Hi everyone! So…I wrote this on a whim tonight. I had no plan to write this, it just came to me as I was listening to Justin Timberlake's song Tunnel Vision.
…Yep, that's where I stole the title from. XD
Disclaimer: Totally Spies is not mine. I hate that fact, but it's true. :(
Anyway! Enjoy, I hope. :D
A deep breath was drawn in through deprived lungs as she stood there trying to catch her breath.
She had run all the way here just to see him, snuck her way through the heavily guarded prison and came to his cell just to do this.
Not because she wanted to…
Not just because she wanted to…
But because she HAD to.
She needed to do this as much as she needed oxygen to survive. There was no getting around it…it had to be done.
She needed closure.
That was the only way she was going to be able to live her life, live her life after-
She shook head hard, her long, crimson hair bobbing from side to side as she scolded herself not to think about that ever again. It was over; there was no going back. Her coming here, her doing this was not about re-opening that chapter no, it was about laying it to rest for good.
With that thought in mind she moved fast, soundlessly going over to where he lay on his uncomfortable prison bed with the ugly, gray blanket rolled down to his waist and one of his muscular arms tucked under his head trying to make up for the lack of a pillow.
And when she reached him she only hovered over him for a brief moment, staring at his handsome face; his high cheekbones, his tan skin, his structured jaw in the darkness for just a small moment-
Before she leaned down and quickly took his lips in a kiss.
But as she pulled away from him undetected about ten seconds later, she didn't feel that fire within her that had been raging ever since she'd gained her crush on him go out like a flame once it was snubbed after kissing him as she'd expected.
As she'd hoped.
Instead she felt it growing with her rapidly,
Like a wildfire.
Kissing him had only stoked the embers and turned them into roaring flames of inextinguishable desire.
She ignored it, turning around and rapidly walking away from him.
But as she did that, as she left him behind still sleeping in his cell… she couldn't help the question that immediately consumed her.
She found herself wondering if she'd ever be able to get him out of her system,
Ever truly be able to get over him.
Biting her lip she answered herself, determined that she would.
She had to,
there was no other way.
Yes she would get over him,
Her hand raised itself and touched her lips and it was almost like she could feel the kiss she'd stolen there just like a guilty thief felt the weight of their stolen goods in her hands as they made their narrow escape.
Like a coward….
Afraid of what her mind was starting to tell her, she dismissed that thought and quickly started to run.
She ran as fast and as hard as she could, as fast as her legs could carry her without even stopping to breathe until she was so far away from him that she could pretend she'd never gone to him tonight.
And she never looked back.
3 years later
He had done it again; he'd just made another masterful attempt at taking WOOHP down, blowing it down to the ground. He had just done another thing to make her despise him to no end, hate him with a never-ending passion.
But as she stood there ready to help her friends take him on one more time, before their fight began, she found her question from when she'd first met him, when she'd first had that crush that she had burned, ripped up and buried, had shovelled pounds of dirt upon it's grave so it would never ever resurface, done everything in her power to forget…come back to haunt her.
The one she had thought she had answered all those years ago about her being able to get over her one-sided crush on him that night she had gotten her closure.
Would she ever be able to get him out of her system?
Amidst her rage at what he'd done, her annoyance at having to put her life on hold and run after him again in the middle of the night, her discomfort at being up way past her bedtime - in between all that she felt something else, something stronger, something much, much deeper.
It was fluttering.
And as much as it pained her she knew that, that crush she had once had on him, the same one which she had celebrated the death anniversary of time and time again thinking herself to have conquered it…
She still had it.
Had it despite everything. Despite him having tried to kill her no less than three times in these three years, despite him coming to represent everything that she should hate; easily becoming the epitome of it-
She still loved him.
Well…she knew why.
It was like deep inside her, she couldn't see he was a criminal. That he was her enemy, that he was evil…
All she saw was him.
Him, Tim Scam.
Tim Scam the man.
The man without the titles,
All the negative titles she had branded, the world had classified him with.
All she saw was his face, his eyes, his lips.
The same lips from which she had stolen a kiss all those years ago to try and get over him.
How could she be so stupid?
Thinking it would be so easy to wipe the slate clean? To be done with him?
But for some odd reason she wasn't upset, instead something inside her clicked into place like a missing piece completed a puzzle as she realized that.
And suddenly the last few years of her life made sense.
The last three years…
Life after Tim Scam, which for her could be a designation she could use to label the recent years of her life in itself , like others used BC, Before Christ and AD, Anno Domini…
Because her life had never been the same after meeting him.
It was like a lightening bolt had struck her soul and she had been blinded ever since looking into those sea foam eyes of his.
All she saw was him everywhere.
In David's face,
In Dean's face,
In James' face…
In so many faces,
So many that she couldn't even keep count.
But she'd never found true love, true peace with any of them…
How could she when they were only hollow copies of the original?
She could deny it all she wanted, till she was 80 and he was 92 but…
It wouldn't change a thing.
She could see it now, her future; her sitting lonely at a place she'd call home, married or unmarried, lonely nonetheless as no other man would ever make her feel the way he did without even trying.
It was impossible,
Because of HER.
Who was she kidding?
She didn't want anyone else.
No matter how smart or nice or sweet or loving…
And that was why no one ever lasted with her.
Why no one was able to really win her heart.
Now she knew why that was.
That answer to her mystery.
And it wasn't because she was too picky or unrealistic or demanding.
It was because she didn't have her heart to lose anymore.
It was gone.
And once your heart was gone it was gone…
She didn't have it left to give to anyone else anymore because HE had it,
had it in his iron clutch.
She was never getting it back.
He'd stolen it like the thief he was.
She could scream and cry and complain,
she could deny and play dumb and say no…
But it was futile.
He had her.
He had her good.
"He's never getting out of my system…" she thought, re-answering her question of three years past correctly this time as she sealed her eyes and nodded to herself, accepting her defeat.
This loss came easy for her.
Funny for a girl who never liked to lose.
But it did.
Strange as it was,
Crazy as it was,
It just did.
Because when it came to him,
It seemed she had tunnel vision.
Serious tunnel vision.
Her dignity, her pride, her rules, her sense of right and wrong, black and white, her morals- nothing else mattered.
And it seemed they never would.
30 years into the future.
She somehow stopped loving him; stopped secretly wanting him with every fibre of her being, stopped wanting to kiss him, touch him, tell him how much she loved him, stopped wanting to make love to him, wanting to make him hers in every possible known way.
Could she ever manage that? Could that ever be?
Deciding to try her luck, she opened her eyes and glanced at him as he stood before her with his hands in the pockets of his black coat, smirking.
And her eyes glazed over immediately, losing focus of everything else except for one thing.
His face, his eyes, those lips….
….A shaky breath left her as she kept staring at him never wanting to look away.
Could she ever stop wanting him?
Her question floated around in her mind for a few long moments before the voice in her heart answered it.
The voice of truth.
Could she get over him?
But not in this lifetime.
This turned out somewhat poetic I think. Why am I always poetic in the middle of the night, lol?
Anyway! :P I'm not really expecting a lot of reviews/favs for this since it's just my randomness in written form but some reaction from you guys would be nice. So if you have some time left after reading this, please do drop me a line. :D
And now I find myself wondering what if Scam had noticed Sam kissing him that night and she hadn't gotten away undetected as she believes she has… XD *insert evil giggle*
That could lead into a longer story…if anyone wants it of course lol. So let me know! And oh yea, more stories/updates soon!
Cresenta's Lark :)