Hey-o, and welcome to my Lil' World of Weirdness!!

I state for the record that I don't own Gundam Wing, or the wonderful characters that will be gracing this story. . . I do however lay claim to Ensign Saratone *again*, and I use him here purely as a replacement for your average Nameless OZ Minion. Hm, usual warnings . . . but it's not like anyone reads this bit up here anyway so . . .

Oh, and timeline . . . uh, yeah, WHAT timeline?! Both the Eypon and Tallgeese is still in service, and Zechs flies both of them regularly . . . okay? I know, I know . . . it doesn't follow cannon . . . but when the HELL have any of my stories ever followed cannon?!

Okay, that's the legal stuff out the way!!






By Doctor Megalomania

Chapter 17: It really should be the end, but . . .

[I'll put my A/Ns up here, because. . . yup, this is the last chapter of my first chaptered Gundam Wing 'fic, so read up, and gimme a review please!! I'd love to know what you think of the ending . . . {starts to laugh really, really evilly} catch ya soon!! Enjoy the end!! P.S: Queen of Vegetasei, THIS is what I thanked you for a couple of chapters ago, look out for Hilde at the end. And Clow'd9 and all 1x2 Yaoi fangirls, about the ending . . . I'm in an evil mood, please don't kill me . . .]

Chapter 17: It Really Should Be The End, But . . .

"Ugh . . . Damnit, J . . . you could at least warn some people before you make them wanna hurl their breakfasts up . . ."

J raised a critical eyebrow at Howard, "okay . . . I think we've had enough of the buttock jokes . . ."

Howard shrugged, and pulled out another cigar, he folded his hands behind his head and walked off, "who's talking about your ass, moron?"

As Doctor J had to be held back from Howard, Duo turned and smiled at his friends, "so anyway, I'm back . . ."

Heero walked forward, and grabbed the end of Duo's braid, "Maxwell . . . we need to talk."

Duo turned a very pale shade of pink, as he was dragged by his braid over to the car. He glanced over at Quatre, Trowa and Wufei, "uh . . . guys?"

"I don't know what he wants . . ." Quatre shook his head and held up his hands, Trowa shrugged and Wufei called after Heero rather unhelpfully, "Leave some for me as well, Yuy!" Wufei grinned, and cracked his knuckles, "I wanna teach him a lesson too!!"

"Oh, thanks Wu, you're so helpful . . ." Duo closed his eyes and stumbled, "look Heero, seriously . . . there's really no need to Omae O Kurosu me . . . seriously . . . aw, come on!! I brought the scientists back with me, didn't I?"

Heero paused and looked at him, raising a single bushy eyebrow, before glancing over at the scientists. Duo followed his gaze and gulped. The scientists were now showing Treize and Zechs how to do the Hula-Hula.

"Okay so. . . that really doesn't work in my favour. . . but-but-but . . ." Duo looked at Heero with pleading violet eyes, "Won't it be more satisfying to beat them to a bloody pulp? Think about it Heero, please?" Duo winced as Heero continued to the car, his steel grip clamped harder around the chestnut braid, "Awww. . . man, heeeero!! Come on!!!"

Heero continued to ignore him.

Which was actually a big mistake of his.

Because it awoke Shinigami.


Deathscythe watched this with little interest.

In fact it was safe to say, the Gundam Scientists and the commanding officers of OZ doing the Hula-hula had no interest for the massive Gundam. He was more interested in the four other Gundams rumbling toward him. Actually that was a lie. He was more interested in the Winged Gundam that was running over to him.

Wing slowed to a stop, and rocked on the balls of his feet. He stared at Deathscythe trying to ascertain if the black Gundam was in a good enough mood. . . and then decided that he didn't care. Wing let out a whoop, and jumped up into Deathscythe's arms.

"I missed you!!" The Gundam blasted down their secret channel. Deathscythe stared at him for a moment, before dropping him.

"Let go of me, Baka."

