I wanted to do all of the lyrics for this song, as ever since I first heard it I thought it sounded written about the Doctor and Rose, same with P!nk's "Beam Me Up" hence the reference" - but when I tried using them all it didn't work as his thoughts seemed rushed to keep up with the words. All rights to the picture go to Adele Lorienne, as it says at the bottom of the image, I really hope they don't mind me using it, but the reverence on 11's face seemed so beautifully appropriate.


There was a reason the Doctor constantly refused Amy on her offer of watching the new Les Misérables DVD together, in fact it was much the same reason he asked the Tardis to soundproof the walls of her room if she started playing her new P!nk CD – fear, fear of particular tracks on each that would still shatter his forever-aching hearts to hear.

And in general, Amy had accepted the fact that her Raggedy Doctor was an eccentric alien with some aversion to modern music, that is until she one day – after a literally hairy encounter with a bunch of long-furred Chewbacca-type aliens that followed her simply for being ginger – she innocently enquired of him whether aliens would prefer her to be blonde. Now, this would generally be a simple enough question with nothing interesting about it, except that in this circumstance the Doctor's answer was not remotely like any she'd considered – he paled considerably, in fact so much she briefly wondered if he were about to faint, his eyes widened comically and a strangled sound escaped his throat before he snapped back to normal with a full-bodied shake and replied "No, of course not, silly Pond, you're much better off as ginger, I've always wanted to be ginger, did you know that?" That conversation continued on with her telling him how easy it would be to make him a redhead if he really wanted to, then discussing at length the pros and cons of dye.

However, when Rory joined the TARDIS crew Amy was distracted enough by various other forms of entertainment to forget the Doctor's warnings, and the couple on one of their 'TARDIS date nights' decided to watch a film in one of the many media-oriented rooms.

The Doctor however knew nothing about this, and had been searching for the Ponds for quite some time when he finally found an 'occupied' light above the doorways of one of his cinema-rooms.

"Alright Ponds, enough snuggly-wuggly kissy-face time, we're going t—"

Whatever the Doctor was going to say cut off abruptly when his eyes fell on Amy's wide-eyed guilty stare, and heard the notes he had been dreading, coupled with the innocent patter of rain and clop of hooves from the speakers.

'Suddenly you're here, suddenly it starts,

Can two anxious hearts, beat as one?'

Amy's voice cut into his paralysed mind, calling him "Doctor?" but he could not hear Amelia Pond's Scottish lilt, instead a London purr pulsed from his memory, begging to know "What was the end of that sentence?"

Why hadn't he told her? To give her a happy life with a human, ageing version of himself and proof for himself that somewhere, some part of him could have a happy ending – objectively he knew all this, yet the few times he had slept since had suggested otherwise, hence them being few.

How was I to know that so much hope, was held inside me?

What is past is gone, now we journey on through the night.

Hope that's all gone now, the Doctor has known since erasing Donna's memory that from then on he would merely exist, not live, just as it had been when he'd travelled with Martha, a neverending torment caused by his own choices. Choices he regretted to this day, some planned, others spur of the moment, but in many small ways he had let Rose Tyler fall out of his life, and then he forcefully pushed her into another man's arms.

Trusting me the way you do, I'm so afraid of failing you,

Just a child who cannot know, that danger follows where I go,

There are shadows everywhere, and memories, I cannot share.

Rose had always trusted him too much, she had let him walk up behind her, not worried about the risk of his plan at Canary Wharf, never even considered the danger – and still he had failed her, one of the highest on his list of guilt, nearly tied with genocide in many ways...

The Doctor had placed his hearts into her hands, given her the gift of as many memories as he could bear, and she had blessed him with her light, casting out the darkness of the Time War by seemingly ending it so his Ninth body could die at peace.

You have warmed my heart, like the sun,

You have brought the gift of life, and love, so long denied me,

Suddenly I see, what I could not see,

His Tenth form had been born loving her and been created from her light and warmth and goodness, yet even his tied-most romantic self (he wasn't even going to try and reconcile Eight's reasons) couldn't say it – why, why hadn't he told her, why hadn't he grabbed her in his arms and refused to ever let go, make his body her fortress since his soul was a temple formed only to worship and adore her.

If he could go back and change it, knowing what he does now, what body and personality had formed without her: clumsy, childish (in a bad way), ignorant and bashful, extremely violent, rivalling his Ninth with anger issues, and yet somehow very honest (and of course, he knows why that is now), if he could go back now, he would, he would make his Metacrisis look after Donna, then run away with Rose before anyone could even think to stop him – but he can't, even with all his bodies he could not contain the damage altering that event would cause now that it has been enacted.

Nevermore alone, nevermore apart,

The lyricist got that line tragically wrong, for the Doctor was forevermore alone, and would always be apart from her, his Rose Tyler, his Bad Wolf.

"DOCTOR!" Amy shrieked at the top of her lungs, yanking on his bowtie to try and finally jerk him out of his trance.

The Doctor blinked once, twice, three times before his eyes focussed on her, then Rory, judging their reactions as simply: confused. Taking a long breath he pasted a dopey smile on his face and said simply "As you were then." then making a quick exit before either could question him.

The Doctor fled to the library grabbed a random book before flopping onto one of the sofas to look through it, with his speed-reading capabilities (Remember Nine in 'Rose' wow he's fast when he wants to be!) he finished the text within a minute and a half given time to study the images. The book explored the mythical Pandorica and its various real-life connotations. When he stood to place it back and reach for another, the TARDIS humming angrily so stopped to find the reason why, he studied the book for damage, only to find some pages stuck together damply, upon realising the reason he laid the book next to the fire to dry and started out for his room so the Ponds could not walk in on him sobbing his hearts out for his lost Rose.


I have another little story that I actually started before this, but works as a sequel, there's a clue in the last paragraph into what it's about, a nice little Rose/11 reunion since I was so upset by "Day of the Doctor" - but I'm going to mark this story as complete since it works as a oneshot and I don't know when or if I'll finish the sequel-y thing, there's a few details I've got to figure out first.

PS: This technically isn't a songfic, since the Doctor can hear it and see the movie playing.