We're about to go on a magical journey.
I do use a lot of foul language, including the N-word, but I don't overuse it and it isn't in a hateful context. Just a disclaimer.
I don't own GTA...or any songs.
"Man, FC, you've been shitty lately." Lamar said to Franklin. They were sitting in front of Franklin's house in Strawberry. The two gang-bangers were drinking together, lazily playing fetch with Chop.
Franklin looked at Lamar. "What are you talking about, man? I've just been taking a few new jobs."
"That's what I mean!" Lamar exclaimed. "You keep trying to rush your way to the top. If you just listen to me, we would make green, all natural and shit!"
"I ain't rushing!" Franklin countered. "I've been doing this shit for years! I've been stuck in the same place with you because I WAS listening to you! Look at all the shit that did for me."
Lamar thought about this for a second. "Well, what's wrong with where we are now?"
"Just take a look around. I'm sure you can find a reason."
"Well," Lamar stood up and walked in front of Franklin. "maybe it's just a matter of perspective."
"Where's that music coming from?" Franklin asked, looking around.
Lamar, much to Franklin's surprise, began to sing.
"They say that the grass is greener/ At somebody else's place."
"What the fuck." Franklin said as Lamar put his arm around his shoulder.
"You dream about making it big/ But that is a big mistake."Lamar shook his finger at Franklin.
"Why are you singing?"
"Just look at the world around you/ Right here with The Families."Lamar waved a hand to the scenery.
"But there's gotta be more to it all then-!"
"Everything you need surrounds you/ All right here within your reach!"Lamar jumped up and grabbed Chop's paws. Franklin stared at him, mouth agape.
"Down in the Hood!/ Down in the Hood!" Lamar sang as he danced with the dog.
"Nigga it's better/ Down in the Ghetto!/ Take it from me!"He let the dog down as he danced off the lawn. Chop followed after him, hopping around a little himself.
"You're full of shit, as always." Franklin muttered to himself as he followed his friend.
"Up in the hills they work all day./ Out in the sun they slave away." Lamar was standing in the middle of the street, getting the attention of the other residents of the neighborhood.
"I'm already slaving away down here, bitch!" Franklin said. After a pause, he added, "In this context, that actually sounds a bit racist."
Lamar ignored him as he continued to sing.
"While we devotin'/ Full time to rollin'/Down in the Hood!" He sang, spreading out his arms.
Suddenly, random people began to surround Lamar, dancing. It was a waltz, with people dancing with partners and switching off. The dancers included prostitutes, gang-bangers and even a few cops. A few meth heads were on the side blowing into meth pipes to emit a horn-like sound, while one of the more skinny crack heads ran a stick across his own ribs like a xylophone.
Franklin moved out of the way when a dancer came his way. At one point during the dance break, he was dragged into the crowd. He tried his best to push his way through the crowd, but he was only free of them when they spread out into a circle around him. Lamar walked toward him and, as Franklin predicted by the music, began to sing the next verse.
Down here all the playa's happy./ Down here on the streets they fit!" He ran around the circle, gesturing to random people.
"Seems like I don't." Franklin muttered, assuming he missed some sort of town wide meeting regarding musical numbers.
"The homies up there ain't happy./ They pissed 'cause they don't get shit." Lamar waved a hand at the Vinewood sign up the hills, flipping it off.
"I know a guy up there that might agree with you."
"But on the streets we be lucky/ We get to choose our own fate"The circle opened up, allowing Lamar to run over to Franklin's car. Much to Franklin's dismay, he jumped up onto the hood of the car, setting off the alarm.
"One of these days we'll make money/ And the haters will just hate!"He sang over the alarm, spreading out his arms like he was on the Titanic.
Franklin decided he had enough of this.
"Down in the Hood!"
"Down in the Hood"
"No one can-"
The music stopped. Everybody turned over to a pissed off Franklin, who was holding his pistol up in the air.
"Everybody! Get. The FUCK. Out of here!" He fired again. "NOW!"
The crowd sighed and disbursed. One of the cops went up to Franklin, because he had fired a weapon. Franklin, however, managed to distract the cop by jingling some keys in front of him until he forgot about the crime.
Once all of that was dealt with , Franklin turned to Lamar. "OK, I get it. remember my roots and stuff, right?"
"Yeah, man!" Lamar said.
"Right. I'll keep that in mind. Also, you want me to get you some work?"
"Great." A pause. "...Disney? Really?"
"I've always loved musicals. I'm involved in the local community theater."
"Really? I didn't know that."
"I invited you to every show! You really are a shitty friend!"
Before Franklin could respond, a red truck came charging down the street. It stopped right in front the two gang-bangers Trevor quickly hopped out of the truck.
"Are we singing?!" He nearly shouted.
"No Trevor! We aren't-"
"No one kills like Trevor!/ No one twerks like Trevor/ No one slaughters the innocent hoards like Trevor!"
"Wait, bro." Lamar interrupted. "You can't sing that song about yourself! That's not how it works!"
Trevor paused for a second, then snapped his fingers. He began to sing again.
"I'M GOIN' ON A RAMPAGE! /Mayhem disarray /I'M GOING ON A RAMPAGE! /So ya best get out' my way!"
"That doesn't work either! That song was written about you!"
Franklin rested his head in his hands.
Why did he hang out with these freaks?
The last song Trevor sang was "Rampage" by Miracle of Sound. He writes music based off of video games, and he wrote three songs based off of the three different protagonists from GTA (Michaels is my personal favorite.)
So yeah. This was my Franklin musical. I hope it was worth the wait. I was going to do the full song, but the rest of the lyrics are about people eating fish, and I couldn't figure out a way to convert that. So I just cut him off.
People liked the AU I created revolving around Michael and Trevor, but odds are I won't revisit it in a concrete way anytime soon. I might in the far off future.
However, I know for a fact I have at least two other GTAV parody one shots revolving around the contradictions I found in one of the later missions of the game, as well as a classic case of mistaken identity.
Lamar is now my favorite Disney princess :)