Wing sighed, "you never change . . ." he turned away from Deathscythe to let the others have a look at him, and was about to walk away, when he felt a hand clamp down on his arm. He blinked, and glanced over his shoulder.

If Gundams could blush – which they can't, but wouldn't it be cute if they could? – Deathscythe would have lit up the cloudy afternoon, with a hazy red glow. The Gundam was unusual hesitant as he held on. Wing tilted his head, and opened a communications channel, then closed it . . . then opened it again, and murmured, "are you--?"

Deathscythe's head snapped up, and the massive black and gold Gundam shuffled forward, "I . . . missed you. . ." he sighed and glanced at the others before carrying on quietly, "please . . . don't . . ."

The black and gold Gundam shuffled, and Wing – if Gundams could smile, which they can't but wouldn't it be cute if they could? – sent a picture of a smile to him. The winged Gundam stepped back, and lifted a massive hand to press a finger against Deathscythe's frontal interface – approximately where the nose was on humans – before murmuring, ". . . don't leave?"

Deathscythe huffed, and nodded.

Wing let out another whoop, and grabbed onto the slightly shorter Gundam, "I won't!!"

"Relena . . ."

The blonde girl looked down, and frowned, "what?"

Quatre winced, "you're stepping on my fingers, Relena. . ."

They were all standing outside the command tower, in Sandrock and Nataku's hands, trying to peer into the room where Heero had barricaded himself in with Duo and refused to allow anyone else in at all, not even the staff that were necessary to the smooth running of the base. So. . . the rest of the group had solved this by rather unsubtly perching themselves on two of the Gundams just outside, and trying to peer into the room.

Relena. . . being a little on the short side . . . had insisted that someone heft her up so she could see on the basis that, as Heero's girlfriend, she had every right to know what was going on in the command tower.

"So?" Relena said absently, not really paying any attention, looked back into the room, "what's that got to do with me?"

"So. . ." Quatre – who was the sap that offered to help her, curse his good heart – winced again, "so, my fingers are attached to my hands, Relena. . ."

"And. . .?"


Rubbing his head – from where Duo had hit him - Heero rolled his eyes as Quatre's voice rang out. Duo glanced up, and then looked down again. Heero had said nothing during the entire time they had been here and it was beginning to get a little scary. "So. . . uh, Heero . . . what was it that you wanted to say?"

Heero blinked and glanced at the window, "oh for crying out loud . . ." he huffed, "look Maxwell . . ." he paused, "Duo . . ." he corrected, and moved a little closer, "we need to get to a more secure position . . ."

Duo let out an explosive breath. "Heero!" He frowned deeply and stared up at the intense man, "look, I don't care what the others see okay, just tell me when you're gonna marry Miss Peace of After Colony 195 . . ."

Heero's eyes widened, "why on earth do you think I'm going to marry Relena?!"

"It's so obvious that you love her!" Duo pushed up from his seat, and wrapped his arms around his torso. "I'm so sick of her thinking that I've got my claws into you when obviously I don't!!"

Heero stared after him for a moment, "but Duo . . ."

"I mean, it's not like you've stayed awake for the last few days, wondering what I wanted you to do to me, after you throw me against the wall. . . but for your information. . . I really, really, really want you to s—"


Heero jerked as Duo was interrupted by Wing's loud voice. Heero spun to find his Gundam leaning toward the window. Wing waved politely, before speaking again, "Pilot Zero One, State Intentions."

"What?!" Heero raised an incredulous eyebrow.

"Repeat State Intentions. This Unit Requires Pilot's Intentions as evaluation . . ."

"Pardon me?!"

"This Unit . . ."

"I heard you!" Heero walked over to the window and stared at his Gundam, "why do you want to know?"

"This Unit will not allow any further emotional damage to come to Pilot Zero Two . . . Therefore, This Unit requires to know your intentions for evaluation purposes before you proceed with any operation."

Duo chuckled as he stood up and moved to stand by Heero, "Looks like you and old Death Buddy made up then . . ." He commented softly. Wing tilted his head, and if Gundams could blush – which they can't, but wouldn't it be cute, if they could? – Wing's face would have taken on a cute, adorable pinkish tinge.

