AN: So I wrote this and posted it as a songfic forgetting that this is actually against the rules for . I took it down and I've erased the parts that directly quote the song. So now I consider it a song inspired story. I would recommend listening to Fix You by Coldplay while reading the fic.
A little back story which you might pick up in the fic, but basically sometime after the events of Another's Sorrow, Mithian falls in love with Merlin. However, when she tries to act on her feelings Merlin rejects her because of his duty and destiny to Arthur. Which leads to this story.
Also kind of related to a previous fic entitled Failures but it's not necessary to read that one.
On with the fic!
Clouds covered the sky, no rain fell but a thick mist left a heavy feeling in the air which mirrored the heaviness in the hearts of the people and friends of Camelot. Yet with the sea of black that covered the city and the surrounding hills it might as well have been empty with the one person that was missing.
"Where is Merlin?" She did not ask until several days later. She had asked Sir Leon who had been Arthur's right hand man and now was Guinevere's most trusted advisor. The sorrowful look in the man's eyes caused a stab of pain through her heart as she feared the worst. It had not occurred to her, but it would make sense that Merlin would die alongside Arthur.
Leon had glanced to his side where Percival stood, the only two left of Arthur's closest circle. He glanced back at Mithian and saw how her eyes widened and face paled. "Surely he did not…" She managed to get the trembling words out.
Leon shook his head gravely. "He's disappeared. The last we saw of him was near the Lake of Avalon but we have not been able to find him since."
Mithian blinked at this news. "Do you think something has happened to him?" She asked. "Has he been kidnapped? Maybe he is hurt?" Mithian knew she was letting too much of her emotions show but did not care at that moment.
This time Percival stepped forward. "My lady," he said respectfully. "I was the last to see Merlin. He was a broken man, he believes that he has failed Arthur, I do not think he wants to be found." The man put in sadly.
It is my duty to serve and protect Arthur.
The words spoken to Princess Mithian when she last visited were words that would remain in her heart for the rest of her life. They were words that both awed and hurt her, another rejection and this time from someone that she had believed she could love.
Mithian nodded gratefully at the knights for sharing this information as she stepped back to process it. Merlin's whole life had been about Arthur, everything he did was to protect him. It was no wonder he believed he had failed.
I want only to help Arthur in fulfilling his dream of uniting this land.
Mithian remembered when he had spoken those words in explanation for why he couldn't love her as she had grown to love him. She looked around again at all the different kingdoms which had gathered to pay their respects to Arthur. Merlin had succeeded in helping Arthur unite the land as they had both dreamed but had lost his closest friend in the process.
Now Merlin was gone. Somewhere near the Lake of Avalon, the resting place of the great King Arthur, tearing himself down for failing his king. Mithian felt the stabbing in her heart again.
Tears decorated so many faces, there was not a dry eye in the kingdom. Mithian too let the tears fall down her face without abandon, tears for Arthur, and for Merlin. She knew Merlin would have cried as well. Merlin would never be able to replace Arthur as a friend or as a king and he would never be able to forgive himself for not being able to save him.
She raised her head with resolve. She would not let Merlin suffer alone. She would travel to the Lake of Avalon and find him and she would try to make this right.
Several days later, after the ceremonies had ended, she headed out on foot alone, leaving only a note saying to tell her father not to worry and that she would return soon. She arrived on the shores of the Lake of Avalon. She looked up and down but did not see anyone or any trace or hint that there had been anyone around. She would not give up though, her feelings for the clumsy servant had not faded.
She didn't know when it had happened, her falling in love with Merlin. It was hard not to fall in love with the man in one way or another. His obvious dedication to his friends and to Arthur made him easy to befriend, but after he had helped rescue her from Morgana's clutches she had felt her feelings deepen. Merlin might think he could not move on but Mithian was not going to give up on trying to help him do just that.
She wandered around for hours before she saw the light, late at night, a blue orb shining through the trees, she made her way to it and saw it resting overtop of a pale, thin man, sitting cross legged near the water, the gentle waves lapping at his knees.
Mithian approached him slowly, feeling her whole body tremble at the joy of seeing him alive. He did not look up at her but continued to stare out into the water. His cheeks were wet with tears, she did not know how long he had been sitting there.
She got closer suddenly afraid, how could she help to fix a man that was so broken. What could she say or do that could possibly help? How could she be a comfort to him?
Mithian sat down next to him, facing him while he continued to face the water. She lifted a hand and gently cupped his cheek, turning his head gently so that he was looking at her. The look of sorrow in his eyes nearly overwhelmed her and she felt tears spill down her cheeks but refused to look away sending him a look of understanding.
He stared at her, not surprised to see her, hardly reacting at all except for more tears to spill down his cheeks. He suddenly looked like a little child in her eyes. Mithian was at a loss for words but knew it did not matter because words were not what he needed right now.
He leaned into her at the same time that she pulled him close. He buried his head in her shoulder and sobbed as she held him close feeling her own tears sink into his shirt. They sat there for what felt like forever, him mourning, her comforting. She still did not know exactly how she would do it, but she would somehow fix him and help him move on. I will try to fix you.
AN: Hope you liked it, I am toying the idea with writing a prequel to this detailing Merlin's rejection. Please leave a review and let me know how I did or at least how you liked it.