I'm a completely horrible person for coming out of my hiatus with a small chapter fic for a new fandom instead of continuing my stories like I should. But I have to do something to get out of my general writer's block, right?

Hoozah, I found a new fandom to terrorize with gender bending and cross dressing! Honestly, there was a time I didn't like it at all, I'm a strong fan of yaoi/slash. I only started liking this genre after my inner sadist started coming out, and found out that - although it is a stereotypical genre for fanfiction and fanart - it's actually quite hard to find genderbender stories! So hereby I can mark my third fandom with genderbender/crossdress :D

Warnings: Sexual themes up to full smut, genderbending, cursing (duh?), lots of typos and probably just some lacking in English itself too (this is not beta'd, I'm not a native speaker, and it seems Word auto-correct has died on me)

They are all older in this fic, but depending on where you're from you might still think this is sex among minors. So be warned.

And of course, South Park and its characters do not belong to me.

A little present

He woke up to the blaring sound of his alarm clock.

Kyle jumped and groaned, reaching out to hit the button to make the noise stop. Fuck, he never slept long enough to hear the damn thing actually go off.

He slowly pushed himself up, groaning again for the pain in his head. It felt like they constructed a highway in his head last night, and the wastes of it were directly stirring his stomach in an attempt to escape. He managed to get upright, clumsily dropping to the side of his hip to turn himself off the bed.

Something didn't feel quite right.

He rubbed his fingers against his temples, then pressed them on his closed eyes. He hated hang-overs. In fact, he hated them so much he usually avoided them.

When he finally pried his eyes open against the white expanse of his own skin and sheets, he faintly noticed something was off again. Normally he saw lots of sheets, and a bit of skin. He was scrawny enough, and it was rare for him to pass out in just his boxers to begin with. But even for a morning to wake up in his boxers, there was still too much skin to be seen from this angle.

His eyes flew open when he identified exactly what he saw, which he couldn't see, which was absolutely no fucking way right there on his chest.

And the screech he let out as he toppled back in a futile attempt to get away from it was definitely as masculine as it should have been.

He scrambled off his bed to his closet, opening the door with a little too much force to reveal the mirror on the inside. A sound like a sob escaped him when yes, that was a woman he was seeing.

The fuck!?

Pain shot through his head and he made the funny sobbing sound again, clenching his teeth to make the pathetic noise stop. In front of him was not the scrawny teen he was used to look at. Fair enough, it was still scrawny, but now equipped with a generous rack and flaring hips. The cold in his room made his breasts perky and they seemed to point at him accusingly.

He jumped and squeaked to the sound of his cell phone. It had to ring twice before his brain reconnected and he dove for the thing, pressing the button.

"Dude, are you okay?"

"What the fuck happened?" He screeched in the phone, immediately regretting as pain shot through his head again.

"Ow, dude," Stan complained, "please leave my hearing intact. Besides, I want to know what happened! You never drink on school nights, how come I found you all drunk and passing out on me as early as ten o'clock yesterday?"

"Drunk?" Kyle breathed in surprise, "Dude, I had nothing but juice yesterday!" He frowned. No he didn't. He had juice, and that fizzy soft drink Kenny had passed him.

"So you're not hung-over or anything?"

He winced. "Fuck. I'm way more than just hung-over."

"You gonna be okay? You want me to skip school and come over?"

"No. No, don't worry. I'll see you at school."

"You sure Kyle? You don't sound too good, like all squeaky and stuff. I don't want you spend the day puking in the nurse's office."

"What's necessary is necessary. I gotta come over and kill Kenny, because whatever happened yesterday, I'm pretty sure it's because of the drink he gave me."

"Seriously? Dude, how many times do I need to tell you not to take anything from Kenny at a party?"

"Shut up Stan," he growled. He pressed the button, disconnecting the call. He swore under his breath, looking down and the two breasts in all their wobbly perky glory. Who else than Kenny?

He pulled a shirt from his closet, cursing when he had to struggle to get it down his breasts. He growled again, now getting more desperate. The fabric pulled taut over his front, his nipples shooting out like bullets. This was so humiliating.

He pulled it off and searched the widest shirt he could find from his closet. Even this one stretched over his breasts, but he no longer looked like he was bursting out of his shirt. To his surprise he also needed his biggest pair of jeans, which he only had because someone gave it to him several sizes too big. Was he really that scrawny, normally?

Pulling his thick green coat on he hurried to the bathroom first, evading contact with the rest of his family.

Only to get the next shock.

He wailed another curse, turning around to sit on the fucking toilet. He was going to kill Kenny. He was going to kill him so bad.