"Aww . . ." Duo cooed, "young Gundam love. . ."

Deathscythe stomped over, and glared in at his pilot, making Duo chuckle.

Heero stared at his Gundam for a moment longer, then at the other people who eavesdropped on their conversation. "This is not a secure enough location!"

"Heero, man . . . look just come out with it . . ." Duo shook his head, "it's not like it's going to cause any major accidents . . . I can just see headlines now . . ." Duo held up his hands, "Peacecraft Princess weds her Rising Phoenix . . . kids perfect in everyway . . . God of death banned from ceremony. . . Gundams run riot after ingesting too much champagne . . ."

"Duo!" Heero growled out, "will you listen to me!!"

"Giant flower arrangements attacks Cornish Fishermen . . . Dorothy Catalonia's eyebrows win Eurovision Song Contest . . . Chang Wufei's pants cause catastrophe as famed Man of Justice is blown away in freak weather . . ."

"MAXWELL!!" Wufei's voice bellowed up, "SHUT UP AND LISTEN!!"

Heero grabbed Duo's braid and dragged the boy away from the window, Duo grunted and tugged, stumbling as he tried to regain his balance. "Hey, Heero! Man, cut it out! I'm listening!"

"Are you?!"

Duo blinked at the intensity of Heero's voice, "yeah . . . man . . . I am . . ."

"Good. Then let me tell you this in the clearest possible terms . . ."

Relena growled to herself as Heero dragged duo out of sight. She looked around for a better vantage point and noticed that Deathscythe's hands were the best place for her to stand. Crushing more of Quatre's fingers, she scrambled over to wing's hands, and up into Deathscythe's as the two Gundams watched their pilots.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!!" Quatre waved his hurt hands in the air and looked at Trowa beseechingly. His sweetheart, whose heart was so sweet, instantly took one of Quatre's hands and proceeded to suck in every one of the five digits. Quatre watched with fascination as his fingers were sucked in and out of Trowa's mouth. "Hey . . . Trowa . . . I . . ." Quatre swallowed, his blush rising, and a sly little smile lighting his face, "I didn't know you could do that with your mouth . . ."

Trowa blinked and stared up at his lover, his thoughts turning distinctly unsuitable for the OZ genetically modified children under the age of thirteen, secretly trained in the abilities of superhuman powers as a counter-measure to defend against the already super trained Gundam pilots.

Meanwhile Relena scrambled and perched herself on the left index finger of Deathscythe. Not Noticing the Gundam slowly swivel its head toward her . . .

"What Heero?"

Duo stared up as Heero leant over him, pinning him back in his chair. Unconsciously Duo tilted his face upward, tilting it at an angle that left his lips perfectly at the right angle for Heero just to push himself a little closer and sample those naturally pouting lips. Those lips that were famous for uttering the smartest retorts.

Those lips that infuriated the hell out of him.

Those . . . plush, soft lips . . . that were slightly parted . . . and . . .

"Uh, Heero . . ." Those lips parted again, and the small tip of the wet, pink tongue darted out, "man, you're makiung me kind nervous, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking you should shut up. . ."

"Okay." Duo almost squeaked. "Just do me one favour, don't kill me until . . ."

"Shut up. Now."

Heero drew a breath. Duo stared at him with wide, violet eyes. The two stared at each other for a long moment, breathing shallowly. They could hardly take their eyes off each other. Duo blinked, and swallowed. "Heero . . . look, if you're gonna kill me, then get it over and done with man, if not then . . ." those violet eyes that were filled with fear, flashed instantly to cold anger, "get out of my face Yuy."

This broke the intense concentration, "Duo. . . I . . ."


"Duo, I think you're one of the best pilots I've ever met. You might be irritatingly too happy, but you do your job. I don't tell you because I don't need to, you know it deep down."

Duo blinked, "uh . . . Heero . . ." Duo lifted his hand, and pressed it hesitantly against Heero's forehead, "look, if you're sick. . ."

