Here you have the chapter 'beta-edited' by Ladybellatrix (I first posted it without being edited) Thank you again!
Hi you all! I'm back again! Thanks for your patience… I hope it will be worth it.
Thanks again for all the follows, favs and reviews; you make my day with your feedback. It's very important to me!
I told some of you via PM that this chapter would be their first weekend together… well, it has turned out being only their first night; basically that long pending and so needed talk between them. In fact, it has been really exhausting writing it: it has ups and downs, and maybe some contradiction… but I have tried to make it real. How it would be this type of conversation between two people who don't know each other, but want to be totally sincere about such important issues? Well, this is my approach. I really would appreciate your opinion.
I hope you like it!
When they came down to earth from their own heaven, they rolled on the bed, Ana lying half on top of him. Her head rested on his chest, one of her hands on his sweaty abdomen. She took a deep breath, inhaling his magic scent. He absent-mindedly brushed her hair off her sticky face. He took her hand and planted a kiss in the middle of her palm. Christian felt secure and complete with her. She was the missing piece; not his fucking ridiculous attempts to be in control. She and only she could heal him.
"Thank you." He said with a look full of awe and gratitude. She was about to say something when he placed her hand flat on his chest, pressing it with his own one.
Ana felt his muscles tense and then relax in a nanosecond. She didn't know what had happened to him, but she understood it was something related with those scars on his chest, and that it seemed that he had some kind of fear of being touched there. But, not by her. Ana's eyes filled with happy tears watching his beaming smile, the most beautiful she had ever seen, and those grey eyes full of joy and calmness.
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Christian took out his hand, but Ana's remained flat on his chest. She could feel the goose bumps in his warm sticky skin and his heartbeat going faster and faster.
"Christian, I…" She began talking, but Christian silenced her by putting a finger on her lips.
"Shhh. Don't" he whispered and smiled. "It's incredible how you have got to know me; you knew that touching my chest was a hard limit for me, even without telling you," Christian murmured softly, amazed by her.
Ana shrugged. "I felt your pain the very first moment I saw you. The anger and the sadness were palpable in your music and in your eyes. I don't know what happened to you, but when you showed me your scars… I supposed they were related to that pain," Ana looked him in the eye, measuring his reaction. "During all these years, I always wondered if you were still in pain."
"Now I'm not. Not with you. You can heal me" He replied shaking his head no. Then, he bent to kiss her on the lips, putting his hand back over Ana's, preventing her from moving it from his chest. "You are the first person I have allowed to touch me like that. It has always been something painful and scary, but your touch is soothing and loving. I always thought it would be this way."
Ana's eyes went wide. Her hand was glued to his chest. Suddenly, she felt overwhelmed and terrified of hurting him in any way… but she tried to stay calm.
"So, no one can touch you… since when?" she said with a trembling voice.
Christian sighed nonchalantly and took her other hand, also resting it on his chest after kissing her palm, as if it were something he usually did. Ana was now almost straddling Christian, waiting for his answer with a lump in her throat.
"Since I was a child. I have avoided the contact with people all my life. Well, my little sister Mia can hug me, but she is the only one. My shrink says it is because I have never seen her as a threat".
Ana tried to assimilate all that overwhelming information, mostly the fact of him being almost isolated all his entire life.
"So, only your sister can hug you? Not your parents, not Elliot…?" Ana's voice reflected her pain and uncertainty.
"Well, I was able to hug Elliot and my mother when I realized you were Midnight Sun and that you had not given up on me" Christian smiled like a child proud of his achievement.
Ana smiled sympathetically at him, melting for him.
"I've told you; you're healing me" Christian repeated.
Ana bent down and leaned her forehead to his, closing her eyes, her hands still on his chest. They brushed their lips slightly and began kissing, slowly, softly, feeling each other's breath. Christian put his hands in the small of her back and moved them up her bare skin, slowly, his touch sending shivers through her spine. Ana moved her hands gently, feeling his defined pectorals and his soft skin under her fingers. Watching his reaction, she softly caressed Christian's chest, from his shoulders to his stomach, soft moans escaping from his mouth, his eyes closed. Then, she began trailing soft kisses on his neck, from his ear to his shoulder. His scent invading her nostrils; her soft lips making him feel alive. She asked him permission with a simply look, blue to grey, no words needed, and he consented with a quick nod, holding his breath. He needed this.
She lingered her head and brushed her lips on his chest, just below his collar bone. He kept his eyes shut and all his body tensed suddenly, startling Ana, who backed off quickly.
"Don't stop please," Christian's voice was almost a whisper.
"I don't want to hurt you, Christian," Ana whimpered.
"I need this. I need you. I know you won't hurt me" Christian pleaded.
Ana took Christian's hands with hers and kissed them both. Then, placing their entwined hands on both sides, she leant again and kissed each one of his scars with reverence, pouring all her feelings in it, feelings she even didn't understand, really trying to heal him, to fix whatever it happened; not the physical scars, but his damaged soul.
"Ana, I want you. I want you more than anyone or anything in my life." He really meant it. He relished in her touch, in her silky lips, in her loving hands. She was good, she was safe. He needed her as he needed the air to breathe. He placed his hands on both sides of her face and crushed his mouth to hers, devouring her, as he touched every inch of her body that he was capable of. Ana enveloped him in a tight embrace and closed the few inches between them, straddling him and feeling his growing erection underneath her. He growled when a moan escaped from her mouth. His hand reached her behind and went further down to feel the wetness between her folds.
"Oh my God Ana. You drive me crazy…" Christian moaned. He wanted her again, but he didn't know if it would be too early or too much for her. "Are you… sore?" he asked her huskily, trying to put her feelings first.
She shook her head no slowly, biting her lip. "I want you" she whispered back. He hungrily nibbled at her bottom lip while grabbing a condom and placing it on in a nanosecond. He snaked his right arm around her waist and raised her to bury himself in her, slowly. Their bodies were stuck, their breaths warmed each other's mouth and their gazes were glued to each other's. Ana winced, stifling a moan by biting her lip with her eyes closed.
"Does it hurt, baby?" Christian asked concerned, supporting her weight with the arm on her waist.
She was holding her breath, speechless. She inhaled sharply and opened her eyes with a lustful look. "No, Christian" she whispered close to his mouth. "But it's deeper this way… and it feels…" She couldn't finish the sentence, overwhelmed by the sensation, and moaned. Her husky voice caressed Christian's ears.
"Oh, Ana" He buried his head in her neck and held her tight, filling her completely.
They kept like this for several minutes, in a tight embrace, skin against skin, relishing in their intimate connection, until Ana began moving slightly; back and forth, up and down. She never had been so aware of her body; she could feel that delicious plenitude that made her pelvic muscles clench sending shivers all over her limbs. She also felt the warmth of his sticky skin brushing against hers, his hard muscles enclosing her in a protective shield, his intoxicating scent, the savour of his sweet yet wild lips. Christian felt as if him were in heaven. She was the one capable of fulfilling his empty core. He felt alive with her. He felt complete, and he had never felt that physical connection with anyone. It was not the planned, cold and controlled sex he'd had with his subs; it was raw and unadulterated desire; it was a need: he needed her, and he was sure he couldn't get enough of her.
