Omg I am so sorry it has been so long. I have been sick, went out of town, sick again, had a wedding reception at my house and a million of guests, was sick again, and then my husband has been out of town for a family emergency. I have written this chapter a million times in my mind, but at the end of the day I've always been asleep before my head hits my pillow. So without further ado…
I hold onto Tris long after my crying has stopped, the salt from my tears making my face feel tight. My fingers are sore from my grip and I am not sure I will be able to straighten them correctly again should I ever decide to let go. My back is contorted in pain from this hunched over position I have taken, leaning slightly onto Tris, and there is one hell of a crick in my neck.
But I refuse to move.
I am completely unsure of what is reality anymore, but if this isn't real I am not ready to let it go. Not ready to forget the feel of Tris's hands on my neck, or the way her fingers trail down my spine. I don't want to forget the sweet smell of her, or the gentle beat of her heart. Thankfully, she seems just as content as I am.
So we stay here, unmoving. Not a single word passes between us but that is okay. We are just soaking up one another, and I feel grateful that she seems just as pleased to see me as I am to see her.
It isn't until I see the sun peaking through the slats in the blinds, that I realize just how long we've been sitting here. Tris's stomach gurgles in anticipation, and she mutters a quick apology.
I finally take a deep breath pulling back only to find myself in awe of the beauty I was starting to forget. Tris is even better than my memory allowed me to remember. Her blonde hair falling in wild curls around her face. Her slate blue eyes look like home and I forget what I wanted to say.
It feels like there is a magnet between us, my lips automatically gravitating towards hers. I can feel her breath fan out across my face when the door swings open. Surprised by the sudden movement we both jerk away.
My body groans in protest at the sudden movement after being stuck in one spot for so long. I see Caleb Prior walking tentatively towards us, with Tori close behind him.
"How are you feeling?" He asks me, eying me warily. I don't understand his odd reactions.
"Confused." I tell him honestly.
"That is to be expected, nobody has ever been in a simulation that long." He tells me earnestly, earning a nasty glare from Tris and Tori.
"How long?" I ask him, nervous about his response.
He pauses for a moment, looking from Tori to Tris. They both nod slightly at him, and when they all turn to me with intent eyes I am finding it hard to breathe.
"Tobias, we would be happy to fill you in but I am worried that you are going to get overwhelmed from everything. You were in the simulation for 4 months. Like I said, nobody has ever been in a simulation that long and we have no idea the effects it could have on you. I do not want to have to sedate you again, because frankly there is a chance your body will go into a coma and we won't be able to wake you again."
"Okay." Is all I can manage to say, my mind still grasping at what he's just old me.
4 months? In the simulation it was years. Tris is really alive and nothing is what it seemed.
"Tobias, come on man. You've got to breathe. I know this is a log to take in. Take your time. We can fill you in on everything at your pace, there is no hurry." His eyes are wide with worry as they all watch me struggle to regain my composure.
"I can go grab Christina really quick if you'd like." Her statement throws me off, and I reach out for her arm, stopping her from moving any further away.
"Please, just stay with me. It's easier with you here." I beg her to understand.
"Okay, okay. I'm right here," She tells me, hugging the side of my head to her stomach. I listen to it rumble again in hunger making me smile.
"Can we get some food?" I ask, and everyone looks relieved, hurrying off to grab us something to eat.
We are quiet after everyone has left, Tris's fingers once again running through the hair at the nape of my neck before her fingers trail down my spine.
"You should probably get some rest, you didn't sleep at all last night." Tris tells me, pulling back to look down into my face.
"You didn't get any sleep either." I counter.
"I haven't gotten much sleep since they found you." She admits to me, her face filling with anguish.
"I'm here now," I promise her, reaching up to run my thumb across her cheek.
"Well so am I, so get some rest." She demands, smiling brightly at me.
"Only if you do too," I coerce her, pulling her down towards me. I scoot over so that she can have more room than before. Leaning her head against my chest I feel more complete than I ever have.
Although everything feels right in my world I refuse to sleep. Even after the food has come and gone, or when Tris is snoring quietly against my chest. I cannot risk going back, or waking up, whichever it may be. I will do whatever it takes to hold on to the woman I love.
We will get some more information on things that have happened next chapter. I am going to try to write and update a few chapters this week to try to get caught up. Then I will try to get back to some kind of schedule, again thank you for your patience!