Summary: When a freaky, strikingly realistic statue of Javik comes to life and burns a vision in my brain, the next thing I know my life is a hectic whirlwind of aliens, I'm sinking neck-deep in trouble and my hobby is now running away from angry krogans. Self-insert.


I bounce on the balls of my feet, eyes peering around the boy in front of me.

Said male looks ready to faint. His wide and gleeful green eyes are fixating on the entrance to the huge new shop, his slender fingers clenching tightly on his fancy N7 shoulder bag that I instantly wish I have. He's sweating and grinning so widely it looks like it actually hurts.

I can hear murmured chatter all blending into each other. They all look ready to run up the walls of the gigantic place. Generally as a rule of thumb, I didn't particularly like crowds but today, I might join them in their horde. I'm ready to throw my purse at the stands already, spying things that I didn't know existed.

I fidget and play with the hem of my zipped up hoodie. It's a great day for Mass Effect fans. A large store is opening and consisting of anything and everything to do with the franchise. Gun replicas, realistic size ship models with tours, incredibly awesome cosplay, weird holograms, you name it.

My heart is racing in my chest, I honestly can't wait. As soon as those doors open I'm going to slip by everyone else and bolt in. That's if the geeky looking boy in front of me doesn't get there first, though he doesn't look like the fast runner type… my eyes flicker to his gut. He doesn't look like he exercises much.

The air is suddenly thick with anticipation and suspense as the doors above the entrance on a balcony open with an echoing thud, silencing the people. The silhouette of a man is walking out when a spotlight reveals him. He stands there, gaze scanning over us. For a moment, my heart skips a beat when our eyes briefly lock. He has piercingly cold and red contacts, almost lighting up behind the thin material like they're really synthetic. He smiles charmingly, white teeth almost baring threateningly at me. A small shiver rips through me as a feeling of unease prickles the back of my neck and raises goosebumps. I shrug it off as the cold, it is winter after all.

"Ladies and gentleman!" He greets then takes a pause, arms open as if to hug us all. Unlikely, unless he's Mr. Fantastic. Well, he has the same intellectual kind of air as Dr. Reed except less superhero vibes and more a villain persona, but still... "Welcome... to Universal!" Cheers siren at his words. I try to be one of the loudest. "I hope you all enjoy yourselves, and have a lot of money because we all know you're going to want to buy everything."

There's chuckles in the crowd before he takes another step forward, opening his arms again but this time it's in sync with the doors as they also spread open. "Girls and boys! Madams and sirs! Stay in your line, go on in and buy your tickets!"

The massive group of fanboys and fangirls forms like a swarm of bees as they lunge inside, I'm swimming through the people. It's chaotic but eventually crowd control kicks in and security guards separate us into different cues. When I pay for my ticket, the nice lady dressed as an asari stamps my hand and I skip happily to the main hall.

Glancing below my knuckles, I see a light blue logo of the new Universal store. The imprint of a picture with a mass relay, tiny letters crediting Bioware on the left, and the almost smudging, soft, blue trail of the Normandy ship going through the mass relay, behind it saying 'Universal'. It's cool and I want to savor this moment. I pop off the lens cap, placing it safely in my camera bag, then snap a shot.

Excellent.

Grinning, I venture forth.

The expression of happiness is wiped from my face as someone roughly knocks their shoulder into me and I stumble forward to fall on the ground with a splutter of surprise. What an arseho-

Stopping mid-thought as I look up, I see that they dropped something while in such a rush (not apologising, may I add) and blink in befuddlement. It looks like something to do with Mass Effect and considering where I am, that's not a surprise. The object is metal and circular with a few glowing purple and blue lights around the outer edge. In the middle, there's one singular weird green light. A prickling at the back of my neck urges me to pick it up, and before I know what I'm doing my hand is reaching out to do just that.

What is this?

Standing up, I conflict with if I should keep it or give it back to the person who apparently descends from elephants. I turn towards where the person ran too and saw a door, left open slightly. It says 'Staff only' and I purse my lips in doubt before slowly walking away. Maybe I should just keep it…

I express a sigh, fingers fiddling with the object.

No, I'll go to the counter like any normal, good Samaritan. If I lost something after purchasing it, I would be devastated too. My narrowed gaze stares down at the device for a moment. The sooner I return you, the sooner I can buy my omni-tool.

Taking the object, I march my way to the reception so I can leave this on the counter for the annoying dick to come pick it up from lost property. There's not a lot of people lining up so I stand there tapping my foot impatiently, eagerly wanting to leave. If I don't do this now, I won't want to do it later because by the time I'm done with this place it will be shut.

It feels like forever when I finally get to the desk. A satisfied smile slides onto my face as I open my mouth, only for the receptionist to put up a sign which makes my heart sink in disappointment. Closed. Back in Half an hour. It has a smiley face underneath it and I gently bash my knuckles on the glass with annoyance flaring inside of me. The man in a cool quarian suit looks up and shakes his head, pointing to the break sign.

I hold up the foreign object. "Can you at least take-"

"I'm sorry but I haven't eaten since last night, if I serve you, then the person behind you will want to be served as well." He monotonously spoke, eyeing me from his desk.

"But I just want to-"

"Come back in half an hour." He dismissively, and rudely, shuts the metal blinds, ceiling my view from him.

Clenching my hands, I inhale deeply and exhale before leaving. Fine. He doesn't want to help me. I'll do it myself. Quickly. Shaking my head in disbelief as I start to walk towards where I know trouble will get me, I figure I can just explain myself truthfully; just trying to return something.

