The Labyrinth of London
Pie Day and Turkey Day
A Sherlock/Labyrinth Crossover
"The Thin White Sleuth…"
The Almighty Disclaimer
Oh Moffat and Gatiss,
Henson and Doyle,
To you belongs all the characters
And none so for me!
Summary: Sarah "kidnaps" Jareth and brings him to her home for Thanksgiving. One shot. Part of The Labyrinth of London. Takes place during "The Babe with the Power".
A/N: This story was inspired by "The Thin White Sleuth..." by Pika-la-Cynique ( art/The-Thin-White-Sleuth-277488920) of Girls Next Door fame.
This story is inspired by the tradition my Aunt started. She loved desserts but hated that she could not eat as much pie as she wanted on Thanksgiving. To remedy this, the day before Thanksgiving, the family would all come together to make and eat all the pies they could. Even after her passing, her family still celebrates this.
Lestrade was standing outside the international departures at Heathrow. Jareth jumped out of a cab and walked up to the detective inspector.
"I received your text, Lestrade. I came here straight from Bart's. There's been a kidnapping?" Jareth asked.
The inspector smiled. "Yeah, yours."
"What?" Jareth said.
Lestrade gave Jareth a passport. "Mycroft Holmes approved trip. You are going on an honest to goodness vacation."
"How?" Jareth said.
Sarah came out of the departures gate dragging to carry-ons behind her. "'Ello."
"Traitor! I thought you left this morning to visit your family for some American holiday," Jareth said.
"I did but then I came back. I lied," Sarah said. She rubbed her hands together like an evil mastermind. "Lestrade tells me that you have never taken a vacation in the ten years you have worked for him. I decided to change that."
"I have breaks between cases for…"
"Those don't count," Sarah said, "Besides, my family misses you."
"Last time we met, two members of the family were made into bombs," Jareth said.
"They don't blame you for that and think you are the greatest thing since deep dish pizza. They love you. They would trade me for you if they could. 'Oh, Jareth is such a nice young man.' 'Jay is so cool.' 'Jareth would totally dig my band.' 'At least he's gay so I don't have to worry about being a grandfather.'"
"I assume the last one was your Father," Lestrade said.
"Yeah," Sarah said. She turned to Lestrade. "Jareth probably would be missing parts of his anatomy if my Father thought otherwise. Or at least get shot at."
"I am not going. Lestrade might need me," Jareth said.
"We can last a couple days without you. In fact, it might even make people more productive," Lestrade said, "Think of it as causing a little chaos to liven things up."
"I don't have anything packed," Jareth said.
"I already checked in our joint suitcase and these two as well. I wasn't sure what my family had planned and right now the weather is being indecisive about being hot or cold. I'll take one of your bags you take the other. I even packed Christmas presents from you to my family."
"Jareth, you don't know my parents that well and the kids already sent me their wish lists back in July with regular updates. You're set," Sarah said.
Jareth was silent.
"I think you broke him," Lestrade said.
"Don't worry. I'll snap him back out of it. I charged everything except my presents to my family to your card. Consider it a gift from you to me," Sarah said.
"How did you figure out my pin?" Jareth asked.
"It's quite simple. I asked my mother about the day being an understudy paid off and I figured it out from there," Sarah said, smiling. She passed a carry-on to Jareth.
"Am I that obvious?" Jareth asked as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Yes. Now, come on. Security is going to take a bit," Sarah said as she took Jareth's hand and dragged him into the airport. "The good news is that we have British Airways both to and from so we will have decent tea!"
"The father is the boy who traveled in time," Jareth said as he and Sarah watched Meet the Robinsons on her laptop during the flight.
"Duh," Sarah said, "Just be quiet and watch the movie. It's beautiful."
"No civilized human country should be without a decent train system," Jareth said as they waited outside a train station for Robert Williams to pick them up.
"We're civilized," Sarah said.
"You are celebrating the decimation of entire civilizations by disease, war, and religious intolerance not to mention general racism. You do this by playing a game that calls itself football though it is not, watching a parade that supports the growing commercialism of Christmas, and eating a factory raised bird that has never seen the light of day," Jareth said.
"Actually, we get the bird from a small farm just out of town. They roam free and are quite happy until they lose their heads," Sarah said.
Jareth jumped when Sarah let out the first high pitched scream he had ever heard come out of her. The balding Mr. Williams stepped out of a silver van. Sarah ran over to her father and hugged him.
