80 Things the Doctor Doesn't Understand
The Doctor knows a lot of stuff. But there's some things that he will never understand.
1. The appeal of pears
2. How humans can live in a given place for more than an hour
5. Doctor!whump fics
6. Fanfiction in general, really
7. Captain Jack Harkness
8. What Sarah Jane and Rose Tyler were laughing about that one time
10. Why the Daleks won't stay dead
11. What the fox says
12. How River Song got him to tell her his name
13. Then again, she DID make him
14. Why nobody thinks fezzes are cool
15. Or bow ties
16. Or Stetsons, or bunkbeds, or glasses
17. Honestly, he doesn't really understand anyone else's perception of "cool"
19. Humans in general
20. How Daleks build things
21. Seriously, they have no hands
22. How things end up in his pockets
23. MasterxTen shippers
24. ElevenxTen shippers
25. RoryxEleven shippers
26. Okay, they DID kiss that one time, but...
27. Shippers in general
28. Except for RosexTen shippers, those are okay
29. And RiverxEleven, that's fine too
30. Why humans need to sleep so much
31. If humans need to sleep so much, why they spend so much time on the Internet
32. The Internet
33. Strax's inability to differentiate between females and males
34. How to say "I love you" easily
35. Without disappearing into a parallel universe
36. Sorry about that one, really, sorry
37. The phrase, "bingle bongle dingle dangle lickitee too lickitee tah ping pong lippee toppee too tah"
38. Miley Cyrus
39. Abstract art
40. How to talk to Rose Tyler's mother
41. Why he got kicked out of the Weakest Link
42. All he did was correct an answer or two!
43. Or ten
44. Or all of them
45. Why that little kid ran up to him in his ninth regeneration and called him "emo"
46. Why oranges have to share their name with their color
47. Honestly, it's not like they call a banana a "yellow"
48. Or a strawberry a "red"
49. Or a pear a "disgusting"
50. Wait, that's not a color.
51. Why he ever thought sticky celery would be a good idea
52. He learned his lesson when he got attacked by a mean, hungry goat
53. Yo mamma jokes
54. Why Rose didn't get his joke about the chef being a Thyme Lord
55. Or the one about Royals, by Time Lorde
55. Chewing gum
56. Seriously, you put it in your mouth for a few minutes, then spit it out?
57. Does it even make you less hungry?
58. Why everyone he knows seems to have the last name "jones" or "smith"
59. Or named after some part of nature
60. American football
61. People with pet fish; fish are incredibly rude
62. People who get grumpier when they get older
63. American modern pop culture
65. What the blue stabilizers do*
66. Why nobody else seems to mind Jack Harkness's incessant flirting
67. Seriously, once he hit on a ROBOT woman
68. How people keep managing to make the T.A.R.D.I.S telephone box part ring, it's not supposed to do that!
69. Why humans aren't built with off-switches
70. Why they don't sell fezzes in more shops
71. Why people get confused when he explains simple** things
73. Actually, those are rather cool... They're both a pillow... AND a fluffy creature!
74. Why his companions keep asking him if the T.A.R.D.I.S has some sort of thing called why fi
75. How Donna got her hair to be so red
76. And Amy
77. WHY IS HE STILL NOT GINGER?!
78. Why a partridge would want to be in a pear tree
79. Why his eighth regeneration never seemed to go on many adventures
Hmm... That was a lot harder than I thought it'd be.
*They're really just blue boring-ers, in my opinion.
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- Impossible Oswin