"Good morning Kyle," His mother greeted him as he flew down the stairs.

"Morning Mom. Sorry, in a hurry, overslept." He snatched a toast from the table and hurried outside, glad he was quick enough to keep his mother from noticing anything off. He scurried down the road, opting to go by foot instead of waiting for the bus. He shouldn't have been in a hurry, it was still half an hour until the bus would arrive. But it was nice time to walk to school so fresh air could numb his headache, and contemplate how to murder Kenny.

By the time he reached the school, the bus had already arrived. He had been surprised with his struggle to get the long walk over with. Maybe he was a bit too much out of shape, or perhaps it was because of the recent changes. Either way, he really needed to take a leak.

More importantly though, was stalking straight towards his two friends and grab Kenny's parka, smashing him against the lockers.

"Dude," Kenny squeaked out in surprise.

"What the hell did you do?!" Kyle was fuming and shook Kenny by his parka, ignoring the strain on his arms telling him he wouldn't be able to hold out for long.

"What? What did I do?" Kenny looked stunned.

"What did you give me yesterday!"

"Kyle, chill," Kenny tried to pry Kyle's fingers off him, "I dunno. Some sort of soda."

"Some… what?" Kyle backed away confused.

"Soda, I think. Look dude, it was a fluke. I was trying to get that bartender girl to you, but she disappeared, ok?"

Kyle gaped. "I… What the fuck are you talking about?"

Kenny sighed, rolling his eyes. "Yesterday there was this really hot chick at the bar. She had this really dark red hair, and I thought, fuck, that one is just made for my buddy Kyle. So I went to her and ordered two drinks, pointing at you and saying that you were totally too hot without alcohol already." Kyle flushed dark red and his fingers tensed in Kenny's parka, but he allowed the guy to continue speaking. "So she gave me this lecherous grin and passed me two drinks, filling one up a little more and telling me to give that to you. So I did, and then I looked around to point her out to you and she was gone! I mean, she was just behind the bar! So I decided to look for her first and then tell you about her, but she had completely vanished and by the time I gave up and came looking for you, you guys had already left. Dude, you guys could've warned me."

"Kyle had passed out on me, I didn't have much choice," Stan shrugged it off as if it was no big deal.

Kyle's head swum in confusion. What the hell? If it wasn't the drink Kenny gave him, then what was it? He had been on just juice until that moment, and only after that drink he apparently passed out. So this strange woman had drugged him then? But what kind of drug turns a guy into a woman?

Did he get a weird-ass roofie from a lesbian or something?

"Kyle!" Kenny gargled and Kyle noticed himself trying to strangle Kenny now. Well, the fucker deserved it.

"Kyle, calm down!" Stan managed to pry him off the hooded teen and swirled him around to face him. "You're getting carried away! Ok, so apparently this woman spiked your drink, or slipped you something or whatever. But it's not Kenny's fault, ok? You're fine now, aren't you?"

Kyle pouted and nodded, but Stan's eyes suddenly widened.


"What?" He asked a bit too aggressively.

"Did something happen to your face…?"

"My face?" Kyle lifted his hands in surprise, touching his cheekbones. "What about it?"

"I dunno… It seems different. Like more…" He suddenly let go and stepped back from Kyle. "Nevermind."

"Nevermind?" Kyle's eyes narrowed into a glare, "what the fuck? What is it Stan?"

"Nah, it's nothing." He was trying to scoot away subtly, but not being very successful. Only now Kyle noticed Kenny had already managed to make himself scarce, leaving Stan completely alone to his wrath.

"Tell me now Stan! I thought we were friends! What's wrong with my face?"

"Dude, we're totally friends, but I want to live to be a little older than seventeen, ok?"

"Wha…? What is that supposed to mean?"

"That the best word I can come up with to describe the change is going to make you kill me. Painfully. So I'd really rather not."

Kyle blinked, before it dawned on him. This morning he had been too preoccupied by the bigger changes in his body to notice something else. But seeing Stan's reaction, he supposed his face might have changed a little too.

"You weren't thinking of the word 'girly', were you?" He asked sadly.

"Uhm… I would've gone for 'feminine', but yeah." Stan scooted away a little further.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Aren't we already?"

"I mean in private, asswipe." Kyle stalked off to the bathrooms, followed by a confused Stan. Of course he was confused, they were going to be late for class like this and it wasn't like Kyle to instigate that at all.

When Stan closed the bathroom door behind them, Kyle opened his coat. Stan just gaped.

"This. This is why I'm so fucking angry about that drink Kenny gave me."