"Hi, princess. How was your trip?"
"We both slept a little. I made Jareth watch a bunch of movies to continue his pop culture education," Sarah said.
They both walked over to Jareth where he was standing with the bags. "Mr. Williams," Jareth said.
"Jareth." The two men shook hands.
"Sarah, did you really have to bring all these bag?" Robert asked.
"Most of them are Jareth's. Yes, he's a clothes horse," Sarah said.
"I have never… that's a lie. I have seen a horse wearing clothes," Jareth said.
Mr. Williams thought on it for a moment before ignoring Jareth's comment. "We got you some Twining's tea."
"You deserve sainthood, Mr. Williams," Jareth said.
After an hour's drive, they arrived at Sarah's old home. Jareth had not seen it in over thirteen years. The outside had not changed. Once he stepped inside, Jareth saw that the decor had switched from a late eighties/early nineties look to clean lines and warm colors. Mrs. Williams greeted them at the door.
"The kids are still asleep," Karen said, "Hello, Sarah."
"Hey, Mom," Sarah said, hugging her stepmother.
"A pleasure to see you again Mrs. Williams," Jareth said holding his hand out to shake Karen's hand.
Karen went for a hug instead, surprising Jareth. "Aw. Sarah brags about you all the time. You're basically family anyway."
Jareth gently returned the hug. "Um… thank you?"
"Come on, I have a pot of coffee on. I can make you some tea," Karen said.
"Sainthood for you as well, Mrs. Williams," Jareth said.
They were able to quietly bring in the suitcases but left them at the foot of the stairs as they did not want to wake the children. Frederick, the Williams' dog after Merlin's passing, came to greet them. Sarah cooed over the canine. When the dog tried to jump on Jareth, the former goblin king simply said, "Sit" and the dog immediately sat down and looked expectantly at Jareth.
"He generally doesn't listen to people outside the family," Robert said.
"I can be… a commanding presence at times," Jareth said.
"How is work?" Karen asked.
"Dead people," Jareth said.
"Annoyingly alive people," Sarah said.
The sound of feet could be heard above.
"Drat. They heard us," Karen said.
Emily and Sophie came running down the stairs and then into the kitchen. They chatted excitedly as they greeted Sarah and Jareth. A few minutes later, an exhausted Toby walked in and hugged Jareth.
"Hello, Toby," Jareth said.
"What? No hug for me?" Sarah said.
"You should hug your sister, Toby," Jareth said.
"She'll mess up my hair," Toby said.
"I really doubt she can do more than what your hair currently is," Jareth said.
"My hair is cool. Cooler than yours," Toby said.
Jareth ruffled Toby's hair and shoved the boy to Sarah. "Blasphemy, Toby. I declare blasphemy."
"Speaking of cool, isn't your band coming to practice today?" Karen asked.
"Ugh, Mom. You can't say my band is cool. Then it's uncool," Toby said.
"I think you are cool and you will just have to live with that," Karen said.
"No! All coolness has been lost from me for all eternity!" Toby said dramatically.
"Anyway…" Karen said, passing Toby a cup of coffee, "Toby is too scared to ask, but he would like you, Jareth, to listen to his band."
Karen raised an eyebrow and Toby lowered his head. "Yes, ma'am."
"If Toby wishes it, I would be more than happy to. I may be of little use though. I am hardly a musician," Jareth said.
"Well that's utter bull shi… shrooms," Sarah said, correcting herself, "Even when you are playing at three in the morning, you make some lovely things. I don't think I dislike a thing I have ever heard you sing or play."
Jareth smirked. "Oh, really? All my songs."
Sarah rolled her eyes. "In a casual listener way. Not as the muse."
Jareth was still smirking. "As you wish, precious."
An hour before lunch Toby's band showed up to practice in the basement. Toby played lead guitar while his friends played amongst them second guitar, bass, drums, and keyboard.
The drummer blurted out when Sarah came downstairs, "Dude, you didn't tell me your sister was hot."
"Dude, ew, she's my sister," Toby said.
"Dude, ew, I'm right here you know," Sarah said, "Jareth, don't kill him."
"I did nothing," Jareth said.
"You were thinking it though," Sarah said.
Jareth and Sarah sat on the worn out sofa that faced the band. Sarah looped her arm with Jareth's and rested her head against his shoulder.
Toby stood in front of the microphone. "Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3. Welcome to this performance of Crowley and the Boys."
