First draft 8/21/02

Bad Days

He didn't know what was worse. This burning need, eating him from the inside out. That need to touch, hold, keep. To completely have. The need to have, the burning hungry need to have the others slender body held tightly to his own, or close by. To feel. To know the other was real. Or the inability to be able to be rid of it.

* * *

The first time he had seen him, he'd been at one of Gojyo's parties (Lover of his long time friend Hakkai). He had been drinking, though he was not drunk. He was being his cold, unsocial self. In fact, the only reason why he was there was to celebrate Hakkai's and Gojyo's new house (where the party was at).

Miserable, he leaned against the wall, and glared at anyone who looked like there where going to try and hit on him. He'd just about decided to leave, and was going to say goodnight to Hakkai and Gojyo, when he caught sight of a slender brunette on the other side of the room.

The brunette was small and had curves in just the right places to be considered very appealing. He looked much more feminine then masculine, in his opinion. However, it was not his great body or the short chocolate colored locks that got his attention. It was the boy's seemingly familiar eyes.

The brunette had gold eyes. Not a light brawn, but gold.

Golden eyes.

* * *

His own breathing sounded heavy and harsh to his ears as he roughly kissed the tanned neck of the one he had pinned to his bed. One hand stretched up to hold his captive's wrists in place while the other roughly undid the buttons on the large, white shirt that the other wore; the shirt was actually his, and was way too big for the smaller body trapped under him.

His own shirt had been discarded much earlier, and all he wore now where his black jeans. Unable to keep his hands off the one beneath him, he hungrily began to caress the boy's body. He felt two slight hands clumsily try to work his belt lose, and he could not stop the hungry groan that escaped his throat.

Growling lightly, he forced his knee in between soft thighs, and almost immediately they parted, letting him fit himself firmly between them. Smooth, tanned legs braced themselves against his clothed hips, and the hands that had been trying for his belt slid up and where now griping, rubbing, scratching their way down his back.

He rocked his hips forward, and the boy let out a delicious moan.

He couldn't wait anymore; he had to have him. He had to feel the brunette around him. He had to see the other's face flushed and twisted with absolute pleasure. He had to claim him, to mark him, to him his...

And that frightened him. He had never felt like this before. Never felt such a powerful need for anyone like this, never felt so...

* * *

He'd been studying the young brunette for almost twenty minuets, when a very drunk guest approached the boy. When the drunk wouldn't take no for an answer, the drunk started to put his hands where they most definitely did not belong. Watching the scene, something in him blazed to life. He had practically stormed across the room, grabbed the drunk by the collar and roughly flung him away from the stunned brunette. The drunk was about to say something, but he had narrowed his eyes and glared purple ice at him. The man quickly backed off.

He had spent the rest of the party standing next to the small brunette. He found himself reluctant to leave the boy alone. The brunette smiled and talked to him the whole time, and even though he barely talked at all and frowned the entire time, the boy still smiled and talked on.

Standing next to the happy, smiling brunette, he did not feel as empty as he always had. Not as alone...

And anyone who looked like they where going to come and try to talk or hit on them, he glared at.

He learned before the night was over that the boy's name was Goku, and that he just turned twenty. He was small for a twenty year old. The party was ending and most of the guests where leaving. He had felt a strange pain in his heart when the brunette had said that he'd had to go.

* * *

As carefully as he could, he pushed the first, well-oiled finger in. Sliding it in and out a few times before adding a second finger. He watched the boy's face twist in discomfort. He leaded down and whispered huskily into Goku's ear; told him to relax and to not tense up, it would hurt less that way.

The brunette nodded and tried to relax his body.

He tried to be gentle as he pushed in a third finger, and almost immediately the boy's body become tight and tense. He frowned when the boy whimpered, and he leaned closer to kiss, nip, and lick at the boy's trembling pink lips. He started to murmur things to the boy, and the slight brunette seemed to relax at the sound of his voice...

* * *

It was five days after the party, and he'd had a bad day and had to stay late at work. Miserable because he'd had to walk home in the pouring rain, he'd come home to his two-story house to find one soaking wet and cold brunette curled up against his door.

