Alright heads up before you read this this is going to be soooooo angsty like no joke. I literally thought of this listening to sad music, laying in bed in the dark, petting my kitty, and hating the world those things make angsty fics so don't hate me I warned you this time. This is all in Myrnin's POV

Myrnin

March

The smell of raspberries filled the room. I smiled. She had been gone for two months for her honeymoon with her Collins boy. This is the first time I'd seen her since I was at her wedding. I spun around in the chair – a great invention that Claire showed me – turning to face Claire. She came down the stairs with a smirk on her face.

"Hey, Myrnin." I stood up and walked forward, then stopped. I heard something. I closed my eyes and listened. Dum-dum. Dum-dum. Dum-dum-dum-dum. I listened closer and I could hear another heartbeat, though faint.

"Claire did you bring someone with you today?" I opened my eyes and looked behind her. She gave a shy smile and shook her head. I tilted my head to the side. "Are you sure?" She nodded and put a hand on her abdomen.

"I guess I can't keep a secret from you, with your extra sensitive hearing and all." I looked at her hand and tilted my head the other way.

"You ate another human being. Claire that's," I smiled. "Wonderful. But why didn't you share?" She laughed. The spark in her eye was bright and I gave a tight lipped smile.

"No, I didn't eat another human being, Myrnin," She held out her hand and I stared at it for a moment. She smiled wide and I couldn't refuse her. I put my hand in hers and she brought it to her stomach. She put my hand on her abdomen and I could feel something. It was faint and that was even with my vampire powers. It was a heartbeat. I closed my eyes and tried to focus. At first I thought it was Claire's heartbeat, but after I heard the beating fall out of sync my eyes shot open.

"Claire, you're pregnant?" She nodded. She looked so happy. I don't know how I didn't see it sooner. Her skin had a pinkish hue – more than usual – to it and she looked to be glowing. I smiled at her. I was happy for her. As much as I hated that Collins boy he could give her something I couldn't. A child. She splayed her hands on mine, which was still on her abdomen. I crouched down and leaned in carefully, looking up at her the whole time in case she decline. She continued to beam down at me. I looked at our joined hands and took a slow, unneeded breath. "You listen here tiny human." She laughed and I could feel it under my hand. "Don't hurt Claire, she has to be my lab assistant still." She smacked my head.

"Be nice." She chided behind her mirth.

"It doesn't even have ears yet." I could feel the warmth of her hand spread through to mine. "Like I was saying, you be nice to your mom. She is the only person in the world I would trust with my life." Claire hummed and the vibrations shook through my hand into my ears. I turned my hand and grabbed hers. I stood up and smiled down at her. "Now I have to be extra, extra careful around you. And my equipment with how big you're going to get." She yelled, but before she could hit me I dashed off laughing.

"The baby may not have ears, but I do." She yelled and walked to meet me at the lab table.

"Alright, shall we proceed with the experiment?" I waved my hand and she smiled. Nodding, she took my hand and I led her to the table where the experiment was.

April

"Claire!" I yelled and tapped my foot. She appeared around the corner. Her stomach rounding out around her belly button and visible as she lifted the boxes. I ran forward grabbing them from her. "How many times have I told you, you can't do any of the heavy lifting?" I scolded her as she yawned.

"One more time, maybe?" I growled, non-threateningly. I moved with vampire speed to put the boxes where they needed to be. I decided that I should clean up the lab since Claire's pregnancy, and it needed to be cleaned anyways.

"You need to work on packing the boxes over on the left; I'll be taking these boxes to Amelie for donation whilst you do that." She nodded. "And don't lift any of the heavy boxes or I will call Clane and he will take you and put you in a bed for the next six months. Or until you pop." She laughed.

"Mother's don't pop, Myrnin, you should know that." I smirked.

"Yea, but I do mean business about the boy." I pointed to her and she waved her hands above her head.

"I don't think you can really call him a boy, now." I stopped picking up the box to look over at her.

"1045 to 22. He is but a lamb." I thickened my accent to give it the extra emphasis and she laughed as she put things into the box. I opened a portal and stepped through into Amelie's office. She looked up from her desk with a pen in her hand and pointed to the left. I put the boxes where she indicated. She sighed.

"I don't see how it's my job to get rid of your junk." I clapped my hands together to get rid of the dust.

"Because you're so kind, and caring, and wonderful, and are the best mayor a town could have." I lathered the words with so much sarcasm I nearly choked.

