Yule Singing Not Approved
Summary: Erestor and Glorfindel had little in common but they agreed on one thing; never let a drunken Elrond start singing.
Warnings: Bit of OOC for the whole lot of characters, I'd imagine.
Disclaimers: I don't own Lord of the Rings nor do I make any money writing fanfiction.
Placing Erestor and Glorfindel next to each other, and people wouldn't see them having much in common, beside the fact both of them were elves.
Erestor was a bit short for an elf, still tall compared to humans mind, and quite slender with dark hair and eyes. Glorfindel however was taller with a greatly built body, bright blonde hair and blue eyes. They shared no interests, Erestor being a scholar and Glorfindel a warrior, and they both had vastly different duties in Rivendell. Whenever they were seen together outside their rooms or offices, they argued. They seemed to love arguing with each other.
But they did get along, surprisingly, and they got along very well with each other. And if there was something they both truly agreed on, was to never let Elrond get enough air in his lungs to start singing on Yule. That, usually accompanied by a few glasses of wine, and it took nothing less of knocking him out to shut him up. If one was lucky.
It was a bit of shock for those who only saw Elrond during the days, all regal and composed, a calm and collected elf that glided through the halls of Rivendell. But give him a jug of wine, and leave him unsupervised for more than five minutes, and he'd be off.
Erestor was woken up on Yule morning, but thankfully not because of Elrond's singing. Had he started this early, there was no peace to find for the rest of the very long day. It was enough that had happened last year.
No, he was woken up by Glorfindel and the blond elf crossed the room, nearly jumping onto the bed that made Erestor's head bounce on the pillow.
"No, I will not," Erestor said.
"Sorry. Instinct response. What do you want?"
"The wine!" Glorfindel said horrified.
"Wine?" Erestor sat up. "I thought you liked wine."
"Aye, I do, but there are a lot of lord Elrond's favourites being moved to the hall!"
"Aye, it's a disaster!"
"Surely the others must know what mistake they are committing?"
Glorfindel snorted. "They must have been muddling it in themselves yesterday, for they wouldn't spot a disaster coming running on a warg with twelve orcs on it."
"Can a warg have twelve orcs on its back?" Erestor asked as he was pulled out of bed.
"I wouldn't be surprised, even if it meant they had to cling on," Glorfindel said. "Oh, the wine, the wine! Do you remember last year?"
"… I'd rather not."
"See, it was that horrible. Do we want a repeat of that?"
"Well then," Glorfindel said. "Get dressed."
"And what are we going to do about it? We can't forbid lord Elrond from drinking!"
"No, but we can make sure he doesn't get all his favourite wine."
Erestor looked from his wardrobe. "How?"
"Hiding it of course."
Erestor sighed. He was quite sure this day would feel very long, regardless of singing lords or not.
An hour later, and Erestor was not amused.
"This is practically stealing!" he hissed.
"We are not stealing," Glorfindel protested. "We are merely… protecting our ears and sanity from very bad singing. Lord Elrond can't hold a tune when he had a few of these."
The blond elf almost shoved a bottle into Erestor's face. The brunette moved it away, glaring at him.
"I will get hell for this, correct?" Glorfindel said. "You'll do something terrible to me in the end, when I least expect it."
"Remember that, and fear me," Erestor growled. "I can't see why we had to go outside, in the cold, when it's snowing, just to hide away a few bottles of wine!"
"And if you don't keep it down, they won't remain hidden. Cheer up, Erestor. It's Yule, and snow is pretty."
Erestor glared at him. "Not when you're not dressed for the weather."
"Oh… another revenge I shall await?"
"When you think you're safe…" Erestor shivered. "Lord Elrond will grow suspicious soon."
Glorfindel put away the last few and then motioned him back to the house. Erestor thought it might just be worth it, if it meant Elrond's singing would be kept to a minimum. Perhaps he would just get tipsy enough to let Erestor flee the party early. The brunette was not fond of too much music and song.
Anyway, with Glorfindel there, Elrond would hardly notice anyone leaving. The blond occupied a large space in every room he was in, not by doing anything special, but just by being himself. Erestor had never had that in him, keeping people's attention, or even wanting it.
They got back into the warm halls and Erestor stopped by a fireplace to heat up his chilled fingers. The feast had yet to start, but elves were steadily moving towards the main hall.
"Be glad we actually dressed for the night before getting those bottles away from Elrond," Glorfindel commented.
Erestor merely glared at him.
"Surely you will appreciate it later, when lord Elrond simply goes from the halls to his sleeping quarters."
"That is true," Erestor conceded. "Perhaps I shall not heave such a heavy revenge upon you if we are able to sleep in peace tonight."
"Just what I wanted to hear, mellon-nin. Now, I believe we will be missed if we don't hurry up."
There was still a lot of wine left, and Erestor wondered where humans got the notion that elves were graceful during all waking hours. A drunken elf was not a graceful one. Elrond was bordering on tipsy but by no means outright drunk, and so Erestor wasn't too worried yet. He just didn't want to spend the whole night with two pillows covering his ears, trying to sleep, while a drunken elven lord sang the same song seemingly outside of everyone's door for the fifteenth time.