Heero shook his head, "no . . . listen to me!" he raised his hand and pulled Duo's hand off his forehead, "I'm not good at talking like this—"

"Ya think?" Duo's lips quirked up with a slight smile.

"Hn!" Heero paused, and sighed, "look . . . I just want to know three things."


"One." Heero let go of Duo's hand, and held up a finger, "how long will it take us to kill the scientists?"

Duo's smile grew a little, "not long, I'm sure . . ."

Heero nodded, his eyes lighting up with Duo's smile, "Two . . . What do you think Relena's reaction will be if I kiss you?"

"Fairly fatal, I would think . . ." Duo leant forward, and brushed his lips over Heero's. there was a faint protesting scream, and a thump against the window. Heero smirked as he saw Relena slam her fists against the window in protest.


Relena screamed through the window as she watched Duo molest her innocent boyfriend, "Oh! Heero!! Get away from that. . . that . . . Thing!! Heeeero!!"

Wufei rolled his eyes as The Peacecrap Onna ranted at the two pilots within, impotently raging at them. He glanced over at Quatre and Trowa and felt his mouth fall open as Trowa demonstrate the many things he could do . . .

Wufei felt his eye twitch.

He never knew Trowa was a contortionist as well.

"Heeeeeeroooo!! I'll save you!!" Relena shook her head as Duo whispered something as his lips passed over Heero's. it was so nasty, Heero was her boyfriend, not that long haired freak's!

"What's number three, Heero?"

"Number three . . . is . . ." Heero leant closer, so only Duo could see his lips moving, so they were in a world of their own. "Number three is what the hell do you want me to do . . ." his heart skipped a beat or two as Duo's eyes dilated, and a low sexy smile crawled over those naturally pouting lips.

"After you throw me against the wall . . .?"

Heero nodded.

"After you ravish me . . .?"

Another nod followed.

"Well . . ." Duo smirked, "I can't tell you . . ."

Heero's eye twitched.

"Why the hell not?!"

Duo smiled, and motioned with his eyes to the window, "this isn't a secure location, solider . . ."

Heero's cold eyes narrowed, "we've got cover . . ."

"But what happens if the enemy breaches?"

"Then we've got an escape hatch."

"She's got a locator on us . . . She can track you anywhere, Heero. . ." Duo bit his lip, and pushed up in his seat to quickly lick Heero's lips lightly. "Mind you . . . so can I . . ."

"That's good . . ." Heero murmured, marvelling in the simple sensations that caused such deep reaction within his gut. He swallowed, "Duo, what are you doing to me . . .?"

The braided pilot smiled warmly, and sat back. "I don't know . . ." he professed, "I thought you . . . you wanted Relena . . ."

"Relena can go to hell . . ." Heero straightened, he stared at Duo for a long moment, "Duo, you don't need me to tell you that you're good . . ."

"But sometimes . . ." Duo stood, and stepped closer to Heero. He clasped his hands behind his back, and winked cheekily,  "sometimes it's nice to hear the words, eh?"

"What words?"

"Oh, I don't know . . ." Duo leant even closer, brushing his lips over Heero's cheek, "Duo, you're a great pilot . . . or maybe like, me saying . . . Heero, I want your bod. Heero, everyone's watching us, but throw me against that wall and ravish me until I demand you—"


The wind blasted in through the window, dumping a lot of cold air on the two overheated men. Relena in the meantime swung the window open further, and leant in, "don't let him do that to you Heero!! It's not natural!!"

"That's it!" Duo growled, he stalked over to the window and glared at Relena. "Look, miss Peacecraft. Let me knock some home truths into your head, okay?!" He held up his fingers, "One, contrary to what you think, I am not your enemy, in fact I saved your life a number of times . . . Two, being gay is perfectly normal behaviour, it's people like you who seem to think that because you don't do it means it isn't natural . . . Three for Gundam sake woman, when a man tells you he doesn't love you, it doesn't mean he's being coy!!"