"Shut up, fool." I chuckled and left to go check on Claire. I found I was doing that more and more as her pregnancy progressed. I stepped through the portal and Claire had a large box in her hands and she looked ready to lift it.

"Claire!"

May

"Here." She handed me the filmy black and white screen shots. The baby was small, barely the size of my palm. I put the photo up to the light and looked at the features of the fetus.

"Do you want to know the sex or keep it a secret?" I handed her back the film. She shook her head.

"I want to know. Shane doesn't, but I do, so bad." She put her hand out. "Keep it." I smiled.

"Really?" She nodded and I held the film close to my chest. "I deeply appreciate the gift, young mother." She laughed and smacked my chest.

"I'm just Claire." I smiled.

"Alright then, just Claire." She smirked at me. "I'll have it framed. It'll be titled 'Just Claire's Baby'." I spread my hands out in front of me and spread them apart from each other with each word. I looked over at her for approval. She shook her head.

"If you're going to be that way then I'll take it back." She held out her hand, the other on her hip and I dashed off before she could take it from me.

"No, it's mine." I gave her a raspberry – she had told me what that was since I had no words for it – as I looked for a frame.

"For someone who is expecting a child I feel like I already have one." I gasped.

"Me? A child? You must be mistaken." I chuckled as I heard her walk around. The lab was almost spotless. It took a whole month to clean the place that included the area below – which Claire insisted on a ladder, lights, pest and rodent spray, and a fixed floor – and I had managed to keep it that way for a few weeks. Claire helped a lot. I also hadn't had an episode since Claire came back. I called her my good luck charm and she laughed and brushed it off as a coincidence. I wouldn't tell her what it really was. I never could now. She also had me install and maintain a bathroom. I went along with it since a) she would need it more often and b) it was using Amelie's money. She ran now to use it. I found a rag and cleaned off one of the nearby tables with it. Without Claire's demand I put in a refrigerator and I kept it fully stocked at all times. I used that time when I shopped for her food to do a little shopping of my own. I pulled the box I had hidden in the desk I sat at out of the drawer. It was wrapped neatly and had a nice bow on it. There was a tag on it with my old printing on it that said Claire. When she came out of the bathroom she looked at the box.

"What's that?" She pointed to the box and walked towards the desk. I had it in front of me and I had one hand on each side of the box I leaned over the desk.

"It's a gift." I could see the tears in her eyes as she put a hand up to her mouth.

"Myrnin, you didn't have to." I shrugged non-comically. I pushed it forward with one finger and she grabbed it. She began to open it up, taking careful precision with the paper. I laughed at her antics. She finally got to the box and took off the lid. She looked in behind her tears and smiled. She pulled out the miniature slippers. The white fuzz stuck out at random angles and the ears were bigger than the show themselves. She laughed and held them out to inspect them. "Myrnin – " I nudged my chin towards the box.

"Keep looking." She nodded and wiped her tears away.

"I'm sorry." I shook my head.

"It's nothing." She carefully took out the tissue paper and gasped. She slowly reached in and pulled out the necklace. It was necklace made of pure silver. The charm was a bunch of silver bones strung together to look like a baby skeleton. A new round of tears exploded from her eyes. "Myrnin, I love it." She managed around her crying. I put my silver resistant gloves on and took it carefully as she offered it to me. I motioned for her to turn around and she did. I put the necklace on her and she turned around as tears continued to over flow her eyes. She grabbed my hands and squeezed them tight. "Thank you so much." I shrugged. She squeezed my hands one last time before putting the slippers back in the box and putting it under her arm. "Do you mind if I show Shane?" I shook my head.

"No, go ahead." I opened a portal to the Glass house and she stepped through with one last look back.

June

I heard the screwdriver drop to the table as a flurry of feet ran to the bathroom. I continued to work as usual. I knew she would be out in a few moments. I twisted the wires and soldered them to the board. I moved around as I grabbed the instruments I needed and went back to the table. I hummed slightly as I put the circuit board onto the tray. Behind me I heard something crash to the ground. It sounded like glass breaking. I dropped what I had and ran to the bathroom.

"Claire?" I called. She didn't answer me. I could hear crying. I smelt blood. I panicked. "Claire! Let me in!" She screamed at me,

"No, go, I'm fine!" I shook my head. I could hear her crying harder and it didn't sound happy. It sounded….

