Here's another story that entered into the sack! Better late than never! This author has one story under her belt and decided to whip something up for us, and we couldn't be more grateful! A super sweet lady with a super eye opening story to be told from her real life. Our next author is ….
Twi-Mom12292005 aka Dawn Bowers
Title: The Christmas Miracle
Pre-reader/Beta: Twiddler83 and WitchyVampireGirl
Disclaimer: Twiddler and Witchy helped beta but all mistakes are mine. Stephenie Meyer owns the characters, I just used them to tell my story :)
Summary: Have you ever asked why something happens ? Bella and Edward did, and this is their story. An understanding of the why's of life.
The Christmas Miracle
God has a way of letting you know when you've done right or when you've done wrong. I never believed it until I saw with my own eyes.
You see, while I was pregnant with my first child I kept a journal, a diary of sorts. Looking back I'm glad I did. This is the tale of our very own Christmas miracle.
We were giddy and excited about Christmas coming especially since soon after we were anxiously awaiting the arrival of our baby girl. We had been counting down the days till we were finally going to be parents. The crib was put together, all the bedding was washed and placed in the crib. The walls were painted a pale yellow. The clothes was washed and either put away in the dresser or hung in the closet. With everything ready, all that was left to do was wait for the due date.
I never would've predicted anything outside normal expectations of pregnancy. But I was so very wrong. I'm sorry if this story seems vague, it's only because I had so much else on my mind at the time. While I know you've heard this story several times over the years, I ask that you bare with me, with it being Christmas it's only fitting this story is told one more time.
Time stood still when the doctors told me that our baby would be coming six weeks early. It all started when I was just sitting at home relaxing. Somewhere during the day I felt fluid trickle out and down my leg. I was puzzled and wondered if I had just peed on myself. Knowing it was not normal, I called the nurse in labor and delivery, she told me to take it easy and wear a pad. If I went through more than two pads in a six hour time frame to come on in. Well, yeah I went through three in matter of two hours. So I dragged myself off to labor and delivery. They weren't going to keep me at first, but as I was getting off the gurney getting ready to go home, a bigger gush came out. Needless to say, they said I was staying.
There wasn't really a logical explanation for what was happening. I went to the doctor just the week before where I was told everything looked good. I even got the recommended flu shot. Maybe that was what triggered the events, however we really didn't know. With this being my first pregnancy, I was freaking out. All I wanted was my mom. I needed Edward. But, more than anything, I wanted to know why ? Our daughter wasn't supposed to be here until mid January, but for whatever reason she was coming now. Why would God do this to us? I did everything I was supposed to. I read all the books, went to the classes, took the vitamins, ate everything I was allowed. We should still be planning our last Christmas as a couple before we went from a family of two to a family of three.
During all the chaos while the doctors were trying to figure out what caused this to happen, your dad and I spent some time just talking about how things were changing faster than expected. We still hadn't thought of the perfect name for you. We'd gone back and forth with everything from Abigail to Zarina. Nothing really stood out but we did make a list of about ten names or so we liked. One of the nurses that had been with me from the start of all this was Rose and we wanted to use her name as a way to honor her and all she's done for us during this trying time. With the middle name picked, it left only the matter of your first name. We were highly undecided and so we did something that would make your grandparents a tad drew your name from a hat. Yes, that's right, your dad and I drew your name out of a hat. So that's how you were named Natalie Rose.
But the excitement of picking your name was overshadowed by the realities of the have I signed my name so many times in my life. I was doing alright up until the nurses handed me paperwork that asking me if a choice had to be made between saving me or the baby, which did I want them to do. No doubt I would want them to save my baby above myself. Yet actually seeing documents, the words, and then signing your name to them, it was jarring. After singing everything, I was finally being admitted. I cried along with your dad as we tried to hold onto one another.
