A/N: Whoever didn't see this (me having another mental breakdown over Finnick and Katniss) coming following the release of the Catching Fire was just kidding themselves. Evidently I'm still not over it and will likely never be over it. Also, I realize I wasn't supposed to interpret Atlas as a Finnick/Katniss song, but I always end up doing things I'm not supposed to, so no regrets.


we are not young (we never were)

i'll carry your world
and all your hurt
atlas ––coldplay


At the beginning, I know who we are and where we're going. I know there's a word for this pain, the specific kind that cuts away at my insides – insanity – but I don't know why you left me and I think I've forgotten where I'm going and what I'm doing here. I don't know who I am, let alone who I am without you. I don't understand why it had to turn out this way – the consequences of war, the price of rebellion – so all I can imagine myself saying if I see you again is Take me to the place where it won't hurt anymore. Take me there, and I promise you we will still burn the world to the ground, because that's what we were meant to do. There is nothing else, as we are nothing but old souls fighting for each breath to not be our last breath, running to stay alive to further a cause we never would have committed to when we were young. But we are not young, and we never were.


At the end, I beg Please don't forget that you promised if anything happened to me, you would take care of Annie. If I had been aware of how things were going to turn out, I would laugh, possibly joke about my son and your daughter falling in love and being happy one day. At least they now live in a world where they realistically could, and it's all because of you – not because of me, because I gave up too soon and too easily, but because of you consistently refusing to give up or let go. I'm positive you'll never let go, and it's going to kill you slowly, so I wish that I had held your hand at some point and told you to stop blaming yourself – none of it was your fault, most of it was inevitable – except I didn't, and now I recognize what regrets truly are. I remember when we could have been more than what we were, all the instances when you looked me in the eye and stated, I trust you even though you didn't, and when I close my eyes for the last time, all that is left of us is a lie. I shake my head, smile slightly as I do it – I care about you, a truth gone unsaid but one I long to believe you've never forgotten – and watch the world slip away. It still hurts. The memory of the flames is enough to cause me pain, but I rejoice in the knowledge that it's impossible you won't follow through on what we started. Our story was a war we never could have won, and yet I make it through knowing that when you're done, the world we were forced to grow up in will be reduced to nothing but ashes and dust.


In the middle, there's a girl with bright eyes that eventually lose their light, who turns frail because she's been left with no other choice. She is who I'm willing to sacrifice my own life for. I fight for her because I need to, because she deserves it. I fight for her because I think she's all I've got to fight for. Then comes crashing in a girl who radiates like the sun, who becomes the you in the you and I that can fit together in a sentence, can work together in a revolution, but could not appear together on the same page of a conclusion to a tale no one ever wants to hear because there's no us involved in it. She represents what I'm willing to die for. I fight for her because I want to, because I believe in tomorrow. I fight for her because she's the only fire in which I can bestow the remnants of my minimal hope. She shows me what I've inherently known but failed to admit – there's always another choice.


A/N: I'd appreciate reviews, but please don't favorite without reviewing!