Their bodies moved in unison. Her riding sent delicious shivers of pleasure from his groin to all over his body. The feeling of her hard nipples scratching the skin of his chest turned him on even more. He was about to explode, and he gripped her hips firmly to hold her back.
"Hold on, Ana," he said breathlessly.
Ana was about to climax too, and the feeling of his firm grip, his strong hands with his fingers digging into her skin almost painfully, his husky voice full of need and pure desire, turned her wilder. She grabbed his face between her hands and kissed him passionately, intruding her tongue in his mouth and exploring it avidly. He held her tighter and buried himself deeper, almost desperately, making Ana moan loudly while a mind blowing orgasm made all her body shake deliciously without control turning her head back. Christian continued his trusts, enlarging Ana's climax, and the vision of her, completely undone, and the feeling of her pelvic muscles tightening around him, were enough to send him beyond the edge, and an overwhelming sensation trapped him, tensing all the muscles of his hard body, while he tightened his grip and bit Ana's right shoulder wildly.
The two of them remained exhausted, their arms wrapped, their foreheads touching, and Christian still inside her.
"You. Are. Amazing." Christian said breathlessly, looking her in the eye.
"No, you are," Ana said with a sweet smile playing on her lips.
Christian also smiled. They were lost in each other's gaze when they realized that, somehow, the song after the one that Christian had put on repeat was playing now. Dave Gahan echoing Christian's thoughts:
Words like violence
break the silence.
Come crashing in
into my little world.
Painful to me,
pierce right through me.
Can't you understand,
oh, my little girl?
They looked at each other's eyes. Ana made a half smile.
"I think we really need to talk." She said cupping his face.
"Yes, I suppose so," Christian answered, his brow furrowing, not really wanting to talk. He didn't want to spoil that moment, the happiest in his fucking entire life; being with her was simply pure bliss. He tightened his embrace resting his head on her shoulder.
All I ever wanted,
all I ever needed
is here in my arms.
Words are very unnecessary;
they can only do harm.
"I'm sorry for that," Christian said looking at the red mark on Ana's shoulder while he kissed it softly. Ana lifted herself up to separate and winced a little, feeling some kind of emptiness she had not felt before, to sit on his thighs.
"For that sexy as hell wild love-bite?" Ana said batting her eyelashes. "You don't have to apologise."
"I'm a lucky bastard" Christian said with a beaming smile. "So… have you liked it?" He said caressing both her shoulders.
"Do you mean round one or round two?" She teased him.
"Both of them?" He asked with a hopeful smile.
"Well, let me think…" She continued teasing him with a theatrical gesture of hesitation, rubbing her chin with her thumb and index finger. Christian rolled his eyes and she laughed. "You are sweet, and passionate, and loving… I feel cherished and wanted. It has been amazing, perfect; way better than in my wildest dreams. So, yes, I've really enjoyed it. Thank you." With this, she kissed him softly on the lips, smiling.
"No, thanks to you, Ana" he said with his eyes closed, relishing in her words. "It has been pretty amazing for me, and it was kind of a first time for me too" Ana frowned and he continued talking. "All the relationships I've had in the past have been… well, not like the average" He chuckled at his own understatement. "Just imagine; I could not bear anyone touching me. I didn't want any kind of sentimental interaction; I just wanted to be by myself, in control of everything around me. It was soulless, planned sex. It has been the first time for me not just… fucking." Christian stared at Ana, waiting for her reaction, and pleading for her to believe him.
Ana widened her eyes, speechless. What would have happened to him to make him isolate himself in such a way? And why had he chosen her to breach his shield?
"I… I'm honoured you have let me get closer to you. I don't understand why, why me, but thank you" Ana said fidgeting with her fingers.
Christian didn't expect her reaction. He took her hands and kissed them both with veneration. "Ana, I don't know why, but I felt somehow connected to you from the very first moment I laid my eyes on you. When you stared at me with those beautiful eyes of yours, it seemed you could read my soul. I had never felt anything like that. I tried to fight it, but I couldn't. I felt safe and calm only thinking about you," he sighed. "So now that I have found you again… it would be very hard for me to let you go…" Christian gulped heavily. Those words had gone out of his mouth without any filter. Moreover, where did all those thoughts come from? His mind was spinning wildly, thinking about thousands of possibilities; thinking about a future with her. He better not fuck the things up.
"Well, I would want to stay, if you let me in" she said caressing his face. "I want to know you better" Ana noticed the pain in his eyes and the reticence to talk about himself, and added "I will go first. I'll tell you my story".
She sat cross-legged in front of him, searching for a more comfortable position, while smiling warmly. Christian's face drew an amused smile and his eyes went south between her legs, going wide, while he bit his bottom lip. Ana realized how exposed she was in that position and flushed beet red as she joined her knees. Christian laughed with a velvety masculine laugh.
"Am I that funny?" Ana said embarrassed.
"No, you're not. You are simply beautiful and delicious," he said crossing his arms on his chest, leaning on the headboard, with a dazzling smile.
"Well, as I said before, I'll start first," Ana said again, still flushing and wanting to start their needed talking. "Where do I start…? Well, my name is Anastasia Rose Steel."
"Beautiful name for a beautiful woman," Christian said taking one of her hands to kiss it.
"Thank you," she said feeling shivers down her spine. "Well, I'm twenty-one and I was born in Montesano." She sighed heavily and continued. "My mother's name is Carla. I didn't know my father. His name was Franklin and he died from an accident during Marine combat training the day after my birth."
"I'm sorry, Ana" Christian said concerned.
"Don't be, Christian. I mean, I know him by the photos and the stories my mother told me, but I consider Ray as my real father. He was settle in the same base that my biological father. He married my mother when I was about one year old, and I grew up with him. He gave me my surname and taught me how to be a good person. He is the best father I could wish for."
"I'm glad to hear it. By the way, how is he doing?"
"He's doing great! He is a very strong man and he has had the best possible treatment and he is healing quickly… thanks to you. You really are a very generous man and, by the way, we still have to talk about how I can pay you back."
"Oh, no!" Christian raised both his hands in defence. "You don't have to. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. I mean… that amount of money is meaningless for me. Moreover, now that it has turned out he's your father, there's no point on paying back," he stated.
"But…" Ana protested.
"No arguing with me," Christian said coldly. Then, he softened his voice and added "please?"
"Whatever," Ana said sighing heavily thinking he was a little bit bossy. "You know I'm very stubborn, don't you?"
"Me too. Probably more than you," Christian said with a smirk.
"This conversation is not over," Ana said pointing at him. He answered with a beaming smile, making her smile too. "Well, where was I? Oh, yes. I had an average childhood until my mum and Ray divorced. I was thirteen. It was hard at the beginning, but I continued seeing Ray almost every day, so I still had my dad with me."
"You are very fond of him, aren't you?"
"He's an exceptional man, Christian. He's unselfish, kind, and he has always looked for me as his own daughter. He also transmitted to me the love for music, and I am who I am thanks to him," Ana said passionately.
"In that case, I would have to thank him too," Christian answered sincerely.