As soon as the boy noticed him, the brunette had gotten to his feet and had kept his head bowed, not meeting his eyes. He walked strait up to the boy and just looked at him for a long time. He sighed. Unlocking the door, he opened it and, not even speaking a single word to the boy, he reached out and took a firm hold of the boy's upper arm and pulled him inside.

He'd dragged the shivering brunette into the first floor bathroom, gave him some large towels to dry himself off with. He'd then told him to wait there and he went to see if he had any dry clothes that would fit him. After searching through all his drawers and closets, he'd found an old T-shirt and a pair of sweat pants that wouldn't fall of the brunette's slim hips.

While the brunette changed into some dry cloths, he'd thrown Goku's wet one into the dryer, and then went about making some hot chocolate to warm the boy up.

He would drive the brunette home as soon as the boy warmed up and his clothes where dry.

Half way through drying the brunette's clothes, though, the dryer had stopped working (which was ridicules, because the fucking thing was only two months old).

It was 11:30pm by now. At least the brunette was no longer shivering and his lips weren't blue. He'd decided that he would just have to drive the boy home in the clothes he was wearing. He had gone out in the cold poring rain to start his car.

Only to have it not start.

Damn it. What else could go wrong today?

When he had gone back inside, he had picked up the phone to call a cab.

Only to find it dead.

Was the whole WORLD out to get him today?

It was almost like some higher power was determined to keep him miserable.

Giving up, he lent Goku one of his other shirts to sleep in and let the brunette sleep in the spare bedroom. Thankfully, the boy didn't wake up until 8:30 the next morning and by then was on his second cup of coffee and half way through yesterday's newspaper.

The boy had sleepily walked into the kitchen wearing only the barrowed white, button-down shirt. He'd found it difficult not to stare, and had tried in vain to keep his eyes on his newspaper, trying to distract himself.

It didn't work. He couldn't help but look at all the lightly tanned and smooth skin that the white shirt was doing a horrible job of covering. The shirt sagged slightly off the brunette's left shoulder because only half of the buttons where done up, and it only reached just bellow half way down his thighs.

Without warning, a fiery storm of emotions and feeling began whirling around inside him - and quickly began raging out of control.

Outside, the rainstorm continued to pour.

* * *

Removing his fingers, he quickly rubbed some oil on himself. Then lifting one of the brunette's long, slender legs up to his shoulder, purple eyes met gold and locked together. Slowly pushing himself forward, he felt himself sink into the brunette he groaned and grit his teeth. Goku was still tight. And hot.

When he felt that he could go no further, he stopped and held still for a moment. He let out a long, shuddering moan. He pulled back slightly, only to jerk forward again, forcing himself just a little bit further inside the boy. He watched in awe and surprise as the brunette shuddered and arched his back. The boy moaned and cried out as he tipped his head back, golden eyes closing tight as pleasure ripped through him.

Oh, he loved the sound the boy had just made. It made the fire in his body burn and rage even hotter than before. He pulled almost all the way out and then pushed slowly back in. As he did so, the boy beneath him made a sound that was half moan and half purr.

He loved that sound just as much as the first.

* * *

When he came back to himself, he had found the brunette laying on the table. With him pinning him there.

They where engaged in a hot, blazing kiss. Their hands shamelessly exploring and his shirt had ended up on the other side of the kitchen. He had enough presence-of-mind left to realize that they most definitely should not be doing this. He barley knew the boy.

But as the part of him that said, "This is way to much, way to fast," another part was telling him not to stop. And it was like this part - the part of him that had found the brunette's eyes so familiar, the part that was enraged by the drunk's actions at the party, the part of him that had made him take the brunette into his house without a question - had taken control of his body. Driving him forward. He could barley fight against it.

Did he want to?

Another part of him decided to speak up then, whispering, "Our first time shouldn't be on a cold hard table - it should be on a soft bed."

It only took him a second to act, pulling the beautiful boy named Goku up from the table and pulling him up to his bedroom...

* * *

This day was turning out a lot better than yesterday . . .