Phoenix Wright (Finix=misspelled) from every Ace Attorney game.
Cicero (in Italy, Cicerone), a lawyer who lived at the time of Roman Empire (probably the most famous). Some things in this fiction are imaginary, others are grounded on history. (Here called also C)
Gaio Giulio Cesare (Italian name, in English and Latin Gaius Iulius Caesar) before he became a dictator, he was senator..
Sergio Catilina (again Italian name, in English Catiline. Catilinarie is Cicero's oration against him) known for the Second Catilinarian Conspiracy, a supposed attempt to overthrow the Roman Republic.
The numbers in the story refer to the notes at the end of the fic, not the same reading them after the plot,sorry for the discomfort:|
I cleared my throat in a tragic way: - Potestne tibi haec lux, Catilina, aut huius caeli spiritus esse iucundus, cum scias esse horum neminem, qui nesciat te pridie Kalendas Ianuarias Lepido et Tullo consulibus… - And here i interrupted myself, pensive. How could I call this splendid oration? Mmm..Catilensi didn't sound so good to me.
The senators stared at me, frowning a bit because of the sudden pause, so I shrugged my thoughts off and kept talking: - Lepido et Tullo consulibus stetisse in comitio cum telo, manum consulum et principum civitatis interficiendorum causa paravisse, sceleri ac furori tuo non mentem aliquam aut timorem tuum sed fortunam populi Romani obstitisse? – Here it is,Catilinarie! - Ac iam illa omitto-neque enim sunt aut obscura aut non multa commissa postea-quotiens tu me designatum, quotiens consulem interficere conatus es!
And at this point I took in a deep breath for the grand finale: - Quot ego tuas petitiones ita coniectas, ut…
I turned around slowly, looking round for the one who dared to interrupt my astonishing ending: Catilina was already being short of contradictions, in just 4 hours!
Oooh, hullo ! - said the fella noticing me.
How dare you, crummy person, interrupt my magnificent Catilinarie - and here I smirked, because the name was far too awesome - *scowl restored* and prevent the Senate from reaching the legitimate verdict?!
Sorry C, but it's just not fair that poor Katty remained without a proper defence, do you mind? - Without waiting for a response, the bloke turned to everybody else, inspecting the room with a smug smile. - I see here the court is quite large..good, good *whispering and winking: - They are all gonna see your failure, Cicero-honey* Anywayy, g'd day ya all, I'm Phoenix Wright, ace-attorney. Don't forget, attorney-at-law, my beloved.
Good evening , your arrival is quite providential, as you can see. How about that, senator Cesare, can we have a ten-minute break? - that Catilina moron, tsk tsk. Cesare was my lover, so he would have done what I wanted him to do.
Conceded. - But damn! 1 Bloody world.. did Cesare become aware of me and Catie?
I realized with great displeasure the malevolent glance that my ..mm,i bet former-lover, shot me.
Obviously opposition wasn't of some help, at all. Oh joy.
- skip of time 'cause I can and Cicero blessed me with his awesomeness -
Preposterous. I looked at the ground with tears in my eyes. Absolutely impossible. That wretch Finix 2 had just defeated my Catilinarie?No way!A Cicero-guy will never give up like this! So..
- O-objection.. 3
Phoenix tsked.-You don't seem very convinced, dear C. You don't want the onehundredandeighth penalty, do you? 4
Your Honor 5 Gaio Jules 6 Cesare, I think it's high time to return a verdict.
Another smirk from my former lover. - Of course, Phoenix, honey. I declare the defendant not….
- Objection! - This time I spoke up. Mmm, I suppose "cried aloud" would be more correct, forasmuch as everyone had their hands on their ears.. 7
- Deafening the all present isn't a very appropriate manner to oppose one's verdict, Cicero, come on, have a bit of style- Oooh, how much I missed my Giulio's lovey-dovey rebukes..
- Ehm, ehm.. your counterargument is..?
- Oh, yes. Let's think about ''cum sumus necessariis negotiis curisque vacui tum avemus videre,audire,addiscere'' 8. Isn't it a very deep thought? So, this to say: our lil Phoenix here, isn't a rich noble 9 so how did he found the skills to find a way in objectively no time to prove Catilina's innocence, against me, who have so much experience 10? He must be pulling our legs with some tricks from the future!
It is indeed unacceptable that a bloke come from the future thanks to Catie..*coff coff* Catilina's witchcraft represent the defence of a trial held in 60 a.C.! So, senators, Giulio, have some common sense!- the above-mentioned was about throwing back my objection purple with rage, therefore I decided to unsheat my last weapon: the truth! - And pointed particularly at you, oh meus Caesar, you shouldn't take so much offence for so lil things. At least Catie and I had the decency to hide all behind our fake hatred towards each other and this trial, you and Bruto didn't even struggle to cover yourselves with a curtain!)
Thus I obtained what I wanted: an all-stammering-furiously blushing Cesare and a very loud murmur in the courtroom.
