Sam bolted upright in the bed, his breathing heavy, heart racing, and Haven's name on his lips. A slender, pale arm brushed against his side and he stared down at his angel. Gently, he picked up her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles. She appeared to be asleep. "Haven?" Brushing her hair away from her face, he looked her over. "Haven?" he tried again, giving her a soft nudge.
A knocked sounded on the door before Dean leaned in. "Sam?"
"Yeah, it's good. Come in." Giving her hand a squeeze, he called to her again. He gnawed at his lip, his forehead crinkling in worry. "She won't wake up."
Sam nodded and placed his fingers along her neck to check her pulse. "Hearts beating. I don't even know what happened. I can't remember." Sam squinted and tugged at his hair.
"How do you feel?" Dean stepped further into the room and stood next to the bed. He gazed down at Haven brow drawn down in worry.
"I'm good, I think. I mean... I feel great, actually."
Dean reached out and touched Haven's shoulder lightly. "Hey, little angel, you gonna wake up or leave us all here wondering?"
Sam's eyebrows lifted in surprise as he looked up at Dean. Dean caught the look, and pulled his hand away, taking a step back. "Uhhh… We should get going. It's getting late. I'm sure Ellen'll keep an eye on her."
Sam looked at Haven again, frowning, but nodding acceptance. Dean was right. They needed to go. Getting the Colt was their highest priority right now. He didn't want to leave her, but he had a job to do and he knew Ellen and Bobby would watch out for her.
Haven slowly opened her eyes, blinking, and taking in her surroundings. The room was dark, and unfamiliar. Her pulse leapt, and her breathing stuttered as she sat up. "Sam?"
There was no answer. Flashes of Sam's memories rushed through her and she shuddered. Thoughts of fire, blood, pain, and fear left her shaky and disorientated. Panicking, she pressed a hand to her mouth. Sam. Where was he? Was he okay? How long had she been out? Had he left to get the colt? Rising, she hurried from the room and made her way downstairs.
She found Castiel sitting with the woman called Ellen. They were drinking from many small glasses of liquid. She wasn't sure why and she didn't care to ask; she needed to find Sam.
Ellen saw her and stood. "You're awake. You've been asleep for some time now."
Haven nodded, her head swimming. She looked down as the room spun. "Sam?"
Ellen gently took her arm and led her to the sofa. "Woah, you look like you're about to fall over. Sit down and I'll get you a glass of water."
Shaking her head, Haven grabbed Ellen's wrist tightly. "Please… Sam. Where is he?"
"He's okay. He's in the other room with Dean." Tenderly, but still firm and insistent, Ellen pushed against Haven's shoulders so that she would sit down.
Haven closed her eyes and sighed in relief. He was okay. Pressing her hand to her head, she rubbed at the ache there. A cool hand pressed over hers and she looked up. Castiel stood next to her, a small frown gracing his lips. "You do not look well and your skin feels warm."
"I'm alright." Haven tried to smile, and accepted the glass of water Ellen handed her. After taking a sip, she again looked around the room.
"They are in Bobby's office. You are taking on too much, Haven" Castiel took a seat next to her. "It is not the same here as home. Once you are cut off from Heaven, you grow weaker. You cannot do all the things you could before."
"I can see everything Sam has gone through. It is like I was there," her voice trembled as she looked at him. "That has never happened before. I cannot make it stop." She stood, her legs weak and unsteady. She needed to find Sam, see for herself that he was okay.
"Haven, you need to rest." Castiel reached out for her, but she ignored him. The insistent need to see Sam forced her forward.
She could hear Sam and Dean talking softly, and she quietly leaned against the wall, listening. They were making plans to kill Lucifer; speaking as if it were nothing to be going into this town where he resided. Dean didn't want Sam to go, and Haven clung to the hope that rose in her, tilting her head to catch Sam's answer.
"Since when have we ever done anything smart?" Sam questioned, exasperation in his voice.
"I'm serious, Sam."
"So am I. Haven't we learned a damn thing? If we're gonna to do this… we're gonna to do it together."
"Okay, but it's a stupid freakin' idea." Dean conceded, and all the hope in Haven died as she slid down the wall and rested her head on her knees.
They would go off together, die together. She'd seen death through Sam's eyes, saw him die, saw Dean die. She bit her lip to keep from yelling out as tears began to run down her cheeks.
