Well, I've been the biggest connoisseur of Fuffy fics since the dawn of time, so I finally decided to post a little something that came into my head.
Your views and reviews are greatly appreciated!
Disclaimer: These characters are very much not mine.
I don't know why I knocked on the door. I guess I was feeling nervous. B sorta does that to me. She has that way of making the blood in my veins sing like it does when I kill a vamp. Just the sight of her makes my heart go a little faster and I feel so damned alive.
The house was dark but orderly—not yet looted like many others. There was a set of stairs and I instantly knew to take it. An invisible current bit at my heels, pushing me up and through the first door on the right. I don't know what I expected to find in that house that Buffy apparently pirated. I woulda been cool with her tearing the house to shreds or kicking the shit outta some vamps…and it woulda even been normal to see her fucking some douchebag not worth her time. But this? A little lump lying on some stranger's bed.
She looked small under brown coat. Had Buffy always been that small?
Well, I really didn't expect a response anyway.
"B. I know you hate me right now, but I—the thought of you alone—hey is there any room for me on there?" I motioned awkwardly to the bed, where B was staring blankly at me. The faint path of tears was still visible where it cut through her usually perfect makeup.
I started to panic. I could deal with an angry Buffy…but a sad one? There was no way. No way.
Not getting any encouragement from the little lump, I kneeled down next to her. God, she looked pitiful. My slayer connection with her was ticker taping "loneliness" across B's curled up body. It seeped offa her like smoke from a good cigarette and got really deep into my lungs, making it hard to breathe.
Loneliness wasn't unusual for me. Boston was a lonely place for me; jail was worse. It's never really gotten to me, though. I've actually always liked being alone. The "get some, get gone" mantra of my youth kinda made any sort of relationship impossible anyhow.
It was only when I met Buffy and the Scooby gang that I sorta started to rethink that whole loner schtick. They're good kids, and for once, I wanted people to like me. It also helped a bit that I totally was into B.
I guess it was harder than I thought—that whole getting people to like you deal—because instead I took the first out I could find: the mayor.
I fucked shit up bad. I left. I came back. I was forgiven. And now here I am again, standing in deep shit. Though thankfully, this time, it's not my own.
"B, I know what it's like to be lonely. Fuck all those baby slayers. I'd rather be sittin' alone on a rooftop somewhere with a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of Jack."
B still hadn't turned to look at me. Her doe-eyes were fixed at some little popcorns on the ceiling.
"To the apocalypse!" I shouted, deliberately slurring my words and pretending to hold a glass in my hand. I let myself fall backwards, only to accidentally hit the damned side table.
Lucky me, I managed to hit the back of my head squarely on the edge. A few curses later, I heard a quiet laugh from the lump next to me.
"Ey, lump. Whatchu laughin at?"
"Faith, you're a goof." The left corner of her mouth raised just a smidge.
"Is that a smile I see?" I couldn't keep my signature teasing out of the words. I was too damned happy that the whisps of loneliness were fading from her slayer essence.
How the fuck does B do that? Every damned thing, even a little laugh or the hint of a smile, manages to make happiness shoot up through me like a fuckin coke bottle all shook up.
"No!" Buffy threw a hand over her mouth as the corners turned up more.
I cocked an eyebrow. "I think it is." I tugged at the hand over her mouth and moved to straddle her with the intention of an all-out tickle fight. Suddenly, the resistance fell away and I pulled her hand from her mouth.
My heart stopped for a helluva long time. Then it started going really fast.
I was straddling Buffy Summers.
I could feel the slayer connection stretch and tighten like a rubber band pulling me down into my sister slayer.
B laughed uncomfortably. "Aren't you going to make one of your usual sexual remarks? Innuendos? Anything?"
God she was cute.
I was holding one of her hands and was only inches away from her lips. I grabbed Buffy's other hand, throwing both over her head and dipping my mouth to right above her ear. I heard her take in a breath real sharp. "Funny. I always pegged you to be a top."
I felt B slightly arch her body underneath me. I could hear her heartbeat quicken. I could smell her core.
Fuck. She smelled amazing. Did I do that?
My lips met her neck, where I kissed her lightly. I wasn't one for being sweet, but her skin just felt so good. I kissed her again and again until I kind of felt like I was going crazy.
Didn't someone once say that crazy was doing something over and over again and expecting different results?
Well, shit. Call me crazy, cos I kept expecting her to move away or say something or call me a perv. But all I got were sweet moans and breasts pressing into me and hell if I was gonna stop before that.