He had done that enough years already. Or not even trying to sleep, instead working and keeping his door and windows locked, for a drunken Elrond also meant a creative elven lord who tried to find him, or Glorfindel. Once that happened Erestor had every time, at the end of it been quite tempted to try run Elrond through with a sword, despite not knowing how to hold a blade properly.
"I believe our plan is working," Glorfindel said, appearing suddenly behind him.
"Do not say so until the night is over," Erestor replied. "What of you? Not drinking tonight?"
"I am a bit more careful than our dear lord. And you then? What's your excuse?"
"I will in no way drink myself into a drunken stupor just because people around me do," the black-haired elf said, glancing over at him.
"You're including me in that drunken stupor, aren't you?"
"Yes. How clever of you to find that out."
"Erestor… might I remind you I may take my revenge too?"
"Remember what happened last time. You tried to throw me into the water, I made you go along and we ended up falling down a waterfall. Lord Elrond barely managed to heal us because he was laughing too hard."
Glorfindel winced and rubbed his chest. "I remember that. You landed on my chest! You're no Elfling you know; it hurt."
"I know. It meant to hurt," Erestor replied. "So try if you wish, just remember I won't make it easy for you."
"You are just impossible aren't you?" Glorfindel said, but he had a smile on his face and it made Erestor smile a bit as well.
"Aye, I am. Get used to it."
"Oh, I believe I already have. I just wishfully ignore it at times." Glorfindel glanced over at Elrond. "Is it me or does he look drunk?"
"Not to the point he sings," Erestor replied. "But he has reached the point he shall require assistance getting to his chambers."
"But when he sings he walks on his own."
"He's too drunk then to remember he shouldn't be able to walk on his own."
"You have to admit that is quite the skill," Glorfindel said.
"Aye, but not one should approve of too much."
Elrond laughed, and both of them glanced over.
"Does no one remember what happens when he's too drunk?" Erestor moaned in despair.
"Blissful ignorance, I believe, or they can't remember it."
"How can they forget decades of horrid waiting to see if he will go around all night, singing until someone knocks him out or he knocks himself out by walking into a wall?"
"With skill. And wine." Glorfindel glanced around. "Make it a lot of wine. A horrendous amount of wine."
"If it happens tonight, I will extract revenge upon the whole household for forgetting that one does not give too many drinks to Elrond…"
Erestor growled into his pillow. Glorfindel punched another, then ducked underneath it with his head.
"I thought we had taken pre-cautions!" the blond wailed.
"Next year we will not take Lord Elrond lightly and simply forbid wine," Erestor growled. "Order dwarf ale instead. That will make everyone stay sober at least."
"Oh, but I like wine…"
"One bottle then. No, two. One for you, and one for me, and possibly a good hiding-spot so the other elves can't chase us down in search of getting hammered," the dark-haired elf said. "Will he ever stop?!"
Elrond took a breath, a blissful silence for a beat, and then started again. Now, there was nothing wrong with Elrond's usual singing; both Glorfindel and Erestor admitted that. Elves generally knew how to sing, and how to sing well. It was just… well, they weren't really that good once they did get drunk. Most elves didn't sing and get drunk at the same time, but Elrond was one of those who did.
And despite their hopes and hiding several of the wine bottles, Elrond had found time to take a breath long enough to start singing. And so their night was ruined.
"I swear," Erestor muttered. "Oh, come morning, come with your sweet, bleak sun and they all will pay."
Hearing the tone, Glorfindel whimpered. He had faced a Balrog and numerous orcs, but somehow an angered Erestor was something he wanted to avoid facing at all costs.
"May I stay in your rooms while you do that?" he asked. "Please… I do not think I can steady my nerves otherwise."
"Very well, you may. If you agree to order dwarf ale to next Yule."
"And two bottles of wine. One for me, and one for you. Aye, I agree. I swear. And we'll hide so no one else smells the sweetness of the wine and tries to hunt us down in an effort to get drunk."
"Good. Oh dear no, not the same song again!"
Elrond apparently didn't grow tired of singing the same song again and both elves tried to shield their ears to no avail.
"It is at times like this I wish I had no hearing!" Glorfindel moaned. "Can one not remove one's hearing for a while?!"
"I believe that is still impossible, but I will check some books tomorrow just to assure me of that fact," Erestor replied. "Should I ever find a method, I will certainly teach you it."
"Thank the Valar…"
Elrond's voice carried strong over the whole household and both Erestor and Glorfindel glanced at each other. There would be no rest for them this night.
Morning came, chilly and crisp. Erestor was up. Glorfindel had by now crawled under the covers on Erestor's bed and glanced at the scholar.
"Is that my sword?"
"Erestor… are you going to use that on lord Elrond?"
Erestor weighed the sword in his hand. Despite his petite statue, for an elf that is, he had no problems holding Glorfindel's blade. Still, there was no skill behind that strength on how to properly use it, but once encouraged, even a scholar could get down to the swinging-sword-around business.
