Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything belongs to Joss Whedon, etc.

Summary:  Buffy's POV on everything that occurred between Spike and Dawn and what's happened in her life since then.  Sequel to Candy Sweet Kisses.

Authors Note:  When I reposted The Real Reason as My Love because of the new no NC-17 rule I got some reviews that weren't great but that didn't bother me.  I expect that not everyone is going to like a story.  What I don't like are flames.  If you don't like it, tell me what you don't like, be honest.  Don't just sit there and write that it's the worst story you've ever read without telling me why.  I have no respect for flamers.  Originally I wasn't going to post the third part to the story but I decided that it didn't matter what they said.  All that mattered was that when I posted the first time the stories got nothing but good reviews.  So this is for everyone who liked The Real Reason/My Love and Candy Sweet Kisses.  Read and Review…constructively.  No Flames!

Remembrance

By

Anessa Ramsey

August 13, 2007

         I don't know how I missed it all that time.  Was I that self-absorbed?  I must have been.  I never noticed the way she looked at him.  I certainly never saw the way that he looked at her in return.  I can still see in my mind how she looked the night before she ran away.  Her hair was wildly tangled and she was bleeding from the wound on her neck.  It would scar.  I hated that.  She was marked.

         They didn't know I was there until it was too late.  I'd seen them.  When I first came into the crypt it was with the intent of actually having a conversation with Spike.  I wanted his help with Dawn.  It was so hard to communicate with her but he seemed to have no problem with it.  I never expected to see them together.  I was so horrified that I couldn't move.  At the time I convinced myself it had everything to do with the fact that my eighteen-year-old sister was in bed with Spike.  It had nothing to do with jealousy…or so I told myself.  I heard him whisper that he loved her.  She returned the sentiment.  He loved her!  He wasn't supposed to love her.  It was supposed to be me.  He said that it was me he wanted.  I should have known with Spike nothing is as it seems.  He told me he wanted me so no one would realize that he actually wanted her.  I was jealous of my own sister.

         I watched for several seconds, trying to process what I was seeing.  Then I pounced.  I watched as Dawn bolted up, clutching the sheet to her chest.  Her lips were swollen from kissing him and she was flushed.  Her hair was a mass of twisted curls.  She looked loved.  I remembered that.  I think what bothered me the most was that it had been a long time since I looked or felt loved like that.

         Spike had his arms wrapped around her protectively.  I think he knew that I would freak out if provoked even in the slightest.  After that everything is a blur.  I have a fuzzy memory of throwing Dawn's clothes at her and ordering her to dress.  I know that I dragged her out of the crypt.

         Apparently we said a lot of things that neither of us really meant, but I was so angry that she was involved with a vampire it clouded my judgment.  I never thought about the fact that I had been involved with one myself when I was younger than she was.  I think it just irked me that Spike had played me.  Played all of us.  And she obviously knew the whole time.

         That night ended with bitter words and slamming doors.  I figured we'd work it out the next day.  It didn't happen.  She went back to Spike's that night.  I should have removed that trellis years ago.  I haven't seen either of them since.  She ran away with him.  For all I know they're living it up in Europe somewhere.  She never writes.  I think that she's afraid I'll try to track her down.  I wouldn't.  I know better now. 

         After her departure, Giles told me something that I am determined to remember forever.  You can't help whom you fall in love with. That certainly applies to Dawn. 

         It's been three years since I've seen my baby sis.  I got married two years ago.  I wanted her there but even Angel wasn't able to track Spike down.  I married a wonderful man named Michael Morgan.  I married Faith's brother.  I didn't even know she had a brother until he showed up on my doorstep with a letter from her.  If anyone told me that a few years ago I'd be her sister-in-law I would have punched whoever said it. 

         He's a wonderful man and Faith is out of prison working at being a good person.  We've got a daughter.  She's a year old and her name is Aurora Selene Morgan.  It's not exactly a normal name, but none of us are exactly normal. 

         I think about Dawn all the time.  I wonder where she is, what she's been doing.  I want to know if she went to college or if she works.  I want to know if she's still with Spike or if she isn't and is too afraid to come home.  I know that feeling.  I felt the same way when I ran away.

         You know, when Michael bought me this journal I thought he was crazy.  I hated writing.  Now I have to admit that I don't know what I'd do without it.  It's the only place I can actually remember Dawn.  Uh-oh.  Aurora's crying.  She's probably hungry.  It's time to go.  So long, for now.  Wherever you are Dawn, I miss you. ~ End of Entry ~

Buffy stood, rocking Aurora in her arms.  Aurora.  Dawn.  They both meant the same thing.  It was her favorite time of day.  Sometimes when the sun rose she swore that she could see Dawn's face in the sky.  She placed the baby gently back in her crib once she stopped crying and was fed properly.  Michael would be home soon and she wanted to have a nice relaxing evening with him.  She was about to start preparing dinner when the doorbell rang. 

         She didn't bother to look to see who was there, just swung open the door.  "Hello," she said, looking up.  Time seemed to stop.  Dawn was standing there regally, Spike next to her, an arm thrown over Dawn's shoulder.  At first she thought she was hallucinating, then Dawn spoke. 

         "Hello, Buffy."

         She couldn't speak.  All she could do was stare.  Dawn was back …and Spike was standing in the sun.