Hello, hello! I wrote this for the FlowerClan contest #1. Hope it's alright... :/

Disclaimer I do not own the Warriors concept. Nope. Sorry to disappoint. :P


Prompt:

A cat has just lost everyone he loves, and his head is full of memories. He has lost everything and everyone.


It felt like everything was just out of my paws all the time. I couldn't control the outcome of a single thing. My littermates, Hawkfeather and Poppyleaf were accomplished cats in comparison to me. Poppyleaf was the FireClan medicine cat. She was witty, understanding and beautiful. All the toms loved her. Then Hawkfeather was the deputy. He was strong and proud, but also kind and compassionate. Too perfect entities that once put spotlights on me when the three of us were apprentices.

How could I, the sibling of these two wonderful cats, be so completely awful at all of the fundamentals in being a clan cat. It was bad enough that they contrasted me so much, but for my parents and clanmates to go so far as be disappointed in me? How was it my fault that I wasn't as quick on my paws as Hawkfeather or clearly sharp-whiskered like Poppyleaf. Briarflower and Gorsepelt were so busy comparing me to my littermates that they never really came to even know me.

I was Frostpaw, the only apprentice in FireClan to have taken more than twelve moons to become a warrior. Then I became Froststep, the useless warrior. I despaired. How was I supposed to even prove myself to them? Wasn't I just fine how I was? Sure, I was small for a tom. Sure, I was clumsy, but at least I was trying. I could have given up a long time ago.

Then I met her. She came to me in my dreams, a beautiful, mottled brown she cat. Muscles bulged beneath her long pelt. Sharp, amber eyes that were full of wisdom gazed upon me sympathetically. Her name was Spiderfang.

"Hello, Froststep," she greeted me in her quiet, yet powerful voice. Spiderfang was the sort of cat that was intimidating to look at, and I was mystified. Was she a StarClan cat? Was I actually special in some way? Hope burst into my heart at our first encounter.

"I was once a FireClan warrior, just like you," she began in a slightly broken tone that shocked me. Why did she sound so sad? I hated to hear her speak that way, as if something awful had happened in FireClan.

"I was oppressed and unloved. They didn't appreciate me either," Spiderfang continued, meeting my eyes. I had found a kindred soul. It hurt so much, and yet I was so happy.


"Frostpaw! Frostpaw! Look! Look!" a fluffy, white she-cat squealed loudly. Her bright, amber eyes glittered so brightly with excitement and my heart twisted. I was so painfully in love with her. I just wanted the chance... the chance to win her over with something amazing. I wanted to prove myself at least once before her.

"What is it?" I asked, almost too eagerly. Whitepaw picked up a pigeon, flaunting it before me.

"My first kill!" She was gleaming. I was almost crying at how beautiful she looked then before me. Her long tail swishing back and forth. I was proud of her, but at the same time, it kind of hurt. Everyone was just better at those things.

"Wow! A pigeon," I meowed in reply. Whitepaw nodded then scampered off to tell everyone else that she could.

.

"Umm... Do you know where Whitepaw is?" I asked Hawkfeather carefully. My brother swung his head, gazing fiercely into my eyes.

"No, I do not, Froststep," Hawkfeather replied, waving me off with his tail. I felt my pelt heat up.

"Isn't she your apprentice!?" I yowled at him. Hawkfeather sent me a look, forcing me to back off. I was such a wimp. To me, my siblings were harsh, but with everyone else, that wasn't the case. They were kind and expressive as long as the cat wasn't me.

I padded off, dejected.

.

Whitepaw. No one ever saw her again. That was because I never told anyone the truth. I couldn't. It was bad enough that I was useless, but being the one who found her mangled body? I couldn't be that cat. Then everyone would pity me. I didn't want their pity.

She lay there so pitifully in the snow. Her face the only thing that remained mostly intact. Something had killed and eaten her. I couldn't bear this truth in my heart. It hurt so much. Everything in me ached. I had loved her. My Whitepaw. She had always been so kind to me. She had been only a few weeks away from her assessment too.

I couldn't believe it. It couldn't have been real. Surely Whitepaw would come home soon. She'd just gotten a bit lost...

.

"Oh, Froststep..." Spiderfang meowed softly, "It's alright... It's alright." Spiderfang leaned against my flank, allowing me to grieve that night, our usual battle training put off to the next time we met. Spiderfang was a wonderful cat. She was so sincere and kind. I couldn't begin to understand how FireClan could have pushed her away like she said they did.

Still, even to this bleak, snowy day, Whitepaw haunts my thoughts. Seeing something like that doesn't ever leave you. I knew that all too well.


I don't really know what happened. I blacked out, that was all. I had gotten irritated. Someone had mentioned Whitepaw. Then some cats began to shame her for running off. I lost it.

My body went on autopilot or something. I had meant to... it wasn't like I had wanted to kill so many... Yeah, I had killed them. Dapplefur, Thornclaw and even Briarflower, who had apparently tried to stop me. I was pinned down by Hawkfeather, whose eyes were full of rage.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" he roared in my face. I stared back at my brother void of all emotion. In a way, the feel of their blood on my claws was nice. I had always wanted to be strong. Killing three warriors proved me to be strong, right? That was a pretty pleasing thought to me. Maybe something was wrong with me.

"Hawkfeather..." Poppyleaf began, attempting to calm our brother. He was losing his composure, and as deputy, he believed he shouldn't let his emotions preside over his decisions. He released me, but only to drag me into Darkstar's den.

I was banished that day. I never really knew if I was happier as a loner... I had already lost everything anyway. So maybe it wasn't so bad. But I still wished I had killed Hawkfeather too. He was the reason Whitepaw had died. He was too careless with her apprenticeship. StarClan, I missed her.


I hope you enjoyed it. Please drop a review if you have the time!

~Minatu-chan