SilvinY: Actually, that catchphrase belongs to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. He used it all the time during his wrestling days and that's where Darthemius got it as well, along with several others.
SSJ3 Kyuubi Gohan: I have several more things planned yes.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed and without further delay, I present to you my longest chapter yet, weighing in at 18k words.
I hope you enjoy it.
Naruto stared out across the village from his hiding spot and scratched at his head in confusion.
Why the hell...was everybody acting as if nothing was going on?!
Seriously, he had told three people already that he was intending to kill the elders, not to mention his little murder fest in the Hyuuga compound. Why then, was nobody reacting to that?
Xanna's Negative Emotion Sensing wasn't picking up anything particularly out of the ordinary, except for the Hyuuga compound.
Did everyone he'd told so far decide to keep quiet about the information or something? What the hell was up with that?! And what was up with none of the Hyuuga informing anyone about the fact that the main house had just been slaughtered? Or had they simply not informed anyone yet?
Talk about being too stealthy. Those ANBU were either incompetent or he and Xanna were just that good.
Deciding that he needed to give his sensory abilities a boost, he went perfectly still and began drawing on the natural energy of the world around him. Instead of what he usually did, he simply harmonized with it and allowed it to expand his awareness instead of sealing it away.
He ignored the happy purring noise Xanna let off when she felt the natural energy pass through her. If she wasn't inside him, it would refuse to interact with her, but since she was inside him, it had no choice. The demoness really liked the feeling of being connected to the world, even if it was only by proxy. It was something very new to her.
It also boosted her ability to sense negative emotions, giving it a far greater range and strength.
It was this ability boost that he took advantage of in order to find his target.
His original plan had been derailed by the fact that everyone had apparently decided to keep quiet, which was something he hadn't expected, especially not from Hiashi. The whole point had been to flush Danzo out of whatever hole he was in so that they could get a clean shot at killing the annoying old man, but apparently it was not to be.
The man tended to lurk in a hideout even when there was nothing going on, so Naruto was quite sure that he wasn't in the open right now.
Using this sensing ability to track him down was far from being an exact science, since it gave no sense of identity, but it was the only thing he could think of right now. If Danzo was sleeping then it would be useless, beacuse sleeping people didn't give off negative emotions.
He had already tried this earlier in the night but hadn't gotten anything. At this point he either needed to get lucky and sniff the old man out or wait for the village to go up in arms over the Hyuuga Massacre as it was likely to be called.
Several minutes of sensing later, they picked up something which they guessed was probably the old man. The only reason they could make that guess was because the signature was below ground for some reason. The feeling radiated anger, frustration, along with a distinct control freak tendencies.
Naruto seriously had to wonder how nobody had found the hidden base beneath the ground, but that was a moot point right now. It was time to hunt down that old mummy and finally put an end to him.
Naruto made his way over to the spot where he was sensing the presence and decided to abandon stealth.
Lets see if we can combine our powers my dear. He thought to his lover, feeling her mental equivalent of a grin.
Three chains extended from his chest and Xanna flooded her chakra into them and shaped it into one of her favorite tricks. The chains started glowing white hot at the tip as Xanna began grinding her condensed chakra against itself in that spot.
Naruto grinned and stabbed the chains downward, easily burning through the ground and then the reinforced concrete of the walls that made up the underground room where Danzo was hiding.
Danzo had no idea what exactly was going on. One second he was just finishing the usual morning rituals(it being about two hours or so before dawn...Danzo was an early riser) that everyone does such as going to the bathroom and such and the next there were chains of white hot fire tearing apart the walls.
Things had not been going well for the old war hawk lately. To be honest, things hadn't been going well for some time, but they had reached a whole new low after Uzumaki was brought back from his last mission by Jiraiya.
That backstabber Orochimaru had caused him so much trouble this time and he didn't understand why. They had worked together several times in the past, with both of them profiting from it. He had no idea why the snake Sannin would choose to so blatantly admit that they had set the Uzumaki up to die.
Well that was not exactly true, he had a pretty good idea that Orochimaru thought that the chance of tempting Uzumaki over to him was too good to pass up. He really should have known better, Uzumaki Naruto didn't strike anyone as a follower if they thought about it. Hell, the only reason he even seemed to listen to Tsunade was because he felt like it.
He had hidden in these secret tunnels as soon as one of his spies had caught wind that that bit of information had been blurted out by Orochimaru and none too soon at that. He had only barely been ahead of Tsunade's ANBU.
The rumor of Xanna being Kyuubi had come at a most fortuitous time for him and he had sent one of his Root agents to worsen it. His intention had been to cause enough panic for a mob to form and attack the comatose Jinchuuriki. The powerful barrier that had risen up to protect his home had been very unexpected and unwelcome as it had allowed Tsunade time to establish order. He had been intending to turn the mob against Tsunade next, painting her as an accomplice and sympathiser of the Kyuubi and use that to install himself as Hokage. But since they hadn't been able to actually kill Uzumaki, their anger and fear couldn't be directed elsewhere.
He hadn't actually believed that rumor, so it had shocked him rather badly when the woman he had sent Fū to capture had openly revealed herself to be the Kyuubi. No wonder the man had failed.
Still, he hadn't lost hope of coming out on top in this quite yet. The situation had still been volatile and he knew that he only needed to wait for a while for tension to boil over and then take advantage of it.
His plans were rudely torn apart when those chains had crashed through the walls and Uzumaki Naruto dropped down from the hole he had cut into his hidden base. Danzo had no idea how the plan wrecking oaf had even managed to learn that the base was there and even less of an idea as to how he had known exactly where Danzo was.
"Good morning Danzo." Naruto greeted as if they had simply encountered each other in the street.
"How are you still alive?! The medical reports said that you had suffered mortal injury to your chakra coils!" Danzo demanded loudly, he usual composture lost in the face of the fact that this infuriating man had torn apart so many plans. Why wouldn't he just die?!
"You've been making quite the nuisance of yourself Danzo and we're going to put an end to you once and for all. No amount of fancy tricks will be enough to save you this time." Naruto continued to speak as he advanced on the old man, completely ignoring the question.
Danzo backed away rapidly, hurriedly releasing the seals on his right arm. "Root! Protect me, I'm releasing the seals on my arm!"
The old man was fortunate that the door was on his side of the room and he wasted no time in retreating through it.
"It's no use running worm, there will be no escape from us."
Danzo risked a glance back even as his Root shinobi rushed past him to engage the enemy, wanting to know what was with the suddenly female voice.
The sight of Uzumaki with glowing crimson eyes and black slits, along with nine fox tails waving about, caused him to go pale.
"Kyuubi..." He whispered to himself and kept running.
What the hell was going on?! Wasn't the demon supposed to be free now? How was the beast able to use Uzumaki's body like that?
He wasn't skilled enough to seal a demon, especially not one of such power, but Jiraiya could probably do it. His idea for getting out of this was to escape elsewhere and let the toad Sannin deal with it or at least have all the might of Konoha arrayed against the Uzumaki while the demon was resealed into another container.
Naruto and Xanna easily cut through the suicidal charge of the Root shinobi, simply moving forward and slaying them without bothering to attempt anything defensive. Sage Mode enhanced toughness prevented physical weapons from doing any harm worth mentioning and the few Ninjutsu launched at him were harmlessly absorbed into the glove.
The only one that proved to be any danger at all was an Aburame that had for some reason been shirtless and purple. The purple color turned out to be some odd form of insect that was transferred upon skin constact. Naruto could feel the tiny bugs gnawing on the hand he had used to cut the man open but failing to do much as he healed faster than they could hurt him. A surge of Xanna's corrosive chakra swiftly wiped them out and they refocused on the real prey.
A chain speared forward, catching Danzo through the leg before he could turn a corner and started dragging him towards Naruto and Xanna. The two were surprised however when the man's body wavered like an illusion and then reappeared some distance away.
"That technique again? How irritating." Naruto commented idly even as they continued to pursue the man behind the corner.
"Fūton: Shinkūha(Wind Release: Vacuum Wave)!"
The wind blade that Danzo had hoped to use to cut down his pursuer hit Naruto directly in the chest and caused a deep gash. Unfortunately for Danzo, that gash healed over rapidly, leaving only some blood as a sign that it had even happened.
"Now that was some impressive control of the wind element." Naruto commented as he sent chains to impale the old man again. In the narrow corridor, Danzo couldn't dodge and was forced to use Izanagi again.
He wasn't being sarcastic either, it really was impressive to have that kind of control of wind. Creating blades of wind was much more difficult than creating a gust. The fact that the technique had caused that kind of injury on him was nothing to sneeze at.
Danzo, seeing that he needed a more powerful attack, flew into more hand seals.
"Fūton: Shinkū Taigyoku(Wind Release: Vacuum Great Sphere)!"
Naruto simply used his glove to absorb the dense air ball coming at him, causing Danzo to grit his teeth in frustration. He wasn't given any time to do anything more however as his own technique was lobbed at him and he once again couldn't dodge due to the tight corridor.
Naruto frowned as the man wavered again and reappeared unharmed despite the fact that the technique had ripped him apart.
"What an irritating ability, no doubt it has something to do with all those Sharingan eyes in your arm." Xanna said as she took control of Naruto's body and sped up her advance. She wanted to kill this annoying old man already.
The sight of all those eyes implanted into an arm of all things had surprised both the demoness and her host, but it changed nothing. Danzo was still going to die. The fact that the arm was discolored in an eerily familiar manner wasn't missed either.
Danzo frowned as he saw that his wind techniques were being negated so easily. Those gloves were absurdly useful. He would have liked to have a pair of them himself. Clearly he needed to use something that wouldn't be so easily absorbed.
"Mokuton: Daijurin no Jutsu(Wood Release: Great Forest Technique)!"
Seeing wodden stakes start to grow out of Danzo's arm was another surprise but countered easily enough. Danzo couldn't possibly muster the same amount of power with it as Senju Hashirama and the narrow corridor worked to the advantage of whoever could exert more brute force.
Thinking about the why and how of Danzo having the Mokuton would be reserved for later. Neither demon nor container forgot that they had another arm made of Senju Hashirama's cells safely sealed away though. It would be a truly uncanny coincidence if those two things weren't connected somehow.
"Agni Schiwatas(Breath of the Fire God)!"
The immense heat emanating from 'her' right palm disintegrated the approaching wood and Xanna wasted no time lunging into a slash that forced Danzo to use another Izanagi to save himself.
A Sharingan closes every time he does that. Naruto pointed out, having been paying attention to the arm while Xanna was controlling their shared body.