Ana smiled shyly at him, and then a lost look filled her eyes momentarily. She gulped and resumed her talk.
"Well… my mum met another man, Stephen, or as I usually call him, "husband number 3." Christian, who was listening to her intently, frowned slightly and Ana chuckled. "Yes, I don't like even the sound of his name, because he was an arse." Christian's jaw tightened. He probably was the reason why Ana spent all those afternoons in Mr. Harris' shop. "Whatever… She met him, they fell in love" Ana air quoted her last words "and we moved to Seattle. The worst part was having Ray far away," she sighed. "At the beginning he was not that bad; he was very odd, but he was gentle with my mother and quite gentle with me… but in a few months he became another person. He began behaving strangely. He yelled to my mother and got really pissed off with me for whatever reason. My mum said it was all due to his job, that he was really stressed, and she always justified his behaviour. But he didn't fool me at all. He began watching me while I was doing my homework in my bedroom because he said he didn't trust me to behave". Ana closed her eyes and shuddered at the thought. "I remember his stare glued to my back and his harsh breathing while he sat on my bed." Christian shuddered too. This was what he feared when Mr. Harris told him. Ana continued talking. "I didn't understand his reasons at the beginning; my grades were excellent and I was a very responsible girl… At the end of the school year, one boy in my lab class asked me to go out…" Ana shook her head in disbelief "The day after, he put a lock on my window because he didn't trust that I wouldn't try to sneak him in into my bedroom… That was totally absurd! I yelled at him and he pushed me against the wall, grabbing me by my throat. My mother came just when he was about to slap me in the face. She justified him again…She was delusional." Ana had a sad smile on her face. Christian's fists were clenched, resting on his lap; his eyes a furious dark grey. "The day he entered the bathroom while I was having a shower was the day I decided I was never going to be alone with him anymore, and that I had to get out of that house, even if it meant leaving my mother by her own with him."
Ana shuddered remembering Stephen's hungry expression and her mother's excuses when she told her. Christian inhaled sharply, trying to calm the urge of punching the wall. If he only knew, he had ripped-off the head of that sick bastard with his own bare hands. Ana looked at him and he relaxed a little. She had that effect on him.
"It took my mum several months to let me move with Ray. I'm glad she realized at the end how sick that man was and divorced him. I stayed at Mr. Harris' shop every afternoon until my mum got home, avoiding being alone with him. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made; I began my first piano lessons, and… I met you there." Ana smiled a shy smile, which comforted Christian. Seeing her face lightened with her beautiful smile warmed his now-not-so-frozen heart.
"I like your smile Ana… you could light up the darkest night with it." He would have liked to say that he would protect her from all the bad and ugly things in the world, but he didn't, because he himself was the worst person he knew, and he was sure he could not protect her from himself, because he was too attached to her to let her go.
They remained in silence for a moment and then, Ana continued.
"Well, as you know, I moved to Montesano with Ray. It was my most desired wish… until I met you. I couldn't get you out of my mind." Ana lowered her gaze to her legs, avoiding eye contact with Christian "but I had to go. I began a new life. In fact, I did not contact my mother until she divorced Stephen. Ray taught me self-defence. He paid for my piano lessons. I went to High School and got a scholarship for college. I dated some boys… but they were not you". Ana looked him in the eye. Christian was holding his breath; not wanting to hear about her with any other fucker, but dying to know all about her at the same time. "It was all very confusing… I felt attached to you in some deep level. When I was with somebody, all I could think was about you. I wished it were you… but you weren't there, and I felt as if I were cheating on you, on me, or on the other person in front of me… It never went beyond the second or the third date; how could it be other way?" She sighed heavily. "So, I concentrated on my studies, and on my music. There I met Kate and José, two real best friends…" Ana's eyes flashed at the sudden thought of José's incident that night outside the club, and shook her head to sweep it away. "I worked part time in a café until I got the main pianist position in the WSU music band; it was hard to balance my English classes, my work and the rehearsals, so I diminished my expenses to the minimum and quit my job, outlining it as a kind of investment for my future as a musician."
"Good decision." Christian assessed business-mode.
"Thank you. And, again, it was thanks to you; without your support there would be no music band at all." Christian rolled his eyes. It was nothing more than a pleasure for him. "Umm, Mr. Grey… you are a very generous man; you will have to accept my thank you's one of these days… What's more, I got my current job at one of the concerts." Ana teased him.
"You are very welcome, Ms. Steele" He teased her back. "You already have a job, here, in Seattle?"
"Yes, I will begin on Monday… I'm very excited. I'm sure you know Everybody's Possession…"
"The magazine? How could I not. It's a very interesting publication. I used to consult it looking for piano scores when I was younger." Christian said with some kind of nostalgia. "Are you working in there?"
"Yes! I will work as an editor, but they told me I will be doing some interviews too. And I think I will have some gigs with those guys of the Fairmont Olympic too. I got the job in yesterday's gala through Jack Hyde, my boss."
"I'm glad you got it too…" They looked at each other, no words needed, remembering the first time their eyes met in that crowded room. "And… when did you begin working on WSU radio?" Christian asked, curious.
"I began my last year in college, the same day I got the position in the music band. Kate, José and I were celebrating, and José received a call from the radio manager telling him that the current speaker was ill and he couldn't do it. He asked for my help… he knew my love for music, and my inability to say no…" She chuckled and then shrugged. "They hired me in the end. José kept helping me as a technician. It was funny and educational… until Christmas Day, when I received the most shocking e-mail ever," Ana smiled shyly again "and well, you know the rest of the story."
"Yes, I do. What a story." Christian leaned his back on the headboard, contemplating Ana as if she was the most precious gift in the world.
"Your words were somehow familiar to me… There was something… very alluring in them. I thought about that grey-eyed boy I met in the piano shop, but I swept away the idea almost immediately; I didn't know why, but it was hard to separate the two of you… it couldn't be possible…"
"And now see us here" Christian finished the sentence. "I felt the same way the very first time I listened to you". Christian ran a hand through his hair, his eyes looking at some undefined point at the opposite wall. "It had been a shitty day. I was in a deathly boring pre-Christmas party, plenty of fakes and butt kissers. I was feeling I was about to implode and I escaped to Grey House, the building where Grey Enterprises Holdings headquarters are located". Ana listened intently, noticing the fact that he owned an entire building. "It was late, but I saw someone was still working. It was Barney, head of the IT department, a great guy" Christian smiled. "He was listening to some classical music, and we began chatting. Then… you began talking. Listening to your voice was like an electrical shock. You sounded so familiar… Then, you began singing… I…I had never felt that way. It was as if you were talking to me, saying the precise and correct words. In fact, it was as if that girl in the piano shop were talking to me… It scared me and, at the same time, it calmed me".
"I really was talking and singing for you. I thought I was a fool for doing it, but I couldn't help it. It was beyond my will" Ana whispered.
"Thank God you did it. Now I have found you again" Christian said earnestly.
