A/N: I don't own any of The Big Bang Theory characters and I am not making any money from writing this.
Please forgive any minor spelling or grammar mistakes, English is not my native language.
This stoty takes place post episode "The Vegas Renormalization". It is also not a slash story, although it totally feels like one.
After spending the night with Mikayla, Howard didn't come out the hotel room. It was time to go home and Raj decided to go check on him.
He walked toward Howard's hotel room and knocked on it's door. Howard didn't answer. Eventually, Raj decided to walk in his room. And he did (luckily, doors were unlocked), closing the door behind.
Howard was lying on his bed, flat on his back, staring at the ceiling.
Howard glared at him, then continued staring at the ceiling. Look in Howard's big green eyes immediately told Raj that something is wrong.
"Is... is something wrong?", he said, slowly walking toward Howard's bed. Howard didn't answer.
"You can tell me everything", Raj assured him, sitting on the chair near Howard's bed.
Howard turned his head toward Raj, mixture of rage and sadness evident in his eyes.
"What is wrong? You want to know what is wrong?"
Raj swallowed hard, stunned by Howard's outburst.
"Let's see... I'm twenty seven, still live with my mother, my girlfriend just broke up with me, I live with my mother and I sleep with prostitues. That's what is wrong!"
Raj ran his hand through his hair, trying to think of an appropriate comeback.
"Well, you did spend a night with a really hot..."
"That's no't enough!", Howard snapped. "I want more than sleeping with girls that I will never see again! With girls who don't find me so hineous that they need money to sleep with me! I want to be with amazing girl and not be afraid that she will be gone when I wake up! I want to be with woman and not be afraid that I will say something wrong and scare her away! I want a girlfriend who loves me for who I am. Who enjoys sleeping with me or at least enjoys some type of physical contact I can give her, no matter how small! Is that too much to ask?"
He sighed, suddenly crushed by the thought how pathetic that must have sound. He lay down on the bed and took a deep breath. His eyes met Raj's.
"You know", Howard said, "Greek mythology says that people originally had four eyes, four ears, two noses, four arms and two legs. But Zeus was afraid that they may become more powerful than him, and so he cut all the people on half, abecomes started to look like the way they look now. ."
Raj felt cold sweat rolling down his palms while he was trying hard to think of a good reply on what Howard just said. Eventually, he decided to say first thing that was on his mind.
"Well, that's disturbing."
Howard gave him a look.
"Raj, the whole point of that mythology is that every human being feels incomplete his or hers whole life till he or she finds his or hers... other half. Soul mate." He took a deep breath. "And where is my soulmate, Raj?"
Raj took a deep breath and ran his hands down to his knees.
"Look, dude", he said, "if Leslie broke up with you, she obviously isn't your soul mate. I won't say that you shouldn't be sad because of what she did. You have every right to. But what you by no means shouldn't do is to think that you will never find a right girl because you broke up with someone." He took a deep breath and rubbed his forehead. "I won't try to make this a relogious thing, because we are both very different when it comes to that. But I truly believe, and I believe that every human does, at least secretly, that there is something in this world, some force or law of nature, so to speak, something that makes sure that every person who deserves to find his or hers soul mate, will find him or her someday. And if anyone deserves that, I know that you do." Raj bit his lower lip and thought for a moment before continuing. "Howard... when we first met, I was knew in this country, confused... and, well, scared. And then I met you. You accepted me the way I am, helped me find my way, and became my best friend. I will never forget that. And I know that deed will pay back to you, eventually."
Howard sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
"That's not what Penny would say", he commented. "I can actually see her, right now, making jokes about..."
Raj felt rage burning inside him, like he felt every time when that failed actress would dare to offend his best friend, the nicest person he ever met. If only he could talk to women...
"Penny", Raj cuted him off, "Penny is shallow, and frustrated, and, well, confused. She can't see beyond physical, or, even worse, can but thinks it doesn't matter. She thins that people whom she doesn't find appealing don't deserve not only hers attention, but anyone's attention, so she is putting them down in order to proove her point. Her stupid, untrue and illogical point. She likes putting people down because she is afraid that they would see what sad shallow person she is. So don't think about Penny. She doesn't deserve your attention.."
"And Leonard still loves her."
"I know. We all know, even Sheldon, that he is head over heels in love with her, although they are not together anymore. But maybe he will help her grow and become a better person. We'll see."
For the first time in hours, Howard smiled. Suddenly, he started thinking that his problems aren't so terrible after all. His girlfriend dumped him, so what? He is young and there are still plenty of fish in the sea. Also, who cares what Penny thinks or says? By doing so, she is just prooving how shallow and judgemental she can be. Pretty pathetic, when you think about it. He actually started feeling sorry for her.
He lives with his mother-so what? That's a woman who gave birth to him, who raised him. He is better than most of young people these days, who see their parents once a year, at most.
"I'm sorry, Raj. I over-reacted." He gave Raj warm, friendly look. "Thanks for being there for me."
"It's OK", Raj smiled, then tapped Howard's left shoulder. "And you're welcome." He stopd up. "Come on, now. It's time to pack and go back home."