Acting on the information instantly, the demoness lunged for the arm and ripped it off before Danzo could react properly. Unfortunately, the arm grew into a large tree as soon as it hit the ground and smashed apart the ceiling, causing dirt and broken concrete to rain on Naruto and Xanna.
They could hear alarms being raised on the surface, but ignored them. It wasn't important right now.
Danzo held on to what was left of his right arm and fled towards the exit while he could. He could only use Izanagi one more time now that his arm was gone and that was with the Sharingan in his eye socket, which he had transplanted out of his arm after losing Shisui's Mangenkyo.
Either way he needed to get out of here, this narrow battleground heavily favored the monster chasing him.
A spear of lightning hit him in the back and forced him to use that final Sharingan. He didn't bother even turning around as he ran for the exit, nor did he bother to wonder where the lightning bolt came from.
Naruto once again relinquished control to Xanna as she speedily chased after the old man. He had never allowed himself to forget that he still had one of Kakuzu's False Darkness techniques stored in his gloves and it had come in handy here.
Danzo knew that he was close to the exit now and ran faster. It didn't help him though as he was grabbed by the back of the neck and flung back deeper into the base.
He picked himself up once again and stared down the crimson eyed demon whose gaze bored into him with a sickeningly powerful killing intent. There was no point in running since the way back was blocked.
"You've tried to take Naruto from me, not to mention your attempt at kidnapping me. You will die for these and other transgressions." Xanna said and advanced on the motionless old man.
"Any last words?"
"Just a few," Danzo said coldly, preparing to use his last resort. "Ura Shishō Fūinjutsu(Reverse Four Symbols Sealing Technique)!"
Xanna reared back in surprise, not having expected this in the slightest. Naruto forcefully assumed control and acted to counter the effects of the dangerous sealing technique.
"Gogyō Fūin(Five Elements Seal)!"
He slammed his clawed fingers into Danzo's chest to apply the seal and then leaped back across the corridor. As he had expected, the addition of an odd numbered seal to an even numbered one screwed up the original.
Instead of everything in a large sphere being sealed, the Reverse Four Symbols Seal warped weirdly as it tried to expand but kept failing. In the end it turned inward on itself and sealed Danzo into himself until nothing but a piece of chest was left, the seal on it standing out starkly.
Phew, that was close. Naruto sighed internally with relief.
How dare he! That bastard, I wanted to rip his guts out! Xanna fumed.
Oi oi, just be glad we didn't get sealed into his corpse, that would have really sucked. Naruto thought to her, feeling kind of amused at the cause of her anger. You would have gotten out soon enough, but it would have killed me.
True enough, I suppose I was being overconfident again. She said with a sigh, remembering the Jashin incident.
Well you can't help being such a sexy beast. He snickered at her.
I hope you realise that I'm going to be the one killing the elders as compensation for you mocking me. She informed him.
What? But why? Do you have any idea how much I was looking forward to killing those two assholes?! Naruto protested.
Maybe you should have thought of that before you made fun of me, but I suppose I can let you kill them in exchange for something else. She answered with a fake sigh.
Such as? He asked suspiciously.
You can kill them, but then you won't be getting any sex for a month.
Go ahead and kill them then. He sulked. It just figures that in spite of the fact that you're a demoness of amazing power, you're still using that cheap trick to blackmail me into doing things your way.
Yes, the irony of it is rather amusing isn't it beloved? This is one of the reasons why being a female is better.
Naruto didn't reply and simply Hiraishin'd back to the apartment.
Naruto gazed at the chaotic beehive of activity that was going around the collapsed part of Danzo's hidden Root base and nodded to himself. Things were finally heating up.
He was currently in a shadowy corner where one of his Hiraishin markers was placed. He didn't have too many of those around Konoha, but having a few teleportation spots was always good. He had several outside the village as well.
Tsunade and Jiraiya were both there from what he could see, along with some other familiar faces. No doubt they would soon figure out that it had been him, if they hadn't already.
Naruto surmised that they had probably increased the protection around the other two elders, so he'd need to draw some attention away from them first. He didn't actually want to slaughter the shinobi of Konoha wholesale, even if most of them were morons for trying to lynch him. That would be just pointless bloodletting and he wasn't aiming to completely gut Konoha anyway. That would upset many of the people he cared about.
His plan was more or less back on track either way and it was time to get to it.
Making two shadow clones, he proceeded to run to a very nice house that was a short distance away in the high end residential sector and dove headfirst through a window without pausing.
Kimura, the youngest and only female member of the civilian council shrieked in fright as the black clad man of monstrous proportions crashed through her window and stood up with a roll.
"Uzumaki!" She shrieked again as the man advanced on her and then grabbed her by the throat. She put up a futile struggle as she was pushed against a wall and the grip around her throat loosened enough to let her breathe.
"Shut up and calm down." He ordered and gave her neck a light squeeze to emphasise his point.
The woman nodded fearfully and looked at her captor with terrified green eyes.
"Now I'm sure you think I'm here to kill you..." She got even more scared.
"...or rape you..." She started shaking.
"...or maybe even torture you a bit." By now she was hyperventilating and crying hysterically.
"But that's actually not what I'm here for." As soon as the words registered she calmed down enough that she was only sniffling slightly.
"W-W-What are you h-here f-for then?" She stuttered fearfully.
"Oh, I'm just here to kill a little time and deliver a warning while my clones murder your two buddies on the council." Naruto explained.
"W-what, kind of w-warning?" She asked again, choosing not to focus on the fact that both Akiyama and Ishida were likely going to be dead soon if they weren't already.
"Unlike the other two morons that did a lot to make my childhood hell, you never did anything to me." He told her, causing her to sigh in relief before he continued. "However, I know that was only because you were too young and in no position to do anything at the time."
She whimpered again, certain that he was going to kill her.
He leaned in to whisper into her ear. "Next time, make sure you think a lot harder before you decide to screw someone over, because you never know how that someone is going to turn out in the future. The only reason you're going to see another day, unscathed and unspoiled, is because I'm actually a pretty nice guy if I do say so myself, but I could have easily turned out to be a very bad guy."
Having said what he had intended to say, Naruto let the dark haired woman go and left through the front door.
As soon as he was gone, she collapsed to the floor, shuddering uncontrollably. Having her own helplessness rubbed in her face like that, telling her that she was only being spared from death and suffering on a whim... It left her shaken in a way that not even the Kyuubi attack had shaken her.
What the hell had they been thinking, provoking that man?! Of course, she knew what they had been thinking...he hadn't seemed all that dangerous, at least not from behind the protection of other Konoha shinobi, despite the fact that they had been the ones trying to convince the Sandaime to execute him because he was too dangerous. Only now, that she had seen just how easily he could have destroyed her, did it hit her how stupid they had been.
Her colleagues would clearly never get to have this little enlightenment, but Kimura decided that she was never going to antagonize a shinobi again. Any one of them could become a missing-nin and decided to get some payback on her before leaving.
Would it be safer to stay in Konoha or go somewhere where there were no shinobi?
She would think about it later...once her body stopped shaking so badly.
Naruto gazed at the burning house of councilor Akiyama, the oldest of the three councilors and wondered why Ishida's house wasn't burning. The shadow clones were supposed to kill both of them after all.
The memories hit him suddenly and provided the answer, making him facepalm at himself. Ishida had a wife and two teenaged daughters. As soon as his shadow clone had caught sight of their terrified faces he hadn't been able to go through with it. With a sigh he decided to let it go. It wasn't as if he'd be able to do anything different anyway. He wouldn't be able to make widows and orphans just because he wanted some payback on that asshole and he couldn't use the same justification that he had used with the Hyuuga either. In the grand scheme of things, Ishida wasn't really important, he was just a stupid, narrowminded asshole.
The man's wife and daughters had never done anything to him as far as he knew and he couldn't bring himself to cause them pain just for the sake of satisfying his own anger. He was still a sucker for a crying girl. He would have to be satisfied with scaring the living daylights out of the man.
Akiyama had a wife and son once, but they had died during the Kyuubi attack, so his clone felt no compunction about sending the spiteful old man to the grave.
"What do you think you're doing Uzumaki-san?" A voice from behind him asked coldly.
Naruto turned around calmly, having sensed her a short time ago, though he had to admit that she was quite good at concealing her presence.
"I appear to be killing people in preparation of becoming a missing-nin kitten." In a tone that suggested that he had only just discovered this.
Uzuki Yuugao twitched at being called that detestable nickname. It was hardly the first time that someone had made a crack about her ANBU mask, but she absolutely loathed being called kitten. She had been one of the ANBU on watch to enforce Tsunade's state of martial law. It was just her luck to be stationed nearby.
"I see, in that case I have no choice but to kill you." She said, even more coldly as she drew her sword.
"With only one sword?" He asked with a smirk and continued. "Watch this."
Nine chains extended from his back and their tips slowly formed into vaguely sword like shapes.
"Kyutoryu(Nine Sword Style)." It was more of a gag than anything else, since it needed so much focus that he couldn't even move while doing it. It would have been more useful and easier if he hadn't forced the chain tips out of their usual spike shape, but then it wouldn't be quite so funny.
Yuugao swallowed at seeing the array of weaponry pointed at her but stood her ground.
Naruto grinned at her and decided that he could afford to have some fun here before moving on to the elders.
What followed actually left Naruto seriously impressed by the purple haired ANBU's skill with a blade. She was definitely much better at it than him. He kind of regretted not asking for lessons, but since he had given the Kusanagi to Tenten, it was a moot point anyway.
Yuugao on the other hand was incredibly frustrated. The infuriating blond just stood there and let the chains do all the fighting. He wasn't even all that good, he just had so many weapons to swing, along with the fact that the chains had no joints, that she wasn't able to get close to him.
When she finally saw an opening, she instantly lunged at him, intending to impale him. Unfortunately for her, Naruto had been counting on that and caught her sword with his bare hand, the deadly blade only barely able to make a cut on his Senjutsu enhanced skin. In no time at all, Yuugao was bound with another chain, the previous ones having retracted.
Just to screw with her, he took her ANBU mask off and leaned in as if he was about to kiss her, barely restraining his laughter at the fury in her eyes.
"Alas my dear kitten, we were not meant to be. At least we had one dance together." He said dramatically and then sent her spinning into a bush, throwing her mask into the same general direction with a chuckle.
Sensing the rapid approach of more shinobi, he started running away. That swordswoman was going to be up any second as well and she was going to be pissed.
Now, one might ask why he didn't just Hiraishin away and the answer was simple. So far he'd been keeping a lock on the marker in his apartment on a more or less constant basis as a workaround for his problem with locking onto Hiraishin markers and he wasn't doing that anymore.
Aside from that it was time to drop all this stealth crap and cause some mayhem.