And with that, Duo slammed the window shut again and stalked away.

Heero smirked as Duo came back to him.

"What are you smirking at, Soldier boy?!"

"You . . ."

"Why?" Duo folded his arms, "what now?"

Heero reached forward, and grabbed Duo. He slung him over his shoulder and carried the braided boy away. He then found a suitable wall and slammed Duo against it, making the briaded boy's cheeks grow even redder as he leant forward, and hissed, "now . . . what is it that you want me to do?"

Meanwhile. . .

Relena looked on, flabbergasted that the braided idiot had had the audacity to talk to her like that. She was sure that Heero would hit him for it, but instead picked up the smaller boy in a fireman's hold and carried him over to a wall. When she was sure that Heero was giving the braided moron a lecture, she was horrified to see the braided dolt move seductively, and kissed Heero hard.

When Heero didn't pull out his gun and shoot the other dead, Relena suddenly felt very faint.

So faint in fact that she fell off of Deathscythe's hand, and plummeted to the ground.

. . . Ouch.

The supreme commanding officers of OZ watched as the last, best hope for peace plummet to the ground with a faint cry of:


Treize winced, "oh . . . that is going to hurt . . ."

"I'll be sure that all the men get their ears checked for any damage," Une snapped a salute instantly, making Noin chuckle behind her hand.

"People!" Zechs cried out passionately, he pointed down to the ground with a pure white-gloved hand; "My sister, our last best hope for peace in on Earth and Space just fell to her death by falling off a Gundam!" He stared at them all for a very long moment, before sniggering. "No, it's not possible to say that with a straight face . . . let me try that again." He took a few deep breaths, and pulled as straight a face as he could muster, "My darling sister, our last best hope for peace . . ." he broke off again and giggled, shaking his head. "She fell off a Gundam . . ."

Noin nodded solemnly, "well . . . we can always say that she will always bring a smile to our faces . . . when we remember the way she died . . ."

Elsewhere . . .

She held up her hand to protect her eyes from the bright sunshine and looked up, "Gee! Thanks Dorothy!!"

Dorothy turned, and glanced over at Hilde as the other girl pulled her luggage over to the gilded limo. Hilde grinned, "it's really nice of you to help me along like this, who'd have known that we'd bump into each other at the space port and happen to be going to the same place . . ."

"Hmph! Who'd indeed!" Dorothy yanked the driver by his collar out of her car, "I'll drive thank you!"

Hilde turned ashen pale, "uh, Dorothy . . . you don't drive limos the same way as you drive Space Shuttles do you?"

"Yes. Why?"

Hilde got back out of the car, and unpacked her stuff, "TAXI!!"

And . . .

"Why didn't you go to catch her?"

Deathscythe blinked and looked up at Wing before speaking hesitantly, "didn't we want her dead?"

"Well, yes but . . ." Nataku trailed off uncertainly, internally he frowned and raised a massive hand to scratch his head slowly. "At least I think . . ."

"So?" Sandrock shrugged. "One less human to pollute the world . . ."

Wing sighed remorsefully, "Well, it's not very nice of us to let her fall like that . . ."

"Point?" Heavyarms shuffled slightly so he could be closer to Sandrock.

"I don't think I've got one but . . . still the point is that she might be seriously hurt . . ."

"Falling about seven stories, yeah . . . I think so . . ." Deathscythe chuckled darkly. "You know what . . .?"

Wing glanced over at his favourite god of death, "What?"

"I think the new personality programmes' breaking down . . ." The four other Gundams began an internal check, and as Deathscythe had said it was clear that the various strands of the old programming was being broken down by older sets of programming. Memory banks that had previously been blank restored themselves, protocols and subroutines were redirected and changed their nature as the older batch of programs were recalled and put into use. Deathscythe chuckled again as he realised that the scientists had finished their tango lessons and were working on their hard drives while everyone was distracted by the ongoing drama between Heero, Duo and the screaming banshee who'd recently added to the base's previously dull grey tarmac.