- C-cicero... - Oh god, not so many flushing people, or you'll make me red-faced too *cast a glance over the room* Ehy, wait a second, was it Phoenix's voice?! That brave attorney, come to think of it, the only one from that distant day with Verre, who actually has the guts to fight me with firmness and certain of defeating me... 11 Oh my deus, oh my deus pinch me, please.
I wandered with my thoughts, insomuch as I almost lost the further words of the gorgeo- mmm,young (?) defence attorney.
You..you have decided to seek the truth like I have always professed...even at the cost of ruining your reputation... - Oh holy mackerel, my reputation! - I...I..want to reveal the reason why I came here from the future.. 12
Mmm- I grunted halfhearted, then I brightened up- Ah, I know,I know! It's because I am so much interesting, clever, lovable, sharp, but most of all sexy that all the people want to know me. And now you wanna tell me that you love me, right, Wright? 13
- No, truly I wanted to tell you that I stole your current lover. - Phoenix scowled. And with these words he grabbed Catilina's arm (who was shrieking: Marry me Wright! Marryyy! You saved me from death! etc, etc. 14) and turned round for the last time.
- Good luck with Gaio. *sigh* The seeking of the truth must be put into practice in every age. In justice we trust!
- Waaaaaaaaaaat? Damnaturo Phoenix! Damnaturoooo 15! - but the captivating youngster was already vanished, and with him my Catie.
I spun around, faltering. The eyes of everyone were now set on me accusingly.
62 a.C., Pistoia:
After the glorious scurry from Rome to anywhere else (the fury of divus Cesare was not to take lightly) Cicero receive a messenger: he is now surrounded by the numinous'troops, who intimates him to take part in his harem to repay for the outrage. Cicero prefers death.)
Catilina sighs. Being in prison with Blackquill as fellow prisoner is not so good for his health. He compels him to simulate a samurai fight every day.
Phoenix sighs too. His friend Fool Bright obliged him to take more seriously the motto 'In justice we trust'. Now he has no lover nor Cicerone to torment. If only the latter wouldn't have been so obnoxious and conceited..
1 There I wanted to put a malapropism of Italian language, but finally I restrained myself. But trust me, it would have been faaar better.
2 How the fruck it was written,I will never know.
3 Yes, by then I had just adapted to the new rules..bitterly.
4 If you ever played the game, which I hope 'cause if not, why are you reading this?, you know how is frustrating when you don't know what evidence you must present.. here Phoenix is taking a little revenge.
5 And yeah, who do you think had taken the seat/position of judge? *sigh*
6 He managed to translate at least one of his multiple names.
7 Another analogy with the game. You are always on the edge of losing, when you find the way to untangle the inconsistency that (only) you find in the thesis of the prosecution.
8 Translation: When we are free from life's unavoidable worries and anxiety, we pine for hearing, seeing, learning.
9 So no free time to make up his mind about e-ve-ry-th-ing.
10 And free time: to think about strategies, of course!
11 And almost reaching his goal, unfortunately, so thanks ability of drawing attention away (wut, it's not bluffing!) and most of all, many thanks to Cesare's ukeness!
12 Thanks to the skip of time of the magnificently talented ffiction-writer. Ahah, jk. Never written any fanfiction before, not even in Italian.
13 Oh yes, did I forget hilarious? Unforgivable!
13 bis. All the rights to a friend of mine. She was the one coming out with 'right, Wright'. It's awful almost as my sense of humour.
14 Yes, lovelovelove, imagine this fuss with Catilina knelt down like a crying baby. Nauseating.
14 bis. If you are in Hetalia fandom too, like me, you will take this as a sweet version of Belarus..
15 Latin, like all the other words which you probably don't understand. (me neither, without a dictionary, even if I do study it) It means something on the line of "Be damned".
This fic is completely useless if you don't know: Phoenix Wright, Simon Blackquill (and his passion for samurai) and Detective Fulbright (and his 'In justice we trust!' motto). And if you don't know that Cicero defeated Verre in Sicily. Jk, before having to study it like a month ago, I didn't know, too. :'
Cicero is transgressive and uses American slang in his reported thoughts. For the sake of the story, dudes.
When I spell-checked this story, the spell checking suggested "frock" instead of "fruck" (which is, by the way, the bad word… like an euphemism in Hetalian key, if you know Hetalia. Many thanks to the above-mentioned friend, again). You can use frock if you prefer.
And finally, where I got the enlightenment: during history class, thanks to the influence of Hetalia I was thinking of a possible pairing between Cicerone and Phoenix (because they are both ace-attorneys!). I promised myself (and my friend) to write my first fic about those two, it ended up with many more pairings (Catiline x Caesar , Catiline x Cicero , Cicero x Caesar , Catiline x Phoenix ,…) Hope you enjoyed, even if it is sort of crazy, or whatever. Find the Italian word for "sclero".