Jareth and Sarah let out a "whoop".
"This is our opening song, 'Falling Down For Love'," Toby said.
"Is there are particular meaning this band name?" Jareth whispered to Sarah.
"Supernatural reference," Sarah said.
"There is nothing supernatural about the name Crowley," Jareth said.
After each song, Jareth would give a constructive criticism, mostly praising the fact that the group was doing quite well for being so young and just needing more time to practice. The songs were good compositions and the musicians had the spirit needed to perform. Sarah resisted giggling at the way Toby and Jareth both seemed to be in rhythm when they were discussing tempo.
"White chili. Yum," Sarah said at lunch, "How I have missed you, American food."
"Is the food the hardest part?" Karen asked.
"Of what?" Sarah asked.
"Of living abroad," Karen said.
"It's the slang," Jareth said. He scratched Frederick's ears as the canine had taken a strong liking to him. "It may be the same language, but there is just enough of a difference to make you feel like an alien."
"Exactly," Sarah said, "And the food. Fortunately, anytime I miss America, I get a Coca-Cola. God bless advertising campaigns during World War II."
"What is next on the schedule?" Jareth said.
"Toby and I with the twins' help are going to be making pie. The two of you and my husband are going to stay out of the kitchen. I swear, the three of you are cursed. Well, I have only heard stories of you, Jareth dear, but Sarah and Robert are awful," Karen said. She pointed at Sarah with a ladle. "Don't even look at the kitchen until the pies are done."
"What? Jareth and I survive fine on my cooking. I can make grilled cheese just fine," Sarah said.
Jareth tried to muffle a noise of amusement. Sarah glared at him. "What?"
"Nothing to worry about, precious," Jareth said.
"What?" Sarah growled.
"They are very well cooked," Jareth said.
"You burned water!"
"One time! That was one time!"
"And Loki only did it with a horse once! I swear this will haunt you for the rest of eternity!"
Jareth was wrangled into playing DDR with the twins and Sarah as the pies cooked. After a quick tutorial, Jareth moved up the levels of DDR with ease, though Emily and Sophie made it difficult when they began to cheat and try to knock him off his feet. Whenever the twins would tackle Jareth to the ground, Frederick would join in and lick Jareth's face.
Mr. Williams was working on last minute business details in his office when he called Sarah to see him.
"Yes, Daddy?" Sarah asked as she sat in a reading chair.
"I just wanted to talk to you for a second, princess," Robert said.
Robert shook his head and sat across from Sarah. "Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to ask about you and how you're doing."
"I'm doing fine, Dad. Same old, same old. The cases keep Jareth sane and me on my toes. I'm making good friends. Job is worthwhile. School is going well," Sarah said.
"So… uh… no boyfriend?" Robert asked.
"Nope," Sarah said, "A couple of dates here and there, but nothing serious."
Robert rubbed the back of his neck. "So you and Jareth aren't…"
"Oh, no. No, no, no. Me and Jareth? No. He's my best friend. I don't view him that way," Sarah said. She felt her cheeks flush. "Can we um, turn down the heat or something? I am really hot from all the DDR."
"I was just… generally, when a man and a woman live together it is not… friendly. Unless one of them is gay. Is Jareth gay?" Robert seemed very eager for a 'yes'.
"Jareth and I are friends, Dad."
"Then what about that 'muse' comment this morning?"
Sarah moved some hair away from her face. "Jareth was… very interested in a relationship when we first met. He isn't anymore. He's pining after an ex-girlfriend right now. Even if I was interested, nothing would happen. We're just friends."
Robert sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Thank goodness. I was worried that you brought Jareth here to announce you two were serious."
"Dad, if we were dating, Jareth would make a gigantic show of it. He's not exactly subtle."
After a glorious feast of pies (including peach, much to Jareth's amusement), the family entered a semi-comatose state and went to bed early. Jareth awoke in the middle of the night, unable to sleep anymore. He crept down to the kitchen from the living room and found Karen working on the turkey.
"Morning, Jareth. Not sleeping well?" Karen said.
"A bit of jet lag. That's all, Mrs. Williams," Jareth said, sitting down in the kitchen. "Do you need my assistance?"
"No. I am good, thank you," Karen said.
"Can I put on the kettle?"
The two worked in silence as Karen finished putting the turkey in the oven and Jareth made a pot of tea.
