This is what started it all, written for a prompt with the same name as this title: 'Sex in the Sim.' Set in SR4, not long after the Boss gets Johnny back.

The buildings around them flickered as the last Zin slumped to its spiky knees then face-planted the floor. Eli was breathing heavily, simulated blood dripping from a cut above his right eyebrow. He swiped an arm across his face and grinned as the cut healed and faded before Johnny's eyes.

The boss had been giving a guided tour of the city he had ruled while Johnny had been 'dead', when a Zin patrol had attacked them from nowhere.

...Okay, maybe not from nowhere. Maybe the ice bolt Eli had flung from the top of a nearby building had something to do with their hostility. Maybe.

Now the boss turned that devil-may-care grin on him and shrugged one shoulder. 'Now where were we? Oh yeah, just down this street is the sex club where Zimos auctioned off my fine arse.'

'What did he get, a buck fifty?' asked Johnny.

Eli clapped a tattooed hand to his chest and staggered back as if shot. 'You wound me, Johnny.' He stepped closer, and his grin became downright wolfish. 'You don't even know what I was wearing.'

Johnny lifted his chin. At 6'3'', the boss was the only person on the ship taller than him. He looked steadily into blue-green eyes. 'Yo, even if you were in a tuxedo, I'd still expect change from a twenty.'

'A tuxedo… last time I wore one of those with you, we crashed the policeman's ball and beat Troy so bad it left him with a twitch.' The boss gave a dirty laugh that raised gooseflesh on Johnny's skin. 'And here I thought it was the sweet taste of bloody revenge that had made you so hard-'

'Noooo! I'm right here!' Matt Miller's disembodied voice made them both start.

Eli tilted his head towards the clouds, as if the cyber-punk was a deity watching his charges from on high. When he spoke again, his voice was soft. 'Huh. You know, it's so easy to forget this isn't real.'

The hurt Johnny heard in his words made his stomach clench. He didn't miss Earth the way Eli did. All the things that mattered in Johnny Gat's world were now on the ship; his weapons, his crew, his boss. He had an enemy to fight and cold beer to drink, and the hottest son of a bitch alive to fuck. He was content, but Eli was bereft at the loss of his playground. Johnny was ever thankful that the simulation existed at all, otherwise the entire crew would have to deal with him prowling around the small ship like a caged tiger while he looked for some form of dark amusement.

Yet Johnny didn't have Eli's way with words, so any consolation he might have offered would have come across as hollow and awkward. Instead, he acted. He levelled his shotgun at Eli's leg and ignored Miller's high-pitched, 'What the hell are you-', before pulling the trigger.

The blast threw the boss on his ass, clutching at the bloody ruin of his shin.

'Jesus. Dammit, Johnny. What was that for?' Eli demanded, looking up at him through the purple hair that fell over his eyes.

Johnny strode forwards and held out his hand to pull Eli back to his feet. 'Hurts like fuck, right? That's real,' he said. He pushed him backwards into a wall, the bricks buckling beneath the blow. 'This? This is real.' His hand moved between Eli's legs and rubbed his cock through the fabric of his jeans. 'I'm real.'

Miller squealed something about eyes, and bleach, but neither were listening.

Eli was watching his face in interest. He bit his lip and rocked his hips, giving a groan that sent a deep heat through Johnny's groin. 'I've been wondering what it'd be like to fuck you in here,' the boss growled.

'Yeah? Well, you don't have to wonder, boss.'

Johnny felt himself stirring as Eli hardened under his hand. Their mouths met in a rough, hard kiss, and Eli grabbed the back of his neck to pull him closer as he shoved his tongue past his teeth. Johnny used both hands to unbutton the boss' jeans, then pushed one hand down into his boxers. As his hand moved, Johnny ran his tongue across Eli's jaw and fixed his mouth on his neck. He sucked as hard as he could, wanting to see if the simulation would let him raise a hicky.

