Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha belongs to Seven Arcs and Tsuzuki Masaki.

Green Lantern and all related elements belong to DC Comics.

No, I'm not making any money out of writing this.

A million thanks to Shadow Crystal Mage for allowing me parody his brilliant fan creation. Fight on, buddy!


WHAT IF OVERMASTER HAD WRITTEN TAKAMACHI NANOHA OF 2814?


Chapter One and Hopefully Last: Unashamedly Derivative and Unoriginal.


They had no idea the evil they had just unleashed. Neither they had any chance to escape it.

The space faring explorers could not leave the planetoid where they had stumbled into those accursed ruins in time. The seals placed on the yellow emerging giant burst open and flew into shattered sparkles as the ancient monstrosity rose with a primal scream that pierced the purest fear into their hearts before their deaths.

One by one, the being snared them and consumed them, feeding on their panic before suctioning their flesh and blood, leaving them dry husks tossed into the immensity of space.

Then, as the planetoid where it had once been trapped exploded, the giant rocketed through the outskirts of the sector. It didn't take it long to run into the nearest Green Lantern.

Abin Sur detected it only moments before the violent impact.

(Here, we see the first major divergence from the starting line. Instead of sticking to a single source canon for the DC side of the crossover, as the clearly superior original did, a lesser author mixes and matches wildly diverging elements from several canons, creating an aberrant patchwork monster. And using the Ryan Reynolds movie! What a lack of any shame!)


Takamachi Nanoha was having a perfectly regular morning. Waking up, disentangling herself from between Shiro and Momoko's sweaty, nude and slumbering bodies, taking a bath, brushing her teeth, dressing up, eating breakfast while admiring how her family made out over the breakfast table, going to school, listening to Negi-sensei's lessons while wondering what everyone saw in him, heading back home, listening to mysterious voices in her head...

(There, IANCE, are you happy? Are you happy now? The poor, miserable sad excuse for an author writing this tries to be strong, but this keeps happening. Compare this abomination with the wholesome yet picaresque original slant, and weep. Weep for this man! Also, obligatory Negima cameo).


"Take the ring," the dying humanoid urged her, his voice shaken by the last few fits of bloody cough, unwittingly splattering tiny droplets of wine-tinted gore on Nanoha's cheeks. "Take the ring, and through it, contact the Guardians. They will know what to do. They will guide you. Tell them... Parallax is coming..."

There was no time left to look for an older, more experienced wielder. Had he crashed just a few kilometers Northwest, he might have taken his chances with that human named Saotome his preliminary readings had caught on while he fell through the planet's atmosphere. Apparently, he at least had willpower to spare... and courage... even if, from the last few fragments of data the ring was picking up even now, he also lacked intelligence, common sense, and discipline. Also, no doubt he would attract too many likely wielders for red, yellow and even orange rings. That 'Nabiki' person sure seemed unsavory.

(The author continues shaming himself through gratuitous, pointless usage of gore for shock factor, not to mention yet another cameo so quickly. Also, notice how he tries to sound objective by shamelessly slamming a character he actually likes, because of course he isn't the kind to Suefy anyone! On the other hand, he at least fares better here than most Nabiki fans. Dudes can sure delude themselves)


"Who are you?" the tall humanoid in blue and red floated down from above, yellow sunlight framing his mighty frame like that of a divine being in slow descent. "And what have you come to do here?"

Interesting. His ring's readings designated this being as a Kryptonian, despite the planet's complete destruction all those years ago. Certainly the last species he had expected to find in this backwater, seedy small planet.

It would be an interesting conundrum to look into under normal circumstances, but Sinestro was in a real hurry right now, so he simply hit first and swatted the Kryptonian across the continent. That should delay him, assuming the data on his enhanced physical capacities was true, at least until Sinestro located Abin Sur's ring, and the important information it held.

(This is as close as you'll ever see to a nicely written action sequence in an OM production. Ain't it sad?)


