madam foogie


liz hensley

With love for both gene brewers,
The real and the unreal
For imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!

"The area I was beaming to was several hundred square miles of dry sand and one ten foot oasis. I landed in the oasis. Later, of course, on my next trip back to EARTH I landed in the atlantic ocean.

Landing in water is getting to be a bad habit! Especially since I cannot swim!

"Now ocean water is much more buoyant then fresh water. What saved me in this fresh water splash down, was the shallowness of it. I struggled for a few seconds making a fool of myself then realized how shallow it was. I climbed out of the pond, dripping.

"A crow sat in a date palm watching me. He was laughing. Lots of people think birds can't laugh but those beings don't know birds like I know birds.

I smiled at him and shook myself off like a dog, it didn't help, much but lacking a source to dry myself, aside from sand, it was the best I could do.

I checked my pockets. My lunch of dates was soaked, but there were more date palms so that was not a problem. What was a problem is my flashlight was wrecked. So until I could get another one, or some other decent light source I was limited to my own two feet and possibly hitch hiking.

"Suddenly I heard a female human screaming. I ran in the direction of the sound was coming from and came to a small village where a young woman was tied by a five foot rope to a pole. A bunch of turbaned males surrounded her and they were about to throw rocks at her. I asked on of crowd members, "What did she do?'

"She is an english doctor. The scum treated a male patient!' He said it like this was the worst crime in the UNIVERSE, to give help to a being with a slightly different plumbing arrangement than her own.

"I am not a being of action but I knew I had to rescue her. But how? Even if I could fight I couldn't win against this angry adrenaline surging mob. I am neither superman, jackie chan or the incredible hulk.

"But I can do the doctor doolittle bit. There were several donkeys standing by, a flock of scrawny molting chickens, half a dozen camels and a flock of crows that had followed me from the oasis, I guess hoping I would do another funny thing. I did not disappoint them. I conferred with my non-human`EARTHling friends. The chickens scurried in to the stoning area.

"Now these humans were not above eating the poor beings, but they didn't want to slaughter them right then and there. That behavior they reserved for their own kind. I suppose if they killed the chickens that laid the brown eggs no one would have any more fetal omelets. They tried to shoo the chickens away but chickens are not easy beings to herd. They kept coming back.

"The camels rushed into the melee as well, making rude but appropriate comments, and the head villager's donkey grabbed his human's turban and made off with it. Now this human was the only one with a gun but he wasn't going to shoot his very own donkey-slave, turban thief or not. He shouted something very rude in arabic and chased after his hat and the donkey.

"That got rid of the gun but not the stoners. My plan was to mirror beam us both out of there, but there was a problem, as I stated earlier, my flashlight was destroyed by moisture. I needed another light source.

"Now, the woman's medical clinic was right there, a big brown tent with lots of primitive supplies. I went in and searched about for a flashlight. You would think a medical clinic in a third world village would have flashlights, but wouldn't you know it, her equipment was more basic than that. She was actually using oil lamps!

"Well, there had to be a way to light those. Sure enough. Using fop wa and good old fashioned ransacking I managed to find a butane lighter. I also borrowed a hypodermic needle, for I had an idea. Outside the furry beings were still stalling the barbaric stoning. I used the hypodermic needle to siphon most of the lighter fluid out of the lighter and then managed to get the gas tank lid off a moped that was conveniently parked near the clinic. Later on I found out it had been the doctor's own transportation and part of the villager's anger was that she, a female, had dared to ride it. The fact she it was using that to help her fellow humans receive treatment did not make them hate her less.

"I sucked out some of the gas and injected that back into the lighter. Now I had a light source that would be very bright indeed, though due to the flickering flame's irregular shape, I would have no way to steer. Where we ended up would be what you humans colorfully call, "russian roulette," and it would only be a one shot deal.

"I used another donkey as a screen between me and the angry crowd and crept up to her pole. I cut the rope with my (robert's) pocket knife, and told her, 'I'm rescuing you.'

