"I'm sorry...I got myself into trouble again and you... killed him. You killed again and I am sorry that I was the one who put you in a position where you had to make that kind of choice."
~ Felicity Smoak
When he asked her about it at work she would lie. She would lie and tell him that, yes, she managed to get some rest last night.
Yes, she felt better.
No, she didn't have nightmares.
Of course, whether he would believe her or not was a whole other story, but then again, he was such a bad liar himself that she might just get away with it. Because the truth was that her nightmares were horrific and no matter how many showers she took, scrubbing her skin until it was an angry, painful red color and washing her hair with copious amounts of shampoo, she could still feel that man's fingers in her hair and on her skin.
So instead of sleeping, her brain thought it would be better to just overplay the night's events over and over again. That, in turn, made her analyze everything that's happened and was how she ended up where she currently was – in Starling City Memorial, holding a small bouquet of flowers in her hand.
Running her free hand through her hair, she exhaled loudly before approaching the grave and laying down the flowers.
"I hope you like them, I mean, I didn't really know you, so I had no idea what flowers you liked or… I mean, I'm sorry if you don't like them, but I was going for meaning instead of loveliness and according to Google, and I quote: "Aqua – blue and violet hyacinth, white roses and cream tulips symbolize what I've come her to say… supposedly. I'm not into flowers so I can't confirm or deny that, but I doubt the florist at the shop next to my building would lie. She seemed nice enough…" She rambled nervously "Although, if you were allergic to flowers then that totally ruins the intent behind the gesture. Not that it really matters, I guess… You're dead, they can't affect you…"
At this point her palm collided with her forehead. "God, I'm sorry. Didn't mean that…"
She took a couple of deep breaths and looked around sheepishly, hoping that nobody heard that silly speech. For once, she was in luck, since it looked like there was no other living soul – no pun intended – besides her. Or maybe it was just the very early hour she was visiting…
Having calmed down, she squatted down so that she was facing the inscription.
"I came here to apologize." She said, all nervousness gone. "I already apologized to him and he brushed me off, telling me it was okay. But you see, I know him, and I know that it's not okay. So, the reason I'm bothering you in this unholy hour is that I wanted to say 'I'm sorry'." Her voice was somber as she spoke.
"He made a promise, knowing how much it would mean to you and last night he had to break it… because of me. And I'm sorry about that. I know that there probably isn't anyone that he values more than he does you and that dead or not, you mean the world to him. I saw what your falling out did to him before the Quake, and words cannot describe the state he was in after it."
She shifted a little on her feet and continued.
"I know how seriously he takes promises and no matter how much he justifies the choice he made last night, I know it would bother him at some point. He has enough on his plate already, so I've come here to ask you to forgive him for breaking his promise. From one friend to another. I don't know how it goes, but if you could just talk to him, or haunt him in his dreams, or appear to him, or whatever it is you ghosts do and tell him that it's okay and that you understand, then I'd be really grateful. "
With that, she brushed her fingers gently over the inscription and got back up on her feet.
"Goodbye, Tommy." She said with a small smile before walking away.
This idea came to me at 4AM and of course I got up and wrote it... It strikes me as something Felicity would actually do. Hope you liked it :)