"Claire! Let me in!" I repeated. She didn't answer me, but I could hear her screaming as she cried. I grabbed the door and tried the handle. Locked. I pulled with all my might and the door flung off the hinges. I looked into the white bathroom to see red staining the floor, sink, and toilet. She had blood all over her hands and she tried to wipe away her tears, but it just got blood on her face. She screamed at me to go away, but I wouldn't. I crouched down and reached into the cabinet. It had an assortment of towels. I began to mop up the mess. The mirror was broken and glass was everywhere. I used vampire speed to clean up the mess, so I could attend to Claire. She continued to cry hysterically. As I cleaned around her legs I saw something lying on the floor by her knee. It was covered in blood and it was about six inches long. I felt my non-beating heart break into a million pieces. The fetus was wrapped up in its umbilical cord. It had suffocated.

"Help her!" Claire screamed at me. "HELP HER!" The room shook with her scream. She reached forward and gathered up the dead baby in her arms. Her tears fell onto the lifeless form, cleaning away the blood. I continued to clean the blood in the room before assessing Claire. Finally it was done and all of the glass was cleaned up. I crouched down by Claire. She still had the baby in her arms and was shushing it. She slowly rocked it back and forth.

"Claire." I said in a soft voice. She didn't look away from the dead baby. "I need to get you to the hospital. You could have suffered hemorrhaging." She didn't move except to wipe away blood from the baby's face. I nodded and gathered Claire up in my arms. She continued to hold the baby as I opened a portal to the ER. A nurse nearby looked at us and called for a doctor. Soon a bed and entourage was running down the hall to help Claire. I was softly whispering to Claire as they hurried down the hall. I called to the nurse at the desk, "You need to get a hold of Shane Collins. He's the husband." The nurse began to scan the computer for his number. Claire was taken from my arms and I resisted the urge to snap at them. They put her on the bed and one of the nurses told me I had to stay. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. I stood in the middle of the hallway as they carted Claire away. I stared at my arms and hands. They were covered in her blood and I didn't think I would ever get it off. I knew it was irrational, but I felt as though it was my fault. I don't know how long I stood there before I heard Shane come bolting down the hallway.

"Where is she?" He was talking to the nurse. The nurse told him and he was going to run after her, but he saw me instead. "What did you do to her?" He said with every ounce of vindication he could muster. I shook my head.

"It wasn't me. Go look." Shane looked at my arms and hands then bolted full speed down the hallway. I closed my eyes and stepped back until I felt the chair on the backs of my knees. I sat down with my hands between my legs. I stared at the floor. Pain rippled through my body and a bloody tear escaped my eye.

July

Claire hadn't come in to work for most of the month. I didn't blame her. I looked at the bathroom and rage filled me. I wanted to burn it, as if it was the reason Claire's happiness had been stripped from her. I clenched my fists and sat down in my chair. I put my head in my hands and dug the heel of my palms into my eyes. Bloody tears flowed freely now. It was my fault, if I had simply said she couldn't work then maybe the baby would still be alive. If I didn't put so much stress on her then maybe she might still be here with her glowing skin, prominent belly, strange cravings, and emotional turmoil. The tears dripped down onto the floor. They dyed my bunny slippers with red and I continued to cry. Maybe if I stayed with her more often then she would have had her first ultrasound and seen the baby's beautiful face for the first time. Maybe if I gave her more days off she would be able to have her baby on the right time, a beautiful baby girl, just like her mother. This is all my fault. This is why she hadn't shown up to work. She knew it was my fault too.

August

I have accepted that Claire has quit. I haven't seen her in two months. I haven't heard from anyone since the incident. For all I know Claire has moved off to some city far away from here and was living a happier life knowing she wasn't living around a baby killer. The lab was a mess. Without Claire to help me the lab was back in the condition it was when I was insane. I felt it now. Baby killer. Baby killer. Baby killer. The words kept ringing in my head until it's all I could hear. Nothing mattered anymore. Claire was gone. Her baby was gone. My life was gone. I bet she smashed that necklace. I would have. Into a million tiny pieces. So I would never know that it resembled what I had lost. I stood up from my chair and pushed my way through the mess. I went to the fridge. I looked around at all of the moldy food. I hadn't taken it out since Claire left. I haven't felt like I would need to. I don't eat it and I never get any visitors, so I have no one to impress. I grabbed a bag of blood and finished it before I shut the fridge door. As I tossed the bag where a trash can used to be I smelt something familiar.

Raspberries.

I looked over and Claire was standing in the doorway. Shock and horror on her face. I looked away ashamed.

"I thought you quit." I didn't have anything else I could say.

"I never told Amelie that." She stepped down into the lair. She dropped off her bag at the door and walked to face me. I looked away from her.