"Why— Why are you doing this?" the small creature now wielding Abin Sur's ring still stood, incredibly, her ground against him, beaten as she was. A truly incredible being, despite her youth and frailty. He almost felt tempted to spare her. "What have we done to you?"

How could he explain himself, his complex motivations and goals, to such a primitive mind, such a childlike intellect? And what point was there on it? Only demented transgressors weakly hoping to justify themselves went on motive rants while facing justice (he should know well; he had arrested thousands of those). Sinestro believed on letting his actions talk instead of his words. Everyone across the universe would understand once they could see the perfect peace, the sublime and eternal stability his Empire of Fear would bring forth. He would succeed where the Guardians, who had grown myopic, fat and stupid, had failed. For too long, he had served them, witnessing too many atrocities, until he understood the beasts that ravaged the galaxies would only understand through complete subjugation. And there was no better tool for that than Fear.

For that, he would have to betray the dream he once had shared with poor, shortsighted Abin Sur, but for channeling the power of the yellow energy, he would do anything. Of course, the Guardians just couldn't know about it yet, so the successor had to be—

"Why aren't you telling me?" the child said. "I'll make you tell me!"

And she walloped him into the ocean.

Well. This probably would take a while.

(Blah blah blah blah, wordy clichéd villain justifications, because villains are easier to write than actual heroes we can look up to, apparently. Or maybe this creep can identify himself more easily with the bad guys of the piece! How disgusting!)


For the second time since they realized the Manhunters might not have been such a hot idea (the first one was when they allowed G'Nort in), the Guardians were having second thoughts on an administrative matter. Maybe she was just a bit too young. Certainly the Kryptonian seemed to think so, giving them significant looks over 2814's– the new 2814's– head. Given the fact she wasn't that much taller than they were, it wasn't all that difficult.

Well, she'd been chosen by her ring, after all, and highly advanced, perfected over several billion years search software can't be wrong now, can it? Besides, they'd be training her on Oa, helping her get used to her new station instead of just recklessly sending her into the field. And given the state of affairs on earth, they'd been considering an increased Green Lantern presence there anyway. The child gave them a suitable excuse.

And if the Kryptonian still had objections, well, he could take care of them himself, couldn't he? Although given her victory over Sinestro, they didn't see how there could be any doubt of her suitability.

"We welcome you to the Green Lantern Corp, Takamachi Nanoha of Earth, Lantern 2814.1."

(When running out of inspiration, energy and time, a hack will steal paragraphs from the original material, tweak them a bit, call it a 'homage' and beg for the original author's authorization. Better men like Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning often will magnanimously nod and play along to the hack's requests, knowing it can't detract from their glory. This is, perhaps, the sole moving thing about this ugly affair, not to mention the sole well written piece of this fanfic, crude minimalistic alterations aside)

(This segment was authorized by Shadow Crystal Mage, by the way!)


Several Days Later:

"My name is Yuuno Scrya, and— Holy Mother of God, why have you been doing back there?-!"

"Um, you mean this? We're having some family bonding, of course. Don't you ever...?"

"Aren't those your parents and siblings?-!"

"Well, Miyuki-neechan is actually our cousin, but Mom and Dad adopted her. That makes it somewhat... better, doesn't it?"

Yuuno picked the red gem back up, turned around angrily, and stomped out of the house to go offer the job to Arisa instead. Or Alissa. You know the girl. I can't make my mind on a single spelling, and by golly all these fansubs and pirate scans contradict each other.

(— We won't insist on THAT self-explaining fatal flaw, but allow us to show you how OM avoids giving a single character more than one source of powers. This might be seen at first as a good way to prevent having Mary Sues, until you realize how, by giving everyone and their ferret a different power, OM has cluttered the story with seventy different guys with their own disparate plotlines to juggle until your head melts. At least it means Akira and Nodoka will never Pactio with Negi— Oh shit, I just jinxed it, didn't I?)

(Oh well, at least the obligatory Joker cameo was absent this time)


NEXT TIME: Ah-ha-ha-ha, forget about it.