Some time earlier.
"Who do you think this poor bastard used to be?" Tsunade asked as she and Jiraiya inspected the dismembered chest they had found in the hidden tunnel beneath the village.
The tree that had suddenly sprouted from underground had caused the street to cave in and one house was going to need rebuilding. Fortunately, the people living inside it had suffered nothing worse than scrapes and bruises. It was fortunate that the tree hadn't been directly under the house or there would have been casualties.
The mystery of how exactly the tree had managed to suddenly sprout from underground was currently still unsolved.
The collapse had however, revealed the existence of a tunnel network beneath the village, which they were currently tentatively exploring.
"That's a Reverse Four Symbols Sealing Technique on that chest and there's a Five Elements Seal placed over it." Jiraiya answered. "Considering where we found it, I'd say that this used to be Danzo. It would be just like him to use a suicide technique like that."
Tsunade nodded in agreement, deep in thought. She had a bad feeling that she knew who had done this. The points where the Five Elements Seal was applied had bloody wounds that would be consistent with a large, clawed hand having done the sealing.
"You there, go to the Hyuuga compound and tell one of them to get their ass over here on the double." She ordered one of the Chunin that were just standing around and looking as if they didn't know what to do with themselves.
The man nodded and ran off, probably glad that he had a well defined mission.
"Tsume, can you tell if you can get Naruto's scent from anywhere around here?" She asked the Inuzuka clan head, who was keeping watch nearby.
Tsume nodded and began sniffing around with her partner Kuromaru. A couple of minutes later, she shook her head in frustration.
"There's too much dust from the collapse in the air to get a clear scent and that bloody hunk of chest has no scent on it at all for some reason." Tsume reported.
"The Reverse Four Symbols Sealing Technique must have sealed away even all the scents in the area." Jiraiya speculated.
Tsunade pursed her lips and considered what she should do next. She didn't want to think that Naruto was the one doing this, but there was only one person in the village that had hands that big and clawed, not to mention skilled enough in Fuinjutsu to use the Five Elements Seal.
"Hokage-sama! There is another hole cut into the ground over here!" One of the nearby Jounin shouted.
"That looks like it's been burned open." Kakashi said as he looked down into the hole. He had been closer to this area and arrived just before Tsunade. His sensitive nose had already told him who had done this and it made him close his eye in resignation. He hadn't expected things to end well, but it was still hard to see.
He didn't really know how to feel about Naruto's girlfriend being the Kyuubi. On one hand, the demon was the reason that Minato-sensei was dead, but on the other, he had clearly seen how much Naruto cared for her. He needed more information before he could make a decision.
"I'm getting Uzumaki's scent over here, he was definitely the one that did this." Tsume informed Tsunade.
"But how? He doesn't know any fire Ninjutsu." Tsunade asked in confusion.
"My Kikaichu are detecting traces of Kyuubi's chakra in the area." An Aburame said as he creeped up on the group stealthily.
Everyone went deathly silent as this was revealed. It was beyond obvious that Naruto and Kyuubi were working together in this. Tsunade and Jiraiya exchanged a grim look. Naruto alone would have been a terrible enemy, but if he was partnered with Xanna, then they had no idea how to stop him.
The surprising arrival of Hyuuga Hiashi was a welcome distraction from her thoughts.
"You called Hokage-sama?"
Tsunade didn't know why the clan head had come himself, but she didn't care. She just needed a Hyuuga.
"Yes, I need you to use your Byakugan and find Uzumaki Naruto. He is currently under suspicion of having murdered Shimura Danzo." Not that Tsunade was at all upset over seeing the man dead, but she had to uphold the law( or at least make a show of it).
Hiashi pursed his lips and did not activate his Byakugan despite being ordered to do so." I am sorry Hokage-sama, but I cannot obey that order."
Tsunade scowled as she turned an annoyed look towards the man. She may have no say in the goings on of the clans, but in situations like this Hiashi had no grounds for being disobedient. "And why is that?"
"Less than thirty minutes ago, Uzumaki has slaughtered the Hyuuga main house. I am the only adult main house member remaining. In addition, he knows how to control the Caged Bird Seal beyond my own ability to do so and has rendered the entire branch house unconscious. I fear he would do them harm if I acted against him."
That was the best that Hiashi could do for Naruto at the moment. He couldn't throw his support behind a missing-nin and a criminal without bringing disaster down on his clan. Not to mention that the clan itself was in shambles and he didn't expect to retain his position as clan head for much longer anyway.
Another deathly silence ensued as they took in that bit of information.
"Why would he do that, and why were you spared?" Kakashi asked shrewdly. Naruto had never struck him as someone who did things without reason. Impulsive he may be at times, but a random butcher he was not.
Reluctantly, Hiashi explained. "After the Kyuubi's identity was revealed, the clan elders branded Hinata before I could act to stop them. Uzumaki somehow infiltrated the compound without being noticed and found out. In retaliation, he slew them all, sparing only the children. I believe that I was only spared at Hinata's request."
"But how could he know how to control the Caged Bird Seal?" Jiraiya wondered, knowing how complex that thing was.
"That I do not know." Hiashi lied. He would not reveal his part in this so openly. Perhaps later, he would inform Tsunade and Jiraiya of the truth privately or even better, let his successor deal with it.
Everyone that heard that looked suspicious, but the Hyuuga were good liars and Hiashi gave away nothing. There was nothing that could point to that being a lie, but it somehow rang false to the experienced shinobi.
In that instant, they saw a house in the residential sector going up in flames.
"Isn't that...?" Tsume began uncertainly.
"The home of civilian councilor Akiyama." Tsunade confirmed grimly. "I guess we won't be needing your Byakugan after all Hiashi."
A mere few minutes after she had sent the group of shinobi as scouts to determine Naruto's location, they returned and had one extra, in the form of ANBU operative Cat. Tsunade couldn't be sure, but there seemed to be a palpable aura of rage surrounding the purple haired swordswoman.
"Hokage-sama, councilor Akiyama is dead, but Ishida and Kimura are still alive, though they are terrified." The squad leader reported.
"I see, well at least you managed to save two of them." Tsunaded said approvingly, guessing that Naruto hadn't wanted to stick around and fight them even if he was easily more powerful. She may not like the civilian council, but she didn't dislike them enough to be happy over their deaths either. The same could not be said for Danzo, though she couldn't show it openly.
The squad leader looked uncomfortable and spoke up. "We did not Hokage-sama. Uzumaki chose to spare them. Both reported that Uzumaki had ample time to kill them but decided to leave them alive."
This confused Tsunade a great deal. She knew that Naruto hated both the civilian and the elder council and couldn't make heads or tails of his actions.
"Do you know why he spared them?"
"In the case of councilor Ishida, we learned that the man's daughters begged Uzumaki not to harm their father and apparently succeeded in convincing him."
Tsunade blinked in shock at hearing that, everyone else doing the same. She'd never heard of begging actually working in situations like this.
"What about Kimura?"
"She was too scared to be coherent."
What the hell are you doing Naruto? Tsunade asked herself furiously, trying to find some kind of reason or pattern in her fellow blond's actions.
"Hokage-sama! Uzumaki has been sighted!" One of the lookouts on the roof reported.
Instantly jumping up on the roof, she quickly noticed Naruto moving rapidly through the streets.
"What the hell is he doing?" She asked in confusion.
"He appears to be...skating...through the streets Hokage-sama." The man next to her said blandly, having no idea what to think of that.
You have GOT to teach me how to do this! Naruto exclaimed in glee as they sped down a street. He could already imagine the fun they could have by racing against each other.
Xanna was currently in control and was doing one of the most amazing things that Naruto had ever conceived of. She was coating the feet of their shared body in a layer of super smooth chakra that allowed them to slide across the ground without any friction whatsoever. Air resistance was still something of a problem, but it was easily negated by applying some repulsive force to the back of their feet. It was pretty much the exact opposite of the surface clinging exercise.
The whole thing was made even more fun due to all the shinobi throwing sharp objects at them or attempting to stop them by various means. Xanna's Negative Emotion Sensing was telling them that most of them were either scared shitless or utterly furious.
That could have been a consequences of the nine red-orange fox tails that Xanna was using as a counter-balance to make sure they didn't take an undignified tumble on the ground.
You're too much of a clumsy human to handle it. She retorted teasingly, finding his enjoyment of the situation infectious.
I can too handle it! He shot back, only realising how childish it sounded after it had left his metaphorical mouth.
Handle it then. And with that she unceremoniously let him have control, not giving any warning whatsoever. She continued moulding chakra around his feet though, since Naruto didn't know how to do it himself.
Naruto wobbled dangerously due to his body suddenly lacking tails(he suspected she had deliberately removed them to see if he'd faceplant due to the sudden change in his center of balance), but managed to steady himself before he took a nosedive into the dirt. Now steady, he took the opportunity to be smug, ignoring the three shuriken that bounced away from his arms and chest.
Ha, told you I could handle it!
Wha..? OH SHIT!
Indeed, they were rapidly coming up to a sharp turn in the road. A sharp turn which Naruto didn't know how to navigate. He knew that Xanna had done something with her legs and tails to divert momentum or something, but he had no idea how to repeat that maneuver.
Seeing as his partner was waiting for him to crash into a building and prove her right instead of helping, Naruto decided to improvise. He stabbed a chain into the ground at an angle, with every intention of using it to slingshot himself around the corner.
This unfortunately increased their speed considerably, making Naruto's eyes tear up from the wind and turning the surroundings into a blur that was only distinguishable due to having Senjutsu enhanced eyeballs. It made the whole thing even more awesome though.
Isn't that your former sensei? Xanna questioned, spotting a silver haired man with a cloth face mask.
That's Kakashi alright. Naruto confirmed.
The man had his Sharingan out and was already making rapid handseals. A wall of earth rose from the ground as soon as he finished, completely blocking off the street.
Naruto simply grinned at the tactic and pushed off the ground, going into a flying kick that was very much inspired by Gai.
"Dynamic EXIT!" He shouted as he passed by Kakashi, just to mess with the man as he easily smashed through the thick wall and continued with the slide on the other side.
How did he know we would go this way? Xanna asked curiously.
That is a very good quest-
His thoughts were interrupted due to having slammed into a wall, despite the fact that his eyes were telling him that it had been an empty street.
When they finally stopped at the end of a long trench dug into the earth, Naruto blinked in confusion, his face mostly hidden under a curtain of unbound, bright gold hair. Judging by the trees and grass, they were in one of Konoha's training grounds, which meant that the 'empty street' they had crashed through had actually been Konoha's outer wall. The minor injuries he had sustained were already healed, but this was definitely weird.