Eli hissed and traced his hands feather-light over Johnny's back before moving them down to squeeze his ass hard. When he pulled away, Johnny was pleased to see an angry red mark on Eli's neck, just below the tattoo of a bass clef behind his ear. But as he watched, it faded.

It wasn't the only thing fading. Eli made a frustrated noise. 'Bollocks. It's like trying to fuck after doing too much coke and knowing you're never going to come. I just don't think it's going to work in here,' he said. When he saw Johnny's frown, he grinned again. 'Allow me to demonstrate.'

Johnny grunted in pain as he was slammed against the wall, the impact knocking bricks and mortar loose. Suddenly his pants were down around his knees and he moaned as the warm, wet velvet of Eli's mouth slid down over his length. He ran his hand through the boss' trademark hair - the exact shade of which had cost three Shear Intensity colourists their eyes back in Stilwater before Eli had been happy with it.

When Eli drew back, he swirled his tongue around the head before plunging back down. Johnny's hand tightened but he realised the boss had been right. As good as it felt, there was none of the usual build-up, that inexorable progression towards release. Like there wasn't enough friction or some shit like that. He sighed irritably.

Eli looked up at him and raised his eyebrows. 'See what I mean?' He stood and allowed Johnny to pull his trousers back up. 'Let's get out of here. I'm pretty sure our sweet little Miller has abandoned his post - an insubordination I'm not going to let go unpunished - but first I want you to suck my cock while I sit on his geek throne of a chair.' He grinned again, savage and sexy, then he turned and sprinted for the nearest exit portal.

Johnny set off after him, dodging the flying vehicles and pedestrians Eli was leaving in his wake. He pulled up short at the glowing white doorway, surprised to see that the boss had not yet stepped through. Too late he understood Eli's intention, as he found himself staring down the red spattered barrel of his DEK-RD railpistol.

'C'mon, man...'

Eli shrugged one shoulder. 'You shot me, love.'

Johnny's vision went dark.


He regenerated outside of the Steelport Municipal Hospital and swore. The nearest exit portal was now over 2600 metres away and the boss' waymarker had disappeared. Johnny could only wince as he imagined the reasons why Eli wanted to exit the simulation ahead of him. None of them were good.

He set off running and vaulted over a discount shoe shop. As he landed, Eli purred in his ear.

'Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. I know what you were trying to do. And I appreciate it, really I do… but you turned your gun on me. That was a mistake.' He chuckled. 'You know, you look so beautiful and helpless in this simulation dock.'

'Yo, you leave my fuckin' body alone, bitch,' Johnny snapped as he flew down a highway.

'Oh, the things I could do to you… why, I do believe your heart rate just spiked. Scared, pet?'

I'm excited. And horny as hell. 'Fuck you.'

There was another delicious chuckle in his ear. Then, 'Shit, did you feel that?'

'Why? The fuck did you do?'

'I was going to give you, say, thirty seconds to reach that door before I cut my name into your face. But my knife slipped,' Eli replied casually. 'Ah, it's nothing.'

'I'm gonna beat the shit outta you,' Johnny shouted. The door was now 1100 metres away.

'Hmm, that's nice, dear.'

'Motherfucker,' Johnny muttered. He was grinning. Eli was the only person to ever challenge him so intensely, to be able to give as good as he got. He loved the deranged son of a bitch to his bones.

800 metres.

'I've changed my mind. I'm going to carve a cock and balls into your face instead if you're not back in… twenty seconds. Tick tock.'

'Hey, I'll be there in ten and I'll break your goddamn jaw.'

'Come and get me, big boy,' Eli said, his voice low and dangerous.

300 metres. Johnny could see the glowing rectangle ahead. He closed the final distance and stepped through, blinking his eyes on the ship a moment later.

'Jesus.' Eli had pressed his nose against his, so Johnny's first vision was filled with his large blue-green eyes.

'Finally,' the boss said as he backed off and pulled Johnny out of his docking station by one arm.

