I'm a bit of a spider-man fan. I enjoy the cartoons, movies and comics...well, the earlier comics. I hate what the newer comics seem to do to Peter Parker. Such as erasing his marriage, killing him multiple times, ruining his character and so on. I like the comics where Peter's happy and having fun while crime fighting, still having bad things happen to him but overcoming it and being positive, that's why I like the older comics.

Last week, I found a spider-man comic in the mail. It was wrapped up in brown paper and addressed to me. It didn't say who it was from but I was just happy to be getting a free comic. I quickly ran up to my room and ripped off the brown paper. The cover was white except for a red spider-man symbol and the title in red lettering: "Spider-man: Are You Happy Now?".

I opened the comic and the first page was Peter Parker in his spider-man costume but no mask. He was staring at me with a hateful look in his eyes. In his text bubble it said:

"They all seem to like watching me be ruined. They all like to watch me in pain. YOU like to watch me in pain too, don't you?"

I couldn't help but wonder who he was talking to. Who were "they"? Who was "you"? I flipped the page. The picture was the same as before except Peter was raising his hand up to his face and he had a smile on his face. His smile made me uneasy for some reason, I don't know why though. He said:

"Well, I'll put on a nice show for you then."

The next page was a close-up of his hand over his right eye. I turned the page and...I nearly vomited. It was an extremely detailed picture of Peter shoving his fingers into his eye socket and slowly pulling out his own eye. You could see the anguish on his face as the muscles connecting the eyeball stretched and started to snap. He was screaming in pain and tears were running down his undamaged eye. The next page showed the muscle completely snapping and the eye socket now empty.

I wanted to put the book down but my hands, almost as though moving by themselves, continued and flipped to the next page. Peter was staring back at me with blood dripping out his now empty eye-socket and hate in his remaining eye. He was panting and said:

"Oh? Was that not enough for you? You want more, you fucking sadist?"

tears were streaming down my face. In a quiet whisper I said "no.". The next page, Peter's psychotic smile returned. He took out a knife and said:

"Okay, I'll give you what you want."

My hands flipped to the next page and the image was yet another sickening one. With the knife, he stabbed himself in the arm and began twisting the blade over and over again. He then dropped the knife and began ripping the skin off of the upper portion of his arm where he stabbed himself. The image of him pulling his skin and costume off his arm was also very detailed. You could see a painful, tear-filled expression on his face while he did it. The next page was him, still standing there, glaring at me and a large portion of skin off of his arm, revealing bloody and damaged muscle. He said:

"This seems to be what my so-called "fans" want. I can never be happy again. I can never be married...I can never have fun...I must suffer for YOUR entertainment. Are you happy now? Well!?"

Was Peter talking about how the recent comics have treated him!? Did he think that his fans were the ones that wanted that to happen to him? Still crying I just said "Please...please stop hurting yourself, Peter." I flipped the page and Peter was now screaming at me:

"Why not!? Isn't this what you wanted!? ANSWER ME!"

My eyes widened, Peter could actually hear me!? I gulped and said "No it isn't...your...your fans don't want this to happen to you. We never wanted you to suffer. We keep reading because...because we want to see how you'll overcome it." I wiped my tears and turned the page. Peter was standing there, dumbstruck as if he was amazed at what I just said. In his talk bubble, he said:

"Is that true? You don't enjoy watching me hurt?"

I nodded, holding back fresh tears. The next page was Peter smiling and then walking away. His talk bubble only saying:

"thank you."

I closed the book and the cover was now blank. I flipped through the pages again but all of them were blank now. It's now only a book of blank white pages. I don't know where that book came from or why it was sent to me. I sometimes wonder if it really happened or if I just lost my sanity for the moment.

Now, I see the kind of pain that Peter Parker truly goes through. I hope that maybe, me and all his other fans have given him the hope that he desperatly needs right now.