"You shouldn't be here. You should have left. I killed her and you know it." Claire shook her head.

"You didn't." She gave a sad chuckle. "You blame yourself, I blame myself, and Shane blames me." A stray tear fell from her eye. I looked at her in shock.

"That wretched boy – " I clenched my fist and bared my fangs. She held up her left hand.

"There's no need." I looked at her ring finger and it was bare. I pulled back my fangs.

"You –"

"Yes." She put her hand down and looked around at the disarray. "I was gone because I was filing the divorce papers. It was a huge pain in my ass." She turned back and I looked at her neck. Something glittered in the little light. The necklace.

"You still wear it?" She nodded, tearing up.

"Why wouldn't I? It's beautiful." She put her hand to it and twisted it carefully between her thumb and index finger. "So I'd say you get the left side and I'll get the right side. We work out way to the middle?" I cocked my head. "To clean this place up." I looked around. If it was done once, it could be done again.

September

We were done sooner this time since Claire wasn't pregnant. She could lift her own boxes now. There was a change about her. She wouldn't always tell me, but I could smell the tears on her when she showed up for work some days. I never asked her because I didn't want to push her away. I had asked once what happened to her after she came to work with a bruise on her face and she said she tripped. I could smell the boy on her skin though. I wanted to wring his small neck, so I could feel the satisfaction of killing him. He hurt Claire so much. He blamed her for the death of their child. The Collins boy had the audacity. Claire said he left Morganville. I imagined something else happened. I looked around at the clean again lab. Everything sparkled and was nice and organized. Claire stood next to me, admiring our handiwork as well. She leaned on me slightly.

"I think we did well." I nodded, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. She leaned into my side more and I rubbed my hand up and down on her arm. She yawned. I looked down at her.

"You should get some sleep." She nodded, closing her eyes.

"I don't want to leave." I rested my head on hers.

"I have the couch still." She smirked.

"You know I hate that couch." I picked her up and she didn't protest. She felt smaller now that she lost the baby. It was like a part of her spirit left with her with the death of her baby. Maybe some of her spirit left her when Shane did as well. I walked to the couch and laid her down. She curled up, facing the back of the couch. She mumbled a good night. Her hands wrapped around her abdomen and she smiled faintly before drifting off to sleep. I watched her for a few more moments before looking around at the lab. I walked over to the table with the circuit board on it. I stared at it for a long moment before grabbing the soldering gun and began to work on the board.

October

Claire sat in the bathroom. She had her back against the wall and she stared at the floor between her legs. Her eyes were distant and puffy from the tears that silently fell down her face. I sat on the toilet, watching her. I put my hands between my legs and watched her with a careful eye. She made a small noise in the back of her throat and more tears continued to fall. They hit her shirt with a soft pat-pat and left stains. I didn't dare move to comfort her. She needed this. I pulled my left hand from between my legs and reached down beside me. I grabbed the remote control and pulled my right hand out as well. I held the control and commanded the remote control truck to drive forward. I guided it silently through the lab to the bathroom. It stopped at the door of the bathroom. In the bed of the toy truck was a box. It was wrapped neatly and had a nice bow on it. On a tag with my fancy handwriting was Claire. Claire finally looked away from the bathroom floor. She looked over at the toy truck. It took it as a signal to go forward. I moved it at a crawl towards her. I stopped it right next to her hand. She reached out slowly and grabbed the small box. She carefully opened the paper and then the lid of the box. She reached in and grabbed the necklace. It was a heart locket the size of her cupped palm. She opened it up and I saw her tears begin to flow faster now, although still silently. Inside I knew there was a picture of her on the left side and on the right side was an age progression of her baby at one month old. She closed the locket and held it to her heart. She looked at the box and there was a note. The note I left her. She grabbed it and opened it up slowly. She read it. The tears looked happy now. They were flowing and she looked up at me with her sparkling eyes. The light had returned to them. She held both the note and the locket close to her heart. She gave a small smile.

"Thank you." She whispered.

Congratulations Claire Elizabeth Danvers, you are now the mother of Valerie Guinevere Danvers.

Birthdate: Monday October 14, 2013.

Mother's Birthdate: Thursday October 14, 1993.

Happy First Birthday Valerie. Happy Twenty-First Birthday Claire.

So how did you like it? I know it was sad. I wrote this in like two hours leave me alone. Oh the song that really helped me with this was October by Evanescence which is actually what inspired this story. Sorry for the angst but I hoped you liked it.