The Roller Coaster Life
The intro monologue
"Well, this is slightly awkward. I'm not really sure where to start. Dear reader, Or maybe I should use my more commonly known opening? Hmm…
Hey there internet! …Guessed who I am yet? No? What if I told you I'm British? Seriously, Still nothing? Not so smart are you? He says talking to an inanimate object. Well then just for those who are completely oblivious as to who I am I believe some introductions are in order.
I am most commonly known as the internet cult leader 'Danisnotonfire' (Or sometimes even my birth name which is Dan Howell) from the sensational internet video viewing website YouTube. I have a Radio show with the BBC that I do with my best friend Phil (Amazingphil, another Youtuber) and I have a secret passionate relationship with the chocolate malteasers. No I'm kidding. Kind of.
I'll be completely straight with you now (Oh God the irony) I have absolutely no idea where the hell I'm going with this. This could be an account of my life. I could just be telling you random stories about what happens in the typical life of Daniel Howell. Who knows? Well apart from me. Heh. If I told you right now what this is going to be about and you didn't like it would you leave? Probably. So I'm going to be a good old fashioned Twat and keep this information away from you for now.
Actually that's a little mean (according to Phil) so I'll tell you this then.
This thing that I'm writing is going to be…
(Pathetically and embarrassingly so)
(No Phil puns necessary)
(not to blow my own trumpet or anything but I'm kind of funny)
And something you all totally saw coming.
Well most of you anyway.
Do I have your attention now? Good. So to recap! My name is Dan Howell and this is my random roller coaster of a life.