This is a collection of oneshots/plot-bunny attacks. Rating is M to be safe and overarching but I think most of the stories will be T or less. Some of these stories were plot ideas that just never took off for me, but they're all complete. I always imagine rabid plot bunnies to be the killer bunny in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Just seems appropriate.
Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter nor do I make money from this. These are just the products of an overactive imagination written down for fun and amusement.
A/N- This one takes place in the summer after fifth year.
Most people had an image in their head of Harry Potter. Reckless adventurer, brave warrior, Boy-Who-Lived, lucky git…Hermione was fairly certain that none of them were the image she was now witnessing. Harry Potter in Batman boxers making popcorn using his 'secret recipe' seasoning mix nicked from her mother's spice rack jars. It was a sight she liked. "Harry I want to start the movie sometime this millennium."
"Very funny," he rolled his eyes, "it's almost done. I'm glad you stayed in England instead of going abroad with your parents."
"I couldn't do that to you. Not after Sirius died. I wonder if the old whiskered wanker knows you're not at the Dursleys anymore."
"Dobby and Winky swear that the wards here are impenetrable," Harry turned his head to look at her, "do you think Dobby would fail me?"
"There's no such thing as too careful Harry."
"I know. But still, our own little loveshack all summer long," he smiled at the thought, "Do your parents really trust us alone?"
Hermione laughed, "I had to show them the contraception charms several times before they trusted that they wouldn't be grandparents ten months from now. They trust us both, Harry."
"Trusting two hormonal teenagers alone," he shook his head, "I will never trust our kids like your parents trust us."
His words had her grinning, "Our kids Harry? Do you know something I don't?"
Harry tossed the popcorn within the bowl to get the seasoning well spread before walking to the living room and sitting it on the table, "I know that after you were hit by that curse and I thought you were dead I felt hollow inside. I know that when we got back to Hogwarts I stayed by your side despite the old fool's attempts to separate us. I know that when you woke up I asked you to be my girlfriend and you said yes." Harry leaned in and kissed her, "And I know that I was over the moon when your parents invited me to spend the summer with you only for them to leave on holiday three days later." He watched her hit play and settled in to get comfortable on the couch, "Maybe this time we can watch the whole film?"
"Ah ah ah, Potter. You were telling me what you know. Keep going."
"I know that the first time we made love and you were in pain I was contemplating walking down to the ocean and drowning myself. I know that I would do anything and everything for you. I know that I love you."
This earned him a searing kiss from his beloved, who was soon straddling him as she was uneager to let the kiss end. "I love you too Harry."
He let her climb off of him, though she still sat against him. Harry wasn't complaining as his arm slid around her. Hermione was wearing his quidditch jersey and if her bare thighs were any indication nothing more than maybe some underwear. "I know that while we're trying to get through your dad's James Bond collection we get distracted and snog or shag instead and we're not very far into it as a result."
"It's hardly my fault you were ogling me during Goldfinger."
"And it's not my fault you were stroking me during You Only Live Twice," he retorted before leaning in to kiss her, "You look so hot in that jersey."
Hermione smiled and leaned forward to grab the popcorn bowl, "Time to watch Live and Let Die." Harry pulled her into his arms as they shifted to get comfortable and settled into watching the movie.
As the credits rolled Harry felt his eyes droop. With a warm body curled against him sleep sounded really good. Hermione lifted her head, "Come on Harry, it's time for bed."
He nodded sleepily and they let the tape rewind before putting it back in its box and cleaning up the kitchen and living room. Harry pulled her into a hug, "I know that sleeping in a separate bed from you is never going to be possible again after this summer. You're spoiling me."
She pecked him on the cheek, "I feel the same way love."
After their nightly rituals Hermione and Harry slid into bed together, immediately seeking out one another to snuggle. "Really can't sleep alone ever again," Hermione mumbled.
"I know that," he kissed her gently, "so are you wearing anything under that jersey?"
She gave him a saucy smile, "Why don't you find out for yourself?" Harry proceeded to do just that.
The next morning Hermione woke first. She looked down at Harry's face where it was resting on her stomach. The smile from their activities last night was still on his lips. She gently ran her fingers through his hair, enjoying their closeness. After being injured in the Department of Mysteries she didn't remember much. She remembered Harry finding her and asking her if she was okay. She remembered the tears in his eyes as he thought she was dead. She wanted to comfort him but the pain was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before.
When she woke up in the hospital wing Harry was by her side, holding her hand. When he saw she was awake he'd lit up and immediately tried to apologize for her getting hurt. Hermione had said it wasn't his fault and damn near had to hex him to get him to admit that he didn't fire the curse so he wasn't responsible for her injury. Harry then asked her to be his girlfriend, saying that nearly losing her made him never want to wait or take things for granted again. She'd said yes immediately and they'd shared their first kiss. Harry informed her that it was his first, which had her smiling since it was her first as well.
She remembered Poppy Pomfrey kicking Harry out at one point but he returned that night with his invisibility cloak and a book to read to her. It was a James Bond book she'd bought him for Christmas. He sat and read to her every night until she fell asleep. When she was let out of the hospital wing three days later he refused to let her carry her bookbag, carrying it for her class to class. When it came to Arithmancy and Ancient Runes he walked her to class and then picked her up when it was over. This of course caused rumors to spread but Harry and Hermione said nothing.
When the school year ended she saw the Order threatening the Dursleys as Harry carried her trunk to her parents' car for her. She saw the look in Harry's eyes at the thought of her being so far from him for two months while he was stuck in that hellhole. She'd spoken to her parents, explaining that Harry was her boyfriend and that the Dursleys were not fond of magical people. Her father had then asked Harry what his home life was like. The look on his face was all the answer the Grangers needed. As soon as the Order and others had gone Daniel Granger walked over to the Dursleys and spoke clearly, "My daughter is your nephew's best friend and would like him to stay with us this summer. Harry seems happy to do so. Does he have your permission?" Daniel Granger had played rugby in college and could cut an imposing figure when he wanted to; both Dursleys nodded their agreement and gave written consent that Hermione had written up quickly. They wanted proof if anyone raised a stink.
She felt movement and looked down to see Harry's head shifting so that he could gaze up at her, "My goddess," he breathed, smiling at her. "You look gorgeous in the morning."
"How did you sleep?"
"Perfectly," he kissed his way up her torso, lingering on her breasts, "What were you thinking about?"
"How we got to be here in this bed together."
"Happy memories then," Harry shifted to be eye level with her, resting on his elbows. "I liked the parts where you chose a new wardrobe for me and your parents took me to the eye doctor to get contacts and new glasses."
"Your new frames are much preferable to those old ones," she nodded. "I love you."
"I love you," he kissed her on the lips, "you know, there is one other thing that I know. I know that I already have the engagement ring picked out and ordered. I know that I'm planning to propose to you before we go back to school."
Hermione pulled him into a deep kiss. When they broke for air she whispered, "I know that I'll say yes when you do." The smile on Harry's face grew before he pulled her to him. Celebrating a pre-engagement worked just as well as celebrating an actual engagement. They were happy for that.