Impossible. With both of us being in one body, we would have been immune to Genjutsu even without your dense chakra blocking them.
A few more seconds of contemplation brought to mind one other possibility.
Yin Release Genjutsu might work though. He said pensively.
Don't tell me that you actually helped someone in this village learn how to use that? The demoness asked incredulously.
It could only have been Naruto that had helped someone with that, as he was the only one that did any dabbling with Yin and Yang release in Konoha. Her own ability to create a human form body was actually a heavily specialised form of Yin-Yang release(the only one she could use in fact), which was what had gotten him interested in the subject to begin with.
Ah...I may have? One Yuuhi Kurenai came to mind.
A sigh was the only answer he received. Honestly, sometimes he was just too helpful to people that he actually liked.
It seemed apparent now that Kurenai had used her Yin Release Genjutsu to funnel them towards Kakashi and when that hadn't worked, towards the outer wall, which was the sturdiest wall in the village. The intention had probably been to knock him out instead of having him crash through it though.
Well played Kurenai, your skill with Genjutsu has improved a great deal. Naruto thought to himself.
Not another word was said as Xanna reestablished her perfect chakra concealment and they ran off, leaving a clone to lead the village on a chase again.
"Well well well, if it isn't the humans I'm about to kill." Xanna drawled as she approached Homura and Koharu at a leasurely pace, dragging 'her' claws over the wall as she went, easily gouging grooves into it.
The token ANBU guard left to both protect and keep watch of the elders had already been knocked unconscious and most of the other shinobi in the village were still chasing Naruto's clone.
"You filthy demon! I knew we should have killed you when you were a baby!" Koharu spat.
"You appear to be mistaking me for Naruto, but rest assured that he is perfectly human." Xanna replied.
"At least you would have died with him then!" Homura shot back, just as angry as his old teammate.
"No, I would not have. At worst I would have needed a decade or two to reform my body."
"Why are you here then?! Have you come to gloat over how you've beaten us? Deceived Konoha with your posession of the son of the man who sealed you and played us all for fools all these years?!" Koharu yelled at the calm demoness.
"You place so much value in this village when it is but a speck of dust in the wind." The demoness said in an almost musing tone. "And I am not possessing Naruto, he has willingly shared his body with me."
"But why...?" Homura asked, the last statement shocking him so badly that he couldn't even muster up any anger. He and Koharu had been one of those that had believed that Naruto had been controlled and possessed by the Kyuubi.
"Because I love her, it's that simple." Naruto explained with a shrug, seamlessly switching control of his body with Xanna.
"But she killed your parents, along with so many others!" Koharu yelled at him, trying to get him to see reason.
"Correction, she killed my mother. My father commited overglorified suicide." Naruto replied blandly.
"You don't care?!" The old woman asked in an incredulous yell.
"Not in the slightest." He answered with a smirk.
"What kind of monster are you?!" Homura piped up angrily.
"A monster? They were the ones that chose to attack Xanna when she approached the village, not the other way around. Am I supposed to be angry at her for defending herself?" He asked back.
"But the Kyuubi is a demon! What else were we supposed to do?!"
"That's the kind of stupidity that got you into this mess to begin with." Naruto snickered. "Not that I'm complaining mind you, if it wasn't for morons like you, I probably never would have met her."
Both elders fumed at the blond that was quite clearly mocking them. "You're talking as if she wasn't going to attack us."
"I wasn't actually, but that no longer matters." Xanna repllied while inspecting the claws on Naruto's right hand, once again in control.
"But then..." Koharu said and trailed off, her face ashen. There was no reason to think that the demoness was lying...what would be the point?
"Yes, I'm afraid everyone that night died only because they attacked me. Had nobody done so, I would not have harmed a soul. I don't make it a habit to slaughter you hapless humans without cause after all." Xanna confirmed dryly."At least not anymore."
The two elders looked even more devastated at hearing that and the body sharing lovers could easily tell why.
Both had lost daughters while battling Xanna, in Koharu's case her only child. With both of their spouses dead before then, neither one had any family left that Naruto was aware of. Not that he had bothered to look too hard. There was a monument dedicated to the people lost during the so called 'Kyuubi Attack' and all that anyone needed to do in order to find out about those was look at it.
"You've been quite the irritating pests for my beloved and now at last you will die for it." Xanna spoke ominously and raised 'her' hand in preparation for killing them.
"Stay away from my grandpa!" A young voice shouted, sounding as if it had been spoken through a blocked nose.
"No Udon! Get away from here!" Homura shouted urgently even as his grandson jumped in front of him and Koharu, joined soon after by Konohamaru and Moegi. He did not want his grandson and his friends here right now. They were just relatively fresh Genin and therefore powerless to help him and Koharu. Even if they had been Jounin, it would more than likely have been useless.
Xanna and Naruto started with slight surprise, frowning at the fact that they hadn't sensed the three children. Children were always hard to sense with her Negative Emotion Sensing as they rarely felt negative emotions powerfully enough to register. The reason why the Senjutsu given sensory ability hadn't picked them up was similar...their chakra presences were too weak.
"You have a grandson old man?" Naruto asked neutrally.
"Don't touch him! He's never done anything to you." Homura commanded.
Naruto bared his teeth in a brief snarl at the words and the tone before he spoke. "I don't kill children unless I have no choice you dried up sack of shit. Those three won't be harmed no matter what happens here, which is more than can be said for you." He hadn't known that Homura had any family left, but it didn't matter in the end. He was pretty sure that Udon's parents were dead, which would leave him feeling like crap for killing the boy's grandfather, but he intended to do it anyway.
Homura sighed in relief before Konohamaru decided to open his mouth. "if you want to hurt Udon's grandpa, then you'll have to go through us first!" Udon and Moegi nodded, clearly in agreement with the words.
Naruto raised an eyebrow at the cocky brats, easily noting that all three of them were almost literally shaking in their sandals with fear.
"Normally I might be impressed that you three haven't soiled your diapers yet, but I've still got things to do and killing these two dried up prunes is one of them. They set me up to die and I'm not going to let them get away with that."
Ishida had been spared because his daughters had begged for the man's life and the man himself was in truth nothing more than a bug to him at this point. These two had betrayed him to Orochimaru and probably Akatsuki as well in a direct attempt on his life. That was not the kind of thing that either he or Xanna were keen on letting go.
A bead of sweat trickled down the two elder's faces as the situation got even tenser and they responded to that accusation. "We did no such thing. True, it was us that suggested to Tsunade that you be observed on account of suspicious behavior, but we would never make deals with a traitor like Orochimaru or with enemies of Konoha."
Once again, Naruto frowned. They were telling the truth, both he and Xanna agreed on that. It seemed that he had been operating under a misconception here.
"Was Danzo acting alone in this then?" He asked.
Both elders nodded and Koharu spoke. "That is what we believe."
Naruto growled in frustrated anger, causing the elders and kids to back up warily, but he wasn't paying attention to that right now.
He hated the elders and really wanted to kill them. It was because of them that he had wasted so many years failing the Academy and he knew it. It had taken a lot of digging and thinking before he finally traced it back to them but he had done it. No doubt they had offered to help the aging Sandaime in the running of the village by taking over the management of the Academy. In truth it had just been their way to get their shots in at the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki without getting in trouble for it.
So many roadblocks and obstacles thrown into his path just because they couldn't keep themselves from lashing out at someone even if it was the wrong target. Not that attempting to strike at Xanna would have gotten them anything but a messy death.
Master your hatred, or it will master you. Her mental voice did a lot to calm him down and he appreciated the words that she had spoken to him for the first time long ago. Years ago, before he had freed her form the seal even, he had felt nothing but hate for Konoha and had often been lost in lurid daydreams of how he would burn it to the ground and slaughter all of it's people except for Teuchi and Ayame.
Xanna had a great deal of experience with hatred and the things it could drive a person to do. If he had wanted to, she would not have stopped him from razing Konoha to the ground, just as she would not stop him from killing the elders right now if he wanted to. But she did expect him to be fully in control of himself and choose to do it if he wished, instead of letting blind hatred drive his decisions.
Naruto had always valued her words above all else and had taken them seriously. Her advice had helped him to keep control of his own emotions and Ayame's kindness had helped him see that there was good in humans too. It had taken a lot of effort, but he had eventually been able to focus on the good things in his life and decided to simply enjoy his time with Xanna instead of focusing on getting back at people who had hurt him in the past.
Not that he didn't get back at them in many ways, but he didn't make it his primary focus. Those he cared for were more important than those he hated.
Taking a deep breath he considered what he should do. With the revelation that they didn't really have anything to do with the attempted assassination attempt on him, Xanna had lost interest in taking their lives, so it would be entirely on him to decide their fate.
His hands itched with the desire to kill them, years of anger and frustration boiling beneath the surface and demanding satisfaction for the wrong done to him, but he held it in check.
Actions and consequences.
If he killed them, his desire for some kind of revenge would be satisfied. Tsunade would be rid of their nagging and militant mindset. The snot nosed little brat in front of him would be left completely without family.
If he spared them, then they would be free to continue spewing their shit and mostly unwanted advice, but he wouldn't be robbing another child of his only family. It would piss him off to let them get away with it, but they'd be dead in a few years anyway, since they were old as dirt.
Suddenly, he was struck with inspiration.
If he really wanted to hurt them, then killing them was not the way to go about it, because death was only painful for those left behind. There was something that he could take from them that they valued more than their lives.
He gave them a sinister grin, causing them to back up again.
"I'll spare you, but I want something in return."
"What do you want?" Homura asked cautiously. There was very little that they could give him without bringing harm to Konoha in the future and he fully expected the demand to be unreasonable.
"You will retire from the council and live out the rest of your lives as ordinary civilians, never to involve yourself in village affairs again." Naruto declared with finality.
Koharu and Homura balked at the mere thought of it. They had served the village in some capacity all of their lives and to forsake that was unthinkable to them. They wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they had to live as civilians.
"You can't expect us to-" Koharu tried to say but was interrupted.
"You can either retire yourselves, or I can retire you with my claws."
The three kids tensed fearfully, having stayed silent for a while in the hope that things would resolve themselves without fighting, but they couldn't handle staying quiet anymore.
"Grandpa please, just do as he says and retire. It's better than dying isn't it?" Udon pleaded, backed up by Konohamaru and Moegi.
The elders pursed their lips in thought and decided to agree. At least this way, they could work to get back on the council after Uzumaki left.
They gave a nod to show their agreement and Naruto wasted no time in giving them his demands. "Write a letter of resignation right now and hand them to the kids, they will take it to Tsunade."
