Big Apology: I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while! I lost this file and now I've found it

again. I hope I haven't lost any readers. Now, the Fic as I have originally written it:

Link and Navi's Excellent Adventure

Note to Reader: Wow! This keyboard is dusty! And that's not just a lame joke that says I haven't

been on in a while. It really is dusty! Now, to many of your delights, I've decided to update my

fic before I had to dig it out of an ancient Egyptian tomb. Sounds fun, eh? The good news: Apple

Kid and I thought of many many good jokes to use. Bad news: Neither of us remember any of them,

except my favorite.


Chapter 17

Dilapidated Armadillo or

Attack of the Random People Who Wanted to be in the Fic!

Narrator: Okay, the title is mostly irrelevant, but when has that ever stopped the Almighy Author?

Anyhoo... Chapter 16 brought our "hero" to the Point of No Return. Actually, we haven't reached it

yet, but that's where the pawn shops are to be located simply because. Now, Link has a long trip to



(Link sees a sign.)

Link: The Point of No Return... sounds welcoming.

Note to Reader: When did he get that far? I have to update this fic more if he jumps ahead like


Disembodied voice that sounds remotely like Navi's (hereafter "Navi's Voice"): Hey!Look!Listen!

Link: Crap.

Navi's Voice: I have decided that I can annoy you better when I'm disembodied!

(Link grabs his hat.)

Link: You're not disembodied...

Navi's Voice: You can't see me, can you?

(Link reaches into his hat and pulls out a rabbit.)

Link: Oops

(Link reaches in and grabs Navi.)

Navi: Crap.

Link: Funny, I said the same thing.

Navi: Well, shouldn't you be going to the pawn shop?

Link: Oh yea!

(Link sets off. North, if you must know.)

Link: I think we're going in circles!

(Dekustar the Mad Author pops up. [I forgot people want to be in this pitiful piece of garbage we call a fic!])

Dekustar the Mad Author: Welcome to Dekustar the Mad Author's Guided Pawn Shop Tours. I am here, under the orders

of the Almighty Author and my own desires, to guide you through the Point of No Returns to get your Medallions back.

I hope you have money.

Link: Don't worry, that pirate person gave me 1 billion rupees. Here...

(Link takes out his wallet and finds it empty.)

Link: Crap! What happened to them?

(All characters, disembodied voices, eminent bodies, people who wanted to be in the fic, etc. look "innocent" and


Link: I think it was...

(He randomly points to somebody.)

Link: YOU!!

Onion Boy: Me? I didn't do anything?

Link: Then what's in your hands?

Onion Boy: It's not my fault!!! Navi told me to take it!

(Link grabs his Sponge Bob Square Pants boxers from Onion Boy.)

Link: Oops. Then it's...

(Points to Professor Charlotte Snape.)

Link: YOU!!!!!

Professor Charlotte Snape: Hey! I say I want to be in the fic and I get blamed for this??? How dare you???

Link: At the least, can you give me my shield back?

Professor Charlotte Snape: Fine. (sad eyes)

Link: Fine, I have to be right this time....

(Points to Bill Gates)

Link YOU!

Bill Gates: Let me look through my book.

(Bill consults a small black book.)

Bill Gates: Let's see here, I've stolen from Bill Clinton, the government, the random bum down the street

(Random bum approaches and hits Bill Gates.)


(Grabs his cash and leaves.)

Bill Gates: However, nothing about Link.

Link: Then it must be...

(Points to Dagger, Empress of Hyrule.)

Link: YOU!

Dagger, Empress of Hyrule: I'm sorry. It's not my fault. I'm hyperactive, like torture, and occasionally go insane.

What did you expect??

Link: I don't know, but thank you for giving it back!

(Everyone leaves and Link is lead north.)

Link: Ah! A pawn shop!

(Link, Dekustar the Mad Author, and Navi enter the shop, which is full of Nazis.)

Nazis: Hiel! Smoochie!!!

Link: Yea, whatever. I need a certain medallion which has been sold here, I believe.

Hitler: Yes. Ze medallion. Zat vill be about one hundred zoundand rupees.

Link: No problem.

(Link gets out his wallet.)

Link: Crap, I forgot to take the money!! Fine, if you don't give it to me, I'll leave Navi here!

Hitler: Navi? Zat's a problem vhy?

Link: Because....

Navi: HEY!!!LOOK!!!!LISTEN!!!!

Nazis: AHHHHHHH!!!!

(The Nazis throw the Medallion at Link.)

Link: Finally!



Narrator: That was fun, wasn't it? I liked it. And Link is on the right track for once!!! Now....

Dekustar the Mad Author: Uhhh, Mr. Almighty Author sir... The chapter ended and Navi's still alive...

Almighty Author: What? Crap!!! Armageddon!!!

(The earth splits beneath Navi, who is then sucked into the center of the earth. The crack is then sealed.)

Almighty Author: That works.

Link: Oh my god, you killed Navi, you, uh, Almighty Author!!!


Narrator: Now, are we done?

Dekustar the Mad Author: I guess... It could have been funnier...

Almighty Author: Ever hear of deadlines

Dekustar the Mad Author: Yes, but what does that have to...

Almighty Author: Good.

Narrator: Now, my friend, the chapter is finished. [Exeunt]