"Faith," B moaned. I had imagined that syllable coming from her mouth like that a million times but it never came close. My whole body went weak for a second as little fingertips crawled down my body and pooled between my legs.
I kissed just below her ear and across her jaw.
"Faith," Buffy said, her voice all breathy and sexy.
Damn what that girl did to me.
I kissed down the other side of her neck, making sure I got every last bit of it. My tongue darted out and flicked at her skin.
"FAITH!" This time it was a shout and a gasp that jolted me out of my kissing frenzy. Shit. Since when did I kiss like that?
Buffy's eyes were wide and her lips parted. Her eyebrows scrunched really close toward her nose and I could see the terror in her eyes.
"B. It's okay, it's okay." The panic began to set in again. What if she didn't want this? It was shitty timing on my part, ya know, trying to fuck her when she was all vulnerable like that.
I leaned into her ear again. "Do you want this?"
B paused. I could hear the Buffy gears grinding.
Grinding. Fuck. I hadn't even kissed her yet and I was fucking wetter than an April day in Boston.
"Yes. But tonight…can you just hold me?"
My vagina protested so hard I was afraid I wouldn't be able to have kids. But shit. A night of holding B didn't sound so bad, either.
My eyes searched hers, waiting for some sort of affirmation that this was actually happening.
Buffy's head didn't move more than a couple of inches before her lips were on mine. The slayer connection rubberband shot through the air and for a long while, it felt like I was flying. It was the power of the slayer combined with an unreal level of pleasure and desire. The two threads that were her slayer essence and mine curled around each other and I was in every fucking cell of B's body. I could feel her in mine, too.
Shit that felt nice.
I coulda kissed her until the whole world crashed around us. Unfortunately, the likelihood of that happening was, well, high.
"God, Faith!" B pulled a bit away from me, holding my head firmly in her strong hands. I couldn't help the smirk on my face. She looked as blown away as I felt.
"Been denying it too long, huh, B?"
"That was…I was…you… were…me," B searched my eyes frantically, trying to find the answer I didn't have. I just knew she was something I had never wanted in my entire life. But I couldn't help being drawn to her; it was there the first time I saw her at the Bronze.
"Maybe it's that whole slayer connection thing." Well, that was lame. "Y'know. Maybe we're supposed to be together or somethin."
I closed my eyes. I couldn't look at B after letting that one come out. What the fuck was I thinking? Regardless, all I wanted to do was kiss her again. My lips toyed with her earlobe and I felt the slayer adrenaline start to kick in again. They moved across her cheek and back to her mouth, where I fell into her all over again. Her tongue found its way into my mouth and I'm sorta ashamed to say that I think I whimpered.
My knee pressed up against B's center and I could feel B's shock of pleasure inside myself. Just to make sure that it had really happened, I moved against her again.
Shocks of pleasure straight to my clit. Fuck. This only got better.
I moved B's right hand to my cunt, wanting to show her what I had just experienced. Even through my black pants and barely-there thong, I could feel the cautious pressure of her strong hands against my clit. Buffy gasped, obviously feeling the exact same thing I was feeling. Fuckin' amazing.
I leaned down and kissed her cheek, not wanting to push this thing too far. If B wants to cuddle, I'm damned well gonna cuddle. I laid on my back, pulling her close. Her head lay on my chest and I felt warm all over. And, shit, I was happy.
Buck up, Lehane. This may just be a one time thing.
I couldn't bring myself to think that way. I finally had Buffy in my arms and I'd be damned if I let her go. Especially to that fucked up peroxide man. I shoulda beaten him twice as hard as I did.
"Hey, B?" I asked. Buffy hummed into my chest, where it warmed down to my belly button. "I think you were right. About the Vineyard."
"I don't feel very right."
I kissed her forehead. "B, I know you're somewhere inside that lump. It's the apocalypse, not Chemistry. You can't just give up."
"B, you were the queen bee over there. But it's not something you gave up. They stole that fucking crown from you." I couldn't help my hand from moving slowly back and forth over her blonde hair. "They need you. They just don't know it yet because their heads are too far up their asses."
"So that means…"
"You start saving the world and we'll catch up."
B nodded against my chest. "Okay," she said real small. I wasn't convinced, but I let it slide for now. More time for getting Queen B back in the morning. I waited until I heard her breathing slow down. She was so beautiful when she slept, and I pretended, just for a little while, that we were normal. It was just a normal night in our normal lives and we were gonna wake up in the morning and do normal things like go to school or work or to have a picnic or some shit like that.