He had just now felt his shadow clone being dispersed and it wouldn't be long before he was found again. He needed to wrap things up here and move on.
The elders quickly wrote down their resignations and gave them to Konohamaru after Naruto inspected them to his satisfaction.
"And just in case you were thinking of double crossing me..." He said and pressed his palms to their forearms, leaving Hiraishin markers there.
"What is this?" Koharu asked with a frown, staring at the small black seal that now stood out prominently on her wrinkled skin.
Naruto merely gave another sinister grin.
"Hiraishin no Jutsu(Flying Thunder God Technique)."
Both elders suddenly found cold sweat beading on their faces as the blond vanished into thin air. The threat was clear. Uzumaki could reach them at any time and kill them at will. He could even do something as simple as teleporting an explosive tag to the Hiraishin seals on their skin.
Him knowing the Hiraishin certainly explained how he was able to move about the village while his home was still encircled by that barrier.
Either way, they wouldn't be able to risk going back on their agreement with the executioner's axe over their heads like this. It wouldn't be too hard for Uzumaki to figure out if they did so, since he no doubt had quite a few Hiraishin beacons scattered over the village. All he needed to do was teleport in and ask any random villager who was on the council while under a Transformation Technique.
Konohamaru, Udon and Moegi didn't have the same knowledge of the technique, but they understood the blatant threat. They would make sure that Tsunade did not allow the elders back on the council even if they tried.
That was fiendishly underhanded in its cruelty beloved. Xanna purred approvingly.
On the surface, sparing the elders with nothing but a demand for retirement would seem merciful, but for people who valued their ability to serve their village above all else it was far worse than killing them. Now they would have nothing in their lives except endless free time to think of the things they had lost, along with feeling useless because their purpose was suddenly taken from them. The fact that it allowed Naruto to avoid feeling bad for taking away a young boy's only family was just icing on the cake.
If they tried going back on their word, they would live in fear and if they didn't, they would live without purpose.
I know, the looks on their faces were just beautiful. Naruto responded with a grin. Are you ready for the final act my love? He asked with a sense of anticipation.
I can hardly wait. She responded eagerly.
As they had planned, Xanna stopped concealing his chakra and they both flared it powerfully, announcing their presence even to those who weren't sensors. As a final touch, Xanna directed a vast amount of her own power to Naruto's throat. As soon as he felt the immense concentration of chakra there, he roared as loudly as he was able, his voice empowered far beyond what either was capable of alone.
Konoha and much of it's surroundings were shaken by the thundering bellow of an angry god, causing every animal in the area to either run or duck for cover. In the village itself, every human being felt their bones quiver with dread and every child started crying in fear. The roar was powerful enough to make the walls and windows vibrate all across the village.
Xanna's Negative Emotion Sensing let them feel the wave of instinctive terror that swept through the village and it made both of them grin. The roar was a challenge to the warriors of the village, telling them that they were under threat by a power far beyond them. Now it was time to see who would answer the challenge.
Waiting for Konoha's shinobi to arrive, Naruto stood in an empty training ground, surrounded by trees that had been splintered by the force of his roar. His vocal chords had long since healed from the damage that had been done to them by doing that and he rubbed at his slightly sore throat.
Well, that was fun...and painful. He commented.
It was arousing that's what it was. If we weren't about to get into a fight, I would rape you right now. Xanna replied, her voice smouldering.
I'm tempted to screw the plan and then screw you right after.
Tempting though it is, we've put too much effort into this to abandon it now, not to mention that we're behind schedule.
True, but we might as well keep busy while Konoha changes its underwear and comes to find us. Naruto thought at her with an amused grin and clapped his hands together.
Focusing inward, he pressed down on the natural energy that was still in his coils with the weight of his life force, imprinting it with his own personal signature. As soon as that was done, he stilled it and directed it to the Eight Gates so that it would become part of his body.
Hearing Xanna's almost orgasmic moan in his mind as his life force became even stronger made Naruto grin for a moment before he stilled again and drew even more natural energy from the environment, this time using it to maintain Sage Mode.
Finished with his preparations, Naruto stood with his arms crossed and waited for the first ones to arrive.
Tsunade's mind worked feverishly to figure out what the hell was going on as she sped towards Naruto and Xanna's chakra signatures, but was coming up with nothing.
She could fully understand Naruto's need to leave the village, that she had actually been half expecting. She and Jiraiya had both been perfectly willing to make a show driving him off in order for the more paranoid elements of the village to settle down, while letting Naruto and Xanna leave without really making a problem out of it. All the Jounin she had with her at the moment were ones that she knew could be trusted to go along with it.
What she hadn't seen coming was for the two of them to go on a rampage over the village. Worst of all was the fact that she couldn't make heads or tails of her fellow blond's actions. He was killing some people while sparing others without any apparent rhyme or reason aside from whatever whim struck him at the time.
The group she was leading, which consisted mostly of the sensei's of Naruto's graduating class, along with some others, were wondering much the same thing.
When they finally reached the most troublesome of blond's, he was still standing with his arms crossed in the exact same spot as before. This time however, he was standing in the middle of a group of shinobi(both regular and ANBU) who were trying and failing to attack him. Anyone that attempted to get close to him would end up getting smacked with either a chain or a fox tail. Ninjutsu were similarly useless as they either ended up getting absorbed into the glove or blocked by a Red Yang Barrier that formed between two chains.
"Too weak, you are all far too weak. You need to train for ten thousand years before you can think of touching me." Naruto scoffed as he easily defended himself, not even needing to move. It was a rather unfair comparison, since he had Xanna to help him control the chains and tails, as well as paying attention to their surroundings, but that was not the point.
"Naruto! What the hell are you doing?!" Tsunade yelled out when she saw him toying with the shinobi attacking him. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Xanna was back to being sealed inside him.
"Hey there Tits, have you come to join the party?" Naruto asked with a grin, his eyes glowing with amusement.
Tsunade growled and charged into the attack, intent on punching that grin right off his face. To her surprise, Naruto let her pass through the chains, but caught her fist in his palm, making her halt in her tracks. With a shove, he forced her to backpedal.
While Tsunade took a moment to catch her balance again, Asuma and Gai went to attack, but found themselves easily smacked away by chains.
Slashing his hand through the air, Naruto cut through the snakes that had been intending to wrap around him, shocking Anko, who had thought that she was supposed to be invisible.
"How did you know I was there?" She asked.
"Kurenai already used her Yin Release Genjutsu on us not very long ago, so Xanna is fluctuating her own Yin aspect to block it." Naruto explained with a snicker.
Kurenai's eye twitched with irritation at hearing that the blond had once again found a way to be immune to her Genjutsu. That had been annoying when he'd first discovered it and it was even more annoying now.
"That's not going to work either Kakashi." He commented, seeing his old sensei activating the Mangenkyo Sharingan. "I have a space-time stabilization seal placed on me, preventing any warping of space-time from being used on me."
"Why are you doing this Naruto?" The masked Jounin asked.
"Indeed, this is most unyouthful." Gai added.
The battle had lulled for a moment as everyone tried to figure out a way to reach the blond and came up with nothing. They couldn't use any particularly destructive Ninjutsu without harming the many unconscious shinobi on the ground around Naruto and Taijutsu was proving useless.
"I was actually waiting for you guys to show up, though there's less of you than I expected to be honest." He said airily and threw a paper airplane at Tsunade.
Naruto chortled as everyone ducked for cover in the belief that it was a seal of some kind. "It's not a seal. Damn you guys are paranoid."
Still shaking his head in laughter, he gave them a wave and vanished in a Hiraishin teleportation, having disabled the space-time stabilizer while he was talking to Kakashi.
While those who recognised it were staring in stunned shock, Anko picked up the paper airplane and unfolded it. As soon as she read it, a sweatdrop formed on her head and she passed it to Tsunade.
As soon as the busty Hokage read the note, her face took on an extremely pissed off look and she stomped off in the direction that she could sense Naruto was now, leaving everyone staring in confusion.
Picking up the now crumpled note, Jiraiya started reading out loud.
"Dear mixed group of people who I used to work/train/fight/gamble/have sex with, you are cordially invited to the wedding of Uzumaki Naruto, the baddest ass you will ever meet and Xanna, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, Queen of Demons, Crimson Calamity, etc., etc. Thank you for joining the pre-wedding festivities and rest assured that we will not pay for any damages or injuries incurred as a result of said festivities. If you choose to attend, then please follow the chakra signature to the designated location."
Everyone was sweatdropping heavily by the end of the short message.
"All this...just to make one last hurrah? And what the hell is this about marrying the Kyuubi?" Asuma asked in disbelief.
"I get the feeling it's not going to be the last hurrah by a long shot." Jiraiya muttered not very quietly, completely ignoring the second question.
He had to give his godson credit though. He had balls, going after the Kyuubi and somehow succeeding in getting the demoness to marry him.
Tsunade stopped near Sakura, Hinata and Tenten, who were for some reason already there and hiding in a small outcropping of trees. The location itself was nothing particularly out of the ordinary. Just another training ground to the east of the village.
"What are you three doing here?" Tsunade asked suspiciously. Naruto's graduating class had been deliberately excluded from the manhunt for the blond, these three girls in particular due to having close ties to him...And they wanted their subterfuge to be limited to as few people as possible.
"Naruto sent clones to pick us up and bring us here for some reason." Sakura explained, keeping her eyes on the figure of Naruto that was standing in the clearing some distance away.
"What is he doing?" Hinata wondered quietly, seeing that her big brother was just standing there and looking focused.
The question turned out to not need any answer, as a crimson chakra mist began to seep out of Naruto's body and soon formed the nine tailed figure of Xanna. By now the others had caught up and were staring at the pair of them, completely unsure about their next course of action.
"Oi Xanna, the sun is rising." Naruto commented idly as he put his hand around her waist. Both of them ignored the crowd that was observing in wary confusion.
"I can see that Naruto. I did tell you that your overdramatic idea about getting married just as the sun rose was going to fail didn't I?" Xanna said with a slight scoff.
"That you did." He agreed in good humor. "Good thing it's not really important then isn't it?"
The demoness simply hummed her agreement. "Well, I went along with it because I figured you deserved a say in the matter after eleven years of stubborn pursuit, but now it's time for you to become mine forever."
"I was always yours and you know it." He responded with a grin.
"Then by the power vested in me...by me, I now pronounce us husband and wife. There will be no objections." Xanna declared, aiming a short glare at the hidden shinobi.
"I just love how you've given yourself authority to marry us without even asking for an 'I do'." Naruto said dryly.
"Shut up and kiss the bride." She commanded.
Naruto had no problems obeying that order. "Yes ma'am."