"And I have found you" Ana answered. Several seconds later, she resumed her talking hesitantly. "I want you to know that… the weeks passed, and Fifty replaced that grey eyed boy in my mind and in my heart. I mean… they both were very similar to me, as the two sides of the same coin. I didn't know why, but it was that way. Well, now I know" she chuckled. "Sorry, I'm rambling. What I mean is that I was truly, willingly and completely prepared to give it a try with that troubled man… and when it turned out he was the same person that the man who had chased my dreams all my life…" Ana didn't know how to express all the feelings and the ideas that were spinning in her head.
"I know what you mean… Ana, sure as hell that I know" Christian whispered. He felt a weight on his chest. He had to tell her how fucked up he was. He trusted her, but it was still difficult to verbalize all his shit in front of her. And he could not blame her if she rejected him after doing it. "Ana, you deserve to know all my shit".
She could feel all his self-abhorrence poisoning his words.
"Christian, you don't have to… I'll wait until you are ready".
"No, it's not fair for you". He closed his eyes and put his head between his knees. A sudden fear washed over him, covering his entire body in a cold sweat. Suddenly all his self-confidence vanished in a sombre mist; she would run to the hills when he told her his dark secrets. But he had to do it.
"Christian" Ana said sweetly. He didn't respond. Ana hovered over him and noticed more burnt scars on his upper back. She felt an uneasy feeling and a knot in her throat. "Christian, please, look at me". He raised his head and faced her. There was a painful look in his stormy grey eyes. Ana felt her heart cringe. "I'm not leaving. Whatever it is, I will stay. Please, trust me".
Christian kept staring at her, dumbfounded. "You already have told me this before, haven't you?" Christian had a lost look in his eyes, showing the interior battle inside his head. Ana was holding her breath. Finally, he sighed heavily, rubbed his face with both his hands and run them through his tousled hair, pulling at it at the end. Ana, who was kneeling on the bed, sat again when he began talking.
"I am not a good person, Ana. There's something evil inside me. I don't deserve happiness and I don't deserve love. That's why I'm so scared, because you make me think of… more. And it is something I never expected that it would happen to me" Christian looked at Ana as if his words were the only and biggest truth.
"But, Christian… you have your parents, your brother, your sister… They love you. I'm sure you know that, don't you?" Ana said as if talking to a child.
"I don't deserve their love, Ana. They don't know me. If they knew all my shit, they would give up on me".
"I'm sure they wouldn't".
"Ok, you tell me" Christian drew a sad smile on his face, resigned to the fact of maybe losing her; losing her even before having her. He took a deep breath and continued. "I had a rough start in life. My biological mother was a crack addict. She was neglectful, always high as a kite, completely oblivious of her own child. His pimp, on the contrary, was very attentive to me; he kept beating me to a pulp and using me as his own personal ashtray" Christian pointed at his chest, his mouth in a thin line, his jaw clenched furiously and his eyes clouded with rage. Ana's face paled as all the blood drained from it.
"I was four when she drugged herself to death. It took the police four days to find us" Ana gasped and caressed Christian's hand. He closed his eyes, his face showing an excruciating pain. "I felt lost, I felt isolated and I was starving". He opened his eyes and kept staring at some undefined point on the opposite wall. "She made her choice; she preferred that chemical pleasure instead of her own child, and she left me".
"Christian, I'm so sorry…" Ana was at a loss for words. That terrible situation had conditioned him all his entire life, making him feel unworthy of being loved… Her heart missed a beat as tears threatened in the back of her eyes. "And when did you meet Grace and Carrick?" She asked trying to move into a kinder territory.
"Grace was the doctor on duty when they took me to the hospital. She's a pediatrician. She was like an angel to me… dressing totally in white, her voice was soft and sweet, her words kind, and she respected my boundaries".
"What do you mean with your boundaries?" Ana asked frowning.
"She didn't touch me without asking. She let me change clothes by myself. She didn't push me to speak. She let me be, but showed me her affection". Ana nodded quietly, her expression wary. He resumed after a few seconds. "She saved me. She and Carrick decided to adopt me, despite all my faults, despite I didn't deserve it, and I owe them my life".
"Why do you say you didn't deserve it, Christian? You were only a child. You were not responsible of your mother's faults…"
"I am not good, Ana, and neither when I was a child" Christian interrupted her. "That's the reason my mother preferred to leave me".
"That makes no sense, Christian" Ana's frown went deeper. Christian kept an impassive face. "Has anyone told you this…? I mean, made you believe this, that you are not worthy of… love and affection?"
Christian blinked once, imperceptibly, and Ana could see some kind of dark shade crossing his face, changing his whole demeanour for a few seconds, but quickly he recomposed himself again. She had touched a tender point in there; she knew it and he also knew she did.
"I'm sorry, Christian… I didn't mean to judge you…" Ana tried to excuse herself, but he interrupted her abruptly, violently throwing his heavy load in a poor attempt to warn her from… himself.
"I beat and fuck little ladies, preferably brunettes and preferably tied up, because I'm a sadist, Ana. Because they remind me of the woman who let all that shit happen to me". He spat out the words like venom, slapping Ana in the face with them. Ana held her breath, a cold fear making her shiver. He stared at her with a sad expression.
"What…?" Ana muttered with a hoarse voice. All the air in her lungs had left, leaving her weak.
"In the end you know the truth… I'll dress and leave". He got up from the bed to grab his clothes that were scattered on the floor. A sharp excruciating pain pierced in his chest, threatening to split him off in two. That was the end.
"No, no, no, no!" Ana screamed in pain, running to the bedroom door to prevent him from leaving. "You can't just leave!" Her crystalline eyes and her shaking chest showed her pain. A rush of desperation took over her. She stood under the threshold with her arms stretched, holding both door frames with her small hands, her knuckles white from her firm grip. She took some needed deep breaths and looked him in the eye. "You can't just leave" she repeated breathlessly. "You owe me an explanation".
Christian stood in front of her. Her mesmerizing eyes were open wide, pleading him to stay, searching for an answer.
"I don't have a satisfactory answer for you" He answered confused. He didn't expect that reaction from her. He could manage her revulsion or contempt, but not this. He looked down to her naked body; her muscles rigid, blocking his exit. Her face flushed with her cheeks wet from the unstoppable tears and her eyes with a defiant glare. He wiped the salty stains from her face with his thumbs. "Don't cry, Ana. I won't hurt you, ever".
"I'm not crying because I think you will physically hurt me… I know you won't… I'm crying because you are giving up on me. You haven't even given me the benefit of the doubt". Ana let go of the door frames, suddenly exhausted and a little bit dizzy.
"I… I'm sorry, Ana. I…" Christian was at a loss of words. She was not frightened. Was she upset for him to leave? He frowned. "Have you really heard what I have just said?"
"That you usually beat and fuck little brunettes, preferably tied, because they remind you of your birth mother…? Yes, I think so" Ana said crossing her arms on her chest, a sudden rage crawling directly from her stomach.
"Yes… you have heard me quite well" Christian felt ashamed of himself. Why on earth had he been so rude? Sure there was a much better way of telling her… Moreover, it was totally wrong to hear those words from her. "Ok, I think I owe you an explanation".
