HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY GORGEOUS VENUS FLY TRAP (ALSO KNOWN AS CHLOE). Please please please don't hound me about this, I don't write in this fandom and I don't care if I did or didn't get things right, thank you for trying tho'!





See, Darcy believed that if more people were like her the world would most definitely be a better place. Except, you know, she didn't exactly know if that would help anything at all since she wasn't even exactly on Earth anymore, she didn't think. But whatever, it was still the truest fact ever; the world would be tolerable if there were more people like Darcy fucking Lewis.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand, she wasn't on Earth anymore and this could technically be filed under This Is Bad but Darcy was too busy wondering how exactly she was even alive? Wasn't she, like, supposed to blow up at the change of atmosphere or something scientific like that?

Darcy was calling bullshit.

"Hey, so… Where exactly are we?"

Her companion ignored her and Darcy was debating if she was offended or if she even gave an ounce of a fuck. But it'd be, you know, cool if she at least knew where exactly she was going to die. If she was going to die at all, anyway; insane, her companion might look, but most insane people were complete wuss nowadays and fearing for her life would probably be pointless.

"That's cool," she shrugged, "I'd probably have a hard time pronouncing the name, anyway. And who the hell needs pronunciation classes when I can just stare at how nice the view is or something."

Her companion didn't even turn her way. Talk about rude.

Darcy mentally sighed and decided Jane owed her, at the very least, her first born and maybe a box of chocolate too. Or, you know, pay her because seriously this internship was more trouble than it was worth and Darcy was kidnapped, okay? She was a kidnapee dealing with a neglectful kidnapper and it was all Jane's fault.

"Hey, so," she shifted around on the ship-like thing. Whatever it was, she didn't think about it for too long. "Are you really, you know, his brother? Thor's brother? Because, wow, he's totally bangin'."

He stiffened and Darcy blinked.

"And you're kinda… Not… You have nice hair, tho'!"

He slowly turned to face her, his blue eyes practically crazed.

Darcy wasn't really impressed, of course.

"Will you kindly shut up?"

She pursed her lips, flipping some of her hair over her shoulder and fixing the beanie over her head. "Ohhh, I see now. You have brother issues!"

He sighed.

"No, no, it's okay. Most teenagers do, back at home. I'm not sure if full on out adults do, though, but there's probably a good article about it topped with a chart and everything." She nodded her head and smiled when he turned to glare at her over his shoulder. "I mean, I don't blame you either. Because wow. I'd have bro issues, too, if he was my brother. Or, you know, not mind incest—what who said that?"

"You're annoying," he said as he turned to face her, fully.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Darcy said, nodding and not at all taking any offense. "So you want to tell me where we are, now? Because, you know, that'd be cool."

"Asgard," he said, crisply.

"Oh. Cool." Darcy looked around and sighed, drumming her fingers on her thighs and vaguely deciding she needed to pee. "Is this your place because it sounds familiar. Are you—wait, are you going to bring me home? Like, how Thor brought in Jane? So, like, this is you trying to one-up your brother? Like 'oh hey dad, look, I brought in my own human. Did I do a good job?' or something?"

He—what was his name again, she should really know it by now since he's made so many attempts to fuck everything up and whatnot—walked towards her and Darcy blinked her eyes at him without a single fear in her body. What was fear, anyway, she'd already faced death at least twice thanks to Jane.

"If you don't shut up," he said, "I will have to kill you."

"But then how are you going to show me to your pops?" She tilted her head and outstretched both her arms. "You'll have to be like 'dad I tried to bring in my own human but I messed up, please accept her corpse, am I worthy now?'"

"I'm not showing you to anyone, girl. You're here by pure chance and while you're still here I'll just use it to my advantage."

Darcy rolled this around her mind before she waggled her eyebrows at him.