Jareth broke the silence. "Sarah does miss you. All of you. She is generally happy, though. She loves being a nurse and helping people."
"That may be true, but what she really loves is working with you," Karen said, "She is very proud of you and is always talking about how wonderful you are. Robert says she hasn't been like that towards anyone since Linda and Sarah had their falling out when she almost sixteen."
Karen leaned back against the counter. "I don't know what happened there. One day, Sarah was emulating her mother in every way possible. Sarah was a diva who would throw fits if she didn't have her way. The next day, she is a grown woman who can calmly think her way through any situation and always thinking of her brother first."
Jareth hid his smile behind his cuppa.
Karen made herself a cup of tea as well. "You know, there is something not normal about you."
"I chose a line of work that puts me in constant contact with dead people and forces me to think like a madman. There is nothing normal about that," Jareth said.
"Not that. I understand that, actually. You're just like Sarah, you know. Kind of two sides of the same coin. No, it's just… you. I don't know. My grandmother told me about… it's silly."
"Everything is silly at five in the morning," Jareth said.
"Please don't make fun of me, but you remind me of the stories about the Fae. They look human, but not quite. They love puzzles and sweet treats. Music is a delight to them. But that covers a lot of people, doesn't it? I should probably go back to bed for a few minutes. Maybe then I won't be as silly."
Jareth nodded. This time, he smiled openly.
"Oh, and Jareth, thank you," Karen said.
Karen hugged Jareth. "For protecting my children. There is no way I can repay you for protecting my kids."
Jareth lightly patted Karen's shoulder, feeling uncomfortable at the sudden emotional show. "It is my honor, ma'am."
"There is enough food here to feed all the goblins in the Goblin Kingdom," Jareth said to Sarah as Karen finished putting out the food.
"Welcome to America," Sarah said.
As the group sat down, Robert said, "Okay, kids. The same as every year. Before we eat, we have to say one thing we are grateful for. Emily, you get to go first this year."
Emily sat up straighter and said, "I'm grateful that Jenny moved down the street so Sophie and I can play with her whenever we want."
"I'm grateful that I got pottery as one of my art classes and I can now get dirty without getting in trouble," Sophie said.
"I'm grateful that the band can practice in the basement instead of an unheated garage," Toby said.
Karen smiled and said, "I am grateful that all my children are growing and learning."
Sarah clasped Jareth's hand under the table and said, "I'm grateful that I have an awesome roommate who doesn't mind me kidnapping him for Thanksgiving."
Jareth squeezed Sarah's hand. "I'm grateful to have a partner who keeps me sane."
"And I am grateful that my family is all together for this wonderful meal," Robert said.
That afternoon, the family played football, which Jareth did not play with as much ease as DDR though he was tackled just as often. Sarah sent several photos of Jareth being attacked by the twins, Toby, and Frederick to their friends.
That evening, the family sat and watched Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Sarah leaned over to Jareth and said, "Thanks for coming with me."
"Anything for you, precious. I may have to come next year to keep my title as DDR champion," Jareth said.
"I look forward to it," Sarah said.
A few hours after arriving back in London, Jareth had a case while Sarah was on her first shift.
"See that Sarah is working tonight. So, how was the trip?" Lestrade asked as he and Jareth stood over a mutilated corpse.
"Oh, it was quite nice. I was not entirely bored," Jareth said, poking the body's spilled intestines with a stick.
"Sarah's family doing all right?" Lestrade said.
"Oh, yes. Toby is in a band. Sophie won an art award. Emily won first place in her gymnastics competition. Mr. And Mrs. Williams are enjoying their jobs. All is well," Jareth said.
"And Sarah?" Lestrade asked.
"Beaming like she hasn't done in months. Thank you for letting her think it was her idea to go home. I knew she needed all the support she could after that visit from Linda," Jareth said, "I do not, however, appreciate being packed off to the colonies like baggage."
"Well, you can thank Mycroft for that," Lestrade said.
"Of course it was Mycroft's idea," Jareth said, letting his sarcasm be evident.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. So, cause of death?" Lestrade asked.
Jareth paused before glaring at Lestrade. "The entire Yard has seen the photos, haven't they?"
A/N: Happy Thanksgiving dear readers!
I have had this idea since "The Blonde Babe" but this was the first opportunity I had to write it. The comment on trains is from the English family I stayed with during my student teaching.
In the novel, Sarah's stepmother's name is Irene but since we already have an Irene, I went with the fan name of Karen.