Taming the Alpha
So break me down if it makes you feel right
And hate me now if it keeps you alright
You can break me down if it takes all your might
'cause I'm so much more than meets the eye
~ Breakdown by Seether
A/N- Thank you to my Beta Khyharah for making this chapter pretty! You are awesome.
I stood in the shower, letting the water cascade down my body. My head was under the spray and I had no intention of moving. I rested my hands on the wall and prayed to the Spirits that the agony I was in would wash away with the water. I turned the shower dial to make the water hotter but it didn't affect me in the slightest, and I sighed heavily.
I closed my eyes and put the hands resting along the wall into tight fists. I could feel my nails digging into my flesh but the pain of it didn't distract me from the blackness that hung heavy in my heart. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter as the image of her face came to my mind. The last time I had seen her when she told me that she didn't love me enough when I had gotten injured in that damn battle.
Fuck, it hurt so bad.
The minutes dragged on, but for the life of me I couldn't leave the shower. Today was the day I was cleared to leave the bed by Dr. Fang. But instead of finding joy in my freedom, I was hiding in here. I didn't want to have to look at my Dad and see that I was breaking his heart by loving a girl who just didn't love me enough.
I was so sick of that word.
Silent tears slid down my face and mixed with the water that by now had gone cold. The temperature still had no affect on my supernatural body, but I wanted to feel something; something other than the pain that was choking me.
Not enough. Never enough.
I pulled on a clean pair of sweats and jumped out of my window. There was no way I could face Dad right now, and for some reason my wolf wanted out. He was restless and needed to be outside in his woods. He was tired of being cooped up in bed. Yeah well me too, buddy.
Once under the cover of the trees I thought I would be able to calm down, but things just intensified. I continued moving in my human form deeper into the forest as if I could get away from the pain the farther I walked. The wind whistled through the trees and I could scent rain in the air. No animals could be heard and I knew that a storm was coming. As I walked I felt my skin began to tingle and my breathing became more labored.
I thought I knew the lands of La Push, that I had explored everywhere that could be explored, but the more I walked the more lost I became. For a brief second I considered phasing but I felt something pulling me into the dark depths of the forest. The pull was uncomfortable and made me worry more but I couldn't go back. I couldn't make myself turn around. It was as if my feet had a mind of their own and kept trudging along.
I don't know how long it'd been and I idly wondered if anyone was looking for me. Surely the pack could track my scent, but something twisted in my gut as if I subconsciously knew that I was not going to be found.
I stopped at the sound of my name. The voice had the deep timbre of an Alpha to it. My eyes scanned the pitch black forest looking for who had called me. There was no one in sight and I couldn't hear anyone in the clearing I was currently in. I called upon my wolf for guidance yet all I could feel from him was submissiveness. He recognized the voice, but offered no help to me.
"Who's there?" I breathed out lowering my eyes to the ground in respect to the presence that I could now feel but not see.
I am Taha Wi, young Jacob.
"That's not possible." The wind spun the leaves on the ground as I heard the throaty chuckle of the man who couldn't possibly be the son of Taha Aki, I wondered how many drugs Doc Fang pumped into me to make me hallucinate this.
You have fought your birthright, Jacob. You fight your wolf, constantly battling for control. Taha Wi's disappointment clouded over me for a second and I had to blink several times to try to clear my mind.
"I don't want it. Sam can be Alpha for as long as he wants, I don't care about any damn genetics that say I have to be the leader." I ground out through my teeth, angry that he thinks he has the right to tell me how to live my fucking life.
Good. Get angry young Jacob. You will need it. I tried to move my feet so I could get the fuck away from this shit, but I my body wouldn't move.
"Let me go," I said shaking from the exertion I was putting in to leave.
Jacob Ephraim Black, your destiny has been foretold by the Spirits. You will take your place as Alpha of the Quileute pack. The Spirits will be forcing you to undergo the Alpha change, the rite of passage.
"What the fuck?! I don't fucking want this! I will not be an Alpha."
Remember your anger, young one.
A gust of wind picked up and I could faintly hear chanting in Quileute, however that didn't hold my attention for long. I felt fire roar inside of me and I could literally feel my skin burst into flames. I looked down at my body to see if I really was being roasted alive but there was nothing giving away to the fact that I was burning up other than the shaking of my limbs.
The pain just got worse from there as the bones in my legs snapped as if I was about to turn into the wolf. The bone reformed back human legs though. I sighed in relief before wailing out in sheer agony as I felt the bones in my body snapping and muscles moving to phase yet nothing happened. The sounds of my screams drowned out the chanting and tears soaked my face as my body kept trying to phase and instantly going back to normal. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. And so on.
Time passed. It could have been seconds or a whole damn week for all I knew. My mind could not comprehend anything beyond the torture from continuously being on the edge of phasing and instantly coming back from it. Somehow I had fallen to my knees though I couldn't remember the fall. My screams that had filled the clearing had long ago since faded only left me to whimpering and begging. Begging that the Spirits have mercy on me, but they never let up on my suffering.
The pain was so intense that I began to start to feel numb. It was as if my mind and body could no longer process the pain anymore, that it had reached its limit. My body was still rocking back and forth between almost phasing but I was blissfully unaware of the pain. I certainly could feel the phase but I was no longer hurting. Closing my eyes and relishing in the feeling of being disconnected from the agony, my eyes turned up to the sky. I noticed that it was light out once more so I must have been there all night or longer.
Slowly my body halted into complete stillness and I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head as I passed out.
A/N- Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and I would love to hear your thoughts on it. I have four more chapters written out, so if you review, I may be tempted to update faster ;) If you don't want to wait, because you really want to know what happens next you can find this story on Tricky Raven (I am AndiCullen104 over there). Please note that I would really hope you'll leave me some love there too if you find me at TR. Okay I'm done talking...