I Win

An Almost Human fanfiction : just playing with John and Dorian. Who wouldn't? I guess this is not exactly canon, since I put together bits and pieces from the previews. It will have to do until the premiere.


John Kennex glanced around, grabbed a file, stuck it in a drawer, and walked away casually to the elevator down the hall. In a few strides, Dorian was beside him. "Why are you leaving, our shift is not over yet. You didn't show me our new case."

The detective winced, obviously resisting the urge to hit him in the face. He punched the call button instead. A resounding thump echoed deep below inside the shaft. "Okay. For the last time, there is no 'our case'."

"You mean you don't want me to investigate with you?" Dorian asked. He stepped closer, now standing in his way.

"Yes. I mean no! There's no ongoing investi…" The detective looked around, gave an awkward nod to another officer who frowned at the tandem quizzically. Kennex hunched over. "Look, it's personal, okay?" he said in a low voice. "Why don't you go and play chess with your synthetic buddies or ask Rudy for an oil change, tune out for an hour?"

The android stared, stone-faced, blue lights blinking under his skin.

"Dorian, you're not helping right now. I don't need the Department on my back. Just give me some alone time. Can you do that?"

Dorian looked puzzled. "Why?"

"Listen, you know what? Forget… erase this… conversation," Kennex sighed.

"We never talk about anything," Dorian stated matter-of-factly. "Hence my question. Where are you going. Alone."

Kennex practically groaned in frustration. "Of course I didn't tell you because it's none of your damn business! What it is that you don't understand? Man, you really have no boundaries. Look, this morning I leave you with my computer, and you use it like it was a pinball..."

"Apt comparison. You must know I have no hidden agenda. I merely sat at your office station in order to blend in. Humans seem to feel uncomfortable when I just stand idle in the bullpen. I assume you do realise I can access any computer remotely. I downloaded your personal information when I was assigned to you. It is part of the official protocol, and part of my general routine. As a general rule, it cannot be avoided."

"Oh god! I wish I could press your off button, and shove you in a broom closet until I get back. Or what about for ever! When I say it's personal, I mean off limit. Am I clear?"

"I gathered that much, man," Dorian shrugged. "But…"

"So what's your problem? Can't you just back off?" Kennex glared and punched the call button again. "Just shut it, and leave me alone, for crying out loud!"

"You know, you never asked me not to come along. Did I do something to upset you, detective? Still, I'm worried you don't want my help."

"That would imply that you care enough to be concerned," Kennex snapped. "No, I don't need your help." The elevator doors slid open. He shoved Dorian aside and barged in. "And not to disappoint, my world doesn't revolve around you." He shook his head to emphasize his point. "I'm riding alone."

When he reached street level, his anger had not yet simmered down. He managed to stay composed to avoid any attention. Pushing his way through the impersonal lobby, he jostled around a few MXs in the process.

"Does that make you feel better, man?" Dorian's reproachful tone stopped him dead in his tracks. The android kept on walking. He eventually turned around. "Captain Maldonado made it very clear that you aren't to ride alone."

"For God's sake! I'm not taking the car!"

"It was a joke, detective." Dorian purposely glanced him over. "You're mad at me."

"I'm not mad, I'm late."

"Thank you for clarifying it for me, John. Does that mean that you're meeting with someone?"

"You… " Kennex rolled his eyes, his hands clenching into a fist.

"Who is she?" the android asked bluntly. "Do I know her?"

"I'm not meeting a woman."

"Should you meet a man, you wouldn't mind me knowing. Is she a secret lover? Oh, man, is she a sexbot?"

"That's enough! Piss off, arrogant piece of crap, before I terminate you!"

"You wouldn't do that, I think you kind of like me," Dorian puffed up. "Detective Stahl wrote a very interesting essay when she graduated from the Academy."

Kennex made a show at rolling his eyes. "What has it got to do with anything?"

"Profiling a Police Hero: John Kennex, a case study." Dorian continued. "I can see you were not aware of that essay. And I concur. She is the perfect mate."

"That's enough!"

Dorian poked him in the chest. "Your secret is safe with me."

"There's no secret," Kennex hang his head. He sighed, acutely aware his ears were slowly turning pink.

"You're the alpha male obviously. She does have a crush on you," Dorian added, "which goes into Mating Attraction 101 category."

"Are you finished, now?"

"But in my opinion, you're probably moving too fast."

"Ha! You're the expert now? I swear I will tear you apart!"

Dorian shrugged. "I'm just saying, man. I'd rather stick to small talk instead of boring you with statistics, but it wouldn't be the first time the battered hero falls for his brilliant slash gorgeous assistant. On the bright side, I win," he beamed. "I'm your black sidekick, what could possibly be more cliché? Have a nice lunch with detective Stahl, John."