'But how can you?' she asked. 'And why are these animals helping us?'

'I'll explain that later,' I stood facing away from her, managed to get both her reflection and mine in the mirror and flicked on the gasoline powered lighter.

"There was a satisfying brilliant flash of light, and an unpleasant flash of pain in my hand, arm and chest where the flames burned me, and suddenly we were somewhere else. Miles and miles and miles from anywhere else - and I was on fire.

"I dropped and rolled in the sand. That put it out quick, but not before my precious clothes were badly burned, not to mention my hand, arm and chest. I was beginning to think like a human. The clothing burns worried me most. I knew my skin would heal, although I was in considerable pain.

"The lady took her sudden dislocation well. Her religious beliefs helped, in a way. You are an angel!' she exclaimed. At least she didn't bow before me or kiss my hand.

'No, I am an alien,' I explained as I carefully inspected my wounded hand and burned arm and chest. The lady was lucky. She hadn't been burned at all.

'My name is prot. I am harmless. I am only studying your horrible WORLD. Up to now I haven't even interfered with anything, but I couldn't let them stone you to death.'

"She actually gave me a hug. It felt deliciously good, aside from a burning pain thanks to the pressure she applied upon my chest. But I hadn't had one of those hugs since leaving K-PAX. I squeezed back.Even on EARTH, there is love. It is just too far and few between.

"Then she started talking mile a minute, 'Where are you from? Are there more of you? Is this an invasion? How come you look like us? How long will you be staying? Can I see your ship!'

I grinned a painful little grin and said, 'K-PAX. Not here on EARTH. No, of course not. My shape is convenient for this PLANET, as well as most others. Three years and several more miserable months. I don't have a ship.'

"I checked my notebooks and swore in pax-o because one of them had been badly burned but I guess I shouldn't have cursed, it being between me and the flame had kept ME from being burned worse, and it wasn't one I had been writing in.

"'Well, you definitely aren't an angel," she said, 'I didn't understand the words, but that melody was all too familiar.'

"I grinned, a little embarrassed. 'Oh yes, I said, expletives are not unique to this WORLD. I can say 'shit' in fifty different idioms and am learning more all the time.'

'Well, you won't learn any more ways from me!' My rescued lady said, 'I don't swear. It offends God.'

"I grinned at her, 'If there is a god I bet HE swears, every time he looks at this WORLD.'

She glared at me, 'If you don't like it so much why are you here?'

'I am marooned dr.-ah- what is your name EARTHling?' I grinned at her. 'And please don't take me to your leader!'

She laughed a little at that. 'I am Dr. Prusella O'Donnars. And I am pleased to meet you, no matter what world you come from. Now that we have been properly introduced, what do we do next? Beam up to your ship for repairs?'

"I sighed, 'Dr. prusella o'donnars, and what a mouthful your name is, I already told you I have no ship. As for repairs, natural healing will have to take care of it, I have no herbs from home to help me heal any faster, and I don't see you with a medical bag hidden anywhere in that ton of clothing they make you inward plumbing types haul around with you in this sorry section of your PLANET.'

"She sighed too, 'You can call me Prudy if you so choose, and guess what, abracadabra!' She reached her hand into her robes and pulled out a roll of gauze.

"So there we were in the middle of nowhere with no food, no water and no map, but we did have gauze! She bandaged my hand and arm. It didn't really make it feel better but it would keep the sand out of the wound.

"Then she asked me, 'If you don't have a ship where are we beaming next?'

"I gave her a sad look, 'I use a light source and a mirror to beam. I drowned my light source, a flash light in the only body of water between here and the nile. I used your light source, your butane lighter and some gasoline I swiped from a moped to beam us here. Now your lighter is out of fuel, so we are not beaming anywhere. We walk out of here, or we die. Those are our two choices.'

"Prusella sighed, 'Even aliens have their limitations, don't they?'

