Well! I really plan on getting this whole story done before I post chapters. But I like to keep my fan fictions in my documents locked away because I'm always going back and changing something. Why am I never satisfied!? Dx

Warning: Minor misspellings and grammar, a lot of cursing, and masturbation. ouo

Disclaimer: I do not own this wonder manga/anime known as Gravitation. If I did, I would FINISH GRAVITATION EX, GRAAAAAH!

~*The End Is A New Beginning*~

The world was ending. Right when he had decided to start anew and try to give a go at life, everything seemed to begin going his way. No, wrong, it wasn't his way anymore. The whole point of starting anew meant he wouldn't stay as he had been before the therapist lessons with Eiri. He told himself he wouldn't follow that way anymore. And as much as it pained him to think, he knew that he had to give up Ryu.

The phone call with Mika hung on his mind like the plague. Towards the end of their conversation, Tatsuha had tried to remind Mika of his old ways so that she would have doubts of his credibility, yet she wouldn't take the hint.

She had laughed on the phone, saying, "Tatsuha it's as if you don't want Ryuichi to hang out with you. I know how you've been and I trust you more than ever."

That was exactly it. Before he could answer her back, he heard crying from his nephew over the phone and with a quick apology and a goodbye, they hung up and that was that.

Tatsuha tried to reflect on his sessions with Yuki. Particularly the question on why he was so in love with Ryuichi to begin with. He's an old man trying to act young, according to Yuki. But that wasn't even close to what Tatsuha thought of his idol. Ryuichi was like a beautiful God. The man looked young for his age. He hadn't even seemed to age from the first time Tatsuha had ever seen Ryuichi. Not to mention Ryuichi seemed to grow sexier as the years passed and the pictures of Ryuichi became him with lesser and lesser clothes. He had a flat stomach with the hint of a four pack; toned, but not overly done. His nipples stayed a light, delicious color. And the crease of his hips remained that of a teenager, so sexy and young and deeply indented. His ass stayed nice and round, but not overly so. He had always wondered if Ryu did squats to get his ass so perfect. And the way he moaned out some of his lyrics was just so-

The loud creaking that his bed made when he bumped his head board into the wall stopped him from his thoughts. He caught his hand in an act that he did so much it was natural for him when he thought of Ryuichi in the confines of his room.

"Fuckā€¦" Tatsuha muttered, knowing that he was doing something he told himself he wouldn't do anymore. His hand continued its motion, moving up and down slowly this time. He looked down at his member and began to fantasize it was a certain someone else's hand. Even though he had matured way more than his past self, he still caught himself doing things that would never get old.

His mind automatically went into lusty world and before he knew it, he was coming at the part where Ryuichi screamed his name and described how good Tatsuha's cock felt in him. His eyes stayed closed for a while longer, letting his body feel pleasure without the stress of trying to change.

Tatsuha got up to go wash his hands. In actuality, he wasn't like those obvious manga characters who kept tissues by his bed. He preferred to properly wash his hands of his dirty deeds, as if to wash away the thoughts as well. Not that he cared; he was a healthy eighteen year old guy. Pure thoughts weren't the only thing running through people's minds at this age.

As he got up and washed his hands in the bathroom down the hall, he chewed his lip. Tatsuha was actually a bit surprised at how calm he was acting. Of course, he was more of the type to not think and then panic when he was faced with his problem. But he couldn't do that. He refused to allow himself to convert back into an idiot. Now that he was older, he had come to realize exactly how idiotic he had been and all the stupid choices he could have avoided. True, he wasn't that much older and he still made choices that would make his ancestors turn in their graves, but he was changing. Much like he needed to change completely before Ryuichi came.

Tatsuha absently walked around, sliding the old Japanese styled door and stepping outside. He settled for simply sitting on the porch, taking out his cigarettes pack. He lit his cancer stick, sliding both lighter and pack back into his pocket after doing so. He tried to smoke less, but smoking helped him clear his head.

It might be easy to pretend to be normal around Ryuichi. But his feelings would probably get in the way. As long as he reminded himself it wasn't actual love, he wouldn't have a problem. His heart screamed love while his brain told him it wasn't. Tatsuha thought over every time he and Yuki went through their therapy sessions, seeing as to how he couldn't just go to a shrink and say, "Hey! I have this sick, sexual obsession with a famous star who happens to be my brother in laws ex band mate, Ryuichi Sakuma. Did I mention I'm Eiri Yuki's brother?" Reporters would be all over that like flies to a pile of shit. So it resulted in him bribing Yuki with short cakes every week for an hour of therapy. That was the longest his brother could wait before the taunting sweets made him act like a four year old until he got his sweet cakes. Plus, it was two hours after Shuichi left for work in the morning. So even if Shuichi left work early, he wouldn't catch his and Yuki's weird exchange. Not to mention it gave Yuki time to enjoy his sweets, and then hide the evidence.

Every logical thought proved to him that he was infatuated with the star, but not in love. Ryuichi proved to be more of a role model- puberty fantasy- than someone Tatsuha felt strong feelings of love for. Or was it?

Tatsuha threw his cigarette onto the ground and stomped on it, thoughts giving him a migraine. He wouldn't think more of it. Plus Ryuichi wouldn't be coming so soon. Well, in between three days to a week. That was plenty of time to sort out his emotions, right?


Sorry this one didn't have much action and was short, but I promise more is to come soon~ :)

So far the writer's block has been kind to me and I am able to finish this chapter (two of the future ones are done, I just didn't know how to do this one or the next one. xD ). I hope you continue to read! And please be kind with critique. I take all comments to heart.