A/N Just watched the 50th yesterday. I loved the simple intimacy between the Doctor and Clara (and the fact that it's her reaction that makes him realize he can't go through with it). Just a short little scene between them. Had considered making it M, but I didn't think it fit with the mood.
There they all were. All of them. All of him staring up at hope itself. The Doctor couldn't help it, he felt... whole. As if the broken parts of him were finally beginning to mend. It was this feeling that stuck with him long after his other selves had disappeared and the clouds had begun to fade away. Somewhere out there, if the universe was as mad and impossible as he always thought it was, he had a home. He had a people. And he was no longer alone.
The Doctor opened his eyes to find Clara staring at him. He nearly laughed at the role reversal. Time Lords don't need nearly as much rest as humans; he was usually the one watching her sleep. "And just what do you think you're doing?"
"See anything interesting?"
"You were dreaming."
"Yes I was. So you believe me now, about the dreaming thing?" he ran a sleepy hand through her hair, hoping to draw her into an embrace, but she kept staring at him. "What's that look for?" he asked, mimicking her tone perfectly.
"You were dreaming about finding Gallifrey."
She said it with such authority the Doctor wasn't sure if she could read his mind or if he was still in the dream. "Oy, how'd you know that?"
"You always dream about Gallifrey. But tonight you looked happy," she finally broke eye contact and lay her head against his chest. Her small arms wrapped around him.
He ran his finger tips up and down her forearm. Enjoying the light gooseflesh left in his wake, "They were all there too, all the other me's. and yes, we were happy."
"Family reunion," she said as she pressed a soft kiss against his shoulder. "I was glad I got to meet them. As me that is."
He smiled down at her, "I'm glad I got to see them through your eyes. When you live through something, when it's your past you don't really see it anymore. Or you only see the pieces. Especially the ones you try the hardest to forget. I forgot him. I really did. I remembered what he did but not who he was. As if that single act was so big it encompassed his whole existence. But you saw him. You saw all of us. You saved Gallifrey."
"I helped. But it was mostly you. All twelve... I mean thirteen.. of you. Are we ever going to talk about that?"
"But we wouldn't have-"
"I'll take that as a no."
"-we would have done it, again. You stopped us."
"No I didn't, Doctor," she leaned up on her elbows and looked him straight in the eye. "You stopped."
"Because of the look on your face," he emphasized his point with a tap of her nose.
"Because you were thinking the same thing. Because sometimes you need someone to stop you. Someone to remind you who you are."
"And you know."
"I always know," she leaned down and left a lingering kiss on his lips before settling back into the warmth of his embrace. They lay in each others' arms for a long while. Neither speaking, simply enjoying the company and the comfortable intimacy that had developed between them. Worlds away from the days of failing limbs and the taunting use of the term, 'snog box'. "Thirteen of you saved Gallifrey. Why just thirteen?"
"Maybe the rest were busy," he said absentmindedly, as he ran his fingers through her hair.
"You'd be there no matter what."
"Then I guess I was."
"So that's it?" she asked, her eyes large and suddenly sad. "Just one more life?"
The Doctor had to laugh, "1200 plus years and thirteen lives. Don't you think that's enough?"
"No," Clara said earnestly.
"Well he's a long way off still. Don't you go worrying about me, Clara Oswald."
"I can't help it. It's my job."
The Doctor smiled down at her a planted a kiss on her forehead, "Guess that's why I'm still here."
"Where are we going tomorrow?" she asked, with a yawn, her eyes just barely staying open.
"Cocktails on the moon," he said, holding her tight.
"Sounds nice," her eyes had started to close. "Will you be here beside me when I wake?"
"Course I will. Here is cool. Here is great. Here is..." she was asleep before he could finish his sentence. Home, he thought to himself. The Doctor was no longer tired, but he stayed right where he was. He listened to her soft breathing and enjoyed the feel of her skin against his, and the slow beating of her heart. His mind drifted back to Gallifrey, to all the possibility and all the joy. To the home he spent so long running from he never realized how lost he'd be without it. His impossible planet somewhere out there and his Impossible Girl somehow lying next to him. Home, he thought again, and smiled.