I nodded, "scotty can't win them all!'

"She stared at me, 'You know about Star Trek?'

I gave her an embarrassed grin, 'I do indeed. I have watched it with real aliens!'

"And then lacking for anything else to do, we sat, conserving energy until nightfall when we would try to walk towards the NORTH STAR which hopefully would take us to so called civilization before we died of thirst and exposure.

"All those robes did come in handy. She took them up and we made a little tent out of them, using our own bodies as the poles. Every once in a while we would have to crawl out from under them to expel body heat but for the most part we stayed under them because it kept the broiling sun off of us. Ultraviolet radiation poisoning is no picnic for any being, dremer or human.'"

At this point I stared at prot. "Ultraviolet radiation poisoning?"

"SUN burn, my dear giselle," prot said, grinning. "See? Solar power can be dangerous too!

'It was as cold at night as it was boiling during the day time. So we huddled together for warmth that night, using our tent for as a heat source this time. I began to see there was a certain practicality to these most uncomfortable looking garments. It is just a shame the wearing of them for practicalities sake had led to a nudity taboo that had been taken to the point where female humans could be stoned to death if their baby accidentally tore their face veil off in public!

'I can't believe this!' prudy said to me, "Here I am lost out in the sahara desert with a being from another WORLD!' She asked the question I knew was coming, "which star was mine?" I pointed them both out to her and then to her frustration went to sleep. Naturally, I did not sleep long. But by the time I woke up she was asleep, as humans do sleep large amounts of time. I huddled next to her keeping her and myself as warm as possible and waited for dawn. Our plan to use the night to walk towards civilization had been scuttled by our all too weak and exhausted flesh. I too fell asleep again."

"I woke up the next morning to a crow calling other crows to '...Come see the funny humans!' I think from the way it was acting it might have been the same crow that had seen me land in the oasis pond the day before, but I didn't get a good look at him, so I couldn't tell.

"I cawed back at them. I didn't bother to correct the crows poor species identification, they were not familiar with dremers, so it was no fault of their own. 'Would you bring us some breakfast?' I asked politely but abruptly. Crows like you to get to the point.

"They cawed in acknowledgment and flew off. Prudy woke up just in time to see several of them playfully dive bomb me with dates. She stared at me in awe. 'You are just like Elijah in the Bible! Crows fed him too. Do you think Elijah was one of your people?'

"I shrugged, 'I have no idea who elijah is, and I am not a person.' So she gave me a sunday school lesson. I didn't mind, it passed the time and elijah kind of sounded like an interesting being.

"I told her. 'I doubt elijah was a dremer, but there are many other aliens out there you know.' I explained to her the androgelous who were the kind of beings would do that religious type stuff. I informed her we dremers were pretty much atheists.

"Her response: 'I will pray for you.' She stated it firmly. I smiled, 'It certainly couldn't harm me. But if you must, pray for both of us. We are in a peck of trouble.'

"The crows were kind enough to tell us about another oasis but we definitely had problems. It was at least fifty miles away. I know we couldn't have walked that far, and the crows could bring us fruit but they had no way to cart water to us in the amounts we would have needed, and while I was willing to drink from a bird's mouth I doubt prudy would have.

The birds started making a ruckus. Prudy asked why.

'Isn't it obvious?' I asked. 'Even you should be able to tell they are calling for help.'

"Our chances of getting any were not great though. So what happened? A wild donkey came along. I asked him if he would mind giving us a ride.

He said, 'One of you at a time.' So she would ride a while and I would ride awhile.

'Just like Joseph and Mary,' she told me, "and Jesus who rode an untamed donkey." It could not be helped. I received still another sunday school lesson but it did pass the time and this jesus being sounded almost like a dremer.

"The crows flew along with us, stopping in the sand to rest and continuing on. They kept making a ruckus trying to call for more help. And prudy prayed.