"Sure" She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to make some tea… do you want some? And please, put on some clothes… I can't think straight with you like this" Ana stated without any hint of humour in her voice, pointing directly at his penis. She was verbose, uninhibited and completely unwilling to accept more crap from him. She grabbed her t-shirt from the floor of the main room in her way to the kitchen and dressed with it.
Christian, speechless and completely astonished, took his boxers from the floor and put them on. "No, thanks" He muttered.
He followed her to the kitchen and sat on a stool, quietly gazing at her. His mind was spinning wildly; there were so many things to say that he didn't know where to start.
"Ana, I have no excuses; I was not right speaking to you like that… I'm really sorry" He tried to apologize again.
"I don't give a fuck about the way you spoken to me… but don't even dare judge me like that ever again". She said calmly after sipping her tea, her menacing words totally discordant with her sweet tone.
"Fair point well made" Christian conceded arching a brow; half amused, half pissed off and half frightened of the little Ms. Steele. "I won't do it again. I swear" he said crossing his hand over his heart.
Ana took a deep breath and then looked at Christian, smiling again. "Ok, name it". Her body tensed a little as if preparing herself for a hard blow.
He stiffened in his sit and run both his hands through his hair. "Ana… thank you for listening to me… It's hard… it's really hard for me… I am not used to opening myself up this way, only with my shrink, and half of the times I end up the session standing up and leaving". He shrugged and smiled sadly, as if remembering an old and too much used joke. "But as hard as it is, with you it is much easier". She put her hands into his and he leaned to kiss them. "I had really never imagined this, Ana. I mean… I dreamt about it when I first met you and then again when I heard you on the radio, but, although even we had decided to meet, and I was craving to know you, it seemed to me like something almost impossible to happen" He inhaled sharply and then breathed heavily. "I always expect the worst because I don't feel worth of anything good. And you are too good, Ana".
"Christian" She approached him leaning in the bar and brushed her lips against his. He inhaled her warm breath, as if he could get some magical strength with it. After a few seconds, he resumed his talking.
"Ana… I have never felt the need of being involved sentimentally with anyone except my family, but I'm a man with needs…" Ana gulped profusely. "On the other side, there are my touch issues… I can't have a normal sexual relationship with anyone, with the risk of touching my chest or my back, and me freaking out…" Christian grimaced at the thought.
"But you can. You have shown me…" Ana said.
"You are different from the rest. I knew it from the very beginning" He said matter-of-factly.
"So, do you hire… sex professionals?" Ana asked shyly.
Christian laughed tiredly. He could not believe he was talking about this with her…
"No, Ana. It's not like that. I'm a Dominant".
"You are a dominant…" Ana repeated the words slowly, trying to assimilate their meaning. "It makes sense" she conceded.
"Makes sense?" He asked.
"Yes. You have some kind of domineering aura… subtle, but very powerful… It's very appealing" she said blushing. "I'm sure it also helps you with your business" She kept quiet for some seconds and then added "but I'm not sure what you are talking about".
He closed his eyes as in deep concentration and then opened them again.
"I had contractual relationships, with submissives. I was only sexually interested in them; nothing more. We arranged some kind of contract, with our hard and soft limits, we set the timing of our encounters and some rules that they had to follow".
"These are the women you beat and fuck, especially tied up?" Ana asked, confusion written all over her face.
"Well, if you say it like this…"Christian felt ashamed.
"Your words, not mine" Ana defended herself raising her hands. "All this stuff is related to BDSM, isn't it?"
"Do you know about the lifestyle?" Christian's eyes went wide in astonishment.
"Well, not really, but it sounds like that; pain, domination, submission, bondage…" She enumerated.
He rubbed his face and took a deep breath. "I can't believe we are talking about this" he said.
"Me neither" She shrugged. "Tell me how it works".
"Are you sure you want me to tell you?" Christian asked incredulously. Ana nodded in assent, but not completely sure if it was a good idea. "Ok… First, it's not all about pain. It's mostly about pleasure, and exploring your limits. Pain is something that frequently goes with the pack… but never beyond what the person can take".
"Explore your limits…" Ana said absentmindedly. Having spent a night like that, she could imagine how it would be with him exploring her limits… She squirmed in her stool and then shook her head to focus in what he was saying.
"Apart from sex, they had to follow some behavioural rules, especially while being with me".
"What kind of rules?" She asked frowning.
"Clothes, food, exercise… They had to be respectful and treat me as their Dom".
"And what does it mean 'treat you as their Dom'?"
"Well, basically they had to… please me. It depends on the circumstance, but most of the times it would consist in keeping quiet until requested and to consent willingly to all my sexual requests any time and any way I asked them for". Christian looked at Ana anxiously.
Ana kept a poker face. It was maybe too much for her taste. She just didn't want to imagine dozens (or hundreds) of women willingly throwing themselves at him to pleasure him in every possible way, having the time of their lives. She shut her eyes to erase those images from her mind.
"Are you all right, Ana?" Christian said concerned. Perhaps this was too much information.
"Kind of…" She said pouting.
"It all ended after Christmas" He stated.
"What…?" Ana asked, still a little dizzy from her overworking imagination.
"I finished my last contract after Christmas, on New Year's Eve" He paused, looking Ana in the eye, to reassure her. "I just couldn't… get you out of my mind". He kept looking at her, studying her reaction, exuding anxiety, until Ana's face drew a shy smile. He just let go the breath he didn't know was holding. Then Ana frowned again.
"So…" she said fidgeting her fingers "Did all of them look like your birth mother?" Ana didn't want to upset him, but that was something she needed to talk about.
"Kind of…" He said with a worried face, quoting her.
"Do I look like her?" Ana widened her eyes, waiting for his answer.
"No, not at all" he asserted without hesitation. "It's not like they all were like identical twins, you know…" Christian wanted to soften his own words, but he didn't know how. "I used to like petite, pale skin brunettes… it's not like they were exactly like my mother".
"So, I'm your usual type?" She said with an indecipherable expression.
"You are completely different from any woman I have never met, Ana. You take my breath away" He replied sincerely.
"Can you hold me, please?" She said approaching him and positioning herself between his legs. She could feel she was about to faint.
"Sure, baby" He said engulfing her with his arms. She was so warm, so soft. He kissed her head, that was in the crook of his neck, and inhaled the scent of her silky hair "Let's go to bed" He whispered in her ear.
He took her in his arms and brought her to the bed, cuddling together while stroking gently her arm. They kept quietly lying in the bed for a while, both of them trying to find their own way in that first approach, their breathing the only sound in the room. Finally, Ana turned around to face him.
"Can I ask you something? I don't want to upset you…" She said softly, her expression full of unanswered questions.
"Of course, Ana. I want to be completely sincere with you. I mean it. I want you to trust me too. I don't want you to be upset either… You know I won't hurt you, ever, don't you?" He said caressing her face with his fingertips.
"I know you won't, Christian" She reassured him.
"I mean that I have never thought about inflicting any pain on you, neither in a sexual context" He sat up cross legged on the bed. "And I swear you that my mind has gone really wild thinking about you… I have a powerful imagination!" He quitted his rambling interrupted by her giggling, arching a brow.
