Disclaimer: I do not, and shall never own Card Captor Sakura and its characters. But I do own the poem below.
The misery of winter…
The happy smiles of spring…
The contentment of the summer…
Shall all end in what fall would bring.
But shall there not be another winter?
Or a time when flowers smile?
Can't summer be forever…
And make each fall worthwhile?
By L. Hiiragizawa
Each falling crystal fell ragingly as a pair of violet eyes stared at its sad gracefulness coming from above the punishing skies.
It watched intently from behind the clear glass the wrath that nature brought to each person desperately seeking shelter from the harsh and cold whips of ice.
The surroundings were painfully peaceful as souls around her tucked themselves to bed, each ready to face the visit of the gentle sandman.
She glanced at the heavens, which were vastly covering up in dimness.
Yes, t'was exactly like this.
Her pale hands reached out for a sweater. And with an expressionless face and unthinking mind, she went out of the house to clear up the vague memories piling up to make the tears fall endlessly.
She had promised not to cry.
She knew. She convinced herself. She was sure.
He'd keep his promise.
But somehow, tinges of doubt were tugging her optimism.
Absentmindedly walking alone in the streets of Tomoeda with only a few cars passing by that was heading straight for home, she continued to move when a certain place made her halt from walking.
Winter. It was winter. It was winter when she knew that she must give up the most precious person she held so dear. Tomoyo Daidouji tried to play a masque of happiness though deep inside, she had always known how painful it would be.
The first time Li-kun had stepped into Sakura-chan's life, she knew, she convinced herself and she was sure…
Someday, somehow, he would claim her his and she must let go. She partly blamed herself. But seeing the overjoyed look on her best friend's face, Tomoyo mentally assured herself that she did what was right: to make happy the one you love and love her happiness as well.
"Though you know it hurts so much?"
She sighed and smiled a bit in spite of the bitterness of the curve her lips formed.
"Sleep tight, Sakura-chan."
Tomoyo continued walking, turning left as her eyes met Penguin Park. She scanned the place and found no one. But behind her vision, she knew, she convinced herself and she was sure…
He saw his illusion there.
Just right there, hugging a certain girl who was crying on his shoulder because she lost her best friend to someone who came unexpected and loved her special person.
She sat on the swing where she saw the illusion. It was the exact place and season.
Winter. It was winter. It was winter when she found someone to hang on for refuge…
Someone who gently wiped her tears away…
Someone who was there for her and tried his best to make her smile once again…
And that someone held another special part of her.
She swung back and forth, with no one who pushed her from behind and no sound of a gentle, loving chuckle rang in her ears.
Winter passed and she was walking once again.
Her gaze was filled with blooming cherry blossoms. Its pink petals, she wanted to reach since she never received a bouquet of blossoms seasons ago. She wanted to grasp even a single petal but her dress made it impossible for her to climb and pick one. She wanted to hold a piece that someone had always given her when they all bloom and he would pick one for her by climbing a tree, unaware of the confused stares of passersby.
The skies were cheerful and the sun seemed to smile at her with its radiant rays touching her pale face.
It was exactly like this.
She had been happy having him as a friend and shall always be.
He replaced all the gloom with smiles and pains with laughter.
"He could weave magic perfectly, Tomoyo-chan. Look at you! He changed you. I'm glad you're happy as I am too."
She had a fresh new start. He breathed in new life into her once dismantling world.
She knew, she convinced herself and she was sure…
He would keep his promise that he will never leave her side.
But did he?
Once again, her feet went numb when she came face to face with the house where they usually had tea in and talked about life, plans, ambitions, dreams, wants, desires and sometimes, nonsense.
The unoccupied manor showed no lights and life that were once present when the three inhabitants still lived in the place.
Riots were always happening behind its hugeness and eeriness as she always visited for tea or study sessions."Suuuuupppi-chaaaaaaan"
"Get off me, you pea-brain"
"Who are you calling pea-brain, stupid plushie?"
"Say that to yourself, witch."
"Hah. I shall be a complete witch when I feed you cakes, eh Suppi-chan?"
Tomoyo smiled a little wider, recalling the late afternoon fights between the two equally cute and naughty guardians. Their voices and a familiar laugh filled her ears. She decided to enter the slightly opened gate to take a quick peek inside. Just a quick peek. Nothing will change though she remembers him once again.
With unmoving eyes, she took a step inside and scanned her surroundings. A shiver ran up her spine and her heart twitched.
This place brought back most of the past.