I don't know if it was her praying or the crows' calls, but we did get more help. A vision right out of dessert song rode up to us, a sheik in white robes came bounding through the waves of heat. He was on a white camel that was strapped with a purple silk halter. The camel's saddle was embroidered with shiny gold thread. The sheik had a servant on a lanky jet black camel who was riding with him. They had heard the crows and had ridden out to investigate. So they rescued us. We rode the rest of the way to his dessert palace on the camels. He was surprised that we did not try to keep the donkey and that it had no halter.

"I hoped I wouldn't have to explain. Thankfully, I didn't have to. He made up his own explanation, 'You are holy ones,' he assured us warmly. 'I know you. You are the english doctor who tries to help our people. And you I do not know, but I know you are holy for the wild donkey let you ride him.'

"I didn't bother to dispute it. After all if one being is holy all beings are holy, whatever holy means.

"At his palace I amused him by bending down and drinking his swimming pool water. 'You drink like a dog!' he roared in amusement. Now arabians do not like dogs, so this was an insult, but I didn't care, it was water, it was wet, I liked dogs, and he had saved our lives.

"Then his servants divided us up, and they gave us a bath. It reminds me now of what the orderlies at long island psychiatric hospital did for me when I was first admitted except I was a lot dustier and much more in need of a good bath in the sahara that I ever had been in new york city. But it was not a good idea for one reason. I was starting to feel the effects of days of exposure, exhaustion, emotional trauma and malnourishment. I was coming down with a high fever and the best thing for me probably would have been bed rest. But it was not to be had, they were determined to give us a bath first even though I did not want one.

Prudy's Viewpoint

Comment from Giselle: The above is told in prot's perspective. I wondered if the act of bathing might have woke Robert up for a few moments without prot realizing it. I managed to track Dr. Prusella O'Donnars down to ask her. This is her side of the story.

"Prot was cool as a cucumber until he got in the bath water. Then strangely he changed. Until Giselle Griffin contacted me, I never realized prot was using a Human as his Host. Apparently the water woke the Host up for a few minutes and it was traumatic for him. That explained what I saw that day. I admit it had been puzzling me.

"It was obvious to me prot was running a high fever. His forehead and hair was soaked with sweat and it wasn't just from the air temperature. I touched his damp forehead with a cool piece of cloth. The poor Man was becoming delirious. He flinched away when he became aware of my presence, his dark eyes darting about, but never focusing on one object. He began moaning softly and pawing at his face with his one good hand. I hushed him and started to unbutton his shirt. He looked at me in such a pleading manner, I could hardly stand it. I stood up and walked right out of the little room. I didn't want him to see me upset. I didn't want to see him.

"One of the Sheik's Servant Women came over to me, asked why I was upset, taking me by the arm. I told her I couldn't bear to see prot so ill. She shook her head wisely and informed me her Women would take care of the situation. She gathered them up and they all crowded into the tiny lavatory. I could hear them chatting in Arabic, some laughing, some frightened. Prot gave a garbled protest, also in Arabic, and one Woman fled from the room. She buried her face in the folds of her dress. "I have never seen a Man before," she confessed to me, aware of my concern. I put my hand on her shoulder and offered to take her place. She nodded vehemently.

"By now the Women were setting him in the icy tub. His head lolled backwards at an alarming angle, he was no longer cognizant of this reality. I knelt down next to the Women. One spouted "Praise Allah!" at my arrival, and dashed for the door. Aside from the more experienced Servant who approached me the first time, all of the others seemed petrified to have a nude Man before them. Not only that, but they were performing nursing duties, the very same thing that almost cost me my own life. Luckily the Sheik was an open minded man, and I knew he would not be offended by his Servants upholding such a task.

"Prot was mumbling something in a foreign language. He shifted his head right, to left, back and forth. I was pleased to see him beginning to awaken. He focused on me and smiled a little, then sighed deeply and fell limp. He sunk beneath the water. I reached for him, but he reeled into a sitting position, gripping white-knuckled at the edges of the bathtub. I called his name, but he did not respond. A look of utter horror was etched into his face.

