Tears and a Promise
A few hours later, I awoke from a deep sleep. As my eyes fluttered open, it took me a minute to remember where I was and the events that had occurred earlier. I was on my back and I felt something heavy draped across my stomach. When my eyes adjusted to the dark, I realized I was still in Edward's bed with him next to me with his one arm over me, holding me down. I turned my head and saw he was soundly sleeping on his side, facing me.
I needed to pee.
I gently lifted his arm from my body and he let out a deep sigh. He was still asleep. I crept out of bed and quietly walked to the bathroom. When I came back to the bedroom, I was suddenly faced with so many emotions.
I had lost my virginity after 21 years to a man that I had only just met that day. I was now standing naked in his bedroom looking down at him as he slept. He was beautiful and he had treated me better than I ever could have imagined, but where could this go? What if tonight was all he wanted from me and now that he had me, what more could he want?
What if this was all he wanted?
My stomach sank and I felt tears start to form in my eyes. I felt around on the floor until I found my underwear and slipped my bra and panties back on. I went out to the living room and by now my tears were streaming down my face. I walked over to the couch and found my jeans and sweater that were in a pile with Edward's clothes on the floor. I put my clothes on, looking around for my shoes.
I found one shoe.
I couldn't find the other one; he must have tossed it somewhere. As I wiped at my face, I contemplated leaving with just my one shoe, but I knew I could not walk into the streets of New York with one high heel on.
I jumped when I heard his voice coming from the hallway. I whipped around with tears streaming down my face as I held one shoe to see him standing there in only his boxer briefs.
"I can't find my shoe."
"Why are you leaving?" he asked as he walked over to me. As he got closer, he saw my tears. "Hey, why are you crying? What's wrong, Bella?"
"I have to go. I need to find my shoe," I sobbed. "I have to go."
"But why? I mean, you were just going to leave in the middle of the night? Are you hurt, did I do something?"
"No, Edward, I'm not hurt and you didn't do anything, I just need to go," I said back. "Damn it, where is my shoe?"
He took a step back from me and I saw him move over to the side of the couch. He slowly bent down and when he stood back up he was holding my shoe.
"Here," he said, handing it to me.
I wiped at my face again and took my shoe from him. I put it on my foot and turned to grab my purse. My back was to him—I could not bear to look at him—and so I started to walk towards the door.
"Bella, wait!" he shouted.
The next thing I felt was his hand on my elbow, stopping me in my tracks.
"Edward, please," I begged. "I have to go."
"No," he said. He yanked me around to face him. I put my head down as my tears flowed, but he lifted my chin, making me look at him. "Look at me."
"I can't," I sobbed.
"Please, Bella, look at me."
I slowly looked up at him and was shocked when he touched my wet face and wiped my tears away with his thumb.
"Talk to me please, why are you running away?"
"I just…" I paused. I wiped my face with the sleeve of my sweater, collecting all my tears. "I want to be the first to walk away."
"Why? You thought I was going to walk away?"
"No, Bella, I'm right here."
"Yeah but for how long?" I took a deep breath and let it out. "Edward, what happened here tonight was… unexpected… for me especially. I mean we just met and then… this happened. Let's just call it what it is…a one-night stand. I'll go back to my life, you go back to your life… and that's it."
"So you think sex is all tonight was? And you think that now that I've had you, I'm not going to want anything more from you?" He sighed and then dropped my arm. "Give me a little more credit, Bella."
"Well, wasn't it just that?"
"Bella, you couldn't be more off base." He stepped away from me and turned his back to me. After a few seconds, he turned around to face me. "Before today, yes it's true, I have had my share of fun since I've lived in the city. Between modeling for art class and tending bar, there are a lot of opportunities. I'm not even sure I've ever even had a real relationship since I've lived here. I guess I've been going through the motions and not really caring about anything else except finishing grad school.
"When I woke up this morning I dreaded the first day of a new art class. The first day was always the hardest. New faces to get used to drawing me naked… I always hated the first day. But then I met you and my day started to look up. After we talked and you agreed to come out to see me tonight, I was actually excited. When I saw you in the bar as I was on stage singing, I was happy to see you.
"Bella, when I asked you to come up here, I didn't ask because I was expecting anything from you. I didn't expect what happened here tonight to happen. If nothing happened that would have been okay with me. I just wanted spend time with you. But when we kissed and then you told me you didn't want to wait, I knew I couldn't resist you because you are so fucking beautiful and I wanted you."
I watched as he yanked on his hair, taking in a large breath. He blew out out and took a step closer to me. I stood still in my place.
"Afterward, I knew it wasn't just sex. I've had just sex before and, trust me, the feelings are very different afterward. I wanted to hold you all night; I wanted you with me. When I woke up and saw you were gone, my heart sank. I don't even have your number. When I walked out here and saw you were still here, I was relieved, but then you were leaving."
As I listened to him, I felt more tears in the corners of my eyes but fought them back as best I could. I gasped when he took another step closer to me and grabbed my hand in his.
"Bella, I had no intention of leaving or not wanting to see you again. I know this was maybe a little unconventional but it didn't make me want to leave, it made me want to stay for the first time in my life."
He touched my face with his hands and ran his thumb over my quivering lips.
"I know you must be scared. I know maybe this was not how you envisioned your first time to be, but I don't want you to go, Bella. I want you to stay… with me."
I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. He pulled me into his arms and held me tight to his body, wrapping his arms completely around me.
As I held onto him, I nodded, and then he picked me up in his arms bridal style and walked me back to the bedroom. I had my arms wrapped around his neck and my head nestled into his neck as he walked us back.