A moment after the kiss began, Naruto felt her powerful chakra being forced into his coils, scorching them slightly until it settled into the Reaper Death Seal. He turned a questioning look on her, curious as to why she had done that.
"Keep that piece of me with you always, as a reminder of who you belong to and of who belongs to you."
Everyone turned blank gazes on Anko, who had her arms stretched upwards in a cheer.
"What?" She asked, confused. "It was a great wedding; short, to the point and full of girl power."
Meanwhile, Tsunade couldn't contain her rage anymore and flew at Naruto with a roar, fully intending to knock his block off.
The newlyweds managed to dodge without any particular issue, but Naruto was still kind of annoyed by the attack.
"OI! You just ruined the moment!" He protested and then took a look at the cratered ground. "Are you trying to kill me or something?"
"YEAH!" Tsunade responded with a fierce glare and gritted teeth. "DIE!"
This time, her punch did not miss and caused Naruto's head to snap sideways from the force of her blow.
"Now you're starting to PISS ME OFF!" He yelled and punched back, sending her skidding back as she blocked it by crossing her arms.
"GOOD! MAYBE NOW YOU'LL KNOW HOW I FEEL." She roared back, throwing another punch that he didn't bother dodging, instead taking it right in the gut.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SO PISSED ABOUT TITS?! SOMEONE STOLE YOUR DENTURES THIS MORNING?" The yell was accompanied by another punch that Tsunade caught in her palm, but it still sent her skidding backwards.
"I'M PISSED BECAUSE YOU DID SO MUCH SHIT JUST FOR THE SAKE OF GOING OUT AND GETTING MARRIED WITH A BANG! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE A MISSING-NIN NOW?!"
"SO FUCKING WHAT?! WHAT IS ANYONE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!"
"Umm, should we help her?" Asuma asked uncertainly, fingering his trench knives.
"YES! It is our most youthful duty to aid our Hokage!" Gai affirmed and prepared to charge into the fray.
Both Jounin suddenly felt themselves pinned by two pissed off glares, one brown and the other gold-orange.
"SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU'RE IN THE WAY!" Naruto and Tsunade yelled in perfect unison and stomped their feet to make the ground crack under Asuma and Gai's feet.
Nobody paid any mind to Xanna's amused chuckling at the scene.
The two blond's glared at each other furiously for a moment, both exuding a practically visible, golden battle aura and snorting like a pair of angry bulls.
As if by some unseen signal, they once again moved into the attack, smashing both of their fists together with enough force to cause a shockwave of air to ripple outwards.
Swiftly changing from a position of having their fists pushing against each other to a contest of strength with their fingers laced and foreheads mashed together.
The stalemate continued for a moment longer, both combatants baring their teeth in fury until Naruto suddenly grinned and lowered the amount of strength he was exerting, causing Tsunade to overbalance in her push forward. Swiftly taking advantage of the situation, Naruto bent her arms behind her back, grabbed them both with one hand, placed the now free one on the back of her head and pulled her in for a kiss.
Tsunade goggled in shocked outrage when he pushed his tongue into her mouth and refused to let her back up. When she finally managed to get one of her hands free she punched him away and wiped her mouth.
"YOU CRAZY BASTARD, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?! YOU JUST GOT MARRIED! AND DID YOU HAVE TO USE SO MUCH TONGUE?!"
"SO?! MY WIFE USED MY BODY TO RAPE ANOTHER WOMAN JUST A FEW HOURS AGO!"
"GAH! YOU KNOW I HATE IT WHEN YOU MAKE THOSE STUPID JOKES!
"HOW ABOUT THIS ONE THEN! I'M GOING TO HUNT DOWN THAT LITTLE BITCH OROCHIMARU AND BEAT THAT TONGUE EXTENDING TECHNIQUE OUT OF HIM, THEN I'M GOING TO COME BACK AND SHOVE MY TONGUE SO FAR DOWN YOUR THROAT IT'S GONNA COME OUT YOUR ASS!"
Tsunade reeled back with a disgusted sneer on her face and then resumed shouting. "THAT'S DISGUSTING YOU SICK BASTARD! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW UNHYGIENIC THAT WOULD BE?!"
That's what you're angry about? The observes thought to themselves with massive sweatdrops, having been watching this spectacle with the dull looks of people who had no idea what the hell was going on.
Both Tsunade and Naruto glared at each other for several seconds longer, both breathing heavily, though mostly from all the shouting rather than the fighting.
"Well that was fun, but I'm afraid my wife and I really need to get going. We have a honeymoon to get started with after all." Naruto said as he made his way back towards Xanna, suddenly cheerful.
"You're going to leave, just like that?" Jiraiya asked.
"Pretty much." Naruto confirmed. "I've had some good times with you guys...well except for you Asuma, I don't really know you at all. Either way it's time to move on."
Asuma said nothing, but his look was very deadpan,
"You three girls!" Naruto continued, pointing a finger at Hinata, Sakura and Tenten, causing them to suddenly pay closer attention.
"Be good now and I hope at least one of you discovers the joys of being a pervert." He finished with a grin, much to Jiraiya's amusement.
"Naruto nii-san!" Embarrassment.
"Damnit Naruto!" Anger.
Ah, they were still so easy to rile up. He really was going to miss those three.
"Bye now." Mere moments after saying that, Naruto and Xanna vanished in a Hiraishin teleportation.
Tsunade sighed tiredly as she finally made it home. It had been such a long day and it wasn't even evening yet. Usually she wouldn't be home anywhere near this fast, but she had taken the day off on account of being so damn tired. Naruto really knew how to make a mess of things when he wanted to.
Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the airtight capsule that Naruto had shoved into her mouth when he had kissed her. She hadn't dared open it anywhere in the open and it was another reason for ending her day so early.
Opening it revealed that it held only a single piece of paper with a seal inscribed on it. Below the seal itself was a tiny caption that said only 'Give me chakra!'.
Rolling her eyes, she did exactly that, dropped the seal and backed up a few steps. A tense minute later, Naruto appeared.
"Yo." Naruto greeted as if it was any other day.
Tsunade simply stared at him for a few seconds before she posed one simple question.
"Why did you kill the people you killed and why cause all that chaos?" Tsunade had needed to go over the damage and casualty reports and discovered that there was surprisingly little of either. If he had wanted to, Naruto could have crippled the village before they would have even gotten their wits about them.
"The chaos had two purposes. The first was for fun and the second was to help you." Naruto explained.
"Help me how?" Tsunade asked, slightly confused.
"By giving your shinobi a kick in the ass. Most of them are wimps that would have ended up being nothing but cannon fodder if they had to fight anyone really dangerous and I figured that showing them just how much they suck might help."
Tsunade sweatdropped slightly at that explanation. It wasn't exactly wrong and it was nice of him in a very weird way, but it was also a very strange way to go about things.
"And the killing?"
"Ah well, that was mostly revenge, but it's probably going to turn out being in your favor as well."
Tsunade raised an eyebrow and gestured for him to explain.
"The Hyuuga main house had it coming and they were nothing but a bunch of power hungry assholes anyway. Akiyama was a greedy, corrupt politician...so is Ishida actually, but I didn't want to make his daughters cry and the elders were too old to be of any use to you anymore. You need some younger blood on that council."
"But you only killed Danzo, Koharu and Homura were fine when I last saw them." Tsunade said in confusion, slightly worried that he had offed those two recently.
"I did something much worse to them." Naruto said with a wide grin, much to Tsunade's continuing confusion. "I made them retire."
Tsunade looked even more confused before she started thinking about it, After a while, the frown on her face vanished and she sighed. She had of course received their resignations and had been slightly suspicious about the timing, but now it made sense. Naruto had really hit them where it hurt with that.
"And Danzo?" She asked, making no further comment on the subject.
"Oh, he was the worst of the bunch. I'm sure you've found the corpses of his little private army?" He asked.
Tsunade nodded and gestured for him to continue.
"Well, did you know that he also had an arm made of your grandfather's cells and about ten Sharingan implanted into it?"
"WHAT?!" Tsunade exclaimed in shock.
"I'll take that as a no." Naruto said wryly.
"That bastard!" Tsunade fumed. "If I knew about that I would have killed him myself!"
"He was really annoying to kill too, kept turning his own death into an illusion with those Sharingan, not to mention that he could use the Mokuton." Naruto added, deciding to drop another bombshell.
Tsunade went pale as she connected the dots, recalling a certain ANBU member that could also use Mokuton thanks to the inhumane experiments of her traitorous teammate. It also explained the tree that had caused sprouted from underground. At first she had thought that perhaps Tenzo had done that, but then she recalled that he was out of the village on a mission.
"That bastard!" She repeated angrily. "He's been collaborating with Orochimaru, it's the only way that he could possibly have been able to use Mokuton techniques."
Naruto's ears perked up at that bit of information. He hadn't been aware that it was possible to steal a bloodline like that. He knew that he was distantly related to the Senju clan, so he guessed he probably had a better chance than Danzo at obtaining the Mokuton. Perhaps he really would hunt down the snake Sannin one of these days. Being able to grow forests at will would be all kinds of awesome.
"That invasion during your Chunin exam finally makes sense now! Orochimaru was far too well informed, even if he used to be a leaf Shinobi. Jiraiya and I have always suspected a traitor, but we thought Danzo to be too much of a patriot to work with the likes of Orochimaru."
"Ah well, it's taken care of now and I'm thinking of hunting down Orochimaru as well, so there's nothing to worry about." He said with a grin.
Tsunade gave another sigh and gave the taller blond a hug, which rather surprised Naruto. This was going a lot better than he had expected to be honest. He had been expecting at least one more punch to the face. Still, he said nothing and just put his arms around her.
"If you're going after Orochimaru then be careful, he's dangerous and I don't mean just because of his power." She warned.
"When am I not careful?" He asked rhetorically and then huffed when she shot him a disbelieving look.
They lapsed into silence for a few seconds before Tsunade spoke again.
"I was going to name you Rokudaime Hokage you know." She mumbled into his chest.
"That's a terrible idea Tsunade." He replied dryly. "What could have possibly made you think that would have ended well?"
"You can deny it all you want, but I think you would have done well as Hokage. Besides, you're the only one strong enough, nobody else has the same drive as you." She reasoned.
"It's a moot point now anyway and I want to see the world with Xanna instead of being tied to a desk."
She didn't say anything in response and Naruto spoke up again after a minute of silence.
"You want to have some goodbye sex?"
"Don't make me hurt you." She said, but there was no heat in her tone.
Naruto just chuckled at her response. "Well, I really need to get going now. Xanna wanted to talk to you about something as well. Don't ask me what, She wouldn't tell me." He added the last part when she gave him a questioning look.