"I bet you have!" she said still giggling. "Christian, I'm not worried about your sexual preferences… I'm sure we will find each other half-way. It is not wrong; one might like it or not, but it is something consensual, and I'm sure that all that women that you beat and fucked" she air quoted her last words "were willingly looking for it. I'm worried because it seems it is the way you have chosen to cope with your real problems. That is wrong and it's the real problem."
Christian was speechless. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but he was at a loss for words. Finally he said. "Shit, you talk like my shrink".
Ana sighed. She studied Christian's face. He was stubbornly frowning and looked like a sulky teenager. But he didn't seem upset; just… lost.
"Can I ask you a few more questions?" She said sweetly.
"I suppose so…" He answered grumpily, lost in his thoughts. He had dropped the bomb and she was still there, in front of him. He looked at her in disbelief. Her face radiated sincerity, her shining irises looked at him without any shadow of disappointment and her sweet smile slowly erased his frown. "You're still here".
"Yes, I am" she whispered. If he only realized of how attached to him she was…
"I suppose I have abandonment issues…" he lowered his gaze to the bed while taking some imaginary fluff from the sheets. "When you didn't come to our meeting… it was worse than I thought. Although I knew I didn't deserve you, I felt lost and abandoned… again". He gulped profusely. "I didn't want to feel that way ever again… there was a permanent dark shadow over me. I felt I was losing control again and I was about to do something really stupid… until I heard you again on the radio, looking for me, trying to reach me again" he closed his eyes "It was so comforting to think that you hadn't given up on me… again". Then he looked her in the eye. "I'm sorry to be that… troubled".
"Hey, it's ok" she said putting a finger on his chin to prevent him to lower his gaze again. "I understand, I perfectly understand. "I'll take note of it. You can count on me". She smiled at him and he rewarded her with a shy smile.
Then, he rubbed his face with both his hands and added "Ok, ask me those questions".
She straightened herself. "Well… I understand for what you have said that you've never had a regular sex encounter… am I right?" He nodded without saying anything. She bit her lip in an anxious way before speaking again, trying to find the right words. "Ok… so, how did you get involved into BDSM? How did you become a dominant? You don't have to answer if you don't want to…" She fidgeted her fingers while speaking.
"I was a submissive first. I become a dominant at twenty-one, a few months before our first meeting" His eyes were wary.
Christian as a submissive? Ana could not help her wild imagination running with several shocking images of him being subdued by some random dominatrix in multiple different ways… It was hot, but… odd and kind of wrong for her. She came to earth noticing Christian's hand waving in front of her face.
"Ana?" Christian asked, concern written on his face.
"I also have a powerful imagination…" She said shaking her head. He did a half smile and shrugged. Then, his expression changed into a cautious one, and Ana knew she wasn't going to like what he was about to say.
"Picture this, Ana… My childhood was difficult for my parents, but nothing compared to my adolescence. In spite all their efforts, I was a very troubled teen; I only gave them endless disappointments and troubles. I felt like shit, and I began drinking and fighting". Ana's eyes widened. "Yes, I fought nonsense with any fucker who got in my way. I had an overwhelming rage inside me that ripped out of me and consumed me. Fighting was the only way to let it out. Besides, the pain from the bruises and the broken bones was way better than the pain I felt inside" Ana nodded, chewing the inside of her cheek. She already noticed that rage, that pain and that sadness the very first time she saw him… hearing him openly talking about it only confirmed what she already knew, but it was still hard to hear. "And it was the only touch I could bear" Christian held his breath. "Do you understand, Ana?" He pleaded.
"Of course I do, Christian. I can't imagine the hell you had to go through, but I mean it, Christian, I'm here now if you let me in" she said caressing his beautiful face.
He took her hands, kissed them, and kept them between his, trying to maintain some physical contact for his next revelation.
"I found some kind of solution, that I have always thought it was the best that could have happened to me… but now I'm not so sure" Ana listened to him intently. "In fact, I first began questioning it when I first met you" He kissed her hands again and she returned the gesture, lovingly kissing his knuckles and intertwining their fingers. "One summer my parents sent me to do some work on the backyard of one of my mother's friends. I had been expelled from three schools in the last two years and my parents somehow had managed to keep me in the current one, probably with one big donation. Summing up, they were really pissed off and they thought that some physical work and some discipline would be good for me and would diminish my stamina". Ana nodded again, showing she was following him. "I had spent two good hours of hard work digging out the weeds when my mother's friend approached me with some lemonade. I was bare chested because it was too hot, and I freaked out a little when I first saw her coming, but she kept her distance and I relaxed a little". Christian sighed. His mouth had gone dry and he was feeling nervous again. How it was possible that what he have thought all his entire life as something positive for him now it felt so… wrong? Ana squeezed his hands to reassure him, although she was holding her breath too. "She made some comment about my physical shape and asked me if I worked out… and I made some comment about her fantastic ass". He shrugged with an apologetic smile and Ana's eyes went wide.
"Did you tell that to your mother's friend?" Ana was shocked.
"I was a horny teenager. I was fifteen and I was a prick!" Then Christian took a deep breath and recited the words he said the next as if they were something he had learnt. "She slapped me on the face, so hard that my head moved abruptly to one side. And then, before I could react, she grabbed my jaw with one hand and my crotch with the other one and kissed me hard, violently" He kept in silence for some seconds. "She didn't touch my chest. Then, she slapped me again and went away". Christian looked Ana in the eye, waiting for her reaction.
"You… were… fifteen. Only fifteen" Ana said feeling nausea, imagining what that evil woman had done to him.
"Yes, Ana. The same age as you when we first met".
Reality hit her. Was this the reason that made him not returning to Mr. Harris shop? "You were not like her! You are not like her!" She voiced her thoughts out loud.
"The night after we met, I couldn't help dreaming about you… making love to you. You kissing my chest" Christian felt goose bumps remembering the blessed sensation of her lips on his skin. "I felt like a monster. I could not ruin you like that".
They remained in silence, until Ana asked him to continue. She needed to know.
"That day I went home confused… and horny. I could not bear anyone getting close to me, so it was my first kiss. I kept thinking about it all night".
"Didn't you tell your parents?" Ana asked with a worried face.
"No, I didn't, because I wanted it to happen again. And it happened. The next day I went to her house she was alone. First, she acted as if nothing had happened… but when I was about to go, she asked me if I wanted her to kiss me again, and I, of course, answered yes. She did it, and then she slapped me again. I was so shocked…but aroused at the same time. Then, she told me there was a thin line between pleasure and pain, and that if I was capable of embrace it all, she would give me infinite pleasure".
Ana couldn't help it and exploded. "And she got you into a fucking BDSM relationship being only fifteen! I can't believe it!" She yelled, raising her hands in the air. "She is a paedophile, Christian!"
"I didn't see it like this in that moment, Ana. It helped me. I quit the fighting and the drinking. I began working hard in school, getting my grades. My parents were happy with me, for once in their lives! It was simple and worked for me: if I followed the rules I was rewarded, and if not…"
"You were punished, I've got it" Ana finished the sentence feeling repugnance. Not only was he abused as a little child, but also as a teen for that disgusting woman.
"Don't be upset, Ana" He asked her.