This place was where she learned to feel something strange…
Something equally strange and wonderful…
Something that made her smile all the days of spring…
Something that she learned to do once again after a silent rejection…
Here was where she first kissed a boy…
No other boy…
Him, who stole her heart…
She searched her dress pocket for a key and silently entered the locked door that led her further into the deep parts of the house.
Tomoyo felt a shiver run up her spine and a twitch in her heart.
But once again, no tears.
Spring left her sight and she entered the deserted house. She would never stop remembering. She would forever keep the happiness he gave her during the times when they were together.
"You and that freak, Hiiragizawa, are too close Daidouji-chan. I wouldn't be surprised if the two of you have something up your sleeves for me and Sakura."
She smiled wider than before as an image of Li-kun's angry expression streaked her mind. He had always been a brother like Sakura as her sister. He had always thought that something more than friendship was happening between her and the reincarnation of Clow.
Tomoyo blushed and recalled…
Yes. Awkward moments did happen between her and him. She would always see him stare at her for minutes and blush a deep red. She would always hear her own heartbeat whenever they would touch each other accidentally or their eyes would meet.
It was too…
The feeling was too light.
And that summer was the best of all the seasons.
She was happy. Finally happy.
Cupid did exist.
But in the back of her mind, she wished she never felt light. She wished she never became too happy in his arms.
As she watched the sun set, she stood still from behind the windows of the room she used to stay in with him…
With warm arms taking her in a possessive embrace.
And then, she felt a tinge of hurt as the skies were turning indigo, bidding farewell to the once smiling sun.
Summer's almost over, and she knew that.
But again, as usual, she remained strong.
No tears fell…
Winter had passed, spring dawned, summer snatched the scene and then came fall.
She stopped from visiting the manor. She doesn't want to realize that she was already terribly hurt from hiding in a long and lonely masquerade.
Li-kun and Sakura-chan had been constantly asking yet she always answered them with gentle words of assuredness that she was okay, she was fine and she was contented with living away from him.
Tomoyo knew, convinced herself and she was sure…
She shall never be fine…
Never be okay and contented.
She knew, convinced herself and she was sure that anytime, as she watches the leaves and cherry blossoms fall, she would break down and her masque would end.
Again, she remembered his image slowly vanishing away from her embrace. She knew he needed to leave because of some matters. At the same time, he promised her with more kisses and love when he returns…
"But when? When is someday? Eternity?"
Her once expressionless face shook for the first time after three seasons had passed but not a single droplet fell. She controlled it. Her masque must not break. She doesn't want other people to create pity in their eyes for her. She doesn't want to be the object of sympathy. She must remain strong for her and for the persons special in her life.
'Though he is miles away, I can't cry, right? I must not cry, right?'
Tomoyo headed for home. Her journey throughout the seasons made her realize that promises may be broken. He may or may not return…
That happiness may not be permanent.
No matter how happy may summer be, fall shall always take place.
She felt her cheeks slightly flush as the winter wind slowly came blowing.
She was near home.
There, she would remain until the fall would end and winter would come. She will continue her masquerade. She will…
She knew, she convinced herself and she was sure he wouldn't come back.
He might have met somebody else along the way.
Somebody better than her.
Her eyes shook once again and she was sure the figure before her wasn't a mere illusion. She watched him stand in front of her house whilst the cherry blossoms fell from above creating a rain of flowers around them.
Her heart twitched again and felt the surroundings stop and time freeze.
There he stood after seasons of disappearance, smiling with arms welcoming her for an embrace.
She momentarily stood without smiling but shock was obviously shown through her face and trembling knees.
A heart twitched.
Tears fell after a long confinement.
After the winter…
Winter came again as snow cascaded down in a happy dance from the open skies.
She rushed into his arms, pouring out a rain of tears she hid for a long, long time.
For the first time during winter, she smiled the very first contented smile she had in her life.
They stayed that way, arms encircled, feeling each other's warmth as time flew and seasons once again passed…
And fall embraced the earth.
But to Tomoyo, it seemed that in every season she spent with him, she never felt the melancholic sadness of winter or the tragedy of fall because she knew that though seasons change and time rapidly flies by, he wouldn't leave her side and she would not slip away from him.
This fic took half of my day. Anyway, this is my very first one-shot and I shall greatly appreciate your reviews. I need constructive criticisms, people, and not flames. I know that this plot isn't original as my ongoing fic Scarlet (check the profile) but at least, I did it my style and in my own words, right?
Anyway, you might want to check my other fics or drop a review. *wink wink*