"Close your eyes for a second Naruto." Tsunade prompted and Naruto did so, curious as to what she was up to.
He lowered his head when she pulled it down and felt something being placed over it and a kiss being pressed to his forehead soon after.
"Take good care of this for me, think of it as a wedding gift."
Naruto opened his eyes and discovered that the object she had put around his neck was the Shodai's necklace, something that he hadn't ever expected her to part with.
"Are you sure you should be giving me this Tsunade? It's an heirloom of your clan." Naruto asked, knowing how valuable it was to her.
"I'm the last of the Senju Naruto and I have no heirs. Thanks to you I've stopped thinking that it's cursed. Besides...somehow I think it was always meant to be yours and we're sort of related anyway."
"Well when you say it like that, how can I refuse?" He asked rhetorically with a grin.
"Just make sure you pass it on to a worthy successor when the time comes."
Naruto's eyes sparkled with mischief at the words. "Not to worry Tsunade, I won't ever let someone you wouldn't approve of to get their hands on it." Considering that he would live forever, he had no intention of passing the jewel on to anyone.
"By the way...I expect you to give me a cool Bingo book entry." Naruto said, suddenly serious.
Tsunade rolled her eyes at him and replied dryly. "Don't worry, I'll make sure it's really 'cool'."
Tsunade warily stood across from the redheaded demoness that Naruto had summoned and then left her alone with. Despite being the same woman that she had gone to the hot springs with that one time, she couldn't feel comfortable around her anymore, knowing what she was. It felt as if there was a constant, unspoken threat looming in the air.
She had to wonder if Naruto had known that people would feel like this around her once they knew her true nature. It would no doubt have been far worse for people who hadn't met her before.
"Well, what did you want to talk about?" She asked, doing her best to hide her discomfort, not knowing that it was impossible to hide such things from the redhead.
"I need your opinion on something as a medical professional." Xanna said, no longer bothering to suppress the chakra flow to her throat.
The raw power in her voice didn't make Tsunade feel any better, but she pushed it aside in favor of the words themselves. "What for? Is something wrong with Naruto?" She asked in worry, knowing that it was the only possible reason why the demoness would ask something like this.
"Not in the physical sense, but I am uncertain about his mental state." The redhead explained.
"A Yamanaka would be better in that case, they specialise in psychology." Tsunade replied as evenly as possible, keeping her worry in check.
"I do not know any and your knowledge should be sufficient." Xanna rebuffed.
"Alright then, tell me why you think something might be wrong with him." The blond assented.
"I sensed something strange from him some time ago and have been attempting to discern the cause of it myself, but I cannot be sure if I am correct, so I am looking for a second opinion. However, for you to fully grasp the situation I will need to tell you about parts of Naruto's early life."
With a sense of foreboding, Tsunade listened as the demoness began speaking.
Xanna was angry and annoyed. Usually you wouldn't be able to care about being annoyed if you were angry, but this was a special case. Her anger stemmed from the fact that she had recently been sealed, while her annoyance was being caused by her newborn container.
She had managed to exert enough influence on the seal to change it from the disgusting sewer into a forest setting, but that did nothing to block out the incessant, annoying crying of the baby she was sealed into.
Several months had passed and the stupid baby still hadn't stopped crying!
She couldn't blame him for crying considering his circumstances, but it didn't make it any less annoying to her.
The orphanage where he had been placed was run by a woman that despised the boy for having her sealed inside him. She couldn't muster enough hatred to truly harm him or kill him, because in the end he was still a helpless baby, but she frequently 'forgot' to feed him or change his diaper or any number of small things.
And she never, ever held him, no matter how much he reached out to her.
Xanna was confused.
The baby(Uzumaki Naruto if she recalled his name correctly) had stopped crying some weeks ago and she didn't know why.
His skin was still chaffing because he needed a diaper change, he was still hungry because it had been too long since he had been fed and his desperation to be held had only gotten worse.
Why then, was he not crying anymore?
It would soon be a year since her sealing and listening to the constant pitiful wailing of her container and feeling how sad he was had eventually moved even her to pity him. The boy was completely innocent and didn't deserve to be treated like this. It would have been kinder to simply kill him instead of prolonging his misery like this.
The spiteful woman running the orphanage couldn't bring herself to do that, but in her ignorance, she was being far crueler.
Sighing to herself, she pulled the boy's infantile consciousness into the seal, wanting to know why he wasn't crying anymore.
Naruto's mental representation appeared and the young blond baby looked around curiously at the changed surroundings for a moment before staring at her with sad blue eyes.
Xanna stared back, waiting to see if he would do anything else, but he didn't, which confused her. She had expected him to reach out to her like he had been doing to any other adult he saw.
Sighing to herself again, she went to pick him up, feeling childlike surprise and then happiness flash across his thoughts at the act. When she had settled herself against the headboard of the bed she had created in the seal, still holding the young boy to her, she delved deeper into his thoughts and emotions in an attempt to discern what was going on. This was easier to do while being in contact with him like this.
It was confusing, because the thoughts of a baby were fleeting and tended to jump from one thing to another randomly, but she managed to discern the cause of his suddenly changed behavior.
He had simply given up. Whatever instinct had been telling him that crying would bring a parent to help him had been overridden by month after month of experience telling him that no matter how much he cried, nobody would ever come.
Even now he was clutching at her with as much desperate strength his young limbs allowed him, fearing that she would let go. Not having anything better to do and seeing no reason to deny him this, she held him closer and ran her fingers gently over his head.
She would have ended his misery right here and right now if she could, but the seal prevented her from doing him any harm.
A few minutes later she felt his chubby hand tugging aside the yukata she had fashioned for herself, then his mouth clamping over her nipple and sucking on it, which caused her to raise a crimson eyebrow at the boy.
"Idiot child, even if I had any milk to give you, it wouldn't do you any good in here." She muttered quietly and tried to pull him away.
Immediately he started tearing up, but was apparently trying to choke it down. Bitter experience telling him once again that crying would only serve to make his throat sore and eyes sting.
With yet another sigh, she brought him closer again and let him do as he pleased. He was just hungry and it seemed to make him feel better if nothing else. A baby being so depressing was just too pitiful for words.
A two year old Naruto cooed as he tried to grab onto the lock of red hair that Xanna was dangling in front of him, delighting in the game.
She had taken to bringing him into the seal every so often and the boy was always happy to see her. He didn't seem to retain any conscious memory of these visits, but she could see that he was behaving slightly differently.
Not only did he not cry anymore, but he had also taken to avoiding any adults that he saw(as much as he was able to as a baby anyway).
Xanna had also learned how to use tiny amounts of her chakra to keep his body going and extract as much energy from the meals he did get. She wasn't sure if the caretakers were doing it on purpose or not, but they gave him just enough food to keep him hungry almost constantly. But with her help, he was managing to stave off malnutrition.
Naruto happily babbled nonsense at the demoness that currently had him wrapped up in her tails, all the while waving another in front of him while he tried to catch it.
When he finally caught hold of it, he presented it to her triumphantly with a giggle and opened his mouth to speak.
"Kaa-san! Go' it!"
Xanna froze in shock at what he had called her. He had never called her that before.
In retrospect, perhaps she should have been expecting it. She was the only one that ever payed any attention to him after all, even if he couldn't remember it when he was awake.
She needed to set him straight though,
"I am not your mother Naruto." She said quietly, but firmly.
"Kaa-san!" He gurgled back at her, waving the bushy tail he was holding at her.
"No." She repeated.
He giggled at her and started chewing on the end of the tail. When she pulled it away from his mouth he giggled some more and spoke again. "Kaa-san gibbit!"
"I am not your mother." She said again, this time with a harder tone.
Naruto's lip started trembling and he buried his head into her chest, obviously distressed by her harsh tone.
Sighing, she petted his head and made some shushing noises that had so far never failed to calm him down. Naruto once more babbled something indistinct about 'Kaa-san' and went quiet, causing Xanna to sigh again. Less than three years old and he was already so stubborn.
She couldn't believe she was actually considering allowing him to call her that, but it wasn't as if he would remember when he woke up anyway.
Xanna hummed a random tune to the small blond boy she had wrapped up in her tails, calming him down from his latest nightmare. He had recently turned six and had been suffering from them for a couple of years now.
Apparently the more he grew, the less guilt the caretakers in the orphanage felt over inflicting various cruelties on him. They had subtly and sometimes not so subtly encouraged the other children to bully him, and it caused Naruto to live in constant fear of everyone there, resulting in nightmares plaguing his sleep.
The anniversary of her sealing had been a few days ago and Naruto had it particularly bad this time. Several of the older children had been scaring him by dangling him over a staircase and then eventually pushing him down. One of the caretakers had seen it, but the man had been drinking and only grinned in approval when he saw it happen.
Naruto had been lucky and hadn't broken anything, but he had been badly bruised and terrified. Not a single night had passed since then without a nightmare and the small boy was clutching at her and hiccuping as he tried to keep from crying.
"Kaa-san, why does everyone hate me?" He asked when he had calmed down a bit.
Xanna frowned as she considered what she should say,being called mother having become normal a long time ago. In the end she decided not to lie to him. "They hate you because of me."
"But why?" He asked and held onto her even more tightly.
"Because they are fools, do not concern yourself with the opinions of those who are worthless."
He nodded in acceptance and buried his head further into her embrace, feeling only happy and safe now that he was with her. He wished that he could stay like this forever.
Xanna sighed to herself again as she held him. Such a loving child should not have needed to tolerate this kind of abuse. He still didn't carry any memory of these visits into the waking world, but that didn't mean he got nothing out of it. Every time he woke, he felt a sense of comfort and support that would keep him going.
She didn't want to end his life anymore, being far more interested in seeing what would become of him now. In addition to that, she wondered when she would be able to speak to him fully, instead of just the subconscious part of him.
"Stay strong little one, I would like to see what you make of yourself."
Nearly a year after that, Naruto's mind matured enough that she could no longer bring him into the seal by herself.
He met Ayame when he was seven years old and that relationship became very important to him. Despite that though, he still ached for something that he couldn't truly remember. All he knew was that there was a woman with red hair that he needed to remember, because she was the one who was the most precious to him. He could only feel safe and happy when she held him. It frustrated and saddened him endlessly that he couldn't remember.
Despite being unable to bring him into the seal anymore, Xanna continued to keep his body strong with her chakra and healing his injuries when he got them.
When he was ten years old, she deliberately allowed him to get hypothermia and used the muddled state of his mind to bring him to the seal again. She was surprised that he remembered her, but did not remember calling her mother. She was even more surprised by his declaration to marry her but didn't contest it.
