I've been abused by everyone for as long as I can remember. There is no place that I ever feel safe anymore, even with him being locked away from me. Now I learn that he is free and hunting for me. What do I do? Where can I go to be safe? What is going to happen to me?
Why is it that every time I finally think that I can stop running something goes wrong? I want to find courage in the bottom of a bottle but I know it won't work.
I know that when he finds me he is going to kill me but there is no place left for me to run to. So now I am trapped, I am in a cage just waiting for him to come. There is no one who can help me in this, I just have to wait and worry. Will I ever have a safe home? Will I ever be free to love again? Do I even want to love again?
These are some of the questions going thru my mind right now. There are a million more that I don't even want to think about. This is my story, my name is Bella Black and the man that is looking for me is my husband Jacob.
He has been in jail for the past 16 months for abusing me and I have just found out that he is free and is looking for me again. I don't have anyone that I can turn to, my dad and mom have died and I am alone. I have no friends now because of him so I can't call on any of them and I can't involve strangers because he will just kill them too.
I can always call the police but I will be dead before they get here. He always told me that he would kill me if I had him locked up but I just couldn't take the abuse any longer. He has left me a broken shell of the person I once was. The end will come soon because I know him. He won't stop till he finds me and he doesn't care who he has to go thru to do it. I just hope that when he does find me he is quick about it; I have suffered enough at his hands.
It won't be the end of the world, just the end of me. He won't really hurt anyone but me, so that shouldn't be a problem. Just please let it be fast. I have been beaten enough in my lifetime. Seems like some people have all the luck they find good men to love them and take care of them while I find the scum of the earth to beat me and make me believe that I am a useless piece of trash on the bottom of their shoes.
He will find me soon so I have to be prepared for it. Hopefully there will be someone else around to help me but I doubt if it will happen that way.
It is finally the day that I have been dreading. He has finally found me; he is knocking on the door now. I can't hide because he knows that I am here. Oh no, he just busted the door down, I've called the police I can only pray that they get here in time. He's found me, I can't hide anymore. I see the fury in his eyes. This is the end, I see his hands balling up into fist and then I see him swinging. Everything goes black I can still feel the pain being inflicted but I can't do anything to stop it. I can hear the sirens in the distance but I know it is too late. It's hard to breathe now and I can feel my heart slowing down and the beats getting irregular. My heart has stopped now, the police are trying to save me but it's too late I gave up a long time ago. The end wasn't fast or painless but at least it was the end.