Me and Buffy. If we survived this whole Apocalypse thing, would it work? I don't know if I could stick around if it didn't. I just knew I was going to try really damned hard to make a go of it. I kissed B's forehead again and whispered the words I never would let myself say before this, "I love you."
I never thought I'd say those words to anybody. But here I was, cuddling and saying it to the one person that I should hate and who should hate me. I had fucked up royally time and again with this girl. And instead of moving on like I always did when it inevitably happened, I just kept coming back.
I heard the light creaking of the stairs.
I felt the familiar tingle across the top of my body that usually signaled a vamp. My body tensed up and I cursed myself for leaving my weapons in the backpack across the room.
A shock of almost-white hair, a pale face and a long trenchcoat greeted me. I held on to Buffy a little bit tighter and sorta felt like growling.
His small eyes met mine and I could see that he was going between trying to beat the shit outta me or conceding defeat. He looked between B and me a few times before his already slumped posture slumped even more.
"Treat her well."
"You know it."
I fell asleep quickly after that, the feeling of B curled against me not much short of heaven.
I woke up to empty arms. It was like all the air had rushed outta me and I couldn't get enough in to replace it. I lay back on the pillow and waited until my lungs worked again.
Does B not want this?
Small tidbits of the previous night's dream came back to me. A canyon. A school bus. A really bloody Robin. Some crazy bright light. A small hand holding mine. None of it made much sense. I shook my head to get rid of all the images.
What even is this? We kissed. It was amazing. Fuckin phenomenal, in fact. But this was the Apocalypse. And she did have a boyfriend of sorts. And I hadn't exactly been confessing my love for her. Plus, B had a whole platter full of people who wanted her. She was never short of dick.
Fuck. What if B wasn't gay?
I thought back to her responses to me the previous night. The moaning. The wetness. No, that wasn't it. She definitely was okay with that.
I paced the room, knowing the baby slayers and Giles were probably shitting themselves wondering where I was. Fuck them. I heard the door open and shut, and I could feel the current inside me grow strong.
"B." I knew I was smiling like an idiot, but I really really didn't care. I wasn't sure whether I should kiss her or hug her or push her up against the wall and start fucking her, so I just kinda stood there grinning like a fool.
"Brought you breakfast," she said, pulling a couple of packages of Donettes out of her pocket. "Sorry. Everyone already looted all the good stuff." She was standing there kinda awkwardly, too. Daylight always shines a new awkwardness on shit that went down the night before. Reason number one that I never slept over on one night stands: no explanations necessary.
I took one of the packages of shitty powdered donuts and began eating, shoving three in my mouth at one time. I'm sure it was attractive. I just wasn't sure what else to do. I cursed at the powder that sprinkled all over my black pants and black shirt, and watched as Buffy managed to daintily eat all of her donuts without so much as a speck getting on her.
"There anything to drink down there?" Shit I was thirsty. Fuckers made your mouth crazy dry.
"I think I saw a couple of Yoohoos last night—"
I jumped up and pumped my fist in the air. Yoohoos were my favorite. I made my way to the kitchen, grabbed a couple and had mine half finished before I reached the bedroom again.
"Shit's the best," I said, handing B the other one. She looked at it distastefully but popped it open and took an experimental sip.
"Tastes like middle school."
"Doesn't it?" I laid back on the bed, feeling refreshed. I felt the bed dip down to the right of me, indicating that B had sat down. Her beautiful doe-eyes stared down curiously at me.
"Faith. What does this mean?"
I stopped, unable to really answer. Should I tell her I loved her? That I had wanted her for years? That I would do anything for her?
"Is this just an Apocalypse thing?" B asked, her voice unreadable.
"No, B. I really…I want to make a go of this." I grabbed her hand. "Me and you…if we survive this whole Apocalypse thing…I want there to be an us."
I had never felt so damned vulnerable in my entire life. I couldn't look at her. I didn't want to see the disgust. Instead, I felt a hand turn my cheek and the electric current of our two slayer essences once more turning around one another as she kissed me.
"Okay," Buffy said, smiling quietly.
My heart almost beached itself it jumped so high out of my chest. My hand found B's and it squeezed real hard. For once, I knew I wasn't gonna fuck up. I could feel something inside me calm and for once I felt settled and confident that shit was going to turn out all right. There would be an 'us.'
We sat together in a racing school bus driven by a very bloody former principal. I decidedly did not look back as the earth literally fell away under the wheels, which barely made it ahead of the growing canyon that was once Sunnydale. B's tired head leaned against my shoulder with her small hand holding mine.