TW: Disordered thinking, could be considered an eating disorder. Set after 'The Hub' but no real spoilers that I'm aware of. Sorry if it's OOC. May turn into a two-shot or three-shot. Reviews are love!
Punch. Punch. Breathe. Hit. Harder, come on! It's been five hours, that's it, Skye, pick it up. Dizzy is good, dizzy is your friend, you're working hard. It proves it. No, no sitting down, have to keep going.
Gasping for breath, the hacktivist let her head rest on the punching bag, hands stilling and dropping to her sides. Even with the bandages wrapped around her palm and knuckles, her hands were throbbing, bright red with bruises forming. Maybe a break is needed, she thought woozily, pushing away from the bag and stumbling until she reached the wall. Sliding down, she drank the last dregs of water from her bottle.
She'd been…well, rationing herself. A sip every half hour or so, she felt like it was helping. If she worked hard enough, she'd allow herself more water. It was stupid really, she knew that water would surely help her dizziness, but still, she couldn't bring herself to drink more than a quarter of the bottle in a sitting.
Even more worryingly, she'd been rationing food. It's not like the Bus was running out or anything but she just wasn't hungry. Right? Besides, she still made sure to eat the meal they all ate one day of the week. After the sandwich incident, Fitz had decided that one night every week, they should all have a meal together. Simmons had made her special sandwiches for that first night and even Ward had agreed that they were delicious.
So what if she could only stomach a few bites, it's not like it was a problem or anything. She just wasn't hungry. Her stomach was in knots after numerous sleepless nights and alternating time zones. And so what if when she say May doing yoga or tai-chi and felt jealous, the woman had a killer body. And so what if she would watch her superiors work out or kick some ass on a mission and feel useless. She was really, in comparison. If Ward hadn't saved her that first mission of hers, she would be dead.
The food wasn't a problem. Okay, so maybe she'd decided she should diet. May constantly seemed to eat nothing but healthy foods and she was fine, better than fine. So who cared if Skye decided she really wanted to eat some salad? She was an agent in training, she needed to be in tip top working condition, if that meant losing a little weight and working out a little more, what did it matter? Ward was finally getting the rookie he wanted.
"Skye?" the woman looked up at the sound of her name and by the look on her SO's face, it wasn't the first time he'd tried to get her attention.
"Yo robot, sup?" she forced a grin as she looked up, happy and carefree Skye once more.
"Are you okay?" he asked, offering his hand to help her up. Skye carefully took it and he hauled her up easily, one eyebrow raising. He said nothing, eyes watching her as she wavered slightly.
"Fine, just tired. Not all of us have the stamina of The Cavalry." she smirked, rolling her shoulders and heading back to the punching bag, giving it a few jabs. Ward silently moved to stand opposite her, hands braced on the bag, pressing some of his weight against it so it didn't move as much.
They worked in silence for a little over half an hour before Ward stepped away from the bag. "Time. I think you've done enough for today. Go shower, May's cooking tonight." he nodded, passing her a bottle of water and a towel.
Thank god. Something healthy then.
Skye smiled, sipping the water and dabbing at her neck and chest. "Yeah, fair enough. But you don't get out sparring that easily. You promised me." she huffed, tilting her head to the side and batting her lashes.
Ward blew out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes. "Fine. Later. See if we can get you all tired out for bed." he hummed and immediately the tips of his ears turned bright red as what he said registered.
God, that sounded like he was prepositioning me.
The hacker chuckled and patted his chest on the way out, being nice and letting him wallow in his mortification alone.
When they sat down to eat, Skye was feeling more than a little sick. She was tired but wound up and was debating just skipping dinner all together when Ward sat down. He greeted her with a 'hello' and a quick smile before he started to fill his plate. May must have been working forever; homemade hamburgers, a salad full of things she was sure she had never seen before, even homemade bread for the burgers. And lo and behold, May, healthy eating Melinda, had baked. A cake. There was no way Skye could eat any of that without throwing up, and even if she didn't, it would just make her feel sick and heavy and useless and fa-no. No, she wasn't fat. She could not think like that! There was no way she was overweight, she was normal. Just a normal weight.
So, she loaded salad onto her plate, nibbling on something green and trying to appear as if she was really enjoying it. The chatter was comfortable, even Ward and May joining in rather enthusiastically. Skye forced herself to talk, joining in, generally being loud, hoping they wouldn't notice how most of her food remained on her plate.
When FitzSimmons cleaned up and May started to cut up the cake, Skye excused herself. "Sorry. As wonderful as that looks, I'm feeling a little ill." she held her hand up as Jemma started to talk. "I'm fine, really. I'm going to give the bag an hour or so and head to bed." she smiled, rummaging in the fridge for a bottle of water before slinking back down to the 'gym'.
Exactly an hour later, Ward turned up, hands on his hips. "Skye." he said evenly and she glanced up to see that he was blocking her way out.
"You've been acting strange ever since me and Fitz came back."
If only. If only it had only been since then. Months had gone past since their first interaction. Months that she'd spent watching Ward and May and Coulson, months she'd spent skipping meals and working out, pushing herself, wanting to be better. Wanting to be an agent, an agent that Coulson could be proud of. An agent that would make May smile and an agent that Ward admire. An agent that FitzSimmons could rely on. The agent that she wanted to become.
She shrugged, starting to unwrap her hands. "I'm going to bed. See you for training in the morning."
"Skye." Grant sighed, shaking his head. "You don't look well. Go to Simmons, get her to check you over. I'll cancel training tomorrow until you're feeling better." he said, almost gently.
Skye nearly flipped. She didn't need coddling! She needed her workouts, she didn't need to be treated like a child or a nuisance. And some small part of her knew that Ward didn't mean it like that at all, he was genuinely concerned for his rookie's health.
"Ward, I'm fine." she said through gritted teeth, shoving the bag angrily.
It happened quickly; a wave of dizziness hit Skye and before she could even stumble out of the way, the bag hit her square in the chest. She actually flew back a few feet, somehow managing to stay upright. For a few seconds.
Her vision was blurred, heart pounding in her ears. She couldn't see.
"Skye!" she heard, the voice sounding far-away and panicked.
It was the last thing she heard before dropping to the floor.