"Tempted," he admitted, "but no." He put the sword back down.
"Good, because I think that would be going a bit overboard. What are you doing to do?"
"You'll hear it," Erestor said cheerfully and exited the room.
Glorfindel sat up, scanning the room in a sudden panic, and then sank back with a sigh of relief. Erestor had a few weapons in his chambers, but they were all in place. One never knew with an irate Erestor… the blond elf remembered, painfully, when he accidently irritated Erestor while the scholar held a sword. He hadn't struck the elf from behind, nor attacked with the sharp sides but brought the flat side hard on Glorfindel's shins, and then harshly poked him with the sharp edge.
From that day on, Glorfindel vowed never to upset Erestor when the scholar held, or was anywhere near anything sharp or pointy.
While Glorfindel eased down from his fretful state, Erestor moved with determination towards the kitchen. He knew Elrond would have a headache. It took a lot to get an elf drunk, but elves also happened to like to drink when there was an occasion for it, and their wine was a lot stronger than human's wines and ales. And dwarves' ales, because, let's face it, dwarves did not have wine. That would make them seem a bit like elves, and Erestor knew even if they did drink wine, they'd deny it. Stubborn little creatures, but amusing all the same.
Entering the kitchen, Erestor found his tools. It was nothing much really; just a saucepan and a metallic spoon. However, brought together, they made a lot of noise.
A lot. Which is exactly what Erestor wanted.
Positioning himself right outside of Elrond's chambers, he pressed his ear to the door and noted with pleasure that the elf lord was asleep. Well, not for long. Taking a step back, Erestor began, and he did it with a smile on his lips.
When Glorfindel ventured outside and to the hall for something to eat, Elrond was there. Holding his head. Groaning. With Erestor sitting next to him, looking incredibly pleased with himself.
"What?" Glorfindel said.
"No need for that dwarf ale next year," Erestor said. "Lord Elrond has signed-"
"You forced me!" Elrond roared, then moaned and let his aching head sink back to his hands.
"Has. Signed a paper that forbids him from singing," Erestor finished.
"How exactly will that stop him?" Glorfindel couldn't help but ask.
"The consequences would be dire, direr than an irate counsellor banging a saucepan with a metal spoon outside his rooms for an hour."
"My poor head," Elrond moaned.
"My poor ears!" Erestor shouted. "Glorfindel, why don't you take a seat?"
"Will revenge be taken upon me? You mentioned it? Should I fear to take a seat?"
"Don't be ridiculous and take a seat. Now."
Erestor was, as stated earlier, quite petite for an elf, but Glorfindel knew better than to defy that look. The look that promised hell should he not comply.
"Oh, and by the way, some letters arrived today," Erestor continued, looking at Elrond. The lord raised his head at last. "Thranduil wished you to know he sent his son here for, I quote 'some calm time'."
If anything it made Elrond's face drain of all colour.
"Valar, no! Legolas… he's a sweet child but his energy… I'll never recover! Erestor…"
"Oh, not to worry. It will take some days before he arrive, so I suggest no heavy drinking or silly singing in the middle of the night when good elves are trying to sleep. And I'm not the only one saying that."
Elrond blushed now, and a few elves softly laughed. Erestor was one of the few elves in Rivendell to completely bring Elrond to his knees.
"Now, drink some water, mellon-nin. You look positively parched," Erestor said, something glowing in his eyes and Glorfindel couldn't decide whether it was energy or madness.
He decided not to find out, and hoped Erestor would rest some before extracting revenge upon the blond elf as well. With a little luck, this would be the last time for quite a bit that Erestor was held up at night, and while Glorfindel enjoyed listening to singing he still agreed with what Erestor had written upon a parchment, now lying next to him and bearing lord Elrond's signature at the bottom. The parchment began, in all brutal honesty:
Yule singing not approved, as stated quite a number of times before, and consequences of hearing this final warning will bring not death but misery from chief counsellor and possibly a sword he stole from Glorfindel.
Well, all of it except for the sword-bit. With that, Glorfindel took to prepare his breakfast when a bucket of cold water fell on top of his head. He sighed, and pushed the bucket off his head. Some stared. Others started laughing. He didn't even try to glare at Erestor when the dark-haired elf raised an eyebrow.
"Oh my. You seem to have gotten a bit wet. Are you cold?"
"Yes, I am, Erestor. Thank you for inquiring of my health."
"Oh no, it was my pleasure. I hope you won't have to wait too long to change into dry clothes."
"Will you two stop it?" Elrond groaned. "It's bad enough I was woken up by some inane banging-"
"Which he deserved," Erestor hissed.
"-without having to listen to you two going on," Elrond finished. "Glorfindel… why are you wet?"
Well, while hangovers were rare it did happen to elves. Glorfindel didn't even try to explain, and glanced at Erestor in the corner of his eye. He wouldn't put it past the petite elf to try something with their food.
All this because of singing. Aye indeed, Yule singing was not approved in this house!
A bit silly, but enjoyable for me to write. I made them very silly here, but that was fun as well. I hope you enjoyed!
Until next time,