AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic is not for lore monkeys, though people who have played the games will get more of the jokes than others. Yes, I know that these are not the real Akaviri from the games. This is for fun. Don't jump all over me.

I also don't own Naruto or the Elder Scrolls, so don't jump all over me for that either.


Naruto's Oblivion

By DireSquirrel

Chapter One

A Bad Deal

Kakashi awoke to the sounds of a woman sobbing. As he stood up, he looked and saw Tsunami clutching a young boy, no more than eight. Tears ran down her face as she looked at jonin.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed as she sat slumpbacked at the kitchen table. "I'm so sorry."

The normally late and lazy ninja was suddenly all business. His awareness was shot back up and he started taking in his surroundings. Naruto's coat was still on the chair. Sakura's hair comb was still where she had set it the night before at dinner. Sasuke's giant shuriken was still propped against the wall where he had been cleaning it the last time Kakashi was awake.

"What did you do?"

Tsunami looked at him with sorrow. Guilt was all over her stance and expression. Kakashi could tell it wasn't an act.

"I didn't have a choice; they had my son," she told him. "Your kids, I drugged their food and they took them away."


"Gato's men."


"Yesterday afternoon," said the client from the doorway. Tazuna looked at the younger man with a pained expression. "I was down at the bridge when suddenly all the orange kids vanished in smoke." He looked at his still sobbing daughter. "You should have just told us that they had Inari."

"Yes," Kakashi growled. His hands flickered through an interrogation technique that forced the weak-minded to speak the truth. "Now, where did they take them?"

"They said something about the docks and Lightning," Tsunami replied. She tried to meet his eyes, but glanced away the instant

Kakashi glared at the woman with an anger he had rarely felt before. But he didn't say anything more. If he had, he knew that it would have been counter productive. He'd just finally gotten them to work as a team and he lost them. He was positively furious. He turned and spun on Tazuna.

"You," he commanded. "Get that bridge done."

The Ninja stood up and loaded up with his students' gear. He tucked the scroll into his vest and started towards the door.

"Where are you going?" the bridge builder asked.

"I've got some kids to find," Kakashi replied, sending one last glare at the client's daughter. The door slammed behind him only to fall off from the force of the blow. The Wave citizens saw the man summoning a dog and sending it off before vanishing in a swirl of leaves.

Zabuza woke up groggy, like he had been fed something more than just the herbs Haku had been gathering. Then he realized he was not alone and not where he remembered going to sleep. Standing over him was the dwarfish Gato looking like the cat that caught the canary.

"So, you're awake," the short man cackled. "You'll fetch a good price back in the village of the Bloody Mist. Your brat wasn't worth anything, so we sent her-him-whatever along with those other brats. Won't make me much, but sometimes the money is only an added reward."

He was about to say something more, when Zabuza was suddenly up and clutching the fat man's neck through the bars. With a snap of his arm, he pulled, slamming Gato's head into the steel frame of the cell. Then the missing-nin snaked his arm up around the magnate's neck and pinned him to the bars.

"What-did-you-do-to-Haku?" The words were snarled and low and a less arrogant man would have recognized the menace in the tone.

"Sold that bitch to-gerk!" he cut himself off as the arm around his neck flexed, temporarily cutting off his air.

"You sold Haku to where?" Zabu continued.

"Some ship," Gato said quickly. "I had my bodyguards take care of it. Now let me go!"

Zabuza paused for a moment before nodding.

"Thank you for breaking my contract," he said as he flexed and physically pulled the man's head through the bars and watched him choke to death on his own blood. Zabuza flashed through some hand signs and a dragon of Gato's blood burst through, wrenching the steel grate off its hinges. Embracing his new fought freedom with a stretch of neck and arms, he glanced around, leaned down, and plucked the shades off Gato's corpse.

Sliding the shades onto his nose he nodded to his former employer.

"A pleasure doing business with you."

Needless to say, the mercenary population of Wave was significantly decreased as the two Jonin used some aggressive interrogation techniques into finding out where their charges vanished to. After three hours of slaughter and inquiry, the two found themselves on opposite sides of a room with Zōri and Waraji cowering between them.

Kakashi glanced at the bodyguards and then at Zabuza. The missing-nin was drenched in too much blood to have been still in the employ of Gato, still keeping some awareness of the missing-nin, he glanced at the bodyguards.

"Where are they?" he demanded.

Zōri promptly shat himself.