Once in the bedroom, he gently sat me down on the edge of the bed and knelt down beside me. Without saying a word, he removed my shoes and then lifted my sweater over my head. I let him undress me and once he was done he removed his boxers and joined me on the bed, pulling the blanket over us.
He was lying behind me, my back against his chest as his hand lightly traveled down my arm and he placed soft kisses on my neck. I held his arm close to me as I felt his warm breath on my neck.
"This is how I wanted to wake up," he breathed. "I wanted to be holding you in my arms against my body."
I turned my body so I was now on my back looking up at him. I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him down to me so I could kiss him; he accepted my invite and kissed me back. Our tongues met and danced together, making us both moan as our kiss deepened. He broke the kiss to reach to over to the nightstand, but I stopped him.
"Are you sure," he asked. "I'm mean I'm clean…"
"I'm sure and I'm covered. I trust you."
With that he moved so he was not on top of me; he settled between my legs and then kissed me with so much passion it made me cry out. He reached down and guided himself inside me. I gasped from the contact and wrapped my legs around him, pulling him deeper inside.
We cried out as our bodies moved together with no barrier between us. His thrusts were deep and strong, but gentle all the same. He leaned down and took one of my hardened nipples in his mouth and sucked on it as his hand caressed my other breast.
"Edward… oh god," I cried when I felt my body start to spasm.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him, holding me to his body as he thrust into me over and over. I screamed out when my orgasm took over my control and he soon followed with his own release. I felt his warmth inside me as his body convulsed over me.
Afterward, I was lying on Edward's chest as his hand rubbed my back. I finally felt like I was ready to explain myself.
"I was scared," I said.
"I know you were, but what I'm not sure on is why?" he asked.
I sat up on the bed as I tucked the sheet under my arms. I turned myself so I could look at him as he lay on his back. The only light in the room was from the moonlight, but I could still see his jade eyes.
"After my parents divorced, I found myself disconnecting from people. Sad, I know, at ten years old, but even at that age I questioned love and people sticking around. My mom took me from my dad and moved us to Arizona. I was always mad at her for that. Then when I was 15, she married Phil. At the time he was a minor league baseball player so he traveled a lot. My mom wanted to go with him, so once again she turned my life upside down and pushed me off on my dad after seven years.
"When I got to Forks, my relationship with my dad was a little strained but we worked through it and are pretty close now. I met some friends and met Jake, but I wasn't happy in Forks and I knew I had to bust my ass in my school if I ever had any hope of getting out and living my own life so no one else could make decisions for me."
"Jake was the boyfriend you spoke of in high school?" he asked.
"Yeah, he was a great guy… at least in the beginning," I replied. "We met when I first got to Forks; our fathers were good friends. Jake and I started dating senior year and it was great. We were inseparable like any other young couple that thought they were in love. After some time… Jake wanted to take our relationship to the next level… and I just wasn't ready.
"He was fine with it for a while, but then he started to get impatient with me. The summer after graduation, before he was going away to college, he pressured me a lot. One night, we were at my house alone—our fathers had gone fishing for the weekend—and we were making out and I was so close to giving in, but something just didn't feel right to me… so I stopped him. He got so mad at me, angrier than I had ever seen him, and it scared the fuck out of me.
"He basically told me we were finished unless I gave him sex. I told him I wasn't ready and he stormed out of the house. He left. In the days that followed he didn't speak to me, he didn't return my calls, nothing. And then he left town, just like that. He went to school out of state and I stayed to do two years of community college. In those two years I only saw him once and he acted like I wasn't even there.
"So after that, sex and dating just became something I wasn't interested in. I poured all my attention into school so I could get out of town and start over. And then it happened. I was finally at NYU.
"When I saw you today, for the first time something happened inside of me that I'm not sure ever has. I felt… dizzy. I was nervous and completely self-conscious because, in that second, I cared about what you thought of me. A complete stranger at that. When I was drawing you naked, my mind was racing. I was imagining being with you, giving myself to you after waiting for so long. But then I thought there was no way you would go for me. I'm so… plain."
"Bella, you are not plain," he protested. "Far from plain; sexy yes, plain no."
I smiled back at him.
"When you found me after class and asked me out, I was so surprised but for the first time I felt strong enough to say yes. And when we came up here and did what we did, I wanted it. I wanted you, but afterwards I just got scared that that's all it was. Sex and nothing more. Everyone else had walked out on me and I couldn't take it if you did, too, so I had to leave first."
He sat up in bed and pulled me a little closer to him, taking my hand in his.
"I'm not going anywhere, Bella," he vowed. "I know this is kind of crazy, this being our first meeting, first sort of date, and first time together all in one night, but this feels right to me—you feel right—and I'm not going anywhere. I need for you to believe that. Not everyone leaves."
"I believe you, Edward. Somehow I do. In my heart, this feels right to me, too," I said and then I placed a soft kiss on his lips.
He pushed me down on the bed and climbed on top of me. He kissed me gently and then looked in my eyes as he brushed a piece of hair off my face.
"No one leaves," he said.
"No one leaves," I repeated.
And we truly meant that. Somehow, having to take a prerequisite art class turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
A/N: And that's a wrap! *Sniff* I have loved writing this story so much even though it was very short, it was still very fun. I am stating to write it from Edward's POV as many of you have requested so these two will be back. Not sure when, I'd like to have it all written before I post. But it will be done.
Thank you all so much for your kind reviews on this, I have loved reading all of them! For those of you who are reading The Friend Line, the next update will be very soon.
Thank you once again to my beta. Chandrakanta for her time on making this one pretty for you all to read. *Hugs* to her!
Okay, well another one complete. Tell me your thoughts on the conclusion of this hard and fast story!