Your name is Dave strider, and you're the coolest guy in this town. You moved from Texas to Washington a few weeks ago in August, and you're pretty sure you get to share an elevator with the hottest guy on planet earth. But before we go on about Sir Hottie, let's hear more about you.

So yeah, Dave Strider, coolest guy, blah blah blah we get that. You moved all the way here for… what again? Oh yeah, to run one of your older brother's music stores. He has a few all around the good ol' USA. Just something he likes to do in between his puppet porn (which is creepy but makes a fuck ton of money, the reason he has the music stores in the first place) and DJing at local clubs in Texas. He's a total weirdo but hey, he is who you learned your cool from so gotta give him props for that, right?

Anyway, let's talk about Sir Hottie now. You see him every morning Monday through Friday, and he always looks so damn happy even though it's the butt fuck of dawn. You won't lie, just seeing someone that happy and excited kinda makes it easier for you to not be a total dick the rest of the day. He seems like a dork, with his messy dark hair and glasses and teeth that you only thought rabbits could have. But damn, his eyes make up for all of that. They are the best fucking shade of blue you have ever seen.

Secretly you like to just stare at him from behind your shades, never actually talking to him. (Not because you're nervous or anything. That would be stupid.) But today is different, because today it isn't just you and he in the elevator. No, there is someone else, someone tiny and young and heading to their first day of school. She stares right at you as you get into the elevator, making you a little uncomfortable, but you keep your cool. That is, until she opens her mouth and starts to speak.

"What's your name?"

You look around, as if there were anyone else that she could be talking to. Looking down at her, you notice that her eyes are the same shade of blue as Sir Hottie's.

"Dave," you say, and holy shit she looks so fucking excited that you actually answered her. She looks up at Sir Hottie (whom you guess must be her dad), and he smiles down at her a little bit. When she finally looks back at you, you can tell you're about to play twenty fuckin' questions with this kid.

"I'm Casey, and this is my daddy! His name is John, and I'm going to my first day of the first grade today!" She gives you the biggest, warmest smile that'd put the fucking sun to shame, like damn you need to break out some sun block or something. Giving her a little nod, you look up at Sir Hottie, uh, John. You look up at John.

"Nice ta meet ya." John gives you a smile and wow, you can see where she gets her smile from too now.

"Mr. Dave are you a grown up?"

"Hell yeah I am." John doesn't look too happy about you swearing, but come on, you said hell it's not like you're yelling out 'fuck' in front of his kid.

"OH! My daddy is a grown up too! He goes to work and he cleans stuff up and reads the grown up parts of the paper and gives me the fun parts cause I'm just a kid so I can't read the big parts 'til I'm all big!" Damn, does she know how to talk.

Sadly, talking time is over because the elevator dinged at the ground floor. The three of you walk to the door together, and you give Casey a little head nod. "Have fun on your first day." She and John smile at you a little as they walk to his car (a fucking minivan) and drive away. You take your sweet time walking to work because it's just down the block, spending it thinking about your new friends and how fun the next elevator ride is gonna be.

The elevator rides with John and Casey go on for a few weeks after that. Every weekday you'll get on and they will already be there, Casey smiling and ready to ask all kinds of new questions, and John smiling and looking proud of his baby girl. Today, however, is a little different. John looks a little nervous, and Casey looks about 10,000 times more excited. You step in coolly, ready to see what's going on. Casey nudges John and hides behind him shyly. Sighing, John looks up at you and oh god, he is totally blushing, holy shit.

"Um, Casey would like to know if you'd like to come to her birthday party." Casey then shoves a piece of paper into John's hand, and he rolls his eyes as he hands it to you. When you look at it, you notice that it's an invitation to said birthday party. Casey must have drawn it, unless John just really sucks at art.

After looking it over for a while, you look up at both John and Casey (a very nervous John and Casey) and nod. "Sure. I'll be there," and with that you exit the elevator, not stopping to see their reactions.

Saturday, 2:30pm, Apartment 4D. Yeah, you got it all right. You sigh quietly as you look at the time and the number and letter on the door. Why are you so nervous? It's a kid's freakin' birthday party for Christ's sake. It has to be because John the DILF is in there too. Yeah that's it.

Before you can even knock, the door swings open to reveal a very surprised looking Casey. "YOU ACTUALLY CAME." She pretty much latches onto your legs, until John comes over, laughing, to help you pry her off. You can't help letting a small smile slip, heading into the apartment. There are about 5 other kids running around, all looking at you like you're fucking Bigfoot or something. They're just jealous that Casey wants to hang with you more than them. Casey is pulling you over to the snacks, talking a million words per second. "These are the snacks and the cake! Daddy made the cake this time! Normally granpop will make them, but he's out looking at the fishies some place with some lady. You can tell daddy made it because it looks really bad." John looks a little hurt by that but she keeps going. "And those are my friends, and there's balloons! Have you seen balloons before?" You nod. "Yay! And those are my presents." She leads you over to her gifts. "And um." She looks around for something else to talk about. "OH! OH OH OH! YOU NEED A HAT."

Before you can tell her that cool kids don't wear hats, she runs over and grabs you the dorkiest party hat to ever exist. John starts giggling at you, and you shoot him a glare and stick your tongue out as Casey goes back to talking. "Did you, um, did you maybe get me something?" She looks down at her feet, and you pull out a little mp3 player and headphones.

"Probably not what you were expectin', but I think you're around the age where you need to know what good music is. So this is filled with all kinds of shit that rocks and you can add anything else you want to it. Also threw in some of my own stuff for ya. Happy Birthday kid." You ruffle her hair as she stares at the MP3 player, then she's hugging you so tight that you think your stomach is going to shoot out your asshole.

"Thank you Mr. Dave! Daddy, look what Mr. Dave got me!" Letting go of you, she runs over to her dad, showing him the neat purple MP3 player. He smiles, telling her he's proud that she used her big girl manners. After that she runs off to show it to her friends, and John comes to sit next to you.

"Thank you for coming. She was reeeeeally worried that you wouldn't show up."

Raising an eyebrow, you look at him. "Why did she think that?"

"'Because you're suuuuuch a cooool guy.' Her words, not mine," and he giggles. He fucking giggles.

"Whoa, you don't think I'm cool?"

John's rolling his eyes now. "Not really. You seem like a normal guy to me, Dave."

You lean closer to him, your mouth barely touching his ear, as you whisper, "Guess I'll just have to show you how cool I really am." You have to fight to hold back the laughs because John goes beet red and looks at you like you just told him that you want to fuck his ass 'til he needs a wheelchair (that shit comes in later).

He quickly gets up and heads back to his daughter, "Casey, you ready for cake?"

And you're pretty sure you'll remember what she said next for the rest of your life, and how John's face looked when his sweet, innocent little baby yelled out "Hell yeah I am!"