This had been going on for far too long, Edward sulking in Rio, Emmett sulking in Switzerland with Rose and Esme and Carlisle who were both less than their usually sunny selves in Denali with me and Jasper! What could I say about Jasper? He'd argued against leaving Bella alone in Forks, offered to leave the family but it made no difference so he sat silent and stony faced day after day, speaking only when he couldn't avoid it and refusing to go anywhere with me. I knew he blamed me for not seeing his attack on Bella at her party but in all fairness I had seen it but in my vision it went down a little differently. Everyone realized after Edward took Bella home that it had been an accident and Edwards fault as much as Jaspers, he had overreacted knocking Bella into the table which Rose had moved just before Bella arrived without telling me, on the spur of the moment, so she could reach an earring she had dropped. Jasper only reacted as we all felt, he was our agent, nothing more. But as it turned out there was a lot more blood spilt and as a result the reactions were far more powerful. I tried to explain his actions to everyone and I think I got through to all but Edward. Why he decided to play the martyr now I had no idea but of course everything went to hell and my nice little future unravelled big time. I had tried to put things right but every time I checked the future the consequences were the same, I couldn't put it right, fate had decided that Edward and Bella weren't meant to be together.
I couldn't get beyond the family's hurt at what had happened however much I tried and I was scared that we were falling apart. My Edward hadn't been back since he left Forks the day after we did and Rose and Emmett had split with us a few days later. Rose rang but Emmett wouldn't speak to anyone. According to her he was very depressed and had no intention of coming back to the States. Our family was down to the four of us and I knew we were losing Jasper too, he and Alice were drifting apart, spending less and less time with each other. Carlisle voiced the opinion that they were never real mates which shocked me but I think he was probably correct. Tanya and Irina had both tried to catch his eye but he blanked them and eventually Carmen had spoken to both of them and they left him alone. Alice didn't seem to care much and I'd seen her with travel brochures and the list of the worlds fashion weekends. How had a single human split such a strong united family apart without even trying?
Like Esme I was waiting for the other shoe to fall, Jasper and /or Alice would be next to leave the family. It would break Esme's heart to see the last of her beloved children go but I had no way of stopping it. I thought Edward would come back eventually, he had a special connection to both of us as our first son. Would he check on Bella Swan in the future? I had no answer to that but I hoped not, he had to forget her and start over, his mate was out there somewhere he just had to look for her. I suggested to Esme that we might move soon, living here wasn't ideal because we both enjoyed our work and had been idle too long, it was a year since we left Forks in the dead of the night at Edwards request. Should I have refused him? Both Emmett and Jasper thought so and had argued vociferously. I had looked to Alice to help us but she had turned away as if not listening and I wondered if she was seeing what was to come but she never said anything, whatever she was thinking remained a secret.
I needed to get away from here, from the Cullens, from Denali, and away from Alice most of all. She had never said anything, in fact she had backed me up and defended me but I knew she blamed me for this mess and I didn't disagree with her, I blamed myself even more. Maybe if I left the others would come back, that would please Esme and I hated to see her so distressed most of all. I had asked Alice what she saw in the future for Edward and Bella but she only shook her head.
"I can't tell you Jasper. There are far too many unknowns, unmade decisions, situations as yet to be."
It wasn't very satisfactory as an answer but it was the only one I could get from her. I decided that the first thing I should do was to find Edward and persuade him to go home, after all there was still a chance he could mend fences with Bella. Then I would travel to Switzerland and speak to Emmett, I knew he was driving Rose crazy, she wanted to come back, she missed the family, or what was left of it. Then my chores done I would travel, I needed to be moving, something kept pulling me away from the family. Maybe I was never destined to stay anywhere for too long. The time with the Cullens was the longest I had ever stayed anywhere and even they moved fairly frequently. I wondered if they would ever visit Forks again or would the painful memories be too much. I hoped not because it was one of Esmes favourite houses.
I saw Jasper finalise his decision and with it came a rush of visions that left me dizzy and gasping, there were so many changes coming, so much heartache but so much joy too. I took a deep breath and went into our room to see him sitting in the rocking chair looking out of the window at the falling snow.
He turned but there was no smile and his eyes were dead.
"You're going aren't you?"
He nodded and got up,
"You saw? Yes, I can't stay here any longer Alice, there's too much sorrow, too much longing, its crushing me"
"But you don't want me to go with you."
It was a statement not a question.
He walked over to the closet and started taking his things out and folding them but I took over,
"Using your rucksack?"
He nodded and I rolled the clothes so they would at least be wearable when he needed them.
"Are you taking the bike?"
"No. I'll leave it here for Eleazer or he can keep it for Emmett."
"Yeah Em always liked your Harley. So, do you want a lift to the airport?"
"Its OK, I can run."
He just wanted away from all of us so I put the last of his stuff in the rucksack and strapped it up as he checked his passport and put it in his jacket pocket.
"Will you say goodbye to the others?"
"You do it for me Alice. Thank you for all you've done for me. Be lucky."
"Oh I will be and believe it or not, so will you"
I gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek, not much of a goodbye after all the years we had spent together but it was all that was left and he walked out throwing the rucksack over his shoulder.