"I'm not blaming you, Christian. I… I just don't get it. I'm positively sure there was a better way to make you change your behaviour. Don't you see it?" Ana said devastated.
Christian closed his eyes. "I know you are right, Ana. I thought it was the best that had happened to me… I got focused. I made the most of my potential and I became a man of success, in control… or some imagined control" he conceded. "I also learnt a lot about pleasure, about how to receive it and how to give it" his gaze burnt into Ana's skin making her squirm. "But, at the same time, it isolated me; I separated myself from my family and from whoever wanted some personal interaction with me".
"How much time were you her submissive?" Ana asked. Her face was as pale as a sheet of paper.
"Until I realized I wanted to become a dominant. In fact, she was my submissive for a while" Christian kept his stare glued to Ana's face.
"That means… six years!" Ana realized, shocked. Christian nodded quietly. "Was she your only… sexual partner?"
"Of course she was! She would beat the shit out of me if I only had thought of having sex with anyone else!" Christian chuckled, but then noticed Ana's horrified face. "I didn't need more, and when I felt I just wanted to change my condition… we finished our arrangement".
"Arrangement… not relationship?" Ana asked frowning.
"You could call it a relationship, but there was not any romantic connection between us".
"Only sex. During six years". Ana said out loud, more to herself. "That means… no girlfriends during high school or college… no proms, no pitiful and shy attempts of kissing or making out in the back seat of a car…?"
Christian shook his head no, frowning. He didn't like the images forming in his head of Ana doing all this things with some random fucker.
"Well, some of those things are really tedious…" Ana said trying to soften her previous comment.
"How many fu… I mean, guys tried to make out with you in the back seat of the car?" Christian said, his frown deepening.
"I don't know… a few ones" She said narrowing her eyes. "Do you still see that Mrs. Robinson?"
"Mrs. Robinson?" Christian asked amused. "Yes. Elena, that's her name, is a friend of my mother, and a good friend of mine. We also are business partners".
"I can't believe it…" Ana muttered. She bit her tongue.
"What?" He snapped at her.
"For fuck's sake, Christian! Don't you realize that woman did not help you at all? It is true that due to your fucked-up start in life you isolated yourself from your family, from love, from a normal life… but I'm sure as hell that paedophile helped you to dig your own hole and not let you go out!" Ana put her hand over her mouth. She couldn't believe she had said those words out loud!
In a nanosecond, Christian's serious face turned into a smirk. He jumped out over her and pinned her to the bed, covering her body with his while grabbing both her wrists.
"What I would like to do to your smart mouth…" He said against her lips before kissing her hungrily. When they paused to breathe, he conceded "Ok, baby. You're right. Now that you have rescued me, please, don't let me fall again". And he kissed her once again. "Sure as hell that Flynn will like you, baby".
_§ § 0 § §_
They talked for hours. Ana told him about her college years. About her firsts attempts in music. They talked about their hobbies. They were from two different worlds, but they shared a lot of things in common. He told her about his childhood with Grace and Carrick. About his siblings. Ana realized that, in spite of his self-imposed isolation, Christian was very fond of his family; he had always been a passive spectator from the distance, longing to share their happiness. He also told her about his closest employees, Jason Taylor and Gail Jones; they were as family to him, although he hadn't realized yet. About the interviews with his submissive's. About the non disclosure agreements. About his nightmares. About how he managed to build such an empire out of nowhere; how he had dropped from Harvard, and how Elena had helped him financially. She didn't make any other comment about Elena; she didn't want to spoil their moment of peace. They both were amazed by the other one, any of them not sure about being worthy enough, but accepting their incredible good luck and grabbing that opportunity with both hands.
_§ § 0 § §_
"Let's sleep, baby. You seem exhausted" Christian said brushing a strand of hair from her face. She looked at him lovingly, relishing in his mesmerizing eyes, the soft stubble covering his chiselled jaw, his full lips that she traced with her index finger.
"Thank you for choosing me" she said sleepily.
"Thanks to you, Ana, for choosing to stay" He kissed her temple and tightened his embrace, entering both of them into a peaceful dream.
_§ § 0 § §_
They woke up with the room filled with beaming rays of sunlight upon their faces after a few hours of sleep. Their limbs were entangled and Ana's head resting on Christian's chest. They smiled shyly to each other and kept in silence for some minutes, studying each other's features and trying to assimilate their current status, making sure all that was really real. Christian tried to guess her thoughts looking into her eyes; she knew all his awful secrets and she still was there. How was it possible? He tried harder, but he got lost in those bottomless blue pools. Yes, she was there, smiling at him. He kissed her head and smelt the intoxicating scent of her hair.
"Good morning, Ana". His voice was husky.
The feeling of his warm breath on her neck made Ana smile wider. Yes, it was real. It wasn't another one of her dreams. He was there; his strong arms around her were real. The heat irradiating from his body was real and that mesmerizing stare, filled with an unnamed emotion, was also real.
"Good morning, Christian".
"This has been the night of my life" he said leaning his elbow on the bed. "It seems you even protect me from my nightmares too" He said beaming. Ana thought she could watch that smile forever.
"Well, baby… I'll protect you from the hooded claw, keep the vampires from your door…" she sang while tightening her biceps.
They both laughed heartily and ended up kissing fervently. Christian had already released Ana from her t-shirt and was trailing kisses down her neck when the tone from a text message startled her. She took it, despite Christian's efforts to prevent her. She read Kate's message out loud:
"Elliot thought it would be a good idea to advise you we are coming, in case you are not alone… xoxo"
They sighed in frustration. Christian, who was ready for action, shook his head. Ana took a deep breath and then sighed heavily. She looked sideways at Christian's erection and bit her lip lusciously.
"I better go to have a shower" she said as she slowly made her way to the bathroom.
"Can I join you?" Christian said staring at her perfect rounded ass as she walked. He slowly followed her, drooling, as he took out his boxers.
"Ummm… I think this shower is not big enough for the two of us. It's a pity you are that big..." she said playfully batting her eyelashes as she turned on the water.
"Well, I thought you liked me that big…" He teased her back, thinking about what he would like to do to her. She was right, that shower, which had a transparent screen, seemed enough comfortable for one person, but not for two. "Ok, I will wait here for you to finish" He said leaning on the sink counter, his arms crossed on his chest, a smirk on his face and showing proudly his glorious nakedness.
"Watching me?" Ana asked with a high-pitched voice. His smirk grew wider with her embarrassment and he nodded licking his lips.
"Ok" she said narrowing her eyes. She entered into the shower nonchalantly, thinking about some sexy movements she had seen in a movie. Nothing came to her mind. She had gone blank. She positioned herself under the water without looking at Christian.