Your dad held my hand, kissed my knuckles, even rubbed on my belly. He always had to be touching me in some way shape or form. It was a comfort I not only wanted but needed. I think your dad needed it too. He would never admit to it, but I think we both scared him. To realize that something you've wanted all your life could be gone in a matter of seconds. Even when I was hooked up to all the machines and had a constant parade of nurses and doctors, your dad never stopped talking to you. He would ask mundane questions, or tell you about the things he wanted to show you when you were older. It's those little moments, when I look back, that makes me smile now.
You were something we spent years planning and praying for. So after all that we did to get where our dreams were about to come true, I asked myself, would God really take it away now? During those four days of endless steroid shots, ultrasounds, and blood work, I asked the Lord why? I never got a response but I was certain one day I would be given the answers I was seeking. Eventually everything was planned and they were going to induce me Friday morning. Barring any complications, you would arrive a few hours later.
Friday morning the doctor came in to do one final exam while the nurse arrived to started the inducing process. I don't remember much after the last bit of meds was administered. from what your dad remembers, neither of us got a good look at you, they wanted to get you to the NICU as soon as possible. I was so worried I something would happen to you, so I made Edward go with just to make sure. No sooner were the words out of my mouth then the machines they'd already connected to you started going crazy. In a flurry they took you out in an incubator and I was whisked back to my room. In between family and friends coming in to check on us and the nurses checking my vitals and keeping us up to date on everything going on with you I finally succumed to some sleep. It was while I was asleep when I finally received the answer for which I had been searching.
In the dream I saw my gran holding something, but I couldn't make it out. A I started to walk closer I could hear Gran talking to whatever she was holding. The closer I got the more I could see it was a baby and not just any baby, but my baby. The thing is Gran's been dead for nearly 15 years now. She died when I was in sixth grade of cancer, it's not possible for her to be here. Was this some type of omen that my baby was going to die too? All of sudden, Gran turns toward me and says, "We've been waiting for you". I look at her, then baby and wonder if this was God's way of taking not only our daughter but me away as well?
Gran starts giggling and tells me, "No child, you and Natalie will be fine. I'm just here to help you see what you haven't seen yet as well as to get a peek at my great-grand daughter. As dreams often do, they change, and we ended up back in the NICU. I noticed how Natalie was hooked up to all kinds of machines and not only is Gran with me but Edward is as well. The three of us watching as the newest member of our family struggled to survive. Gran gripped my hand and told me how God only gives you as much as you can handle.
"He gave you a miracle child because both you and Edward deserved her. You have both worked hard, have a loving home, and are two of the most caring people that I know. Just look at everything as a bump in the road, Bella. Have faith that the Lord will see not only you and Edward through this but Natalie as well. She's a fighter just like her momma." She smiled at me, setting me at ease. "Look at her," she whispered. I glanced back at my daughter to notice she's no longer struggling, instead she's trying to take herself off the breathing machine and pulling her iv's out.
I didn't remember anything else from the dream, but when I woke up I swear there was a faint smell of lilac in my room. I smiled, Gran always wore perfume hinted with lilac. Looking around the room, I noticed your dad was by the window, his back to me, and he was singing. I must've made a sound or something and when he turned, there you were in his arms. The smile on your dad's face let me know things were looking up.
The doctor came in later in the day and informed us that you were a fighter. If everything stayed looking good, you could come home sometime in the next two weeks, maybe even sooner. When I asked why he called you a fighter he shook his head and looked down on you. "Little miss here pulled the breathing tube off and successfully pulled out two of her iv's." Instantly my mind recalled the dream. A soft smile curled my lips and I sent a prayer of thanks to Gran.
Yes, God only gives us as much as he seems fit to give. But in those moments when we ask why he does, he will always give you a reply you just need to know what to look for. I haven't dreamt of Gran since then, but there has always been a faint lilac scent around the nursery. So I know she's watching over not only me but Natali as well. I was discharged two days later, and you little miss, came home on December 24. What a Christmas present.
Dawn's A/N: This story is a recollection somewhat of what I went through with my first born. Thanks for taking the time to read.
Thank you so much Dawn for your lovely story - and it being true - you did an amazing job! Thank you so much for sharing honey! Merry Christmas to you and your family sweets! Thank you also for sharing your true story with the sack!
-Tina and Amy