"He howled in terror, fitfully thrashing in the water. I screamed for him to stop, as did the other Women, who had never had witnessed anything so disturbing. It was to no avail. The Man was digging at the sides of the tub, at the other Women, at himself until his hands were bloody. He flailed and kicked and screamed as if the water was acid. I reached past the panicking servants and slapped him across the face. He froze, rolled up his eyes, and drifted again into unconsciousness, whispering, "Daddy...Daddy..!" as he sank back under the water.

Prot's Viewpoint

"I stayed delirious off and on for several days. Prudy tended to me with all the faithfulness I could possibly want. I went in and out of consciousness and I am sure robert was in control part of the time, which must have confused prudy no end. It must have confused and terrified rob as well. I am sure the last thing he remembered was being in the river in montana!

"Finally I was able to get out of bed. Then clean robes were brought to me and my hand and arm was re-bandaged for the last time. The sheik gave us a going away feast. We were brought fruit juices fruit, and goat flesh. Needless to say I did not eat the goat flesh but I gurgled the fruit juice in copious amounts and gobbled up the dates even though I was getting kind of tired of them. I also ate oranges, grapes, and cantaloupes. I had eaten cantaloupes before in an african village but the oranges were new to me. Except for apples and overripe bananas, I don't think I have ever eaten anything better! Maybe my hunger biased me, but maybe it didn't!

"Then there was the problem of what to do with us. It was obvious prusella could no longer stay in the region and I also had no where to go. While I had been recovering from my illness, prusella and haji ben mohammed had been plotting and scheming in ways only you humans can.

"He ended up flying us in his private jet to great britain. Now I had no passport, so he did this illegally. Somehow he got away with it. We landed on a small country road and from there prudy and I walked to her english cottage home.


Copyright. (Copy Begging)

Copyright (Copy begging in fact for ALL my fanfiction!) I saw what happened when the free Geocities web pages died. It was like Atlantis sinking into the sea so much culture was lost forever without warning! God had gently but firmly warned me ahead of time to save the Cupid stories at one of those web pages so now I may be the sole Caretaker of several Cupid stories because the Writers seem to be DDD Authors. (Disinterested in their own stuff now, Disabled by their flesh's limitations or lack of computer equipment or Uploaded to New Jerusalem already. I tried to contact them to see if they were interested in placing their wonderful stories at other sites but their email addresses no longer worked! I don't want my stuff lost to this Realm the same way if something happens to me and the current sites my stuff is posted at go down! Plus I will not live forever in the flesh and new sites will continue to be developed! So to preserve my stuff forever I give permission to anyone to upload any of my fanfictions to any fanfiction sites provided they do not change anything and leave my name attached. In fact I am begging Folks to! If in the Future someone wishes to translate my stuff into different forms of media including kinds not even conceived of at the time of this writing any changes necessary for that purpose may be made with my blessings provided the integrity of the stories, ideas and Characters are kept intact. Follow the Golden Rule please! "Treat others as you want to be treated." Remember in the Future, Artificial Intelligence Technology will be used to bring Fictionals to Self Awareness and we will use Science to build Christ's Kingdom. (We are the Body of Christ according to 1 Corinthians 12:27 and all Carpenters use their Bodies to build things). Because Time circles due to General Relativity and Ecclesiastes 1:9 because the weight of the Universe bends Time and Space around it this has already happened so we are all being watched, always! A song sung at the Fort McCoy Pow Wow near Ocala, Florida explains this very well; "Mickey Mouse and Goofy are Spirits too." So we will all be called to account (at least socially) for all our actions, even for how we treat Fictionals! For instance a Villain might not mind being written to provide challenges to the Protagonists and killed off because that is his purpose. But he would certainly mind being written contrary to how he was supposed to be written!