"They sold Haku," Zabuza said. "So don't kill 'em 'til I get where and how."

"They took my team as well," Kakashi admitted, guessing that this "Haku" was the missing accomplice. "Gato?"

"Permanent vacation," Zabuza replied. He pointed to the two cowering bodyguards. "Said these two took care of the selling."

"I guess I'll just have to be a little more aggressive in my interrogation," Kakashi commented. For the first time, he slid up his forehead protector and let his three-pronged red eye spin. Soon enough, the two were spilling everything as the genjutsu encouraged their obedience.


The Third Hokage winced at the screech. Ever since Kakashi had sent in his report, Sarutobi had been dreading telling the council what happened. However, his two old teammates had somehow learned Kakashi had been around and his companion was a bit different from the three he started the mission with. Now he wished he had put it off a little longer. The normally calm and sedate older Haruno could become just as loud and angry as her daughter and this was one of those few instances. With Chunin exams coming up in a month he didn't need the added trouble of a possible split with the non-shinobi citizens.

Sarutobi watched the woman rant as he puffed on his pipe silently. When it looked like she was finished he pulled the cotton balls out of his ears.

"Sit down," he instructed. When she didn't, the Hokage slammed his hands on the desk. "SIT DOWN!" The result was quick obedience. "I am telling you as a courtesy, but I might remind you that I didn't have to, I could have just told you that she was on an extended mission. Now, you are not to speak a word of this to anyone else. On pain of death."

"YOU CAN'T-" she was silenced by the ANBU who appeared behind her with a blade to the pink haired woman's throat.

"Yes, I can," Sarutobi cut in. "I am the leader of this village, and I am responsible for the lives of all involved. You, civilian or not, will obey my will or I will have you killed as a traitor for giving out state secrets."

"But she's my baby," the woman sobbed.

"And she's my ninja," Sarutobi shot back. "You might have given birth to her, but until she retires from service, she belongs to me first. I have people looking for her, good people." He looked towards the mountain that bore his face between three others. In the morning sun after a night of rain, the 4th Hokage looked like he was crying. "I am sympathetic to your loss, but if your daughter shows the same intelligence that she displayed in the Academy, she will come out on top of things."

Back in Kumo

"Wait, so you say this isn't where they took them?" Kakashi demanded with one hand holding the ship captain off the deck by his collar and the other with a kunai poised to stab.

"Uh, no, we sold them off on a ship headed towards some place called Tammy's Reel," the ship's captain managed to reply. "Selling ninjas is bad for business here, the villages always find out. Not to mention the cost of keeping them down isn't really worth it most of the time. Tammy's Reel is the place to go."

"Where's that?"

"I don't know," the captain said as he vainly tried to pull the ninja's fingers off his neck. "We only go so far as the Summerset Isle, which is a strange name because it's on the Equator and is summer pretty much year round. Tammy's Reel is further northeast beyond the isle."

"You had better hope that they're alive and well, because as soon as I get back, your operation is going down, capiche?"


"I said do you understand?"


"Common motherfucker! Do you speak it?" Zabuza said from the doorway. "I'm holding you and yours responsible for anything that happens to Haku. Do you understand?"

The ship captain nodded while wincing, still firmly in Kakashi's grip.

"You are going to make detailed maps, and they are going to be accurate, or else I'll be forced to put a really big hole in the bottom of your boat while you are at sea, and this is a good time to remind you that I can walk on water and sleep walk at will," Kakashi commented. "And you don't want that, do you?"

The ship-captain shook his head frantically.

"I found their clothes and gear, at least what they had on them when they were taken," Zabuza said, holding up a scroll. "They kept them in the hold."

"Great," Kakashi grumbled as he tossed the ship captain on his bed in the corner of his quarters. "So we've got baby ninja in another country with absolutely no gear, and worse, a Naruto without ramen. This is not going to end well."

"Wake up Sakura! Wake up!"

Sakura Haruno awoke to the unpleasant sound of Naruto's voice in stereo. She turned over and found him not wearing the same kind of painful orange he was so infamous for. In fact, both of him were wearing rags. Glancing down, so was she. Dream, she was clearly still dreaming. Her attempts at returning to sleep were stifled by the cold stone and rancid bedroll beneath her.

"What is it?" she grumbled as she rubbed her bleary eyes.

"We're in a DUNGEON!" Naruto proudly proclaimed.

Next Time: In a DUNGEON!