"Dude," Stan breathed. He absentmindedly reached out, cupping one of Kyle's breasts with his hand.

"The fuck?" Kyle slapped his hand away, "Just because I got boobs now doesn't mean you get to touch them whenever you like!"

"Is that…?" Stan's gaze trailed down curiously.

Kyle squeezed his legs together and huffed. "Yeah. It's not just the front, it's changed down there too."

"Holy fucking cow."

"My point exactly."

"Your boobs are huge!"

Kyle smacked him over the head. "Thanks a lot for your support, moron! Instead of drooling all over my new additional body parts, maybe you could find the grace to help me come up with an idea on what to do about this shit? I can't walk around like this!"

"You definitely need a bra."

"Fuck you!"

"Dude, your nipples look like they're about to pierce through your shirt. You gotta get a bra."

"Are you insane? I'm not going to wear girl's underwear! I want it to disappear, not to outline better in my shirt!"

"How are you going to make them disappear then?"

"I dunno, that's why I'm asking you for help!"

"Well, I don't know either, so in the mean time you better take care of them properly." Kyle had to slap Stan's wandering hand again. "I mean, fuck, letting those sag because you are too prudish to wear a bra is a sin, dude."

"Talking to you is completely pointless." Kyle huffed and turned around, locking himself in a cubicle.

"Kyle?" Stan sounded confused.

"Can I take a piss, or do you need to hold my boobs so they don't get wet?" He snapped.

"You mean you seriously… I mean, you are completely a girl now?"

"Fuck off!"

"With a vagina and everything?"

Kyle kicked the door of the cubicle and he could hear Stan jump.

"Ok, ok. I'll go to class before I'm seriously late. I'm gonna help you dude, don't worry."

"Sure you do," He muttered angrily, hearing Stan leave the bathrooms. He cursed and finished, closing his thick jacket over his front to make the bulge barely visible, before hurrying to his class. The teacher let him off with the excuse he wasn't feeling too well and he had been in the bathroom, probably mainly because he was still his best student.

Time seemed to drag on until the first break. He had the feeling several of the girls were giving him curious looks, and he was pretty sure that in the class he shared with Cartman, the fatass hadn't taken his eyes off him even once.

Cartman trailed after him curiously when he hurried to the front hallway where he always met up with Stan and Kenny for the break. Even though Cartman didn't hang out with them as often as he used to, he was still a common addition to their group. Probably just so he could piss of Kyle, not because he was interested in being friends with Stan or Kenny. When they were doing actual fun things, it was usually just the three of them.

"Piss off," he hissed at Cartman when the guy loomed over him in the hallway jammed with students.

"But Kahl, you look so very interesting today," Cartman told him in a way Kyle wasn't completely sure if it was sarcastic or actually curious.

"Go bully someone else, fatass. I'm really not in the mood for you today."

"Ey! I'm not fat, stupid Jew!"

Kyle rolled his eyes and sneaked through a tiny space between students, making smart use the fact his profile was at least twice as thin as Cartman's, even with the bosom now actually filling his large jacket.

He managed to lose Cartman, and when he reached Stan and Kenny he was immediately pulled out the door by his best friend. They walked to the back of the school, their usual hangout place because of the rare quiet.

"Kyle, I promised I'd help you, and I did!"

Kyle facepalmed as Stan flung a large black bra from his backpack.

"Dude, how'd ya get Bebe's bra?" Kenny asked astonished.

"I don't want to know why you immediately recognise it, and I don't want the bra itself either," Kyle growled, "I told you I didn't care about maintenance, I want them gone, asap!"

"Dude, you can't just leave them hanging!"

"You wanna bet?"

Stan looked scandalized. "What kind of man are you? Those need to be taken care of!"

"Seriously, guys," Kenny interrupted, "how did you get Bebe's bra, and what exactly is it supposed to take care of?"

"Kyle's boobs!" Stan blurted out before Kyle could stop him.

Kenny snorted while Kyle fumed. "Kyle's boobs? He's so scrawny he wouldn't get boobs if he gained thirty pounds! Especially not in a D-cup." As if to make his point, he casually flapped his hand onto Kyle's chest, freezing as the coat didn't give way as much as it was supposed to. "Holy shit."

"Get off," Kyle once again smacked hands away from his breasts, but Kenny was not easily deterred. The blonde swung himself in front of Kyle to take firm grip of both breasts in his hands, squeezing experimentally.

"Get the fuck off!" Kyle pushed Kenny away from him completely, but even then he wasn't impressed. He turned to Stan and eyed the bra in the jock's hand.

