position as that human female. It was just not fair! When I returned to Kami-sama, though, I had stopped crying. The mask I wore everyday was back in place.
"Still as cheerful as always, Elsie," he commented.
Yes, and it is all for you, I replied in my mind, For you, I hide under a veil of childishness. If my body cannot compete with Nora and my mind forever loses to Hakua, I will win with my innocence. I love you, Kami-sama, can't you see? How can you conquer all these girls and still be so oblivious to my feelings for you? Why can't you ever see me as anything other than a burden? I love you, Kami-sama!
Outside my mind, I pronounced only two words: "Let's go!"
Was this how Shiori always felt? Why were these simple syllables so hard to say? Go on, open your mouth and say the words! Elsie, you're missing your chance! I shook my head. My body was unable to do what my soul dictated, and I hated myself for that. Every night, I would weep into my pillow and whisper a single phrase over and over again:
"I… I l-love you, Kami-nii-sama!"