The Rhodes Not Taken

First of all, Quinn's whiny head cold voice doesn't suit Don't Stop Believin'. In fact it makes Santana want to quit believing in mankind altogether. It also makes her want to vomit, which seems to be Quinn's reaction too since she's sprinting for the trash can every few bars.

It's not nerves, Santana knows. There's no way Quinn Fabray would have made head cheerio without brass balls.

Brittany puts two and two together fast. She does have a little sister after all and her mom suffered from morning sickness for most of her pregnancy. Quinn's voice reminds her of flutes, or maybe birds, so it's kinda gross watching someone so pretty just upchuck all over.

So when a new old lady, April something-or-other, comes in and takes the lead, Santana is all for it. Let someone else be the butt of the jokes because it sure as hell won't be her. Besides, April seems like Rachel minus dramatic storm outs and fake tears and whining.

When April sings, all Brittany can picture is organs. Not like her internal organs or anything, but those crazy big pianos she's seen at Santana's church with those giant blow holes. April's voice really is that big.

Brittany trails her hand up Santana's arm when April hits that glory note and they both shiver.

They like her already.


Rinky Dinks is the lamest name for a business establishment ever, but it's super fun skating around with Brittany even if Santana does cling to her arm for dear life.

However April came to be the proprietor of this place is probably super shady. It's whatever though as long as they get free everything at the snack bar and no one tries to feel them up by the Skee Ball machine.

April's still a drunk, but she reeks less now that she can afford to take showers. More importantly she isn't trying to hook up with any of the glee clubbers this time, namely Puck. Santana pretends to be relieved and wonders why she's pretending.

Instead April has her sights on Mr. Schuester which gets even funnier the more Santana thinks about it. Brittany agrees because maybe if April sticks around they won't get weird assignments that have nothing to do with ducks.

April doesn't stick around to their dismay, but she does buy them the auditorium which is even better in Santana's opinion since she's probably learned all the life lessons she'll ever need from that klepto.

Brittany will miss the way April can get Santana to loosen up a little since usually it takes Brittany a lot of convincing. That's just something she'll have to work on, starting with regular trips to Wrinkly Dicks or whatever it's called.


The Glee Club goes a year without seeing April again, but like clockwork she shows up in the middle of a glee club crisis. Finn probably kicks like twelve chairs at Sam for his little motel rendezvous Quinn, Santana doesn't really know because she's furious with Brittany for that whole Fondue For Two thing and now there's that damn Blind Items column in The Muckraker floating around school.

Things are so upside down that April's is the one trying to fix it so she does what she does best, besides huffing upholstery cleaner, and begins to sing.

When Santana recognizes Dreams, she starts to perk up. April knows good music and Santana's been on a Fleetwood Mac kick ever since Landslide. So she listens.

For Brittany, April's voice sounds like a trombone instead of an organ this time, sliding all over the place. Brittany knows the feeling.

Women, they will come and they will go, April and Mr. Schue sing together and doubt starts to creep into Santana's mind.

It's fleeting though; Brittany is forever.

Artie looks at Brittany as well, but Santana can tell his doubts are only getting worse and a sly smile forms on her lips.


And maybe they don't see April as much on this visit, but they also know there's no way Mr. Schue came up with this amazing lesson on his own.

In the end she scampers off to New York City to start her own Broadway show which Santana thinks will most likely bomb, but underneath it all, she hopes April succeeds.

Because that's what April means to them: hope that anyone can turn their situation around.

Even if it takes just a little while.