"Dude, you have a good eye on sizes."

"I got to feel too, I just had to ask Bebe what size it was that fit like that in my hand."

Kenny sniggered, but Kyle had gone as red as he could get by now.

"Screw you guys," he screeched, wincing at how girly that came out. He turned on his heel and started walking off, only to be stopped by Stan's hand on his arm.

"Kyle, don't be angry." He gave him a smile so sincere Kyle's heart flopped and melted a little, even through his rage. "I really want to help, but you shouldn't let your body go to waste just because you don't want it like this. For all we know this is permanent."

Kyle froze on the spot, watching Stan's serious face in shock. He hadn't thought about that. What if it was permanent? Would he have to live the rest of his life as a girl? How was he going to explain his mother? And everyone in school? People were not going to be happy by the revelation of him being a girl. How would he explain he wasn't a girl all along?

"Seriously dude, Stan's right," Kenny told him seriously, "You got a gift from God there, you have to take care of it. How many guys get to have boobs like that? Damn, jacking off must be heaven for you now."

"Shut up," he wheezed, tired of screaming the same thing over and over again to his two supposedly best friends. His best friends, who turn out to be both perverts instead of just one, and would prefer to feel him up instead of helping him to get rid of the problem.

"How about a deal," Stan thrust the bra towards him again, "you take proper care of your body, even though you're a girl now, then I'll try my best to help you find the way to get you back the way you were."

"I don't want Kyle to get back the way he was," Kenny muttered, still eying his front as if he could see the outline through the thick coat.

"You were the one to give him the drink that started it, so you better help fix it," Stan told Kenny menacingly, placating Kyle in the process. So Stan honestly meant to help him, if he just got his little guilty pleasure of putting Kyle in a bra too. He supposed that was as good as it was going to get, and he couldn't honestly mind the attention. He didn't like the idea of wearing a bra – Bebe's bra – but if that was what Stan wanted so badly, then so be it.

It wasn't like he had ever been able to resist those puppy eyes.

He unzipped his coat unceremoniously. Kenny practically started drooling and Kyle turned his back to them with a huff.

"You're gonna change here?" Stan asked incredulously.

"There's nobody around anyway," Kyle said matter-of-factly, pulling his shirt over his head.

"Oh yes baby," Kenny growled, and Kyle could feel him stepping closer. He pressed the shirt against his front and turned slightly with his hand outstretched to Stan. The raven blinked dumbly for a moment before noticing Kyle's curling fingers and thrusting the bra in his hands.

"Seriously, guys," he spat, "stop drooling already! It's still me you know? Doesn't that gross you out in the slightest?"

The two simultaneously shook their heads, not averting their eyes from his barely hidden front. Kyle grew red again, suddenly regretting changing here in the open. Changing in front of his friends never had been a problem, apart from the occasional lecture on his weight and musculature, but this was plain awkward.

He tried slipping on the bra without letting either of them actually see him, but that turned out to be more difficult than he anticipated.

"Fuck," he cursed, struggling to get the straps together on his back.

"Dude, if you ever tried opening a bra, you should have realised closing one would be equally difficult."

Kyle gave Stan his most murderous glare, making the raven step back quickly. Stan knew perfectly well Kyle had never tried opening one.

"I'll help you," Kenny oh so generously offered, "hold still." Kyle hissed, but allowed Kenny to take hold of the garment. Kenny pulled the straps together and easily clicked it shut, then reached around to fix the position of the cups on his breasts.

"Kenny," Kyle growled dangerously as the blonde made extra certain he was satisfied with the fit of the bra.

"Fits perfectly," Kenny quickly covered up, pulling his hands back innocently. Kyle struggled back into his shirt and quickly shrugged his coat on, suppressing a shiver.

"How does it feel to have a rack like Bebe's?" Kenny grinned at him.

"Sort of heavy on my back," Kyle answered honestly, making Kenny blink in surprise. "Now are we done having fun at my expense?"

"Well..." Stan shifted uncomfortably, "not quite."

"What do you mean, 'not quite'?" Kyle glared.

"I had to promise Bebe she could see the bra she lent me in action."

Kenny doubled over in laughter while Kyle gaped. "Dude, you get Bebe to fondle you only after you turn into a girl! Your luck totally sucks ass Kyle!"

"Why'd you promise something like that?!" Kyle screeched.

"I needed the bra for you!"

"I don't want the entire school to know!"

"Then tell Bebe she can't touch unless she swears silence."

"Why would she want to touch?" Kyle was starting to feel light-headed.

"I dunno, she said she did."