Nataku's vocal processors started to power up as a cry – incidentally starting with 'in-' and ending with '-justice' -  started to build in his Gundam's equivalent of a throat and his fist began to clench and tremble as it rose up into the air.

Sandrock's hard, icy cold expression broke as he felt the natural happiness of Quatre's very personality fill his soul, and the desire to make beautiful hot Gundam . . . music. Ahem, yes MUSIC with Heavyarms rose in his heart.

Heavyarms blinked as the layers of 'Justice' and 'Honour' type thinking faded from his mind like a memory of a Uni Student's essay deadline.

Deathscythe's frown began to part like dark storm clouds after the rain, and his arm shot up and looped around Wing's broad shoulders as he began to laugh happily.

As for Wing . . . Wing smirked, and nodded to Deathscythe, Mission accepted!

Therefore . . .

Duo glanced around Heero's head as they kissed hard, and stared at his Gundam.

Wing was hugging him again, but this time Duo could swear he saw some warm glowing happing in Deathscythe's eyes. The massive Gundam's large dark hands came up and cupped the back of Wing's head lightly as the two embraced.

Duo grinned into his kiss.

Heero's large hands came up behind his head, and laced themselves loosely into his hair.

Outside, Wufei was suffering from Zechs pointing after his sister, and screaming not unlike a girl. Wufei also suffered Noin and Une trying to suppress their laughter, and Treize standing upright and tall, with his cape fluttering impressively in the wind. Wufei was also suffering from trying very hard not to look in the direction of Quatre and Trowa as the two discovered the wonderful and weird ways Trowa's body could bend.

But the main thing Wufei suffered from was the sight of the five scientists as they stood in his direct line of sight, their grass skirts being continually blown up by the wind.

Finally, he could ask the one question that had been bugging him for the last few weird and wonderful days . . .


It really should be the end but . . .

I suppose I should tell you what really happened after Relena fell off Deathscythe's hand.

As much as I'd like to say that not unlike the Wicked Witch Of The East in the Wizard of OZ, Relena suddenly revealed that she had black and white stripy socks and ruby red shoes, and then she shrivelled up and faded away like a bad nightmare . . . I can't . . .


It's my sad duty to inform you that, like anyone else that falls from a great height, Relena suffered some great injuries, but she didn't die . . . mostly thanks to a rather large bouncy castle that had been mistakenly sent to the New Barley Base and set up, quite luckily for Relena, just under Deathscythe.

Relena was left bed bound for quite a few months where Dorothy and her Brother, Zechs visited a few times. During her stay at SunnyHappyDays hospital, Relena discovered a whole new side to herself she wasn't quite ready to accept, or believe.

She was a yaoi fangirl, who had similar inclinations as . . . well, let's just put it this way, she was broadening her horizons on the sexuality front.

Dorothy – a raving Lesbian, if you couldn't tell – was delighted that the object of her quite obvious affection had discovered this new side to herself, but sensibly took things as slowly as she could.

With a sedative.

Relena discovered that she didn't need to suppress this side of herself, and became a better person for it. She is now known for fighting for gay rights in the New Earth Government.

Meanwhile, Quatre broke the news of his newfound love with Trowa to his sisters and to Rashid . . .

Rashid promptly fainted, but Quatre's sisters took an instant shine to Trowa and welcomed him into their family. The two now are live in partners, who by day run the immensely successful Winner Enterprises Inc. and appear as a new type of double act in Trowa's circus, and by night are the scourge of OZ, with their friends as Gundam Pilots.

Thanks to Trowa's deep and meaningful thinking between his thoughts about Quatre and various . . . *contortionist* positions, the pilots were ready for a surprise attack from telepathic children under the age of thirteen who were being trained by OZ as a counter measure to the already super trained Gundam pilots.

They defeated these children with little or no effort by thinking hentai, uh, I mean happy thoughts.