The hot water felt good… she hadn't noticed before, but all her muscles were sore because of their… nocturnal activities. She put some shampoo on her hand and massaged her scalp. She moaned softly. Maybe it was his intense stare that made her skin burn, but she suddenly stopped feeling shy and felt… sexy. Jane Child's 'Mona Lisa smiles' came to her mind. It was one of the sexiest and hottest songs she had ever heard… and she began swinging her hips to the sound of the song that was playing in her head. She felt confident, and turned around to face Christian. The lustful look in his sinful eyes was enough to make her moan. He was gaping at her, his chest moving fast with a superficial and erratic breathing. He was grasping the sink counter tightly, preventing his fingers from fidgeting; he was itching to touch her. His stare was dangerous, like a predator waiting for his prey, and he had an impressive hard rock erection. Ana felt… powerful. And terribly turned on. She looked at him relishing in his magnificent body and then locked her eyes with his. She began caressing her body, slowly slipping her hands from her neck to her abdomen.
Christian stared at her mesmerized. He knew he was drooling, but he didn't give a fuck. He had wanted to tease her, knowing she was that shy, but she had made a fool of him. Only the sight of the water cascading over her delicious body had made him instantly hard, and when she began moving so sensually and touching herself like that, he had had to grip the counter not to throw himself at her. But what turned him on the most was the look in her eyes. She knew she had him; that he was at her mercy. She was so sweet, so naïve, so innocent… and at the same time so fucking sexy, so naughty…
"Yes, I love that" The words escaped from his mouth like the flood of an open dam. She took his breath away.
When she began caressing her full breasts with that sinful expression on her lovely face and one of her hands began going south, he couldn't stand it anymore.
"Enough" he whispered, more to himself. He opened the screen and snaked his arm in her waist.
"Well, naughty girl… let me help you with this…" Ana made a heartfelt laugh, but she was immediately silenced by Christian's lips.
_§ § 0 § §_
They were lying untidily on the bed, both of them flat on their backs, exhausted and sated. The sheets were a wet mess surrounding them and there was a trail of puddles and foam from the bathroom to the bed.
"This is a complete mess! And it's all your fault!" Ana said leaning on her elbows as she looked at her surroundings. She flashed a grin to Christian when he made a face.
"Excuse me?" Christian said, faking offense. "Not at all; it's your fault."
"What?" Ana sat on the bed straightening her back.
"Yes. You were tempting me… a lot. Too much, actually." He said matter-of-factly.
"Well, what were you expecting me to do? You threw down the gauntlet and I, of course, had to accept the challenge". She said crossing her arms on her chest.
"You surpassed all my expectations… and I'm glad you did". He approached her and left a trail of soft kisses on her jaw. Then, he looked at the clock on Ana's bed table. "I think we should get dressed before Kate and Elliot arrive".
"Yes, we should" Ana sighed. "Ok, listen to me… We get dressed, and then I prepare breakfast while you clean this mess. Deal?" She said grinning widely while offering her hand to Christian.
He smirked. He, Christian Grey, billionaire, was about to clean a bathroom. Yes, this woman definitely was something else. "Deal" he said taking her hand and kissing her loudly on her lips.
_§ § 0 § §_
Christian checked his Blackberry which was on vibrate, before beginning his chores. There was a missed call from his mother and several missed calls and messages from Elena, which he erased without reading them. He sent a message to Taylor to tell him his plans and decided to call his mum once in his penthouse.
Ana was almost done with the breakfast. In fact, she had cooked some kind of brunch, because it was really late. She reached to the bedroom to check if Christian needed some help, but he was already putting the mop into the broom cupboard.
"Wow, good job, man!" she exclaimed. Everything was dry and shiny. "I will tell Mrs. Jones; she has to know!" she teased him.
"Don't you dare…" He narrowed his eyes while thinking about increasing Gail's salary.
"Mr. Grey… haven't you learnt anything about challenging me?" she said before kissing him.
"Fair point well made, again" Christian chuckled. "But I will be very pleased to see your successes upon my challenges" He returned the kiss. "Do you want me to put some music on?"
"Be my guest" she answered kissing him again. "Our brunch is almost ready".
"I'm really hungry" he said mesmerized by the swing of her hips as she left the room.
After a last glance of those powder blue eyes, he smiled to himself. He had found her, finally. It was too good to be real, and he had done nothing to deserve her, but he definitely had made up his mind to do whatever it took to keep her. Searching through the list of songs in Ana's iPod he found the perfect one.
He entered the kitchen humming the tune that was playing in the background. Ana was leaving on the bar some delicious pancakes.
"Do you like classics, Mr. Grey?" Ana said approaching him.
"What's not to like about this song, Ms. Steele?" He said putting his hands on her waist.
"I cannot agree more with you, Mr. Grey. Good choice" she answered winding her arms around his neck.
"Do you dance?" he said already moving.
"I thought you would never ask"
"We aim to please". He lifted her in the air spinning her round.
They danced carefree around the apartment. When Frank Sinatra was about to sing Christian's favourite part of the lyrics, he tightened his embrace around Ana and whispered the words in her ear:
"I'd sacrifice anything come what might
for the sake of having you near
in spite of a warning voice that comes in the night
and repeats, repeats in my ear:
Don't you know little fool you never can win?
Use your mentality, wake up to reality.
But each time that I do just the thought of you
makes me stop before I begin.
Cause I've got you under my skin".
He looked at her smiling widely, with his eyes full of joy. Ana looked at him intently, sharing the same joy and understanding the great deal behind those words: trust. Christian spun her around once more, making her scream and giggle.
"Oh, Ana, I love that sound… it is the third sound in the world I like most" He said with a smile playing on his luscious lips.
"The third one?" She asked amused and he slowly nodded in assent, playful. "Can I ask you which the other two are?"
"Of course you can" He said before freeing her of his embrace and making her spin round one arm. When he held her again he pulled her against his body. "The first one is your sweet and spicy voice while singing. It's like being in heaven". They spun round together once more.
"And the second one?" She asked breathless. His proximity was so overwhelming.
"The second one is your sweet moans, especially near my ear" He said against her neck, making her feel goose bumps all over her body and the muscles of her belly clench deliciously. "You don't have any idea how I love that sound".
They began kissing, first softly, but it escalated quickly into a passionate embrace. Ana was against the wall with her hands fisting into Christian's hair and he grinding his body to hers when they heard the door being opened.
"Wow little bro, you've got her up against the ropes!" Elliot chuckled.
Christian released her and run a hand through his tousled hair, grinning and waving to Kate and his brother. "Good morning guys, we were expecting you".
"It doesn't seem so…" Kate retorted smirking at Ana, who was beet-red.
"I've prepared some brunch… do you want to join us?" Ana said avoiding looking them in the eye.
"Hell, yes! It smells delicious, and I'm hungry!" Elliot said sitting on one of the stools. "Christian, I suppose you are not that hungry, aren't you? After all, you were eating your fill when we entered…" He chuckled. He smiled seeing his little brother's beaming smile, and he couldn't help thinking about how much fun it will be to tease him once and again.
Buff! What a night!
These are the songs of this chapter:
Enjoy the silence. Depeche Mode.
Mona Lisa smiles. Jane Child (This is one of my favourite songs ever. I know it talks about a lesbian relationship. I'm not telling here that Ana had some kind of attraction to women. I don't care at all, but it's not the case. I just think that this song is sexy as hell, hot and simply perfect for doing something like that ;)
I've got you under my skin. Frank Sinatra (such a beautiful classy song, with such a powerful meaning… Have you ever realized?)
Please review! And thanks for reading!