My eyes flitter around as I open the staff door even more, I slip in unnoticed and hope I'm not on a security camera even though it seems unlikely with this many people in one place at a store. Oh god, I'm gonna be in so much trouble when I get spotted by the guards. Even kicked out for trespassing.Trespassing. Why am I trespassing for someone I don't even know? I'm a moron.

I turn right into another corridor, feeling a little lost as I look around. I also glance over my shoulder every now and then, nervous that someone will see me in an area that I don't belong in. I might as well have a goddamn neon sign above my head that says "Intruder".

I have to admit, I'm surprised that literally just waltzing in here doesn't trigger some kind of alarm. You'd think they would have a lot better security, being a new shop with a ton of cool stuff that's worth stealing- Ahem, you didn't hear that from me.

The slash of a shadow in the corner of my sight brings me out of my thoughts.

I spin around. No one is there but I cautiously make my way towards that direction, pressing my lips together. My hair sways behind me as I start to jog down another corridor. The same thing happens again and keeps happening, the endless cycle continues almost insistently. I feel like Alice as I keep chasing what seems to be the equivalent to the late rabbit.

Panting for breath as I finally reach the end of one hallway, I lean my hands on my knees. My gaze examines the ajar open door cynically but I stand up straight. Lightly placing my palm on the metal surface, I push it open with a groan and step inside. The room is swallowed in blackness. I feel for a switch on the left side of the wall before trying to find one of the other side but when the door behind me opens a certain amount, sudden blinding light burns into my eyes.

Blinking as my vision adjusts through the immediate lighting, I scan around. It's circular, very tall, very spacious. The source of an orange glow being was glass orbs indented into the golden walls. But what catches my attention is what's in the center of the whole room.

A metal prothean statue.

Breath catching in my throat, I slowly approach it with widening eyes. It stands a lot taller than my 5'4. The prothean looks to be in a defeated kind of position. His thick and layered carapace is bowing down with his head. It's coloured in a pale blue, splattered with tiny yellow spots. The two pairs of eyes he has are shut tightly, his three sets of nostrils almost flaring. His weird hands are clenching and I notice that he has the typical three fingers a prothean has. His feet have two-widely-spaced twos. It's certainly strange but beautiful. Who made this? I wonder if this is for sale.

My mouth pulls down into a frown. If it's for sale, why is is all the way back here? Is it the only one in stock? I peer closer. Now that I think about it, it kinda reminds me of Javik-

The object in my hand glimmers.

I freeze and look down at it.

I let out a scream when his head sharply snaps up, his two pairs of eyes beaming golden as they piercingly look into my nonplussed face. I fumble onto the ground as I look back up at him with a gaping mouth.

"What the fuck-?!" I finally shriek in disbelief, my voice reverberating off the golden walls in the rotunda. Well, at least I know where to go when I want to build a bat cave, this place is fancy and humongous.

Getting back to the present and away from my random train of thought:

An alive non-fictional prothean is in front of me.

It apparently gets better.

The statue speaks.

Not in any language I understand. Of course I can't fathom a word he's saying. I'm obviously insane and have formed another reality inside of my mind where it can be lucid. Unless I'm dreaming, the shop itself seems to be from a dream that I'd have. That, if I'm honest, is the most likely...

Then it gets worse.

It moves.

Towards me.

Ho-ly shit.

My hands are trembling, my body shaking in fear as I stay in the same spot. I'm petrified to the point where my limbs are stone, it's made me the statue instead. Like we've swapped roles. The hairs on my arms raise, the back of my neck sharply prickles as apprehension crawls across like a hairy spider. A shudder rips through me, waking me from my shocked trance. Holy shit. He's still coming towards me. I need to run. I need to stand up. Move! God dammit!

I snap out of my reverie and start crawling backwards, all while dropping the forgotten object that has lead me here in the first place, as I try to get to my feet. Scrambling and tripping, I run to the door only to realize I'm locked in here. Horror tears into me. He stiffly walks forward, one step at a time his footsteps becoming more fluid.

My fist is thrown out in a last minute attempt to defend myself but he effortlessly blocks it, grabbing a hold of my wrist and violently yanking me forward so hard I collapse to my knees with a yell of pain. His hand on me is like iron- fuck it is literally an iron grip. It burns tighter when he clenches his metal grasp. Ow. Ow. Ow. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Tears slide down my cheeks despite how much I don't want them there. He forces my arm behind my back in a strong hold and I swat pathetically at him with my other arm, only for that to be restrained too. My head is being unwillingly tilted up and a deep unnerving feeling of unease claws in the pit of my gut. Holy. Shit.

His shining, harsh orange eyes are intense as they burn into mine. His maw opens widely, light breaking out of his mouth. A flash of blurry images plays in my eyes but it's too difficult to concentrate on them right now. My brain is on fire and the electric blazes and rushes through my blood. My body begins to thrash. I realize that a high pitched, pained shriek is dragging in the air.

I fall face down on the cold, hard ground as my vision starts to cloud with black stars. Agony explodes in my head as a fog starts to flood through my mind. I then register where the scream coming from. My throat becomes hoarse and hot with pain.

It's me.

It's me who was screaming.

An unfamiliar language speaks to my mind coldly as my eyes droop heavily. The last thing I see is the device faintly glowing from across the room.


Yes, I edited it.

My brain is screaming over the cringe of what I used to write. I'm tripping over adjectives. I tried to keep it similar so nothing is completely scrapped and edited in my current style a little.

I won't let this fic die.

~E