"I totally wanna watch this," Kenny sniggered, "come on, let's go find Bebe."

"No way!" Kyle planted his heels in the ground when Kenny started to pull him forward.


To Kyle's utter mortification, Kenny didn't have to pull him back into the school. Wendy's sweet voice sounded just before she and her blonde friend turned around the corner.

"There you are," Bebe said in delight, "I thought you'd be somewhere else to get your girlfriend dressed."

"Uhm, yeah. I didn't have to go somewhere else," Stan muttered, shooting nervous glances at the fuming redhead beside him.

"So where's the girl? You promised me I could see." She wriggled her fingers, indicating something that was definitely not just looking with her eyes.

"Well, you see Bebe," Kenny quickly rounded her, putting an arm over her shoulders as if she were a comrade, or a partner in crime, "the girl in question is a little shy. So shy, in fact, that we need your honest word that you don't tell anyone about her."

"You're trying to say?" Bebe asked suspiciously, "you can totally not back down on our promise Stan!"

"No no no," Kenyy patted her shoulder, "you can see. But if you promise, across your heart, that you will not tell a soul, you can also touch freely." He made a dramatic gesture. "Even I don't get to do that."

"Of course you don't," Wendy snorted.

"You get to touch too if you promise to shush," Kenny gave a conspirational wink.

"I don't want to touch, I can keep quiet just because she wants me too."

"I don't," Bebe said, slipping from under Kenny's arm, "I won't tell anyone about this if I get to touch, otherwise the entire school will know who Stan's new girlfriend is, and that she forgot to wear a bra even though she's got quite the size."

Kyle groaned in despair and Stan gave him an apologetic look.

Wendy and Bebe blinked in confusion.

"I don't actually have a new girlfriend," Stan corrected slowly, "it's more like… a new… female… friend?"

"Let's not make the ladies wait," Kenny swooped around Kyle with flair, quickly circling his arms around his scrawny figure and zipping his coat open for the two girls to see. Kyle's face immediately flamed red and the girls' jaws dropped.

"Let go," he struggled slightly, forcing his coat closed again.

"It was a promise though."

Kyle growled at Kenny, knowing it was futile by the entranced look on Bebe's face as she stepped forward, reaching out to touch just like Stan and Kenny before her. The best Kyle could do now was to take it as dignified as possible as he let the blonde fondle his breasts.

"This is amazing!" She blurted, squeezing them delicately. "These are completely real! How did you do that?"

"I don't know. I don't care. What I want to know is how to get rid of them."

He squeaked and jumped back as Bebe suddenly cupped his crotch without reservation.

"You're completely a girl!" She exclaimed in astonishment, before being shushed by Stan. She ignored him and turned to Wendy indignantly. "It's not fair! How does he get to have a hot ass both as a man and a woman? And that rack! Damn!"

"It would be better if he actually wanted a hot ass and an impressive rack," Wendy smiled slightly, still focused on Kyle's breasts with confused eyes.

"Well, if you want to come over for girl's stuff, you're welcome anytime," Bebe winked flirtatiously, "I can't wait to get that ass in a miniskirt!"

"And your promise?" Kyle asked with a small voice.

"I'll stay silent." Bebe looked thoughtful for a moment. "No, I want a better deal. This is huge news, just getting to touch is a way too low price for keeping my mouth shut. I'll stay silent if you come over tomorrow evening and let me dress you up, and we go out to a bar."

Kyle squeaked. "That's not fair! You promised!"

"I felt swindled."

"B-but, I don't want people to know!" He curled his arms around himself, giving her his best distressed face.

Her face softened to a sympathetic look. "Ok, I'll be fair. I'll make sure you get such a make-over nobody will recognise you. That better?"

"A little," he whispered dejectedly.

"Don't worry Kyle," Stan patted his shoulder, "you only have to survive today and tomorrow until the weekend, and after going out with Bebe you have the whole weekend to stay out of sight. We'll find a way to reverse this."

He looked up at Stan sadly, and saw the jock wither in his gaze.

"And I'll come with you tomorrow. How about that?"

"Me too!" Kenny bounced excitedly.

Kyle nodded slowly. Even with all the perversion of his two best friends, he did feel safer with the thought of them being there.

"That's settled then!" Bebe smirked. "Kyle and Wendy come home with me tomorrow directly from school. There's no time to waste!"

Wendy smiled her approval, and Kyle nodded dejectedly.

"Now let's get back to class, I'm sure the bell is about to ring." Stan gently pulled Kyle's coat closed again before pressing him forward by his lower back.

"I hate you guys," he muttered in defeat.

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