'I'd have been out a lot sooner if you hadn't shot me in the fuckin' head,' Johnny said, stumbling before catching his balance on the corner of a desk. Coming out of the simulation always made him feel clumsy and heavy and slow. A stinging sensation on his cheek made him raise a hand to his face. His fingertips came away red and sticky. 'You're a dead man.'

Eli was still pulling his arm, walking backwards. He held Johnny's eyes as he sat down in Miller's console chair and gave him a wicked smile. 'Be that as it may, how about you raise me up to heaven before you send me to hell?'

'The fuck?'

'Suck my dick, Johnny,' Eli said, not breaking eye contact as he pulled the zip of his flightsuit down past his navel and stretched languidly, like some huge cat.

Johnny crossed his arms and drank in the vision of the boss in the chair below him, his powerful chest covered in a myriad of tattoos that crept down his arms, stomach, over his back, and up to his neck. There was a story behind most of them, and Johnny knew them all.

Out of the sim, Eli's hair had grown to his collar since his last dye job, and two inches of black roots showed through the purple. Johnny grabbed a handful of his hair now and yanked upwards, and the hiss Eli made was enough to make him start to stiffen.

'You cut my face,' he snarled.

The boss rolled his eyes. 'Barely a scratch. Don't be such a baby- ah.' He bit his lip as Johnny's hand tightened and flicked his eyes down to his own crotch. 'It's not going to suck itself.'

'You're unbelievable.' Johnny worked hard to keep the scowl on his face. The boss was the only guy who could still be the one in control in this situation.

'That's why you love me,' Eli whispered, breaking Johnny's wavering grip on his self-control. He leaned down and covered Eli's mouth with his own, relaxing the hand in his hair only slightly. The boss smiled against his lips before he coaxed Johnny's mouth open to touch his tongue to his.

Johnny lowered himself to his knees between the boss' outstretched legs and used his hands to push the unzippered flightsuit down over his shoulders to place kisses along his toned arms and chest, on the ink and scars that told his life story.

Eli shifted and moaned Johnny's name when his second-in-command bent to his lap and closed his mouth over the tip of his cock. He felt the boss shudder as he slowly moved his head down and up and down again and, as always, it gave Johnny a fierce sense of pride to know that the gasps and grunts Eli made were solely from his actions.

'Oh, god, Johnny...' Eli's hand teased through his hair, the one that had 'LUCK' spelled out in a gothic script one letter to a finger.

Johnny was so hard it almost hurt, his cock straining against the silky fabric of his own flightsuit. He increased his speed and sucked harder, making Eli rock his hips in time to his rhythm, then slid a hand down between his legs to stroke himself gently.

Eli spotted what he was doing and twisted his ear harshly. 'Ah, ah,' he scolded through heavy breaths. 'That's mine, love. After you've finished.'

'Motherfucker,' Johnny grumbled, but put both hands back on Eli's body. He took the boss in his mouth and worked with a renewed fervour, on the premise that the sooner Eli came, the sooner he could cum. Unless the bastard left him hanging again, but the last time that happened he'd so convincingly threatened to rape Miller that the little nerd had locked himself in the airlock and almost jettisoned his lanky ass into space by accident.

The boss was panting now, and his back arched as his fingers dug into Johnny's shoulders. Sweat shone on his tightly muscled body in the cold artificial light and Johnny fought the nearly overwhelming urge to touch his aching cock again. Fuck, the man was beautiful. Eli let out a howl as he came, his cock pulsing against Johnny's tongue.

When he relaxed, Johnny turned his head to the side and spat his jizz on the floor.

Eli was watching him with a lazy half smile on his flushed face. Johnny sat back and gestured to the bulge of his own erection.

'You gonna deal with this now or what?' he asked. The half smile grew to a grin and Johnny found himself thrown backwards onto the floor as Eli leapt from the chair and crashed into his chest.

'You're so demanding, love,' Eli murmured in his ear. He tore down Johnny's zip, licked his palm and snaked his hand down between his thighs.