Diary of a Lovable Mad Woman

Harleen Quinzel

Nov. 10th, 20XX

Mr. J has been texting me for a few days now. He says he misses me, and wants me back at his side. I can't help but find myself wishing it were true. Red want's nothing to do with him, and I can see her side of the story. He has abused me, both mentally and physically, and I know he'll do it again if I give in. She doesn't know I've been talking to him, I'm afraid to tell her. She'll be mad at me.

I think I still have feelings for him though. Considering I have replied to him each time. I tell him to stop, and leave me alone, but he persists asking me to come back. He wants the old days back, the fun, the crimes, playing with Bats. He is promising me things will be different...I...I want to believe him.

Nov. 11th, 20XX

Mr. J texted me again today. I've always liked that about him. He's tenacious, determined, and has a wondrous sense of humor. I look back on our adventures together and can't help but smile. Then I remember Red's words and warnings. I know she doesn't like Mr. J, but I'm wondering if it's just because she hasn't got to know him.

Nov. 12th, 20XX

The winter cold has finally set in, and Red looked so much like a zombie today. She was so funny the way she dragged her feet today. She even moaned like one of them. Hee hee hee hee. She's so adorable, I just want to squeeze her like a teddy bear. 3 3 3

~ Haven't heard from Mr. J today. Maybe he finally got the hint.

Nov. 14th, 20XX

While I was doing errands today my mind drifted to Mr. J. I walked by an old poster advertising the circus coming to town, that was what made me think of him. I wonder if he got the message. I haven't heard from him in two days. I guess that's okay, I shouldn't care about him. I can't want to go back to him can I?

Red locked herself in her garden again today. She barely comes out of there, and I rarely see her when she does. I'm feeling pretty lonely. Even meal times she is distant and removed. I miss my old vibrant Red. I'll try and get her to do something with me tomorrow.

Nov. 15th, 20XX

I'm really starting to worry about Pudding. He texted me everyday for a week, and now nothing. Did Bats catch him again? Is he back in Arkham? I hope he's okay.

Red hasn't come out of the lab since yesterday. I rented a movie for us to watch, but she wont come out to watch it. This home is feeling way to big now.

Pudding please contact me, I'm lonely and want to know you're okay.

Nov. 16th, 20XX

Still nothing on my damn phone! Pudding is in trouble, I just know it. I should let Red know, and we can do something, maybe check on Arkham. I know she has tunnels that run under the institution. She just needs to show me the way. If only she would come out of that room.

Please be okay Pudding, I miss you.

Nov. 17th, 20XX

I'm officially worried now. Nothing, there is nothing from him. No news reports on the television, no information on the net. Where is he, did Bats finally lose it? Is he dead? No, no, Pudding!

~ I finally talked to Red today. I asked her to help me look for Pudding. She yelled at me, and scared me. She says he is evil, abusive, and better off dead. I cried, and she returned to the damn garden.

She doesn't know Pudding like I do. He's not evil, just misunderstood. No one but me gets him. I know him. I want to be with him, protect him, love him.

Nov. 18th, 20XX

I was out all day today looking for my Pudding. I check some of our old hideouts. He wasn't at any of them. I'm so worried about him, I am a nervous wreck. I need to know he's safe and sound. My feet are sore, and I cried again today.

Once again Red, hasn't been out today.

~ PUDDING TEXTED ME! He's okay! He says he's been laying low, and has been worried about me. He wants to meet up and make sure I'm okay. He says he'll send me a meeting place tomorrow, after he makes sure it's a safe place for me. I can't wait. I'll get to hold my Pudding, and squeeze him, and everything will be back to normal. We'll laugh and play and be a happy family again. I missed him so much. I can't wait to show him how much I still love him.

Nov. 19th, 20XX

I have the address and am about to head out. I am going to leave a note with Red so she knows where I'm at, at Pudding's request. He says its so she wont worry about me. I'm so excited.

~ I'm such a fool. A stupid, stupid, moronic, worthless fool. I should have known the Joker wouldn't have changed. He used me, my feelings for him, and took me hostage when I arrived. He knocked me out, and when I woke up I heard yelling. Red came for me as soon as she found my note, and was trapped in a metal cage. Red was already weak, the cold weather making her sluggish. She warned me, tried to keep me safe, why didn't I listen to her. Mister J. brought me out tied up, and taunted Red. He lit the cage on fire, and lifted it off the ground. He told me without her we could be together again. I was so scared for her life.

Then a savior arrived, a hero I had never seen. He literally whisked me away into the air and his strong toned arms. He was no Batman, he joked with Mister J., taunted him, easily catching the razor cards, and even dodging a bullet. So amazing. He looked so very cool. I had to get a better look. He stopped the fire on the cage with an extinguisher, that he roped in from another wall. Says his name is Spider-Man, so it was probably webbing. He saved both Red and I, he must have been new.

Mister J. launched a rocket at us, and Spider-Man saved us. He was so manly, and funny, I couldn't help but be enthralled. He is strong too, he bent those thick metal bars like they were nothing. He said he needed to get Red to a hospital, and I panicked. I convinced him to return to our home. He saved us, but I couldn't let him go out and spill the beans where we are hiding. He stopped my mallet, like he knew it was coming, but Red put him under with her kiss.

I cannot believe how Spider-Man looks so normal and sexy at the same time. I was actually a bit worried what was under the mask, but he was normal, must be a metahuman like Red. Red stripped him, fearing that he was like Bats and had hidden gadgets. He was naked underneath, and oh that body. I couldn't help but stare. Then a surprise, his costume changed colors as soon as it was off him. The material is so soft and fluid, almost like silk. I want some.

He woke up, and tried to escape. We were both caught off guard at his speed and strength. He almost got away, but Red's plants stopped him. She hypnotized him, and we found out his name is Peter Parker. It's cute, just like him. Then Red almost kills him with her death kiss. I couldn't help but feel guilty. He saved us, was captured by us, and then about to die because he didn't know us. I came up with an idea, and convinced Red to use him instead. Having him and his powers on our side, would make us safer, and save his life. She saved him, I was so relieved.

Now he's tied up very tightly in the storage room. We are waiting for him to wake up, and tell him his new roll. Red noticed that he broke from her kiss very quickly, and guessed he had some sort of toxin resistance, she's up in the garden making something for him. I'm so intrigued by him. He seemed so full of life, so very unlike any of the capes around here. He could be fun to have around. I'm anxiously awaiting him waking u...oh speak of the devil.

A/N: Well here it is, the first chapter of Dairy of a Lovable Mad Woman. Okay I should explain more about what will be going on in these chapters. I'm going to try and make it sound just like a diary. The way I see it Harleen has kept her analytical mind when she writes. However there are points where we see her bubbly personality come through. The entries are probably mostly gonna be short, but now that Peter is around they will be longer. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed some background for the background. R&R people, thanks for reading. Wiggles out.