She may have been the closest thing to a mother he had, but that didn't mean she actually was his mother and she wasn't the type to care about the moral implications anyway. Most humans would have felt sickened by the situation, but she honestly couldn't bring herself to care. It wasn't as if she actually believed that anything would come of it anyway.
The determination that he drew from it would serve him well in any case.
When he released her at the age of fifteen, she had intended to leave him to his own devices, but couldn't help coming back to visit him when she felt how sad he was at her absence.
When all of her attempts to redirect his attention to human women failed, she found herself developing genuine romantic interest in him instead of just the fondness she had before.
Tsunade felt herself going several shades of pale as she listened to the story of Naruto's early years from Xanna's perspective. It didn't take a Yamanaka to figure out that this was bad.
"The thing I mentioned feeling was an intensely powerful sense of desperation for me to be alright after a certain...incident." Xanna said vaguely, alluding to Jashin's attempt at stealing her power.
Tsunade stayed quiet for a while longer, thinking over the things she had just heard. She wasn't going to make an issue of the mother-son relationship switching over to one of lovers. The demoness had already warned her that Tsunade was not to bore her with her silly human morals.
It was a known fact that babies didn't develop properly if they were neglected and this was by far the worst case of it that she had ever heard of. This was further compounded by the fact that Naruto was almost universally hated by everyone around him as he aged, with the abuse heaped at him worsening with every year.
On top of all this, he was enrolled into the shinobi academy, where he would be taught to fight and develop a killer instinct.
She couldn't be sure but she had a terrible suspicion that Naruto would have likely turned into a sociopathic monster that was utterly unable to empathise with the people around him if it hadn't been for Xanna and later Ayame providing a positive influence in his life. Once she thought of it from this perspective, it suddenly seemed obvious that Naruto had several sociopathic tendencies as it was, though they were fortunately(and rather miraculously, given what she had just heard) minor. His ego sometimes got the best of him and he could be a real asshole for the most inane of reasons. Ironically, She was glad that his complete lack of shame was manifested as rampant perversion. It could have easily turned out to be something far darker.
It was equal parts funny and sad that Konoha had the Kyuubi to thank for preventing another Orochimaru or something even worse from developing out of Naruto's life.
That was, if he hadn't completely lost the will to live before that could happen.
Damn you sensei! What the hell were you thinking when you just left him in the orphanage like that?! She thought to herself furiously, wishing her sensei was alive so that she could kill him herself for this monumental screw up.
Gathering her thoughts, she told Xanna all of this.
"And what would you say is his state of mind at the moment, concerning me in particular?" The demoness prodded further.
Tsunade's lips became thin lines as she thought of that particular mess. She couldn't blame the demoness for what she had done, especially since it was clear that Xanna hadn't even done it on purpose, but she didn't like what this conversation had brought to light either.
"Has he ever done anything to go against what you say?" She asked.
Xanna frowned in thought and gaver her answer. "Not that I can recall. He may argue or play around sometimes, but he always does as I say if I insist."
Tsunade closed her eyes and nodded, as that pretty much confirmed her suspicions.
"Naruto has most likely developed an incredibly powerful subconscious obsession with you over the years and will place your happiness, well-being and wishes over all else. He would probably feel compelled to do anything you asked him to do, no matter how terrible it was or how painful it would be to him and he wouldn't even know why. I can't even be sure if his love for you is real or just another part of his obsession."
"It is real, I would be able to tell the difference." Xanna assured.
"In any case, if you were ever to vanish from his life, then I have no idea what would happen to him, but it wouldn't be pretty."
"I see...That is about what I was expecting." The demoness said, her own theories confirmed. "I must have confused him terribly when I told him to sleep with other women, but it turned out well in the end." She muttered to herself.
"What will you do about this now?" Tsunade asked.
She would have liked to say that Naruto should be examined by a skilled Yamanaka therapist, but aside from the obvious problem of him now being a missing-nin, it would have likely been pointless.
All the therapy in the world wouldn't help someone who had never been given the chance to develop properly. In other words...you couldn't fix it if it was made broken.
"I am hoping that he will heal in time and even if he does not, it should be alright as long as I am there for him and I will live forever. Despite the damage that this place has inflicted on him, Naruto has risen above it and I believe he will continue to do so."
"All done?" Naruto asked with a smile as he called her back once he felt her activating the Hiraishin beacon he had given her. He was curious about what she and Tsunade had talked about for so long, but Xanna had asked him not to pry, so he wouldn't.
"Yes, now let us leave this place husband." She said and slipped her hand into his.
Naruto's face stretched into another idiotically wide grin at being called that. "Where are we going?"
"I am taking you to the ancient hunting grounds of the wolf tribe, now long ago defiled and abandoned." By her, but that wasn't important right now.
"Didn't you destroy that?" Naruto asked in bemusement.
"That was nearly a millenium ago. The land should have healed from that little temper tantrum of mine by now."
"If your temper tantrums are that bad, then I'd hate to see you when you're really angry." Naruto teased.
"Indeed you would husband, indeed you would." She agreed seriously.
"That was supposed to be a joke..." He said, sweatdropping.
The demoness merely hummed mysteriously and did not respond.
Yes, Naruto would be just fine. She would make sure of it.
OMAKE: Hokage Naruto.
Naruto drummed his clawed fingers on the table in front of him in absolute boredom as Homura droned on about something or other that he didn't give a crap about. Goddamn council meetings.
Why the hell had he allowed Tsunade to talk him into taking the hat again? For the life of him he couldn't recall the reason, but he suspected vast amounts of alcohol and boobs were involved.
Not that he ever wore the hat though. In fact, he was dressed the exact same way as he always was.
"Alright that's enough, I've got a few announcements to make." Naruto declared, cutting Homura off mid-sentence.
"Hokage-sama?" Several people questioned curiously.
"Firstly, from now on, you will no longer refer to me as 'Hokage-sama'."
"Errrr, what are we supposed to call you then?" Chouza asked uncertainly.
"I shall be henceforth referred to as 'Supreme Master Leader'." He declared grandly.
"May I ask why you wish to be called that Ho-" Inoichi went to ask and cut himself off when a pair of narrowed gold-orange eyes glared at him. "I mean, Supreme Master Leader sir."
"No, you may not."
The entire council sweatdropped massively at this apparent bout of randomness from their leader, but nobody dared gainsay him.
"Except for you Tsume, you can call me 'Daddy'." He said to the Inuzuka clan head with a wink and a grin, causing the woman to gape at his audacity with a slight blush on her face.
"Hokage-sama! The council meeting chamber is no place for this kind of tasteless humor!" Koharu scolded with a scowl.
"Why yes, Koharu, Homura, I will be glad to accept your resignations from the council. Though I am sure that we are all sad to see you go, there is no denying the fact that you are far past the age of retirement." Naruto said in a falsely solemn tone, speaking over Koharu's lecturing.
"But we are not resigning!" Homura protested.
"What's that? You want me to use your pensions for rebuilding the part of Konoha where Danzo met his end in that freak chain of exploding note accidents? We are all humbled by your dedication to Konoha."
The two elders's lips thinned but they didn't dare say another word. No doubt they would be further penalized if they did so. The reminder of Danzo's not-so-subtle 'accident' only served to underline that the blond had no compunction about playing dirty.
Naruto nodded to himself in satisfaction, this was more like it.
"I'm getting kind of hungry...You there!" He pointed at councilor Kimura, causing the woman to start nervously, wondering what this madman was going to do now.
"Go make me a sandwich."
Said woman gaped at him stupidly for several long seconds before replying. "But that's what the servants are for!"
"BITCH, I kill people!" He suddenly roared at her and slammed his palms on the table hard enough to turn it into sawdust, nearly giving everyone present a heart attack. "Now go make me that goddamn sandwich before I eat you!"
The ANBU detail that was acting as security looked at the woman suspiciously, suspecting her to be an enemy spy. She had clearly just used the Body Flicker to get out of the room that fast. Later investigations would reveal that she had instinctively used the little bit of chakra she had in fear driven adrenaline.
"Now for the final order of business before I'm fed up with dealing with you people for today...The Kyuubi festival is approaching soon."
Everyone felt a distinct sense of foreboding at those words.
"Now, I find it funny that despite it being called the Kyuubi festival, it's not actually dedicated to the Kyuubi, so I'm going to clear up that little bit of confusion. Akiyama, Ishida, I'm putting you two in charge of composing an epic song dedicated to the glory of the great demon fox. I think one hour for each tail should be appropriate." Naruto declared, nodding to himself as if he had just come up with something truly inspired.
"But-" Akiyama went to protest, but got cut off when Naruto spoke over him.
"That is, unless of course you feel incapable of carrying out the duties assigned to you as members of the council and would like to resign from your post?"
"No, Supreme Master Leader sir." They chorused miserably. Why did it feel as if their cushy jobs on the council had just become hell?
Fanfiction...the final frontier. These are the tales of the storyship "Reaching for a Dream", attempting to be boldly original in a way that no one has been before.
"Captain's log, storydate 123 days. Our ship stores are running low on Review Crystals, without which the Plot Development Drive will not function at full power."
"But captain Noodlehammer sir, why do we not simply use the Self Motivation Engine?"
"Because chief engineer Ramen, the Self Motivation Engine is glitchy and tends to fail at inopportune moments. You're the engineer, you should know this."
"I must also point out that without Review Crystals, the Grammar Correction Beam and Plot Twist Bomb will also have considerably less power."
"Your concerns are noted tactical officer Beefnoodle. It is exactly for this reason that we are on course to ask the people of Internetia to donate some Review Crystals for our use."
"Captain, I feel the need to remind you that we are a pirate vessel. Could we not simply raid Internetia for Review Crystals?"
"Silence yourself ship's counselor Spicynoodle! What kind of counselor are you anyway? You are supposed to be advocating diplomacy not thievery! You are breaking character."
"I got bored of that."
"Regardless, you should know better. Review Crystals disintegrate if taken by force due to their volatile nature. Indeed, sometimes they burst into flames even if given freely."
"Captain, we are in communications range."
"Excellent! Hail them."
"Connection established captain."
"People of Internetia, we come to trade the latest chapter of our quest log...I mean mission journal for an unspecified amount of Review Crystals, but we would like as many as possible."
"Captain, your negotiation ability is terrible. You should invest more points into your diplomacy stat."
"That's because I am a pirate, not a negotiator! I put all my stat points into swashbuckling and keelhauling, whatever those are."
EDIT: Quite a few people seem to be getting the feeling that this was the end of the story or something. Well it's NOT, there's still quite a few chapters to go.
Maybe I should go back to making cliffhangers? that way nobody can get confused about these things.