Dean walked out the door, past her and over to the young, pretty girl in the kitchen. Sam came out shortly after, spotted her and knelt down. "Hey, you're awake. Why are you sitting here on the floor? Are you okay?"
Haven turned her head away from him, something was pushing at her insides and she didn't want him to see her like this. She was not in control of herself. His hand gripped her chin and turned her face toward him. His thumb brushed at the tears, and he sighed softly. "Don't."
"I cannot seem to stop… I do not understand…" she swallowed harshly as more tears spilled. "You are willing to die? You, all of you," her hand swept over the room taking everyone in. "You are putting yourselves in danger. Lucifer is…"
Sam's finger pressed against her lips. "I know."
"Everybody get in here! It's time for the line-up." Bobby hollered gruffly from the other room. "Usual suspects in the corner."
Sam looked over his shoulder at the others who were making their way into the room, grumbling, but willing to have their picture taken, if that was what Bobby wanted. "Go," Haven pushed on Sam's shoulder. "Go."
"You should come."
"No. No, I don't belong in that picture. It is your family. Go."
Reluctantly, Sam stood and made his way into the living room, glancing back frequently at her. They all stood together, and Haven sat by listening, watching, and shaking. Her nails dug into her palms as they joked with each other until Castiel turned her blood to ice as he said what she herself was thinking. "Tomorrow we hunt the devil. This is our last night on Earth."
After that, there was complete silence as the camera snapped and the group broke up. Bobby and Ellen went back into the kitchen and quietly began to straighten up. Jo sat at the table and watched her mom move around the room. Castiel disappeared going she knew not where. Dean stood, staring out the window, tense and withdrawn. Sam came over to her and extended his hand. She took it and allowed herself to be pulled up. As she stood her eyes focused over Sam's shoulder. Dean was looking at them, his lips turned up slightly at the corners. Their eyes met and Haven was filled with pictures of Dean as a boy, as an adolescent, and an adult… then one of him dying, ripped to shreds, bloody and screaming. Gasping, her fist clinched onto Sam's shirt tightly. Dean stepped toward them, calling out as she crumpled.
Sam scooped Haven up as she fell, and pressed her against his chest. He carried her upstairs, past the inquiring eyes of Ellen and Bobby, and up into the same bedroom they had used earlier. Dean was right behind him. Carefully, he laid her on the bed.
They stood there staring down at her. "What the hell? Like we don't have enough shit going on?" Dean muttered while bending down to check her pulse. "It's a little fast."
"It is a reaction from her earlier endeavor." Castiel spoke from behind Sam and he jumped and eyed him angrily.
"So, I did this?" Sam turned his head and stared hard at the wall. "Damn it." His jaw clenched and his hands fisted. "What can I do?"
"Nothing. She is blocked from Heaven; it will take her longer to get back to herself."
Dean picked the blanket up and pulled it over her. "May as well let her sleep it off. We should sleep, too, big day tomorrow." He tucked the blanket gently beneath her, and squeezed her arm.
""Dean?" Jo called from the doorway.
Dean raised his head, his eyebrows rising with surprise. He went to Jo and spoke to her softly, to soft for Sam to hear. He understood though as Dean's arm went around her waist and he pulled her to his side. "Get some sleep, Sammy," he said before leaving, Jo still attached at his hip.
Sam watched them go, smiling slightly. Dean had always had a thing for Jo and he was glad they would be able to help each other get through the night. He wished Haven was awake so he could pass the evening talking with her. He was afraid without her gentle touch and soft voice he was going to have a tough time falling asleep.
"Sam." Cas looked at him intently. "Other angels are not able to feel the things she does. She was made with a more caring heart, to help her in her duty. You need to understand that."
Sam gazed down at Haven, and nodded wordlessly. When he looked up again, Cas was gone. He thought about going to another room to sleep, but he didn't want to. He took off his jacket and shoes and carefully stretched out beside her. Turning on his side facing her, he watched as she slept. He wondered why he she had come into his life and what it meant. He swept her hair away from her face, and sighed. He already cared about her a great deal. Too much, he admitted to himself. He couldn't let it go any further. The kiss had been a mistake, he'd been stupid. If she got too close to him she would just get hurt, or worse end up dead.
He should go into a separate room, but as he stared at her his heart ached and he wished, again, that his life was different.