Zechs and Treize, still commanding OZ by day, are now front-page models for Vogue 'New OZ Man' magazine, and get paid stupid amounts of money for standing there and looking very pretty. Their agent says that they are available for anything, and all interested parties should contact them on: 0-500-OZ-RECUITMENT-TRICK

Lady Une remains the real power behind OZ while her boss stands there, and lets his cape to blow in the wind prettily. She and Noin continue chase down the Gundam Pilots, slapping each other, taking each other's phone calls and taking it in turns to be Good OZ officer, Bad OZ officer.

It should also be mentioned, that Wufei's question was finally answered . . .

How in the hell *do* you steal five Gundam mobile suits without anyone seeing you twice, particularly the second time when the mobile suits are on a boat . . .?

Well, luckily for Wufei, Hilde Whatever-Hell-Her-Surname-Is turned up right at that point and explained all . . . her explanation ran thusly in this conveniently placed flashback . . .


Silence befell them all as Wufei bellowed across the command room. The scientists glanced at each other nervously, as Treize muttered darkly; tenderly wiping his jodhpurs down after spilling hot tea on them again. Quatre sighed and put his face in his hands, muffledly crying out, "Oh, for Allah's sake!" He glared at the scientists with a ZERO system glint to his gentle eyes, "Answer his bloody question."

The scientists glanced at each other for a moment longer, unsure as to whether or not to spill the technical beans of their seemingly superhuman ability to steal the five Gundams.

Wufei's face began to go very, very, very red as his fist began to tremble; he began tersely. "I said . . ."

"Oh, wait!! I know! I know!!"

The whole group swung around to look at Hilde as she suddenly stood and waved her arm like an excited schoolgirl.

"I know how you can steal five Gundam mobile suits from a ship without anyone seeing you!!"

Wufei raised an eyebrow, go on onna.

The whole gang of people focused intensely on Hilde as she sat down and pulled out some technical drawing of the Gundams and the PeaceTrillion. Her brow drew into a concentrated frown as she picked up a pencil and drew some markings and figures around the Gundams, "First . . ." she began tensely, "You wrap the Gundams up in highly protective bubble wrap . . . making sure you use industrial strength duct tape to keep it on. Then you tie many, many, *MANY* plastic, helium filled pillows onto of the bubble wrap, until they resemble giant chicken balls." She circled the diagram of Wing, and continued, "Adding another layer of bubble wrap, secured into place with more industrial strength duct tape, you then proceed to arrange the Gundams together, and wrap them in a think layer of rubber latex forming a gundamium ball . . ." She pulled the diagrams of the PeaceTrillion over and drew in the Gundam Giant Chicken Ball, "Then you simply roll the Gundam Giant Chicken Ball out of the hanger into the sea . . ." She made a dotted line, showing the Gundam Giant Chicken Ball falling from the ship into the sea, and then she drew a small raft with five stick figures and rope. "Where the Gundam Giant Chicken Ball can *FLOAT* . . . finally, you simply tie the Gundam Giant Chicken Ball to Doctor J's hook hand and have him drag it as the other scientists row away in a raft!"

She sat back and smiled happily at the others.


While everyone else simply rolled their eyes and walked away, shaking their heads, the five scientists got into a huddle and asked each other, "How come we didn't think of it?"

Later that same night . . .

The torchlights danced like fireflies, as they wondered out of the New Barley Base Hanger.

"Maa, maa . . . So we made another itsy bitsy mistake, it doesn't matter right now. . ."

"You're right there, you old man. . . I'm sure they'll just treat it like a mission, and sort it out . . ." the heavy haired man shook his head, "*We* did train them, remember?"

"Of course. . ." Came the snort, the metal hand clanked quietly, "And if anything, *my* perfect solider would get it before your . . ." he sneered mockingly, "Shinigami . . ."

"Wanna bet?" The heavy haired man growled, and pushed his face into the taller, metal-handed man, "Old man!"

"Not that this is fair, old hag, but a bet it is. . ."

"You're on!"

Heh. Heh. Heh.

And I suppose I should tell you what happened to Duo and Heero after Heero threw him against the wall and ravished Duo . . .

. . . but it's just so much funnier if I don't . . .